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Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives - Family (33) - Nairaland

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Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by sweetbaby22(f): 4:09pm On Feb 19, 2015
Jchi9876:


This Ngwa girl is surely a drifter!!!

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 4:09pm On Feb 19, 2015
FOREXMARTS:
Something ain't right here today, why the negative energy? Ever since some mod who couldn't decipher the difference between a sensitive thread and a regular thread sent us to front page without anyone asking so much negative energies have started corrupting the initial motive of this thread.

Aunty Babyosisi abeg steer this ship well and avoid distractions oh. Ride on.
The thing sef tire me. Some mentions are better ignored jawe. Asking me if them force me post, no be nl again?

Hope ya day is going well?

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by sucezTP(f): 4:10pm On Feb 19, 2015
Following..

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 4:17pm On Feb 19, 2015
Justfollowit:


The kids lives are more important than her life. It is this kind of marriages that breed psychopaths and sociopaths. If she is a good mum, there is no reason why she cannot rear them alone. Her children will grow up fine to become responsible citizens.

It takes a man with a small mind to beat his wife and a woman with a smaller mind to endure it.
I didn't say the kids lives are not important, but the fact that women use their kids as an excuse not to live an abusive marriage
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by cococandy(f): 4:22pm On Feb 19, 2015
embarassed Well thanks

I think I know what to do now
yuzed:
I combined all three togeher and believe me it was not easy.

I,m currently working and running a part time programme. I had my baby in 2013 when I was in 200L. If not for my husband and supportive in-laws, I would have dropped one, either the work or school. it was not easy and I won't try such again.

Goodluck.

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 4:23pm On Feb 19, 2015
Herzumpther:
Hmmm ok.
Thanks a lot.

Babayosisi really tired. She still ended up with a very wonderful person. All heads at not the same. Like my father use to tell us, we are 4 girls and just a boy. He would always say we shouldn't look at the fact that my sister married a well to do man and say we must do same. He would say we should forget the fact that we are from one parent because we all have different heads and destinies, Herz you might meet a carpenter trust me his progress might start from you and it might be after you even marry him so always be who you are and look down on nobody. I always have that at the back of my mind.

Lakes is every woman's dream and the tot of dad's NO scares me.
We are not here to cast a negative light on your dreams with lekan we just want to see things through your father's eyes as regards his disapproval so that you can get a little idea of his motives and fears. But we glad he's going to see your father at least that should count for something, who knows? Your dad could inexplicably just consent.....maybe because he's friend's wife-battering yoruba son-in-law didn't do what lekan is about to do thus a jinx could be broken and he's good with your yoruba boyfriend....we are praying for you.

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 4:27pm On Feb 19, 2015
ichidodo:
We are not here to cast a negative light on your dreams with lekan we just want to see things through your father's eyes as regards his disapproval so that you can get a little idea of his motives and fears. But we glad he's going to see your father at least that should count for something, who knows? Your dad could inexplicably just consent.....maybe because he's friend's wife-battering yoruba son-in-law didn't do what lekan is about to do thus a jinx could be broken and he's good with your yoruba boyfriend....we are praying for you.
Really I understand.
Thank you.

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 4:33pm On Feb 19, 2015
MrsOJ:

I didn't say the kids lives are not important, but the fact that women use their kids as an excuse not to live an abusive marriage
What's wrong with using kids as an excuse to escape an abusive marriage.
I do not care for women who have decided to endure their husband beatings but once kids are involved, it is no longer a choice. It is either they leave the man or the state should intevene by declaring them incapable of having kids and the kids taken away from them.

The society is already filled with enough sociopaths and psycopaths , no need to add to the list.

6 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 4:37pm On Feb 19, 2015
[quote author=Justfollowit post=30884888]
What's wrong with tossing kids as assn excuse.
I do not cars for women who have decided to endure their husband beatings but once kids are involved, it is no longer their discretions. They must leave the man either that or they should be declared incapable of having kids and the kids must be taken away from them.

The society is already filled with sociopaths and psycopaths , no need to add to the list.


Maybe u should read from page 0. Then again your opinion, have a nice day.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by cococandy(f): 4:46pm On Feb 19, 2015
cococandy:
Pls the MOD who put this on fp should kindly remove it.
Haba. Is it everything that must go to fp?

