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7 Ways To Stop Being Needy - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomance7 Ways To Stop Being Needy (747 Views)

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7 Ways To Stop Being Needy by babs01(op): 7:18am On Jan 03, 2015
Have you ever been described as
needy or clingy? Do you get so excited
about a new friendship or relationship
that you bombard the other person
with attention, only to find that the
person starts to seem distant? If you
find yourself wanting to call, text, or e-
mail someone a whole lot more than
they contact you, you've probably
figured out that neediness is a turn-off
to most people. See Step 1 to learn
how to find the source of your
neediness and gain the confidence to
tone it down.

1. Put on the brakes. Every relationship develops at its own pace, and there's no need to fast forward to being "soul mates" or "best friends forever" just because things feel great. Cherish the novelty of it all, and the excitement of having something new, because it'll never be new again. It can be nerve-wracking not knowing how a certain connection is going to unfold, but it's also exciting! Be patient and
learn to savor that excitement.

2. Take off the rose-tinted glasses.
Part of the reason people get disproportionately excited sometimes is because we tend to idealize others in the very beginning of a relationship.
Make it a point to remind yourself that this new person in your life is human, which means they're not perfect .
They will make mistakes, and you need to be ready to cope and forgive, rather than act shocked that the person dares to be anything but perfect.

3. Practice quid pro quo (a Latin phrase for "this for that"wink. Imagine your interaction with this person is like a tennis or volleyball game. Every time you initiate contact, you throw the ball to their side of the court. Then, you have to wait for them to send it back. You don't toss a whole bunch more just to make sure he or she is still interested in playing. If you're a little on the needy side, you probably get nervous and worried while you're waiting. When this happens, take a deep breath. If you've already gotten in touch with someone (you sent them an e-mail or text message, or you gave them a call and left a voice message)
there's no need to do it again.

4 Don't be suffocating. No matter how close you are to another person spending all your time with him or her is going to get overwhelming. Even if the person loves you, he or she is not going to want to be with you at every
waking (and maybe sleeping) moment. If you find it difficult to be away from the person for even a few minutes, you're almost definitely creating a situation that will eventually blow up in your face. As hard as it might be, force yourself to back off and give the person some space. Spend a few nights away, do activities you like to do, and don't call for text for a bit. Your relationship will definitely improve, because the old adage that "absence makes the heart
grow fonder" is true.

5 Recognize signs that the other person is no longer interested. It
happens sometimes, for a variety
of reasons, but one thing is for sure--showering the person with more attention will never change their mind.
Think about whether the person is acting fickle. Some people just aren't good about maintaining a friendship or
relationship, and sometimes they're lazy, or forgetful. More often, though, if someone isn't responsive, it's not because they forgot to call you back -
it's because they made a choice not to.
It might be that the other person just needs some time to focus on other things for awhile. It doesn't have to
mean the end of your relationship.

6 Respect the other person's wishes. Getting ignored or iced out can feel like rejection - well, it is rejection, and that really hurts. But once someone has decided they're ready to move on, there's nothing you can do to force the issue. Do your best to move on and resist the urge to be pushy. Lashing out or trying to hurt the other person in
return will only make the person grow even more distant.

7 See if your needs are being met. If the person on your mind doesn't
flat-out reject you, but he or she demonstrates flaky behavior and seems to be leading you on, think about whether you really want this
person in your life. Just because
you want to spend time with your
friend or significant other doesn't
make you "needy."

source http://m.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-Needy
Re: 7 Ways To Stop Being Needy by Rapsainot(m): 7:32am On Jan 03, 2015
Op just give me owo odun

Re: 7 Ways To Stop Being Needy by geloorrrrdd(m): 7:33am On Jan 03, 2015
grin huh
Re: 7 Ways To Stop Being Needy by kerijay(m): 7:38am On Jan 03, 2015
.
Re: 7 Ways To Stop Being Needy by babs01(op): 7:40am On Jan 03, 2015
Rapsainot:
Op just give me owo odun
don't worry i will give u, cos givers neva lack
Re: 7 Ways To Stop Being Needy by drnoel: 7:53am On Jan 03, 2015
Bullshit
Re: 7 Ways To Stop Being Needy by babs01(op): 7:55am On Jan 03, 2015
drnoel:
Bullshit
no be me go reply u, but my goons
Re: 7 Ways To Stop Being Needy by drnoel: 8:10am On Jan 03, 2015
babs01:
no be me go reply u, but my goons
The post is still bullshit no insults meant.
1 Reply

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