₦airaland Forum

Eladua:
Can such prayer work? Btw i am the first to like ur pic *winks*

lol.....thanks anyway, just joined 2day

miccheck58:
Sorry. Your wife is pounding yam outside, hence the tiredness at home. You know yam - pounding drains the energy especially when the pestle is heavy and the yam is rocky.... #OkBye

Huehuehuehue. hold my bottle leme closs the mainload

If work, children, worry, finances, is wearing her out, it may be difficult for your wife to find the mental and physical energy to connect with you sexually, even if she wants to. It may be harder for her to put down those worries than it is for you.

Your part: at a time when she can listen, let your wife know how much you miss intimacy with her. Creatively find a way to relieve some of her burden: take over some of her “chores” temporarily. pre-intimacy doesn’t start when you crawl into bed at night: it starts with all the little things you do and say all day. A woman needs to feel desired, thought about, cherished, and cared for. She will sense if you only want her body, or if you truly care about HER. And caring for her unselfishly is no more than God asks of you. (Eph. 5:25)

Your part: Stretch yourself and find a way to romance your wife. You were creative when you dated her: do it again! I bet you’ll be surprised at her response.

miccheck58:
Sorry. Your wife is pounding yam outside, hence the tiredness at home. You know yam - pounding drains the energy especially when the pestle is heavy and the yam is rocky.... #OkBye

Lwkmd. Nairaland sha.. characters full here

sorry OP....since she no dey open any day wey she open nark all the one wey u Neva nark and even plus the one wey u no go nark in the future



jus take DAT once in a blue moon chance with all ur might...finish!!!

GreenWhiteGreen:
Why do Nigerians lie so much like this ? In your write up, you said your friend is VERY RELIGIOUS. So how can a religious person be sex starved ? Truth is you are too canal minded, not religious as you think you are. There are more things to derive joy from than sex.

Because you are spiritual doesn't mean you are always operating in the spirit 24/7 spiritual people need to have conversation, eat, sleep, sex, exercise etc these are all basic needs that the body derives joy in. If a carnal man can be hungry for food same goes for a spiritual man, this goes for all other basic physical needs.

Eladua:
Can such prayer work? Btw i am the first to like ur pic *winks*

It is in line with God's will so it will get answered. However the element of 'work' to be done should not be left out. I will repeat a piece I once dropped on a similar issue.

sheddyboy:
STRICTLY FOR MATURED MINDS
PLEASE (NO INSULTS)
Please i need matured advise...

My name is mrs Ola, you are free to post my story with my name on it, because i want my husband to read it and the comments that will follow it. I got married 4years ago,@ age 27 as a virgin, while my husband was 31, but now 35yrs old. Our marriage is blessed with a baby girl of 2 and half yrs old.

The problem i am about to share is sometin that is killing me gradually.
...

Dear Mrs Ola, I am glad you are on a path of betterment of your marriage's sexual health rather than contemplating an extra-marital affair. I hope you would make your husband see reason with some advice I would be putting up here. Money and Sex issues and not even lack of love top the reasons marriages fail followed third by decisions on children.

Sex in marriage is a fundamental duty of both partners in marriage to one another and as the almighty has put it a force of bonding as such that the great apostle paul mentioned that it could make a man soul clung to a prostitute. Why not have let that soul-tie exist within a holy matrimony. For Mrs Ola to have joined the #notamperingtillmarried I really commend her and I say do not be discouraged by the disapointment of low sex explosion you have always believed in while still holding out.

Operation Seduce Mr Ola

An appropriate solution is needed for a properly identified problem cause.

Case 1: Mr Ola Really Believes Sexual Contact Is A Sin

Forgive us for this sin we are about to commit (Seriously some do this!)

1Co 7:1 Now, to deal with the matters you wrote about. A man does well not to marry.
1Co 7:2 But because there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband.
1Co 7:3 A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs.
1Co 7:4 A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is.
1Co 7:5 Do not deny yourselves to each other, unless you first agree to do so for a while in order to spend your time in prayer; but then resume normal marital relations. In this way you will be kept from giving in to Satan's temptation because of your lack of self-control.

- Good News Bible

You guys are married and hence should fulfil each other's sexual needs which paul calls normal marriage relations. If it was just for kids modern science can get the sperm and egg lab built to produce a baby but as a deterrent to immorality paul recommended marriage and as being human it is an appetite like food that needs to be met hence the hunger for it every once in a while.

Playing the "You have a Jezebel spirit card" is wrong as having sex regularly is normal.

How regular? I remember a thread https://www.nairaland.com/2070153/sex-marriage-pastor-taiwo-odukoya by lalasticlala where it was mentioned that lack of enough sex in marriage can have grievous consequences. A 2-3 times per week is on the average. Some go like once a week and some more for like once or twice per day (guess they have no need chasing money to have that amount of time - why rich people have better sex).

Rather the prayer point should be for Mr Ola to have a higher sex drive and over time a threshold would be reached for the two of you in between.