So this nice thread will fill up with trolls?
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Enoquin(f): 4:48pm On Feb 19, 2015
Since you are one who believes in prayers and the spiritual, it means God has answered your prayers but you are refusing to let go.
Him not giving though doesn't mean he shouldn't get a birthday gift and I am not a fan of having male students take care of the needs of their girlfriends. Babe, e no easy to be man oh. If he spends too much, you could help channel it into something positive.

Bootybuttchic:
Want to spill mine too.after folowin day and nait,aunt osisi help me

I and dis guy have been dating for d past 2/3years,our third year initialy,at times we cud be besties,and other times we fight which shld be normal,but since last year we quarel a lot,tho we are far away due to schoolin,and we have sharing issues,i always help in when he is in need even wen he doesnt ask,but he doesnt,he wud just be like eeya,hmmn etc,and when i ask he may help but say he forgot i told him anytin,.....when i try to tel hm my mind,he would say,i shld remember hes a student,i shld wait,hes graduating this year,bla bla bla,and i am usually like,stop talkin like am after money,but sometimes u shld just try to help,little gestures people do to show love,it shldnt be one sided,i have actually on my own part stopped helping him too.planned to nt give him a gift on his coming birthday
,another thing is he is extravagant,he spends too much,and av been trying to curb that,its part of d reasons he is always broke...i teach him many things,some times i think maybe its cos he is neva had his mum,but i tel him if i do this continuosly,u wont like it at a point and u wil take it like i complain too much,and i cant marry someone like that.,..tho we love each other now the issue is,in school we had a mariage seminar in church about marriage,i prayed and told God to show me d right way.so as not to marry a wrong persn,and i said if he is d one,somethn shld happen in 7days(i knw it sounds crazy)but on d 7th day we quarelld,and broke up,but he came begn d nextday,and next,i ansad,and we planned to see,i pray alot .so whle praying again that night i told God to lets make up,i.e we shld be happy like we usualy do,it shld be worthwhile if we were for each other,but when we saw ehn,we quarelld imagined,its never happend before......what do u people think,pls help a sister out
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by khassy(m): 4:58pm On Feb 19, 2015
shinejackie:
Grabs a seat with pop corn and coke....... wink
bros shift small... pass me small popcorn I get kunu... wink

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 5:00pm On Feb 19, 2015
khassy:

bros shift small... pass me small popcorn I get kunu... wink
.

Hahaha... grin grin

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by djon78(m): 5:01pm On Feb 19, 2015
edwife:
Later today,i went through many rants about valentines in stella blog but what caught my attention is the comments of women....









The reason i posted this is to evaluate our lives,yes we might think we are the only one in this situation or it is rosy for some.My question is,must the circle continues?is there an end to this?when will a nigerian woman know when it is enough!

I got so depressed and tearful at some of the comments and let me thinking....
If only our society was fair to women,if only....

Personaly most times if not all the time, these women are to blame for there woes. Why? Because most of the time while single, they were approached by good men but they rejected them because they may not have much money or charisma like the other deceiving men, therefore they end up falling for the wolves.
Secondly most dont seek God talkless of praying feverntly for the right man, if they do, they will get the right man and avoid/ be shielded divinely from the wrong ones.
So I will advice both single men/women, pray and seek God feverntly concerning your life partner, infact start early to pray, the earlier the better. If you do, God will never allow you to marry anybody that will bring you sorrow and misery, He will shield you away from such, but to get Gods help, you must seek him and start seeking him early, not when the deed has already been done.

3 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Bootybuttchic(f): 5:03pm On Feb 19, 2015
Enoquin:
Since you are one who believes in prayers and the spiritual, it means God has answered your prayers but you are refusing to let go.
Him not giving though doesn't mean he shouldn't get a birthday gift and I am not a fan of having male students take care of the needs of their girlfriends. Babe, e no easy to be man oh. If he spends too much, you could help channel it into something positive.

okay thank u,note he is nt taking care of my needs neither do i expect him,but what am sayin is "sharing"no matter how small,am not working doesnt mean i cant share undecided,everythng shouldnt be about money.i always tel him that if i dont like this now,i wont like to wait for tommorow with u,because when u have all the money,and i stay then its means its the money i love not u or ur personality undecided.that its now i can know the true you,and i do tell him i wont wait for him if he doesnt change b4 he goes for his masters abroad this year,hoping he will change sad

