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Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by redcliff: 7:47pm On Feb 18, 2015
This ur writeup is peppering my eyes.. therefore i stopped reading.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by Nobody: 7:51pm On Feb 18, 2015
Kachisbarbie:
hahahaha
Nairalanders are so allergic to long post(s).

Y'all be missing a lot o



Troublesome girl.
I know you didn't even try to read it...lol @grammar/online friendship
Ok,am determined to do the reading,even tho it wouldn't be easy....But i have to eat 1st,to enable me the strength.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by Psalmwise(m): 7:53pm On Feb 18, 2015
Kachisbarbie:
Welcome!
 
Welcome, to our year of light, of continuity, of amazing blazing glory.
Things can only get better.
 
 
Have you ever been in that position where it felt like you have found that one person who means much more than a lot to you?
 
Have you ever thought of yourself as "in love?"
Like there couldn't possibly be anywhere you'd wanna be in the universe except in the arms of your loved one?
He spoils you silly with love and you feel like, before you, after you, beyond you, nothing else matters, just you.
 
And then all of a sudden --- you find yourself soliloquizing in the lines below;
 
How does a person love up on someone so much only for them to give you the cold treatment just after you decide to love them back, perhaps even more than they showed you? 
 
How can someone who had all the time in the world for you suddenly become busy and unlovely and unloveable?
 
Somehow, you know the individual doesn't despise you, but as is obvious, their action(s) doesn't quite measure up.

 
Now, there are two things involved here:-
 
Either that person has become plain disinterested in you and is actually giving you the green light to move on with your life 
 
Or 
 
Maybe, just maybe, it's about time you pursued them too; maybe it's time you loved up on them - more.
 
So, I want to make a proposal; as we all know --- life is a teacher, like Jim Palmer would say - "there's twice as much we don't know, than we do know". 
Granted, I'm yet to get past my confuzzlement on why the male folk especially, lead ladies on to a certain extent only to turn them into bundles of insecurity, all the same:- 
 
My proposal goes thus:-
 
- I'd like for us to re-adjust our definition of love.

- Let's operate from this base of understanding that beyond the frills and thrills, underlying and over the top excitement; Love Is A Decision.

- It's about time we turned on our humanity towards our partner.
 
Loving and our emotions are something else, simply out of this world. I've heard people reduce love to chemical equations and mere release of hormones into the human brain and all I literally do is just shake my head.
Some, have even tried to calculate love by overly using their brain, in a bid to avoid being friendzoned  or outrightly fooled.
In my sojourn though, I've found that you'll fall for whom you'll fall for and you'll get bored if you'll get bored.
 
We could do without overly mathematicalizing love.

Ultimately, we ought to be proactive. 
When the boredom comes; owh trust me, it will.
When the attraction becomes less; When there's absolutely little or nothing to talk about; 
What measures do we take to spark it all up again?
This would normally require us going beyond ourselves, and ego, maybe. But with the right person, it's worth it, I think.
If he doesn't call you as usual, call him.
If he fails to say I love you and those sweet nothings you like to hear, say it to him.
If he doesn't ask about your loved ones, your family, your career and your circumstances, ask about his.
If he doesn't buy you those thoughtful gifts anymore like he used to, please go out of your way and get some for him.
 
If you really love that guy AND YOU THINK HE IS WORTH IT, despite his below par performance, love up on your man, love him, not because you are desperate - no, no; not as a means to manipulate him into doing your biddings [i] mbanu (no),[/i]let your actions towards him flow from a pure heart, as much as you can, give your best into the relationship without expecting so much.
 
 
"But Adannaya, what if he doesn't reciprocate, what if I genuinely get tired and I just need to break it off with him"
 
^^^ Always follow your heart, be sure you're being guided by your inner light --- by that feeling that's real, deep inside you.
 
Remember, patience is a virtue and there's really nothing like certainty in a relationship that is built to last.
 
Perhaps, one of the greatest lessons we can learn during this season, as we usher in the New Year is that, Giving is the best form of receiving.