Case 2: Physical Trauma

a: Lack of body stamina to carry through the process hence leaving him well spent and stressed out.
Let him have revitalizers to regain back his strenght. Don't forget lots of milk

b: Abbrasions from friction causing soreness
Usually a woman's complaint which can be phased out with proper lubrication. Prior to sex, Mrs Ola should consume lots of waterlike an hour or so for the body to produce lubricating fluid required for sex and with good pre-intimacy, the vagina should produce abundant. Some women however still cannot produce adequately (no two people are the same anyways) enough or some other reason or just to play safe, secondary lubricants can be used. E.g your local chemist should have Lubrica or KY Jelly. Our ever popular olive oil like Goya used by church goers as anointing oil is cheaply available and perfectly safe - probably your most common choice (Lubricate the penis shaft). Oil or oil-based lubricants however break latex condoms so keep note to check the contents and switch to water-based lubricants if you are to use a latex condom.

Case 3: Psycological Trauma

Was Mr Ola abused as a kid, did he see something in the past that put him off? You need to have a heart tete-a-tete with him and let him pour out his soul to you.

Alternatively: You Can Masturbate Yourself To Climax

Nowhere in the bible is masturbation called a sin. The misleading is caused by what some call the sin of Onan

Gen 38:8 And Judah said to Onan, Go in to your brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to your brother.
Gen 38:9 And Onan knew that the seed would not be his. And it happened when he went in to his brother's wife, t[b]hat he spilled on the ground, not giving seed to his brother[/b].
Gen 38:10 And what he did was evil in the eyes of Jehovah. Therefore He killed him also.
- Good News Bible

Onan was killed by God for having sex with his late brother's wife whom he married yet did not want to give her kids in the name of his brother. Just to chop and clean mouth. The semen he spilled on the ground at the time of ejaculation.

Who else is being killed for not giving his brother's wife kids? However if we are to make use of Jesus' defination of immorality

Mat 5:27 You have heard that it was said to the ancients, "You shall not commit adultery."
Mat 5:28 But I say to you that whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
- Good News Bible

it would not apply as immorality to you if the one you sexually affix your attention to is your spouse. This is not a case of wanking off to a picture of some other person in a mag or whatever. (Which in a way means singles should steer clear off masturbating as usually your desire is affixed to someone you are not married to - no technical twisting)

I would paint another picture here. Usually men stroke their John Thomas once in a while to make it stand erect before penetration or woman to get lubricated. What do we call that. Still arguing that it is okay because they are in the process of having sex? What if one party is a little distance away say at the end of the bed, 5 metres away, just stepped into the next room for a brief moment to shush the baby, in the shower, next house, next town. Now you probably have been using distance as a yardstick to measure morality. A rule not laid down in the bible. The main aim is to keep all your sexual desire to only your spouse and not burden/enslave yourself with hearsay nonexistent commandments.

Act 15:1 And certain ones who came down from Judea taught the brothers, saying, Unless you are circumcised according to the custom of Moses, you cannot be saved.
Act 15:2 Therefore dissension and not a little disputation occurring by Paul and Barnabas, they appointed Paul and Barnabas and certain others of them to go up to Jerusalem to the apostles and elders about this question.
Act 15:9 And He put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith.
Act 15:10 Now therefore why do you tempt God by putting a yoke on the neck of the disciples, a yoke which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear?
Act 15:24 Because we have heard that certain ones who went out from us have troubled you with words, unsettling your souls, saying, Be circumcised and keep the law! (to whom we gave no such command);
Act 15:29 that you abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication; from which, if you keep yourselves, you shall do well. Be prospered.
Act 15:31 And when they had read it, they rejoiced at the comfort.
- Good News Bible

In this case of the converted gentiles, it was settled by them keeping away from idolatry and fornication. Finito.

In Conclusion

I hope your marriage lasts throughout your entire lives and there would be no need to call it quits. Prayer does move mountains and Mr Ola needs to wake up to his manly responsibilities quick. One point or the other he would see reason and Mrs Ola do be gentle with him.

Wishing you well - Teemy

fyneboi79:
But seriously,any man who relies solely on his wife for sexual pleasures will never be near happy especially if he has a higher libido.That's why I respect myself and will stay out of that institution cos I can't fit to beg for sex For me sex is a call away whenever,where ever. No time for shakara

Even begging for sex kills my libido, no matter how beautiful or 'new' the girl is, not to talk of a wife at home... It's crucial to have several alternatives at any given point in time.

Misogynist2014:
Take a second wife.

Perfect response...

5minsmadness:
Lol!

The truth of the matter is,
A woman's libido can never be the same as the average man! Men's sex urge are way higher than most of the ladies around here. To find a woman with equal or higher libido are hard to find.

Marriage entails sacrifice! The man should not expect the woman to have sex with jim everyday. He should discuss with her so they can have a kind of timetable- yes am serious! They can discuss to have it 3times a week. The man should learn self control too as part of his sacrifice in being in the marriage and also help the woman in a few of the house chores. Then she'll be more likely to give it up more often!

timetable for sex? and I thought I've heard it all..

teemy:
I beg to disagree.
Sexual union on a regular basis is the bible's rate of action. In yoruba - loore koore (regularly). As we feed our hunger appetite s should our sexual appetited be fed. God made both so.