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 5:07pm On Feb 19, 2015
ephee:




no lady prays to end up as a single mum. pray u dnt meet a man like my ex hubby,even ur not nagging wunt stop him from hitting u. he wil look for sometin to fight u for.hez a saddist nd trouble maker. i cant love such a man that wil raise his hands on me

u know within u that we all have our limits as humans.there ar certain levels of enduring pain xcept if u want to end up 6 feet below.

i cant love a man that wil hit me at every slightest provocation. we all have our choices


u allowed ur life experiences to pollute ur mentality on marriage when u were supposed to use them as lessons to guide u in ur own path.

marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured.

i also grew up witout my dad .my mum loved my siblings more than me nd even made me serve them dispite being d eldest but it made me stronger nd wiser today.

my parents ar divorced but it dosnt change my mentality of settling for less. ur story is almost similar to mine but Even at that i stil believe there ar few good and responsible men out there.

tanx for d advise
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Enoquin(f): 5:12pm On Feb 19, 2015
But why are you waiting if according to you God replied? Anyways, it's natural for some to share/give but not natural for some. Some are nudged to give, some don't see why they should have to give.
Besides, what are you always quarreling about?

Bootybuttchic:
okay thank u,note he is nt taking care of my needs neither do i expect him,but what am sayin is "sharing"no matter how small,am not working doesnt mean i cant share undecided,everythng shouldnt be about money.i always tel him that if i dont like this now,i wont like to wait for tommorow with u,because when u have all the money,and i stay then its means its the money i love not u or ur personality undecided.that its now i can know the true you,and i do tell him i wont wait for him if he doesnt change b4 he goes for his masters abroad this year,hoping he will change sad

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Ilekeh(f): 5:26pm On Feb 19, 2015
lmao @ this thread and the OP. No thank you.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Bootybuttchic(f): 5:27pm On Feb 19, 2015
Enoquin:
But why are you waiting if according to you God replied? Anyways, it's natural for some to share/give but not natural for some. Some are nudged to give, some don't see why they should have to give.
Besides, what are you always quarreling about?

i broke up,but he kept calling and begging,and i accepted,we are just too attached i dnt knw,we quarel over stupid matters,we cud be arguing on matters like relgion,sometimes he would visit a freind and be like i couldnt even call to knw if he is safe,or i could be correcting him on sometin but he then tur n it upside down,sometimes he just doesnt understand a message.and he hardly agrees with me,the last time we were going some where,and needed to seek for directions,he was just walking miles ahead,i was the one asking people,i would now start lookin for hm in the crowd.he was just annoyn,and wen i told him he said walkin slowly wil trigger his sickness
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by thorpido(m): 5:33pm On Feb 19, 2015
Mikwus:



Aunty Osisi

I left a 6yr relationship after my ex's dad told him that he was not in support of our intended marriage. Reason is my genotype "SS", though he is "AA". In less than a month my ex told me he was getting married.........I was heart broken and almost died from heartache. It's been 3yrs now and somehow by God's Grace i lived through it.

2yrs after my breakup and healing I met a man and i like him so much. He is a gentleman. From a good Christian home. I know he loves me because despite all my excesses (arrogance and ill-temper, NO Sexual Excess) he's still with me. He believes so much in us, but i don't believe it anymore. It's been 2yrs+ since he asked we pray to know God's will about us and I'm so tired of waiting because he doesn't have a stable job and he is really waiting on God for a miracle. I'm 30yrs old and i want to settle down because i believe it will help keep me more focused especially in my prayer life....(i believe i can pray with and for him as a friend but not for God to bless him 'cos i want to marry him, i just think it's too selfish a prayer) I believe we can settle and i can pray with and for him as my husband.

Now I have suitors lined up. A queue i know that i can choose anyone from and I will be able to live with that person.

I am afraid of waiting and perhaps in the end it would be the same story as the last.

Problem is, he doesn't want to commit totally, in his words "I CANNOT ASK YOU TO STAY, BUT IF YOU FEEL YOU CANNOT WAIT, I WILL WISH YOU WELL BUT I WOULD RATHER WAIT FOR GOD TO LEAD ME THAN MAKE A MISTAKE"

I am confused........right now, I've resulted to telling others i'm not dating and just looking up to God to direct the right person 'cos i'm confused as they are quite a good number of them.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't know what to do............I'm not sleeping with anyone, i'm just trying to establish a good relationship first before i strike out some , but AM I GOING ABOUT IT THE RIGHT WAY??
The guys coming,do they know your genotype?Do you know theirs?How about the man in your life now?
Please make sure you are compatible(genotypically) with any man you intend marrying.

