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Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives - Family (30) - Nairaland

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Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 11:37am On Feb 19, 2015
ichidodo:
Ofcourse you should be...our mouth can be very sweet and persuasive if we put it stop chewing nicotine gum for one minute...But in anycase,you should let it percolate in your mind...meditate on it...Look it Babymama for example we can swear that in the middle of her first affair she was sold out on her politician boyfriend and yet by some sorccery and witchcraft she's already had kids for another love up to the point she doesn't miss a chance to eulogise him and we can boldly say she could die for him....If she can be smitten twice then so can you,this time bring it closer home and leave with the blessings of your proud father....just my opinion.
Hmmm ok.
Thanks a lot.

Babayosisi really tired. She still ended up with a very wonderful person. All heads at not the same. Like my father use to tell us, we are 4 girls and just a boy. He would always say we shouldn't look at the fact that my sister married a well to do man and say we must do same. He would say we should forget the fact that we are from one parent because we all have different heads and destinies, Herz you might meet a carpenter trust me his progress might start from you and it might be after you even marry him so always be who you are and look down on nobody. I always have that at the back of my mind.

Lakes is every woman's dream and the tot of dad's NO scares me.

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 11:39am On Feb 19, 2015
Kimoni:


Because he can guarantee that the particular Igbo man she will bring will be a saint Since the conclusion is that all men from the West are criminals and wife beaters.
That is his daughter not yours and those are his paternal instincts, observing very well that no yoruba man has gotten that level of police investigative experience in igboland to take a wild guess if we are saints or not.We will leave that to our cultural value system....
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 11:39am On Feb 19, 2015
delightful1:

Our parents just want the best for us but they are not always right in doing so. However, we can't really blame them, they have their reasons.

My elder sister got married to an Edo man against our parents' Wish. It was a tough war, today they are divorced with 2 wonderful girls.

My mum used to say non of her children Will marry outside our tribe and even within the tribe, there are restrictions to where you must marry from. But, all that has changed sha, even after what happened to my sister. One of my brothers is married to a Calabar woman and mum had no objection, she loves her.

Dad's own is that, I must not marry an hausa mangrin (I'm the only one not married yet). I once dated an Idoma guy sef, mum knew, she had her reservations but didn't object only asked me to pray well about it. The guy wanted marriage but at a point I had to let him go, he's even late now shasadsad and somehow I wish I never let him go, he was the best I've ever had. He was too good to he true, every woman's dream and every parents' pride.
Wow. Thank you so much, this will sure go a Long way. This guy has proven to be a wonderful man in all ramification and I wonder if there is someone better out there.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 11:42am On Feb 19, 2015
ichidodo:
[b] We know you're in love..you got butterflies around your eyes where it concerns lakes....but you must understand that we all must be very practical to matters such as these instead of being carried away.We must have a third party to look out for us inspite of ourselves. And that includes tribal,religious,domestic and financial matters. Example you was to put your daughter on a flight somewhere..say i don't know....Brazil? and it was common knowledge a particular airliner had experienced a spate of aircrashes recently...would you feel safe taking that risks with your daughter,even though your daughter likes the interior decor or attendants of the commercial airliner?....i don't think so....So you must look into yourself and the possibility that things may not work as planned,play it in your mind so you don't get crushed if dad says no...he loves you..wants the best for you...And we believe he will be crushed if his fears are confirmed.You can have so many loves from all tribes if you set your mind at it....but you can't repair the crushed spirit of a broken father.[/b]

Interesting!

You are actually comparing Western marriages to a particular airliner with a history of air crashes Which a mother will never allow her daughter to get into no matter the "external facade" it displays?

You've got a lot of things twisted, right?

6 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 11:46am On Feb 19, 2015
ichidodo:
That is his daughter not yours and those are his paternal instincts, observing very well that no yoruba man has gotten that level of police investigative experience in igboland to take a wild guess if we are saints or not.We will leave that to our cultural value system....

No Yoruba man has gotten that level of police investigative experience in Igboland? I can't make head or tail of this post.

2 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 11:51am On Feb 19, 2015
Kimoni:


Interesting!

You are actually comparing Western marriages to a particular airliner with a history of air crashes Which a mother will never allow her daughter to get into no matter the "external facade" it displays?