1Co 7:5 Do not deny yourselves to each other, unless you first agree to do so for a while in order to spend your time in prayer; but then resume normal marital relations. In this way you will be kept from giving in to Satan's temptation because of your lack of self-control.

1Co 7:1 Now, concerning the things that you wrote about: It's good for men not to get married.
1Co 7:2 But in order to avoid sexual sins, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
1Co 7:9 However, if you cannot control your desires, you should get married. It is better for you to marry than to burn with sexual desire.

The man has accepted his own weakness and put himself under the umbrella God has given him to express himself in a sinless union. The wife is the one that needs more encouragement.

Good point sir.
See as you and ya wife resemble

tell Ur friend that he isn't touching her right. he should learn about romance. he has made sex so ordinary hence the lady has lost interest.

Relieve her of some house chores.Get her in the mood during the day by assisting her in the kitchen n other chores. Sit her down n tell her the implication of her action if she refuses to change. GF n divorce are not d solutn cos the consequence is grave!

I would simply rape her

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u said he confided in u yet u still brought it 2 nairaland. R u a tatafo?If u lik u settle down if u no like u settle up. It change nothing. E-amebo

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Let him go outside and have sex naaa. See problem ohhh. Case solved. I love myself oh.

pentag0nal:
I am planning to settle down soon. I have a very close friend who is a handsome guy and very nice and caring. he is married and from all I see, he is having a good marriage. He confided in me recently that the major problem he is having with his wife is that almost every night when he approaches her for sex, she would say that she is so tired and had a stressful day.

This my friend is a very religious guy and does not want to cheat on his wife because of the fear of God. The problem now is that he is so sex starved and at the point of getting a girl friend.

Please house, what advise do you have for this guy and many good men that find themselves in such a situation. You don't want to cheat on your wife but she continues to deny you sex with excuses. How do you cope knowing fully well that your body is yearning for this thing and you need it.

WHY DID U SHARED ANOTHER GUY'S STORY HERE?
THAT GUY DONK KNOW NAIRALAND TO COME & SHARE IT WITH HIMSELF?.
IF U WERE REALLY A WOMAN, I GUESS U ARE THE "WIFE" MENTIONED IN THIS STORY. NEXT TYM, TEL THAT GUY TO COME& SHARE HIS PROBLEM S WITH NAIRALAND NOT TO SEND SOME ONE ELSE

Result of 'No sex before marriage'.Now it has turned to 'No sex during marriage'.I have said it over and over again,i will never do a no-sex relationship.Insult me all you can.

It is either the guy has not been dropping money at home for upkeep regularly or he is not manly enough to satisfy her.. As for the woman it could be that she is one of those real professionals, that value their job than anything or she could be having it better outside than inside, i mean she enjoys intimacy outside,hence give such an excuse.

GreenWhiteGreen:
Why do Nigerians lie so much like this ? In your write up, you said your friend is VERY RELIGIOUS. So how can a religious person be sex starved ? Truth is you are too canal minded, not religious as you think you are. There are more things to derive joy from than sex.

wtf?

seangy4konji:
Oma ga oooo...

End time wives...

Make am understand oo make you legooo...

If you go knack outside na she go first tell everybody say u be cheater...

Did she think all she came to do is cook,clean the house and work?

some women no gree collect better home training before them do husbands house.

miccheck58:
Sorry. Your wife is pounding yam outside, hence the tiredness at home. You know yam - pounding drains the energy especially when the pestle is heavy and the yam is rocky.... #OkBye

u b omo ale jati jati....

Stop asking for sex. This is difficult though, so you need a girlfriend to help out.

If you are a faithful one, you are not doing the "thing" right most likely. Go get some experience, outside of course.

hedonistic:
Even begging for sex kills my libido, no matter how beautiful or 'new' the girl is, not to talk of a wife at home... It's crucial to have several alternatives at any given point in time.

Na d surest way be dat o. Na dem go dey beg u sef once dey notice u don't even bother them for sex. They will sit up knowing they have a competitor. Trust women they like competition Even if she is ur one and only,don't make her too comfortable....keep her guessing

asuoka:
u b omo ale jati jati....

LOL

Lolzzzzz... I go treat you well jhooooor


Wait till tomorrow nah before I go give you or perfume abi nah so ur blood dey hot

danbrowndmf:
pinkycute if i marry u na so u go do me for night?.




by the way,werz ma perfume!

Send her to her parents..tell her you cannot sleep on the same bed with a woman and she keeps acting up.

After one month, her eyes will open.

Akanbiedu:
LOL

that post na nice one...many guys go dey fear nw even me sef pistel bah

The true side of is that ,d woman have male friends

pentag0nal:
This is not the first time I will be hearing something like this, women in the house, we need you to explain to us here. Why is it that you don't want your man to cheat on you but you continue to deny him action?

. The guy may not
be good in sex,boring,small penis or over stays..most importantly loveless marriage...if the excuses are persistent..one or more of this could be the cause.

girl4rmspace:
lol.....thanks anyway, just joined 2day

Yea i noticed that, tried sending u a PM, bt wasn't going.