1 Like

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by precisionindepth: 5:35pm On Feb 19, 2015
babyosisi:


Thanks for this
I am waiting for the younger wives to ask real questions and I will use my own mistakes as examples
You will grow grey hairs overnight trying to change your spouse
You can never succeed and you will be very miserable and if you nag,
Ha
if he ever wanted to change sef ,his entire testosterone will come out full force and challenge you to do your worst
There are women who have gone mental in their marital homes trying to change their spouses
You will die and he will marry another wife and keep on strutting
So don't bother
There are ways to have a man eating literally out of the palms of your hand and people think it's juju grin
No juju at all
Wisdom is the key

I Dont c a reason y u shd want to change smbody...nobody is perfect... accepting each oda flaws will b more advantageous. if u can't cope with a person behavior...simply do d needful.....IGNORE
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by precisionindepth: 5:37pm On Feb 19, 2015
babyosisi:


Thanks for this
I am waiting for the younger wives to ask real questions and I will use my own mistakes as examples
You will grow grey hairs overnight trying to change your spouse
You can never succeed and you will be very miserable and if you nag,
Ha
if he ever wanted to change sef ,his entire testosterone will come out full force and challenge you to do your worst
There are women who have gone mental in their marital homes trying to change their spouses
You will die and he will marry another wife and keep on strutting
So don't bother
There are ways to have a man eating literally out of the palms of your hand and people think it's juju grin
No juju at all
Wisdom is the key

[/quote]I dont c a reason y u shd want to change smbody...nobody is perfect... accepting each oda flaws will b more advantageous. if u can't cope with a person behavior...simply do d needful.....IGNORE
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by elixirnina: 5:42pm On Feb 19, 2015
OP can I get your email address, I need serious advice on an issue
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 5:43pm On Feb 19, 2015
TONYE001:


Well, am I fit to respond to this question? Maybe no but I'll make an attempt nevertheless.

Wifey and I just got married last August. Through out last year, we made attempts to leave the shores of the country to continue our studies abroad but we weren't successful...so, we gave up.

Presently, we are M. Sc applicants at one of the federal universities in the country. I have already written my entrance exam, wifey is still preparing for hers.

I think the major skill one must have to run a family, school, and work is the ability to multitask. Yea! By God's grace, I have this skill and I believe my baby has it too.

There is so much I can do to relieve her to a reasonable extent. I can help with the chores, make the environment at home as conducive as possible (to enable effective studying), and most importantly, I can figure out a way of providing her (and the house) enough fund so that she doesn't have to work until she's done with the program. Even if she must work (which isn't the case though), I would still be there for her at all time, God willing.

What is the situation now at home? By the grace of God Almighty, we are expecting our babies (we have already received twins by faith) and wifey is studying SERIOUSLY for her entrance exam. At the moment, I do (90%) of the cooking, 100% of laundry, (90%) of every other chore. All she does is to eat, take her drugs (follic acid, etc), rest, and study. I observed that she gets tired easily (she's in her first trimester) so the strategy is that once she wakes up, eats, and bathes, she studies with that "fresh energy".

Has it been easy? No!...but it's possible..

I wish you success ma'am and every other lady in your shoes.
I hope our proud Nigerian men will learn from this, God bless your home.

7 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Enoquin(f): 5:46pm On Feb 19, 2015
Bootybuttchic:
i broke up,but he kept calling and begging,and i accepted,we are just too attached i dnt knw,we quarel over stupid matters,we cud be arguing on matters like relgion,sometimes he would visit a freind and be like i couldnt even call to knw if he is safe,or i could be correcting him on sometin but he then tur n it upside down,sometimes he just doesnt understand a message.and he hardly agrees with me,the last time we were going some where,and needed to seek for directions,he was just walking miles ahead,i was the one asking people,i would now start lookin for hm in the crowd.he was just annoyn,and wen i told him he said walkin slowly wil trigger his sickness

Walking slowly will trigger his sickness? Lmaooo cheesy cheesy

Na omode dey do both of una cheesy. If he isn't the one for you, leaving him now will be better than leaving him later as the longer you are together, the more attached you become.

