Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.

She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.

My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.

She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.

Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.

After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.

Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.

Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.

Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.

Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.


Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.

She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.

Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you.

OP so sorry but I have some questions for u;
U saw all these before going to the alter? If no then what are the things u started doing after the wedding or what are the things u stopped doing after your wedding?
Secondly have u for once mingled with her friend or do u cheat on her?
Wish to hear both sides of the story

Tobiegal:
@OP, it's a pity you have such vocal wife.

But, like you said its barely a year... Separation isn't really the answer. Would suggest you try to understand what drives her to act the way she does...and why she says what she says...

The issue is way beyond her paying for rent?

You need to understand that despite been married, we are firstly our own individual...and you need to respect that even if you don't agree.

Marriage is all about partnerships...work in progress... If you can't take hold of the situation... Then,... I don't know...

And like its usually advises to women...pls prayer for her...above all... Patience is Key.

Good luck

wish kind mumu advise be dis? its a pity you have such a vocal wife, he should be patient and die of high blood pressure

For the un-married ones like me, i'm staying glued to this post

OP, you married a wh0re.

The child might not even be yours.

I blame you for not walking out.

She sees you as a fool and rightly so.

You have only one life to live, you can choose to remain with that wh0re or move on and live a better peaceful life.

If I were you I will do a partenity test to ascertain if the child is even mine.

If it turns out it is not yours do not even confront her just thank God for giving you a new lease of life. Walk out on her and if she then persist that you pay for child support, get a court order restraining her and her family from disturbing you citing the DNA test.

Goodluck.

God will help you Op and for those critcizing the op, Thunder fire all of una there.

This lady must be beautifulllllll for you to overlook her bad mouth and still married her....

Op,pls divorce her sharp sharp!

Move out of the house ASAP! That woman would never hesitate to kill you
Meet with a lawyer and begin divorce proceedings...And don't inform her about any of these before moving out

@POSTER

Your wife she craze. She is a real nasty piece of work. Take her to T.B Joshua for deliverance. For real yo. I thank Yehovah God I am free from evil wenches.

Yet you call her a nice person ?

Anyway, can you find your marriage certificate? If yes, look for the witnesses that signed and report this issue. Next is for you to gather every soul that attended your marriage ceremony and inform them of your next steps.

If you can't do both tasks, then stick to the relationship.

Am sure pipu advice you against marrying her.but anyway u made the mistk alredi, I can tk side right now cos d could be more to this.so my advice is go to God in prayers and ask for direction.

WombRaiders:
Yoruba woman?

get out from this thread before I descend on you, stupid tribal he goat.

lorrrdddddd

see wahala

Only Buhari regime can support this...play Ludo till Buhari go school

I do not give advice on this sort of situation until I hear the other side of the story. Those of you abusing that lady, your opinion will change when you hear from his wife.
As elantraceey told you, you saw all these things before marrying her. The girl certainly didn't change from an angel to devil within one year.

For me you don't need advice hence you said at the beginning of your Thread that She is a good person.

EfemenaXY:


Your wife hasn't cheated on you, stolen your money, or committed any mortal crime.

Your marriage is barely one year old. You made those vows for-better-for-worse. What you're going through is a bumpy phase. You don't just throw in the trowel at the first hurdle.

Man up and face your responsibilities and quit trying so hard to force yourself on her. It's not your place to tear down her clothes, butt pads or not, simply because you don't like them. By doing so, you've lowered yourself in her eyes, hence her fighting you back in retaliation.

Rather than dwell on the negatives of your marriage, try to see the positives - afterall, you must have seen something in her for you to have married her in the first place. Dwell on the positives and you both should strive to improve upon how you relate to each other. Cut out the third parties and keep your business your business.

Goodluck.

I pray you pass though this and you call it a phase in your marriage. For the sake of *ajani* don't quote me.

I feel ur pains my brother. I do not really know what to say but I will add that 1. Get back to ur spiritual Father in church and tell him so that he can give some words.
2. Please when this game is over (I hope it will) find a family that is ur model family ( of 15-20 yrs old marriage), get to them with ur wife. Make friends with them so that you guys can share ideas together.
3. Pray that the Holy Spirit will come to your aid.
It is indeed a situation but please see whatyou can do.

cococandy:
The biggest red flag that should have made you press the pause button was when she started threatening to kill you.

Butt pads and insults and all those other things are not even issues that can't be resolved. They are kinda minor compared to the death threats in my opinion.

Although it was wrong of you to try force what she was wearing out of her body. See what it resulted in,tearing each other's clothes in front of people. Very embarrassing.

You could have spared yourself that shame by disregarding it afterall she was wearing it on her own body.

A body you should have distanced yourself from a long time before the butt pad came into the picture. She did start threatening to kill you before that. not so? That's when divorce proceeding should have started.

never ever ever I repeat spend a night with someone who has verbally threatened to kill you or has wished you dead.
Chei nwoke m you're playing ludo with your life.
If you've not already separated from her, then you're too slow for my liking.

on her own body??what are u saying , you women na una dey carry marriage for head, yet you dont do your homework properly, the bible says after marriage her body belongs to him, and vice versa, imagine your hubby telling you he loves to smoke weed outside, is it your lungs? smh

omo sorry to tell you dis,you are married to a witch

Timbuktou:
Bros, after the divorce do a thanksgiving ceremony. Congratulations.

SMH!

Your better divorce Her, for Your own good.

She is a who're and obviously doesn't respect you.. You are a fool to think that marriage is going anywhere, better get out before you kill her or kill yourself...she is never going to change, get that into your head bro...lastly that kid might not even be yours

I heard a wise man say some years back that don't complain to others. 90% don't care and the remaining 10 % is glad it is not them. Don't you go to church or have elderly respected people in your families that you can confide in or even trusted friends?. Abi u jump from heaven. At worse meet a family counsellor and don't bring your marital issues here. You won't get good advice. Understand that it is a true test of your managerial ability to run your home well and manage crises as a man or husband. Or are u a child?. U saw something in her that made you tie the knot. Look at those qualities and don't look for a diff person from the one u married. If u must, welcome progress instead of perfection. Maybe you married her cos she has the capacity to compliment and support u financially. you can't just start calling the shot all of a sudden. You need to earn it by providing for her now or play the lovina card in the interim. Work hard and provide for your lady and she will be loyal forever. Men must face reality. Sorry I am a bit hard on u. That is the way it is bro. Every
Husband or man got his fair share of woman's trouble, the ability to sort it out is what makes u happily married . Set the boundaries. Divorce is not an option or the unthinkable option. Cheer!

Original Title by OP- Separation is imminent in my marriage.

Modified title by mods - Nairalander's wife wants to send assassins to kill him.

Supermoderator, I hail thee o.

ocelot2006:
Yet you call her a nice person ?

The man is useless.

Ashewoe man marry ashewoe woman.

WombRaiders:


Shatap there.

Yoruba women are highly adultreous.

Yoruba women lead in divorcee rates.


Yoruba women are most likely to have children from multiple men.

Yoruba women are most likely to have children out of wedlock

Yoruba women are more concerned about fashion than the home because they see nothing attracting other men.


FACT!

how many of them have you slept with?ode oponu

Some people funny, disaster dey the op house ,some people three idiat clicked on "LIKE" button on his first post, na wa o, una really know the meaning of that like button, even on facebook ,person go say his youger brother just died all of a sudden 100 donkeys go click like
@ topic
Oga op , sorry I can't help u

Rep042:
Thank you all for your contributions, I really appreciate your comments,suggestions and advice.
God bless.

just pray and ask for God's guidance but that person is not a wife rather she is a hoe wrecker.