To the guys reading this, a friend shared this text with me as shared by Kanye West via his twitter account --- you might be inspired smiley
 
[/b]
 
To our dear readers;

If you're inspired by this write up, please share with your friends, and as always, your comments are most welcome smiley
 

http://mizmycolimusings..com/2015/01/ladies-before-you-finally-give-up-on.html
share ke...dis tin blik article wey dem dey write for punch news paper...ow persn wan patienct read all dis...cos i knw say 80% of d people wey dey dis thread no go read wetin u write bfor dm comment thier comment.....even the ladies dat its meant for would have already broken up befor dem read dis ur article finish...



Shuo...i doff hat ooo

Tags logoDwhiz,buoye1, make una cum read wetin ur gf dey plan for una ooo
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by gentleaccess: 7:55pm On Feb 18, 2015
do you live within the shores of Benin City and want to learn musical instrument, then you should visit ReHearsal House Nigeria

Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by wemmieslim(f): 8:03pm On Feb 18, 2015
Very nice write up but need someone to summarise it for me...,I have phobia for long epistle :-
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by ireneony(f): 8:04pm On Feb 18, 2015
chimerase2:
Had to go tru de blog

Such a nice and wonderful blog unlike oda blog, whosoever is behind it should keep it up
check my blog out, you will be amazed
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by rettashine2812(f): 8:05pm On Feb 18, 2015
Well noted
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by InZA: 8:09pm On Feb 18, 2015
1000000000Likes to MizMyColi for this amazing post.

The post does not say you should hold on aimlessly to a relationship that has completely lost its "zing".. What the post is suggesting that, as with every other thing in life, there are peaks and depressions, highs and lows....and a relationship is not exempt - in times like this when you know that you've not done anything tangible to feed the "low ebb" your relationship is experiencing , it's your duty to, instead of walking away.... Hold on and do everything possible to reignite the passion that you guys once shared


If there's any thing worth remembering in this post... It is that - LOVE IS A DECISION and it's unfortunate that many relationships nowadays don't have that conscious love decision as their foundation.


Love trumps emotions, butterflies in the stomach feeling and all those other shiii. Love is a conscious decision to love this person no matter what till maybe they openly come out and tell you-Don't love me anymore.


The fact of the matter.... Some people will never experience true love... simply because they can't give it.... you can only get what you're ready to give and if all you have to give is a type of love that's only based on emotions and sweet feelings, then true love will continue to elude you.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by qabieu2: 8:18pm On Feb 18, 2015
[color=#990000][/color]
Kachisbarbie:
Welcome!
 
Welcome, to our year of light, of continuity, of amazing blazing glory.
Things can only get better.
 
 
Have you ever been in that position where it felt like you have found that one person who means much more than a lot to you?
 
Have you ever thought of yourself as "in love?"
Like there couldn't possibly be anywhere you'd wanna be in the universe except in the arms of your loved one?
He spoils you silly with love and you feel like, before you, after you, beyond you, nothing else matters, just you.
 
And then all of a sudden --- you find yourself soliloquizing in the lines below;
 
How does a person love up on someone so much only for them to give you the cold treatment just after you decide to love them back, perhaps even more than they showed you? 
 
How can someone who had all the time in the world for you suddenly become busy and unlovely and unloveable?
 
Somehow, you know the individual doesn't despise you, but as is obvious, their action(s) doesn't quite measure up.

 
Now, there are two things involved here:-
 
Either that person has become plain disinterested in you and is actually giving you the green light to move on with your life 
 
Or 
 
Maybe, just maybe, it's about time you pursued them too; maybe it's time you loved up on them - more.
 
So, I want to make a proposal; as we all know --- life is a teacher, like Jim Palmer would say - "there's twice as much we don't know, than we do know". 
Granted, I'm yet to get past my confuzzlement on why the male folk especially, lead ladies on to a certain extent only to turn them into bundles of insecurity, all the same:- 
 
My proposal goes thus:-
 
- I'd like for us to re-adjust our definition of love.

