₦airaland Forum

freecocoa:
Ofcourse I'm assuming things that could happen in cases like this na, since madam wasn't patient enough to find out, or isn't any of those assumptions possible? We are all human and you don't need to be told, how a person is likely to react, when someone they already consider 'annoying' further does something to piss them off.

Again, you don't know why this lady entered that kitchen, emphasis on why, that's why you can't judge her based on what you did where you were staying for your IT.

She has crossed a line, okay we all agree, now find out why she crossed the line, the madam didn't do that, remember she was already angry, coupled with how she thinks the girl is annoying, she must have been harsh and rude to the girl in her approach, which made the girl reason "it's because I'm in your house na" and said to the madam "I don't blame you".

You and I weren't there, of a truth but if you understand human behavior, you will be able to see clearer what must have transpired, I don't support this girl but I need you to understand that, it's important to think before talking and concluding on people and that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

The girl went into her kitchen, which some people consider wrong(keeping in mind that we don't know why she did), is that enough reason to talk to her anyhow? Even after talking to her anyhow, you still expect her to be nice to you? Why please?

chaircover:
Buky I have indirectly answered your question but since you want it in black and white here goes . .

No - I will not mind for someone who I have let sleep in my home goes into my kitchen and cook if I have chosen not to get out of bed in the morning to see that my guests are fed and comfortable.

Yes – I will only go to sleep in homes where I am welcome, hence, will think nothing of rustling something up to eat in the morning or opening their fridge and getting a drink if I was thirsty and even washing plates in the sink if I saw any . . . . . . . and I don’t even mind cooking for the whole house while I am there.

The issue is that you should not be opening your door for or going to people’s houses that you are not familiar with or you have issues with in the first instance.

My fridge is in my kitchen and when guests come, rather than this tray and glass malarkey I prefer to tell my guests to open the fridge and take whatever they want.

aisha2:
Well for me no big deal about kitchen its somewhere anyone can enter and get food abeg. All I would have expected from guest is to politely answer madam and both would have joked and laughed over it. Some women like stress, me I no fit all that protocol and wahala, I tell you feel free, see where everything is no just disturb my sleep na my own be that.

But perhaps girl was rude because madam was hostile from the beginning but I like girl somehow she no dey carry nonsense and so the man too no dey carry her play. If she didn't have strong stand with the man the girl for do eye service kneel down beg self, these is how babes should be no eye service from start tomorrow if he marries her the standard is already set no one will disrespect her and oga will allow

LordReed:
Here is the reported progression of the event:

I summoned courage to ask what she was doing in my kitchen! She should have waited for the hostess (myself) to prepare whatever she will be eating. I got angry.

Then she throw these words at me, 'I don't blame u.
I blame Cassidy who refused we lodge in a hotel'.

Before I could say 'jack' she and my husband's friend packed their things and left the house.

Did the chic attempt to give a reason? Did the madam not ask? Was there any attempt to set the record straight after the fracas?

freecocoa:
.

I didn't o.

moca:
U know why this topic is still trending?

Cos it depict d behavior of an average nigerian wife who believes that her authority and world begins and ends in d kitchen.

Also we tend to have that feeling of superiority once the ring is there.
All other unmarried ladies(even if they r better of) will forever remain under her. So in every opportunity that avail itself,we tend to show off that we r better off.

D truth is,unmarried ladies suffer a lot from their married counterparts(no wonder everybody want to marry anybody by all means and when d kitchen is too hot, will not wanna come out Bc of bashing from d same people).

aisha2:
Read well and digest slowly I have answered your question more than once self i humoured you by answering again no turn me to craze person wey go dey repeat one thing abeg. I clearly answered there abeg, and i guess it makes me " ill mannered and unright thinking Naija person "

rebella:
Much ado about nothing. To bukatyne questions, 1 I won't enter the a host kitchen unless given permission.
2. If a guest enters my kitchen without my permission, I wudn't fuss, I'll just make sure she has everything she wants. No time for unnecessary stress.

freecocoa:
Lol .

1.The madam is the one recounting what happened.

