jnrbayano:




Your comment is filled with more questions than answers.

Ewuro4:


how?

Putting someone else's need ahead of mine.

Not easy.

Pleasant Surprise: I'm FREE and make my own RULES.

jnrbayano:




The bold doesn't connect.

Ewuro4:


Answers to your 2 questions ...

Awful surprises : Putting someone else's (family) need ahead of mine.

Pleasant surprise: Independence

How's that a rocket science

mutter:
That the choice of a partner is probably thee most important decision you might make in your life.

That patience and tolerance are the main ingredient that have to be cooked in love and respect.

ifyalways:
Lolx. You and your colleagues eee. No boring moment.

It is more important to be happy than to be right. . .
Marriage taught me that.Fvck being morally,religiously correct/right, whatever makes me happy,I hold tight.

jnrbayano:


You didn't answer the Op. The Op seeks to be educated on those surprises that are evident in marriage which weren't noticed during pre-marital period.

cococandy:

Not on nairaland bro.
If you don't have a sob story to tell,you're not really married or at best pretending to be happy.

I tried that once it backfired.
Got plenty of evil wishes that day.
I no do again.

Let Everybody learn from their own experience. Whether good or bad.

Gloriagee:


It is my role to be his help meet not to take care of him. Listening to some guys talk bout getting married sounds like their would be wife's job description involves being a cook, washer woman n still sexual partner...in other words, taking care of 'him'.

I'm just imagining two tired people coming back from church, where kindness n empathy are being taught. One switches on super sports n is lounging waiting for his carer to serve him dinner, while the other starts cooking indomie n in between switches to eba.

What stops him from helping out? Nothing major? I'm assuming the woman has to work, wake up early to beat Lagos traffic n still contribute to the household purse.

kristonium:
I had always thought that marriage will reduce my sexual urge!
Alas brothers and sisters I was wrong!

Gloriagee:
@ ideapro- I'm lost...why is it the woman's role to automatically fix dinner? Both of u got back from church by 8pm probably after work, y can't u lend a helping hand, say like microwave the soup. If u were anywhere near the kitchen, u would have been aware of the fantastic noodles dish she was making or the challenges she was facing with the soup.

I know I prefer company in the kitchen while cooking so can't really muster much sympathy for u.

bukatyne:


Very true

Lots of people are frustrated because they are trying to do it the way it 'should' be done.

scribble:




As much as I can cook and once in a while make dinner or a meal for my wife


She has been conditioned from young to be a cook for her man

she makes such excellent food for me that I go out of my way to really spoil her and I'm not interested in any other woman's cooking


Leave that feminist rule book nonsense and find a good African man to enjoy


Or are you seeing white people in enduring relationship these days

A word my dear

Kachisbarbie:


That's all @emboldened.
Even if there are hitches - of course there are bad days...we learn from them and move on.

I wonder why they don't believe in the marital institution. Gets me wondering if their parents are unhappy too.

cococandy:


Fine girl. Nice hair

# Totally off topic

very off topic o nne.
Thanks, it's just normal braids - packed it up.
You fine pass sha.

KanwuliaJara:
It is more BORRRRRRRRING than being locked up in GUANTANAMO!
Your SOUL-MATE is always outside the marriage!

kmcutez:


Exactly what I thought when I read his story. I'm like what a selfish husband.

personal59:

Pls wats d meaning of dat statement "ur soul-mate is always outside d marriage"

KanwuliaJara:


Because it is a fact!
We celebrate FREEDOM when we get divorced!
I live in a PRISON. . . called marriage.
I can't wait for a divorce!

See what 2 of my co-workers celebrated this week?

I thought they just graduated from one graduate school o . . . Come to find out say na DIVORCE we dey go celebrate!!!
MUCHECHECHECHEHECHE!!!!

Biko, after your divorce feel free to fix yourself into one of the above categories

KanwuliaJara:
It is more BORRRRRRRRING than being locked up in GUANTANAMO!
Your SOUL-MATE is always outside the marriage!

jnrbayano:


I'm unmarried still

Eluwilussit:


There's no advice that can help you or anyone else. Each marriage is very unique. There's no marriage formula. Experience is the best teacher here.

There are some normal everyday principles that can help. This is how I live mine.

1) live one day at a time.
2) don't Rush your actions when pissed.
3) forgive always.
4) fight fair. Don't say too much when angry. If possible, shut up.
5) always remember why you married your spouse.
6) avoid blames.
7) apologize when in the wrong. Men are never in the wrong. Are they?
be willing to share fuckups.
9) learn to give freely and expect nothing in return.
10) this is the most important to me: trust God for your spouse. Pray for your spouse every day.

obowunmi:
Pray before you marry.

Marry wrongly and it will cost you your health.

IDEApro:
Marriage can be very sweet and interesting if you'd use your wisdom and can be very frustrating if you're insensitive and immature

Let me share...

I and wify(sic) came back from a church programme 8pm on Tuesday. She asked If I will join her in the indomie noodle she was preparing for dinner and I said No that I desired swallow. Something to fill the stomach properly cos there is this delicious oha soup she prepared the previous day. Honestly, I wish and scheme to finish all the liver,towel and other orishirishi used to prepare it. They were so fresh...

Few minutes later, my EBA and oha soup were served and my expectations grew into anger...this woman don serve me water soup... I look across to her doing justice to her well prepared garnished indomie...(oh men, that indomie tight...green pea, carrot, egg, lettuce) and shouted in frustration: ''Why is this soup watery, am I a prisoner?

Being angry that she is having a better dinner, I raised my displeasure to the power of X5. She explained that the soup I have is the amount she could scoop from the blocked quantity and that she complimented it with water. See me see more anger...I abandoned the food and hit the bed in annoyance. This time it was a mind game. The more she beg to prepare another one the more I cunningly form ''James bond'' and slept off afterwards without eating.

Next morning, after preparing to go out I ask for fried plantain and pap, she said whatever I need I should go get it myself (hangover from lastnight) and I replied; ''since you have decided to starve me, don't shout harder to me any other night again cos I don't wanna faint'' and smiled. I guess she stole a smile, went into the room, got dressed and came out requesting I assist her with money to go see a friend. Women! I quickly dip hand into pocket and handed her a thousand naira bill and she left with just saying thank you.


I was at a lost whether to get angry again or smile off our foolishness when she came right back in with bunch of plantain then I knew my breakfast is guaranteed.
Afterwards she ask me to apologize for rejecting her food the previous night which I did and she became happy.

Umunwayi....God perfect gift.