- Let's operate from this base of understanding that beyond the frills and thrills, underlying and over the top excitement; Love Is A Decision.

- It's about time we turned on our humanity towards our partner.
 
Loving and our emotions are something else, simply out of this world. I've heard people reduce love to chemical equations and mere release of hormones into the human brain and all I literally do is just shake my head.
Some, have even tried to calculate love by overly using their brain, in a bid to avoid being friendzoned  or outrightly fooled.
In my sojourn though, I've found that you'll fall for whom you'll fall for and you'll get bored if you'll get bored.
 
We could do without overly mathematicalizing love.

Ultimately, we ought to be proactive. 
When the boredom comes; owh trust me, it will.
When the attraction becomes less; When there's absolutely little or nothing to talk about; 
What measures do we take to spark it all up again?
This would normally require us going beyond ourselves, and ego, maybe. But with the right person, it's worth it, I think.
If he doesn't call you as usual, call him.
If he fails to say I love you and those sweet nothings you like to hear, say it to him.
If he doesn't ask about your loved ones, your family, your career and your circumstances, ask about his.
If he doesn't buy you those thoughtful gifts anymore like he used to, please go out of your way and get some for him.
 
If you really love that guy AND YOU THINK HE IS WORTH IT, despite his below par performance, love up on your man, love him, not because you are desperate - no, no; not as a means to manipulate him into doing your biddings [i] mbanu (no),[/i]let your actions towards him flow from a pure heart, as much as you can, give your best into the relationship without expecting so much.
 
 
"But Adannaya, what if he doesn't reciprocate, what if I genuinely get tired and I just need to break it off with him"
 
^^^ Always follow your heart, be sure you're being guided by your inner light --- by that feeling that's real, deep inside you.
 
Remember, patience is a virtue and there's really nothing like certainty in a relationship that is built to last.
 
Perhaps, one of the greatest lessons we can learn during this season, as we usher in the New Year is that, Giving is the best form of receiving.


To the guys reading this, a friend shared this text with me as shared by Kanye West via his twitter account --- you might be inspired smiley
 
[/b]
 
To our dear readers;

If you're inspired by this write up, please share with your friends, and as always, your comments are most welcome smiley
 

http://mizmycolimusings..com/2015/01/ladies-before-you-finally-give-up-on.html
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by chimerase2: 8:25pm On Feb 18, 2015
ireneony:
check my blog out, you will be amazed
I did
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by Decryptor(m): 8:31pm On Feb 18, 2015
[quote author= Kachisbarbie]“Sometimes, what a girl does is push the guy away to see if he’ll still come back to her to test how much he actually wants to be with her. So be the guy who will call her back when she hangs up on you out of frustration. Be the guy who will chase after her when she walks away from you out of anger. Be the guy who will comfort her when she’s too stubborn to tell you what’s wrong. Be the guy to reassure her when she’s jealous that the other girl means nothing. Be the guy who will fight for her when she’s too afraid to stay in the relationship. Be the guy who will prove to her that she’s able to trust someone again. When she feels certain you’re the one, that’s when she’ll stop pushing.”[/quote]This is one thing I hate about most women! I will not and I repeat...I will not ever in my entire life beg and droll myself just to get a woman's love or even mere attention! I am worth much more than that...it is not pride. It is who I am!

As a matter of fact, a lady whom I took interest in last year in July and met for the first time the day before yesterday started having issues with me over the phone today for nothing sake and hung up on me. I just calmly sent her an sms that I would not want to have anything to do with a lady like her anymore. She kept calling my line since 6pm this evening and I finally decided to save my dear battery by picking she said she was only trying to test me. I simply and politely told her that she should not just consider me as someone who failed her so-called test, but as someone who had a missing script and did not take part in it after which I hung up!