E.The madam made it clear, she found the girl's attitude annoying(before the encounter in the kitchen o)meanwhile, they arrived by 10pm the previous night o.

3.When do you think a married woman with a 7 months old baby go to sleep in Nigeria? Yet she had time to notice the girl had an annoying attitude, okay o.

From the above points, we can clearly see that, Madam is already biased, therefore, she wouldn't be totally fair in her recount, so there's no way she talked to the girl with a friendly disposition, it is that simple, you know it and I know it.

Btw, "what are you doing in my kitchen, you should have waited for me to prepare what you'll be eating"

How do you think that would sound when said by someone already angry? Or she said it before getting angry? , the phrase in itself, sounds condescending to me.

chaircover:
Buky I have indirectly answered your question but since you want it in black and white here goes . .

No - I will not mind for someone who I have let sleep in my home goes into my kitchen and cook if I have chosen not to get out of bed in the morning to see that my guests are fed and comfortable.

Yes – I will only go to sleep in homes where I am welcome, hence, will think nothing of rustling something up to eat in the morning or opening their fridge and getting a drink if I was thirsty and even washing plates in the sink if I saw any . . . . . . . and I don’t even mind cooking for the whole house while I am there.

The issue is that you should not be opening your door for or going to people’s houses that you are not familiar with or you have issues with in the first instance.

My fridge is in my kitchen and when guests come, rather than this tray and glass malarkey I prefer to tell my guests to open the fridge and take whatever they want.

I will only go to sleep in homes where I am welcome

bukatyne:
There is no need for the bolded neither is there any need to be riled up

We all have different things that matter to us...

I would never cook in unknown person's kitchen uninvited; I would not take lightly same done to me

That said,

My guests are always treated properly and pampered; ensure they are comfortable and cozy (if PHCN does not spoil show)
My hosts always want me to come back; who would not mind freshly made beds, cleaned up bathrooms, swept living rooms and gratitude.

That's bukatyne

LordReed:
When a person does something wrong it is not unreasonable to find the person wronged getting angry, we cannot fault madam for getting angry, her home her rules. She was full of prejudice and anger in her question so chic decides to be saucy back like two wrongs make a right yeah? Makes no attempt to pacify or douse situation and takes off in a huff and you don't think chic has an attitude problem?

Chillisauce:
this is our nigerian madam. waiting for her guest to enter the kitchen
https://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/27/2740/ENSND00Z/posters/lion-sleeping-at-whipsnade-zoo-asleep-one-eye-open-march-1959.jpg

edwife:
Every action has consequences....

All the party involved in this scenario are bush people.....

1) Mr visitor from abroad,whenever you are invited to someone's house please notify the host that you will be bringing an extra luggage.They only prepared for you.Obvioulsly his stay abroad was a waste! Next time cassidy go to a hotel!

2)Miss girfriend,next time read body language....there is no way you did not see something odd about MADAM,when someone is unfriendly you just know it,for the fact that you guys were not acquainted you should have stayed the hell out of her kitchen....

3) Madam,you are one low-self esteem lady with this nasty attitude of judging people before knowing them.You need to work on yourself,you being married does not make you any better than anyone out there.Being nice and courteous does not cost much....
why you mad?

4)Sir,next time stand by your madam....as your friend did-do teach your woman some notion of being a good host and self-esteem...

bukatyne:
Please ladies, honest yes or no answers to these two questions below:

1. If you and hubby went to one of hubby's friend house whom you have never met, will you enter their kitchen the next morning making breakfast without hubby's friend's wife giving you permission?

2. If hubby invited a friend (known to you) who brings along a lady, would you like if this lady (not known to you) wakes up the next morning and jumps into your kitchen without you permitting/inviting her to do so?