You've got a lot of things twisted, right?



You can bring your own analogy to dispute it instead of rhetorics....
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 11:56am On Feb 19, 2015
urchbarbie:
My dear! Am in ur kind of soes right now. My parents are so anti-non igbo. My mum carry d tin for head pass. Even within d igbo folks, she wld say, don't go to mbaise, ebonyi. Kai! D tin tire me o. Am cureently serving and am celebrating my silver jubilee bufday soon, yet no serious "ibo" relationship. I met a guy here in jalingo from dis part, mumsi just change am for me "biko, even if its mbaise, come n marry" The whole tin is really scaring me. Met a yrouba too, she said no way. Dad doesn't show much refusal tho he loves me omre dan anytin in d world (my guess). I asked mum 1 day if she would mould an ibo man for me and she culdnt reply. Dis tin is making guys see me as being smhw. One even asked me if am just using mum won't let me to refuse him cos I feel he is not my level. The whole tin is tiring me dear. I have only ever loved one ibo guy way back in my teen years. Now am so single, it hurts cry
Na wa o. What's with it must he Igbo sef? I don't even know how to speak the language but you will mistake my parent for Igbo's and maybe its because they spent a better part of their lives there, they speak the language like kilode. My mum even speaks dialect, if somebody speaks in the market she would say that's ogwu, that's mbano, that's oraifete, that's arochukwu, that's ohiafia, that's mbaise, that's abo-mbaise, that's obowo, that's orlu, that's nnewi and so on ( I don't know if I got their spellings gan) and me I will just be nodding because I don't know anyone. My dear the thing don tire me jor.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 12:00pm On Feb 19, 2015
Kimoni:


No Yoruba man has gotten that level of police investigative experience in Igboland? I can't make head or tail of this post.
Sure you can...just think out of the box.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by yuzed(f): 12:09pm On Feb 19, 2015
I combined all three togeher and believe me it was not easy.

I,m currently working and running a part time programme. I had my baby in 2013 when I was in 200L. If not for my husband and supportive in-laws, I would have dropped one, either the work or school. it was not easy and I won't try such again.

Goodluck.

cococandy:
Pls did anybody here go to school and work and have babies at the same time?

How did you do it?

I don't want to start what I can't finish embarassed

Cc efemenaxy
Moca
Babyosisi
Mutter

And all the mommas in the house
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 12:12pm On Feb 19, 2015
ichidodo:
Sure you can...just think out of the box.


Think out of the box you say - that's what my life entails, that's what my job requires but I could never think out of the box on a senseless post. The post has to first be meaningful wink

5 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 12:17pm On Feb 19, 2015
ichidodo:
You can bring your own analogy to dispute it instead of rhetorics....

No doubt you are a tribal bigot yourself. Your advice would hurt the poor girl more than the encouragement and enlightenment she needs. But it's her life and her choices finally.

8 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Lilimax(f): 12:23pm On Feb 19, 2015
Such an interesting thread!.
Well done Babyosisi and all the contributors?
I'm coming back to share my own experience of over 10 years smiley
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by urchbarbie(f): 12:32pm On Feb 19, 2015
Lol @mums comprehension of dialects. Its well. Marry? We must, and to d right ppl too.
Herzumpther:
Na wa o. What's with it must he Igbo sef? I don't even know how to speak the language but you will mistake my parent for Igbo's and maybe its because they spent a better part of their lives there, they speak the language like kilode. My mum even speaks dialect, if somebody speaks in the market she would say that's ogwu, that's mbano, that's oraifete, that's arochukwu, that's ohiafia, that's mbaise, that's abo-mbaise, that's obowo, that's orlu, that's nnewi and so on ( I didn't know if I got their spellings gan) and me I will just be nodding because I don't know anyone. My dear the thing don tire me jor.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 12:37pm On Feb 19, 2015
Kimoni:



Think out of the box you say - that's what my life entails, that's what my job requires but I could never think out of the box on a senseless post. The post has to first be meaningful wink
Who cares what your job looks like..with your nosy background we can go on a limb and guess it involves sniffing behind goats buttocks...Excuse us.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 12:37pm On Feb 19, 2015
Odillz:


My own mum has placed a big X on any Delta or Yoruba guy that would come to talk of marriage with me,but when that time come,I go fake madnes.s lipsrsealed
grin grin grin grin... abeg, don't fake madness ooo.. just talk it through with them... smiley
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 12:38pm On Feb 19, 2015
Lilimax:
Such an interesting thread!.
Well done Babyosisi and all the contributors?
I'm coming back to share my own experience of over 10 years smiley
We await your response Ma.. smiley

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Odillz: 12:48pm On Feb 19, 2015
MarvellousGod:
grin grin grin grin... abeg, don't fake madness ooo.. just talk it through with them... smiley
grin
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 12:49pm On Feb 19, 2015
Kimoni:


No doubt you are a tribal bigot yourself. Your advice would hurt the poor girl more than the encouragement and enlightenment she needs. But it's her life and her choices finally.
It only takes a tribal bigot to read meaning into every little innocent gestures....If a man-how much more a seasoned police investigator- is a tribal bigot for looking out for his own daughter then let him be,afterall tis his daughter and his experience that matter..Not ours...And we don't see how our encouragement can help change his mind either.…It is not as if you would practice what you preach if you was in his shoes.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 12:57pm On Feb 19, 2015
ichidodo:
It only takes a tribal bigot to read meaning into every little innocent gestures....If a man-how much more a seasoned police investigator- is a tribal bigot for looking out for his own daughter then let him be,afterall tis his daughter and his experience that matter..Not ours...And we don't see how our encouragement can help change his mind either.…It is not as if you would practice what you preach if you was in his shoes.

You are the tribal bigot here, not him.


He means well for his daughter and he just needs some bit of conviction to change his mind.

5 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Kimoni: 1:00pm On Feb 19, 2015
ichidodo:
Who cares what your job looks like..with your nosy background we can guess it involves sniffing behind goats buttocks...Excuse us.

cheesy cheesy cheesy Whatever it is, at least it involves me thinking sensibly out of the box and not having to sniff out tribalistic comments.

2 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:03pm On Feb 19, 2015
urchbarbie:
Lol @mums comprehension of dialects. Its well. Marry? We must, and to d right ppl too.
Thanks dear and marry we must. Lol.

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 1:05pm On Feb 19, 2015
Kimoni:


You are the tribal bigot here, not him.


He means well for his daughter and he just needs some bit of conviction to change his mind.
You're now being hypocritical because you want (hook or crook) your country man to marry the girl,you stylishly avoided calling her father a tribal bigot but you accuse us of the same thing the father is keen on to avoid the predicament of his friend's daughter.......See your life.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:10pm On Feb 19, 2015
MarvellousGod:
grin grin grin grin... abeg, don't fake madness ooo.. just talk it through with them... smiley
Did she say she will fake madness? How come I didn't see that? shocked shocked shocked

Come Odillz if you fake madness they will take you for madness treatment and then you will start taking mad people's drugs and if your head too correct you go begin another system of madness o grin.... Funny woman grin grin faking anything is not an option jor. cheesy
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by christabeli: 1:12pm On Feb 19, 2015
ichidodo:
You're now being hypocritical because you want (hook or crook) your country man to marry the girl,you stylishly avoided calling her father a tribal bigot but you accuse us of the same thing the father is keen on to avoid the predicament of his friend's daughter.......See your life.
Do you want to turn this beautiful thread into a war zone? you have given your advice, please let it go

10 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 1:12pm On Feb 19, 2015
Kimoni:


cheesy cheesy cheesy Whatever it is, at least it involves me thinking sensibly out of the box and not having to sniff out tribalistic comments.
Not our problem seeing that you're acting true to your job description sniffing goat's bottoms and ichidodo's comments...we cannot be bothered.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Odillz: 1:15pm On Feb 19, 2015
Herzumpther:
Did she say she will fake madness? How come I didn't see that? shocked shocked shocked

Come Odillz if you fake madness they will take you for madness treatment and then you will start taking mad people's drugs and if your head too correct you go begin another system of madness o grin.... Funny woman grin grin faking anything is not an option jor. cheesy
It worked sha cheesy
I said it to make you laugh tongue
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:19pm On Feb 19, 2015
Odillz:

It worked sha cheesy
I said it to make you laugh tongue
Oopsss. Thank you jare.