Simply put...why would a woman want to push me away when in the first instance, I showed her love and respect? What point is she trying to make? This to me is the highest point of immaturity. Infact, any woman who does this is not trying to test my love...she only wants to find out how gullible I am in order to take advantage of that weakness (or stupidity as I would gladly put it) in the future.

The last time I checked...the population ratio of men to women is 1:6. Which means that a man has 5 fair chances to woo a woman after the first has failed. This statistic is a reason why time is not worth wasting on a sore loser who wants to keep "testing" men till she turns 57!

Modified.................

If Kanye West was truly the one who came up with this smelly ideology according to your post OP, then it's no surprise. We all know "what" he was truly after in Kim! His marraige to her was not purely based on true love but the quest to be the "man who finally conquered" a woman whose physical endowments are in high demand among Arabian Princes and also for the additional status it would give him in the society. He is a big butt lover just like me!
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by olympus121: 8:34pm On Feb 18, 2015
sauceny:
Can you kindly put it in summary,Nigerians are busy...





Thank You
If you want to hide anything from a Nigerian, put it inside a book because they won't bother opening it.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by Acidosis(m): 8:39pm On Feb 18, 2015
How can someone who had all the time in the world for you suddenly become busy and unlovely and unloveable?
@OP,

May be he got himself a job.

Only a jobless man will spend all the time in the world with a woman
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by akinsadeez(m): 8:45pm On Feb 18, 2015
wemmieslim:
Very nice write up but need someone to summarise it for me...,I have phobia for long epistle :-
Nairalanders sha gringrin grin grin How did you know that the write up is 'very nice' without reading it? cheesy
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by Psalmwise(m): 8:54pm On Feb 18, 2015
ThankGod we finally made front page.... cool cool
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by okonelfg(m): 8:55pm On Feb 18, 2015
oooooops feelin lazy to read,can someone explain
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by StunnazJay(m): 9:01pm On Feb 18, 2015
You know, you are really making sense. Many guys and girls go into relationships, thinking that that 'mushy-mushy-lovey- dovey' kind of 'love' during the early stages of the relationship would last forever.

But we all know it doesn't, and we are left disappointed.

Never realizing that it is a conscious effort to love. So I agree with the op, we choose to make a relationship work or break, when we realize that it is in our power to make it work. The relationship will not work itself.

Although, its always heady at the beginning of most relationships, at least the ones I've been through.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by anukulapo: 9:03pm On Feb 18, 2015
Kachisbarbie:
Have you ever been in that position where it felt like you have found that one person who means much more than a lot to you?
 

He spoils you silly with love and you feel like, before you, after you, beyond you, nothing else matters, just you.
 
And then all of a sudden --- you find yourself soliloquizing in the lines below;
 
How does a person love up on someone so much only for them to give you the cold treatment just after you decide to love them back, perhaps even more than they showed you? 
 
How can someone who had all the time in the world for you suddenly become busy and unlovely and unloveable?
 
Somehow, you know the individual doesn't despise you, but as is obvious, their action(s) doesn't quite measure up.

 
Now, there are two things involved here:-
 
Either that person has become plain disinterested in you and is actually giving you the green light to move on with your life 
 
Or 
 
Maybe, just maybe, it's about time you pursued them too; maybe it's time you loved up on them - more.
 
So, I want to make a proposal; as we all know --- life is a teacher, like Jim Palmer would say - "there's twice as much we don't know, than we do know". 
Granted, I'm yet to get past my confuzzlement on why the male folk especially, lead ladies on to a certain extent only to turn them into bundles of insecurity, all the same:- 
 
My proposal goes thus:-
 
- I'd like for us to re-adjust our definition of love.

- Let's operate from this base of understanding that beyond the frills and thrills, underlying and over the top excitement; Love Is A Decision.

- It's about time we turned on our humanity towards our partner.