I go first

1. No
2. No

O ya start...

aisha2:
Wonderful of you. However know your rules and how you live is different from how the next person lives. Am lazy and I have a 7-5 househelp. After 5pm everyone is on their own, it works for me as your method of petting guests work for you.
Riled up yes, when you type some things you dont get to determine how people respond to them. First you said no right thinking Nigerian would act like that, I corrected you, then you turned to Yorubas and Chaircover tried to correct that and you went on her about being not fully Yoruba because she lives abroad, next you come and tag people who don't act the way you approve ill mannered. If you don't know all these three instances you were OFFENSIVE and what is more offensive now is you thinking you can tell me how to respond to more offensive comments you made.

You are a wonderful guest and a wonderful host in your book, and I respect that, also respect my choice to be the kind of guest and kind of host I want to be without further offensive remarks about tribe or nationality or even manners. Thank you

aisha2:
If all of you have seen his peni-s you are all EQUAL in the eyes of the balls. ( forgive my french)

cococandy:
first question. No

Second question, there's won't be such a scenario because I will tell her it is ok to use it the moment she gets into the house

ileobatojo:
.

No way. The girl is a saint and madam is a demon.

And every female on this thread will walk into a stranger's kitchen (one that's apparently been giving them attitude no less) the next morning and start cooking uninvited.

bukatyne:
I doubt I have told anyone how to behave in this thread; infact, I, Damiso and LordReed seem to go against the mainstream of this thread.

If I come to your house and tell me ... 'I have free to use the kitchen', I will thank you and use the kitchen
If you don't, I will wait till you offer me breakfast.

Have a great day

cococandy:
chilli

Chillisauce:
Yes dear

Can the queen help ?

bukatyne:
Coco,

Thanks

That has been our point; you do not cook in someone's kitchen TILL they give you the permission to do so.

imoleay0:
I just read this, what do you guys think?

"My husband had called me that his friend who lives in Europe came back and will be spending the weekend with us before he goes to visit his family. My baby was 7 months old then.
I hurriedly prepared something for him. At
10PM that day, he arrived but with a young girl whom he introduced as his girlfriend. The girl just looked at me with this stern look that looks like "how can I be greeting this small girl? I'm older than her". I ignored her and served them food.

The attitude of the girl in my own home was just so annoying but I figured since she's gonna be here for a while, I might as well endure her.

The next morning, I was still in bed when I heard some noise in the kitchen. I went to check and behold a stranger preparing fried egg in my kitchen.

WTF!!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. To make matters worse, she was so dressed indecently in my home. I summoned courage to ask what she was doing in my kitchen! She should hav e waited for the hostess (myself) to prepare whatever she will be eating. I got angry. Then she throw these words at me, 'I don't blame u. I blame Cassidy who refused we lodge in a
hotel'. Before I could say 'jack' she and my husband's friend packed their things and left the house.

This Brought a slight misunderstanding between my husband and I as my husband said I should have ignored her for his friend's sake. He also demanded I appologize to the girl and also his friend. I agreed to apologize to the friend but never his girlfriend. I got to understand that the girl is just his bedmate but to the girl, she thought she was the "everything". I made peace with my husband by apologizing to his friend.

If you were in my shoes, would you have kept quiet seeing a stranger in your kitchen? Even after she disrespected you? What would have been ur reaction? Did I do wrong by reacting?"

moca:
Abeg, aisha and buky, it's ok pls.
We shouldn't take this serious.
I never did.
Was just having fun.
Tot that was what everybody was doing too
It hv do abeg

cococandy:
not because it is bad manners actually (in my opinion) but simply because I don't know how they will react seeing as it means a lot to some folks.

aisha2:
Oh yes you have. You have said anyone who behaves like that is not a right thinking Nigerian, you have also said they are not real Yorubas then the last one is that its ill mannered people. Yes you have, and if I get riled up and respond accordingly its my right to do so.

Its a simple point you don't make the rules for everyone and add negative tags to those who don't follow your rules. Leave LordReed and Damiso out of this they didn't go generalising and tagging people you did

LordReed:
When a person does something wrong it is not unreasonable to find the person wronged getting angry, we cannot fault madam for getting angry, her home her rules. She was full of prejudice and anger in her question so chic decides to be saucy back like two wrongs make a right yeah? Makes no attempt to pacify or douse situation and takes off in a huff and you don't think chic has an attitude problem?