We will just do movies on sat. Thanks again.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Odillz: 1:21pm On Feb 19, 2015
Herzumpther:
Oopsss. Thank you jare.



We will just do movies on sat. Thanks again.
If only we would be able to gist wella o
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:23pm On Feb 19, 2015
Odillz:

If only we would be able to gist wella o
Hmmm. OK till then.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:26pm On Feb 19, 2015
Herzumpther:
Thanks dear and marry we must. Lol.

Herz, I know how much you love your dad....
I happen to be my dad's only daughter, first child too smiley and you need to see the look on the man's face when he's introducing me to people....the 'meet my only daughter' part amuses me cheesy like is that my name? undecided cheesy
All these story just to tell you nobody understands a father-daughter bond as much as I do....
I used to think my aversion to offending my dad was out of fear until I moved faaaaar away across seas and oceans (where even if he wants to touch me, he needs a minimum of 48 hours to reach) and I still cannot stand offending the man. If the man calls me on phone now and says 'aluta, why did you do this' even with the slightest form of anger in his voice, my next 2 days don spoil be that. Na so I go dey feel terrible....that was when I knew it was just out of love that I cannot say 'no' to the man. However, over the years, I have come to realise that we cannot live our parent's lives for them. My dad is much more over-bearing, last time I came home, he was almost dictating clothes to put on for me (said I was spilling cleavage angry cheesy ...na just small show oo cheesy ).....At some point, you would have to look dad in the face and tell him it's Lekan you want or no-one else. The last guy I and my parents had a discussion about, myself, I had freed him anyways, so, when my mum started giving 1001 reasons not to be with him, I didn't really bother. But I know if that guy was all I wanted, we would have had to talk through those reasons. Let your dad know point blank with tears in your eyes and all the seriousness in the world that if Lekan should go, he should sha know that is it. No hubby again! cheesy I'm sure he doesn't want that wink

Our parenrs have lives their lives, made their mistakes, had their failures and successes, taken their risks and that is what has shapened them. Tbaba created a thread some days ago the cowardice of parents, and I totally understand them. Parents are naturally inclined to protect their children but sometimes, they overdo it even without them knowing. After all these cajoling and begging, I sincerely hope it works, but if it doesn't, it's time to a big girl for daddy for just some few minutes. It's gonna be tough, as I dey type sef, me sef no know if I fit but it's your last resort.

Your instincts, mind and all are totally with this guy, dad needs a better reason that his yorubaness to deny you of such love.


The downside to this method is that you might end up with dad's permissive will, with faith that all works out well, might take a few years for dad to finally warm up to him.
No one knows the future, anything can happen! But you just have to hope for the best. Dad's choice might be right or wrong, your choice might be right or wrong. God forbid but even if this is a mistake, you want it to be yours and not dad's!

I wish you all the best!
-Aluta!

21 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:26pm On Feb 19, 2015
MarvellousGod:
Are you having problems with conception? TTC= Trying to concieve.. Don't think you need the thread...
is it people having problems with conception dat only need the thread?I think its also to educate people and also learn more frm there,can u send me the link
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by BABE3: 1:31pm On Feb 19, 2015
Herzumpther, I'm so sorry to burst your bubble.

Since your dad is against you marrying this guy, you'll need to let go of the emotions/butterlies and start doing your homework about the guy, logically.

The worst place to be in a marriage as a woman, is having a bad spouse and having parents that warned you against him. You'll be completely alone if you later find out this man isn't who you think he is.

so firstly,
-you said he shuttles from Nigeria to america. Have you made sure he doesn't have a second life in America?

secondly,
-you said he's a virgin and you're not. I think it's important to make sure you're sexùally compatible. I don't know how that'll happen but I believe it's important, to avoid stories that touch grin

sexùal incompatibility which often leads to infidelity is a leading cause of divorce.

thirdly,
-How well do you know him ? Knowing someone on the surface is way different from knowing someone on a deep level.


You should ponder on those. Get a pen and paper. Let go of emotions. Do your pros and cons list. Do a background check too.

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