 
If you really love that guy AND YOU THINK HE IS WORTH IT, despite his below par performance, love up on your man, love him, not because you are desperate - no, no; not as a means to manipulate him into doing your biddings [i] mbanu (no),[/i]let your actions towards him flow from a pure heart, as much as you can, give your best into the relationship without expecting so much.
In addition to your points, many ladies think that their role is to be the recipient of love and every other good things in a relationship thus they can't stand anything other than being a beneficiary and being chased. 

Kachisbarbie:
"But Adannaya, what if he doesn't reciprocate, what if I genuinely get tired and I just need to break it off with him"
To this,I'll say: if a lady thinks that she's worth a man's chase,he should be worth hers too.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by anukulapo: 9:15pm On Feb 18, 2015
Like this valentine wey just pass...

Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by veraiyke(m): 9:43pm On Feb 18, 2015
Nice write up. One can learn from it. As for m I long ago decided dat d girl I'll date n or evn go as far as makn love wit is my wife come rain come sun by God's grc. I'll kneel down n cry to save my relationship so long as I am convinced of her love n attitude to m n my love n attitude to her too.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by mileskiyo(m): 9:50pm On Feb 18, 2015
Kachisbarbie:
Welcome!
 
Welcome, to our year of light, of continuity, of amazing blazing glory.
Things can only get better.
 
 
Have you ever been in that position where it felt like you have found that one person who means much more than a lot to you?
 
Have you ever thought of yourself as "in love?"
Like there couldn't possibly be anywhere you'd wanna be in the universe except in the arms of your loved one?
He spoils you silly with love and you feel like, before you, after you, beyond you, nothing else matters, just you.
 
And then all of a sudden --- you find yourself soliloquizing in the lines below;
 
How does a person love up on someone so much only for them to give you the cold treatment just after you decide to love them back, perhaps even more than they showed you? 
 
How can someone who had all the time in the world for you suddenly become busy and unlovely and unloveable?
 
Somehow, you know the individual doesn't despise you, but as is obvious, their action(s) doesn't quite measure up.

 
Now, there are two things involved here:-
 
Either that person has become plain disinterested in you and is actually giving you the green light to move on with your life 
 
Or 
 
Maybe, just maybe, it's about time you pursued them too; maybe it's time you loved up on them - more.
 
So, I want to make a proposal; as we all know --- life is a teacher, like Jim Palmer would say - "there's twice as much we don't know, than we do know". 
Granted, I'm yet to get past my confuzzlement on why the male folk especially, lead ladies on to a certain extent only to turn them into bundles of insecurity, all the same:- 
 
My proposal goes thus:-
 
- I'd like for us to re-adjust our definition of love.

- Let's operate from this base of understanding that beyond the frills and thrills, underlying and over the top excitement; Love Is A Decision.

- It's about time we turned on our humanity towards our partner.
 
Loving and our emotions are something else, simply out of this world. I've heard people reduce love to chemical equations and mere release of hormones into the human brain and all I literally do is just shake my head.
Some, have even tried to calculate love by overly using their brain, in a bid to avoid being friendzoned  or outrightly fooled.
In my sojourn though, I've found that you'll fall for whom you'll fall for and you'll get bored if you'll get bored.
 
We could do without overly mathematicalizing love.

Ultimately, we ought to be proactive. 
When the boredom comes; owh trust me, it will.
When the attraction becomes less; When there's absolutely little or nothing to talk about; 
What measures do we take to spark it all up again?
This would normally require us going beyond ourselves, and ego, maybe. But with the right person, it's worth it, I think.
If he doesn't call you as usual, call him.
If he fails to say I love you and those sweet nothings you like to hear, say it to him.
If he doesn't ask about your loved ones, your family, your career and your circumstances, ask about his.
If he doesn't buy you those thoughtful gifts anymore like he used to, please go out of your way and get some for him.
 
If you really love that guy AND YOU THINK HE IS WORTH IT, despite his below par performance, love up on your man, love him, not because you are desperate - no, no; not as a means to manipulate him into doing your biddings [i] mbanu (no),[/i]let your actions towards him flow from a pure heart, as much as you can, give your best into the relationship without expecting so much.
 