Arguing over religion can be avoided, aren't you both christians? You know it takes two people for an argument to occur.
On visiting his friend and you not calling. Tell him next time, it is his responsibility to call. My Gem always did that, I will travel, I will call and say 'I don reach', he will travel, I will still call to ask if he has reached. It is not because I was over-caring, that's the way we are in my family especially as regards travelling. So, one day, he traveled and I didn't call. When we were chatting later, he asked why I didn't call to know if he had arrived and I said to him, I travel, I call, you travel and I still call? Nope. That was how the dynamics changed. Now, it's update whether I am asleep or not.
The correcting stuff dey my blood too but I have learnt to tone it down. A relationship is about two people not just one person.

Learn to pick your battles.

P.S I don't think you are as spiritual as you imply. You clearly love your own will above God's tongue (Sorry, couldn't resist)

4 Likes

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 5:47pm On Feb 19, 2015
Lawd have mercy! What a thread!!!
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by FOREXMARTS: 5:51pm On Feb 19, 2015
Herzumpther:
The thing sef tire me. Some mentions are better ignored jawe. Asking me if them force me post, no be nl again?

Hope ya day is going well?

Very well my dear and urs?
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by precisionindepth: 5:52pm On Feb 19, 2015
TONYE001:


Well, am I fit to respond to this question? Maybe no but I'll make an attempt nevertheless.

Wifey and I just got married last August. Through out last year, we made attempts to leave the shores of the country to continue our studies abroad but we weren't successful...so, we gave up.

Presently, we are M. Sc applicants at one of the federal universities in the country. I have already written my entrance exam, wifey is still preparing for hers.

I think the major skill one must have to run a family, school, and work is the ability to multitask. Yea! By God's grace, I have this skill and I believe my baby has it too.

There is so much I can do to relieve her to a reasonable extent. I can help with the chores, make the environment at home as conducive as possible (to enable effective studying), and most importantly, I can figure out a way of providing her (and the house) enough fund so that she doesn't have to work until she's done with the program. Even if she must work (which isn't the case though), I would still be there for her at all time, God willing.

What is the situation now at home? By the grace of God Almighty, we are expecting our babies (we have already received twins by faith) and wifey is studying SERIOUSLY for her entrance exam. At the moment, I do (90%) of the cooking, 100% of laundry, (90%) of every other chore. All she does is to eat, take her drugs (follic acid, etc), rest, and study. I observed that she gets tired easily (she's in her first trimester) so the strategy is that once she wakes up, eats, and bathes, she studies with that "fresh energy".

Has it been easy? No!...but it's possible..

I wish you success ma'am and every other lady in your shoes.
u r a real gem..God bless u

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by FOREXMARTS: 5:56pm On Feb 19, 2015
naijababe:
Lawd have mercy! What a thread!!!

Lol Big Sis good evening, coincidentally this afternoon I was asking myself why we don't have you here. You are very welcome to my little escape from fx trading (smiles). Welcome again.
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 5:57pm On Feb 19, 2015
FOREXMARTS:


Lol Big Sis good evening, coincidentally this afternoon I was asking myself why we don't have you here. You are very welcome to my little escape from fx trading (smiles). Welcome again.

I just found the thread about an hour ago. I don't know if I am qualified to give advice yet grin
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Bootybuttchic(f): 5:58pm On Feb 19, 2015
Enoquin:


Walking slowly will trigger his sickness? Lmaooo cheesy cheesy

Na omode dey do both of una cheesy. If he isn't the one for you, leaving him now will be better than leaving him later as the longer you are together, the more attached you become.

Arguing over religion can be avoided, aren't you both christians? You know it takes two people for an argument to occur.
On visiting his friend and you not calling. Tell him next time, it is his responsibility to call. My Gem always did that, I will travel, I will call and say 'I don reach', he will travel, I will still call to ask if he has reached. It is not because I was over-caring, that's the way we are in my family especially as regards travelling. So, one day, he traveled and I didn't call. When we were chatting later, he asked why I didn't call to know if he had arrived and I said to him, I travel, I call, you travel and I still call? Nope. That was how the dynamics changed. Now, it's update whether I am asleep or not.
The correcting stuff dey my blood too but I have learnt to tone it down. A relationship is about two people not just one person.

Learn to pick your battles.

P.S I don't think you are as spiritual as you imply. You clearly love your own will above God's tongue (Sorry, couldn't resist)
yes thats it,GODS WIll,but u knw feelings ,he kips coming,have told him,but he said wat shld we do,i told him to go and seek advice too

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