 
"But Adannaya, what if he doesn't reciprocate, what if I genuinely get tired and I just need to break it off with him"
 
^^^ Always follow your heart, be sure you're being guided by your inner light --- by that feeling that's real, deep inside you.
 
Remember, patience is a virtue and there's really nothing like certainty in a relationship that is built to last.
 
Perhaps, one of the greatest lessons we can learn during this season, as we usher in the New Year is that, Giving is the best form of receiving.


To the guys reading this, a friend shared this text with me as shared by Kanye West via his twitter account --- you might be inspired smiley
 
[/b]
 
To our dear readers;

If you're inspired by this write up, please share with your friends, and as always, your comments are most welcome smiley
 

http://mizmycolimusings..com/2015/01/ladies-before-you-finally-give-up-on.html
Sorry to quote d whole write up right back only to say a coupla lines but I been down this road as a guy n ur quote don't work... Been burned like u won't imagine...
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by ikusdaddy: 9:59pm On Feb 18, 2015
U don't want read it, but if it's APC and PDP most of u will start condemning both parties.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by wemmieslim(f): 10:04pm On Feb 18, 2015
akinsadeez:
Nairalanders sha gringrin grin grin How did you know that the write up is 'very nice' without reading it? cheesy
I just guessed...,did I guess righthuh?
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by Amya(f): 10:25pm On Feb 18, 2015
A guy told me this yesterday. He said " once I lose I interest in a girl, I start acting like a jackass till the girl has it up to here. Then she'll dump me and feel like she DUMPED ME while I know secretly I did the dumping. And I smile and move on happily"

Know this ladies, OP, when a guy's done, they just detach themselves. No amount of reciprocating will make them come back to you. Just move on with your life. Hopefully, someone would value you more than that guy in the nearest future.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by Nobody: 10:25pm On Feb 18, 2015
mileskiyo:
Sorry to quote d whole write up right back only to say a coupla lines but I been down this road as a guy n ur quote don't work... Been burned like u won't imagine...
Maybe, just maybe...you were trying so hard in a wrong relationship.

If you do all the aforementioned and it still doesn't work out. @least you would have that fulfilment, knowing you gave it your best shot.

Anything worth doing is worth doing well - love inclusive.
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by akinsadeez(m): 11:03pm On Feb 18, 2015
wemmieslim:
I just guessed...,did I guess righthuh?
No....you guessed wrong. The write up is not nice at all. cry
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by spanzed(m): 11:58pm On Feb 18, 2015
And finally I read it all....Nice writeUp I must confess...
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by prinzfavian(m): 12:40am On Feb 19, 2015
Really beautiful....nice write up. smiley
Re: Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. by softwhispers: 3:33am On Feb 19, 2015
InZA:
1000000000Likes to MizMyColi for this amazing post.

The post does not say you should hold on aimlessly to a relationship that has completely lost its "zing".. What the post is suggesting that, as with every other thing in life, there are peaks and depressions, highs and lows....and a relationship is not exempt - in times like this when you know that you've not done anything tangible to feed the "low ebb" your relationship is experiencing , it's your duty to, instead of walking away.... Hold on and do everything possible to reignite the passion that you guys once shared


If there's any thing worth remembering in this post... It is that - LOVE IS A DECISION and it's unfortunate that many relationships nowadays don't have that conscious love decision as their foundation.


Love trumps emotions, butterflies in the stomach feeling and all those other shiii. Love is a conscious decision to love this person no matter what till maybe they openly come out and tell you-Don't love me anymore.


The fact of the matter.... Some people will never experience true love... simply because they can't give it.... you can only get what you're ready to give and if all you have to give is a type of love that's only based on emotions and sweet feelings, then true love will continue to elude you.
I JUST ABSOLUTELY LOVE U RIGHT NOW FOR THIS EXPOSITORY PIECE!!!
U SAID IT ALL!!!
cc @ Mizmycoli, the "Brainful One"!
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