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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives (268984 Views)
Before you Interfere In Any Marital Scuffle. / Man Seeks Divorce Because Wife Ran Mad After Extra-marital Affair / I Always See My Wife Having Extra Marital Affairs In My Dreams: Husband (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by bukatyne(f): 10:11am On Feb 23, 2015 |
Preprof: Preprof, What do you enjoy in this relationship? |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by bukatyne(f): 10:39am On Feb 23, 2015 |
babyosisi: Very Very true |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by harveyspec: 1:11pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
bukatyne: Wow thanks ma, I'm grateful Just that I love her & I know she loves me, the thought of breaking her heart is bugging me & the whole idea of starting afresh. It's a mixed feeling, once her drama starts, I want to pull out later on, I start reconsidering The circle continues!!! |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:26pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
babyosisi: Wooooow!! I had goose-bumps reading your story. I have had that kind of romance once in my life and he was the one I dreamt of marrying. Thank God I did not . . . I always wondered is such passion ever fizzles out . . It's obvious you and your hubby are still waxing strong so I guess not. Wonderful story . . thanks for sharing. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 1:31pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
queensmith: Guess again . . . |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 2:32pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
bukatyne: Why don't they believe in me? 5 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 4:55pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
Mikwus: I think u are unnecessarily naive. sorry to say. At 30, u shld know what u want, exactly. I think that man u'r waiting for, is manipulating u. If u av many suitors and keep waiting on one man, u wld have no one but urself to blame. 4 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by bukatyne(f): 4:57pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
Bolded: Because you are bolded Wipe your tears.... don't cry Now I believe in the bolded 3 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by netotse(m): 6:11pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
Herzumpther: @herz let me add my uninvited two cents sharply You selfishly hid your Lakes from your dad prior to sunday, thus depriving your dad of the opportunity to form an opinion of him as a person. Now, your dad has to form an opinion based on the little time they were within close quarters...any perceived bias will have greater weight and remember to your dad someone is coming to try to take[sic] his precious daughter, whom he absolutely loves and adores, away. That means he's a natural adversary...you have stacked the odds against Lakes. That said, why do you like lakes? why do you think he can love you with the same amount (and possibly more) of love and affection etc etc ati be be lo, that your father does? why do you trust him to care for and protect you with, at the very least, the same amount of diligence that your father would? What are the similarities between him and your dad(if any this is key to persuading your dad, you need to point them out to him, most good dads tend to they are the best husband for his daughter )? What you would need to do at this point is to relay to your dad, (this should usually be done over a period of time and by the man himself though), that Lakes is able and willing to look after you to the extent that he(your dad) thinks is necessary. My reading of the situation is that to your dad, your wellbeing is of utmost important and if you guys are able to get him to see that, it would be easier for him to let go of his dislike for lagos people. Like he said, he doesn't have anything against lakes but from his experience, people from his(lakes) neck of the woods, don't seem to have what it takes to look after his(your dad) daughter. Ideally, one way to convince a girls parents/guardians, is through your actions over time, but in this case you guys (you and lakes) went straight to marriage thus short circuiting the process. Your goal should be to show your dad that lakes intentions and aspirations for you align with his(your dad's). going back to ROM. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 7:40pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
Ujujoan: What makes you think this wouldn't have worked out especially with the advantage of not spending time trying to build a chemistry between you two. Are you of the opinion that there is only one man out there you could marry? |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:48pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
I am highly interested in talking about how to deal with the MIL. Imagine this true story. Its her wedding day and after all is done, ceremony's over and she is left with mother in law, she tells her, 'You are not the one I wanted for my son'. Ladies in the house, how would you have handled this. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by FOREXMARTS: 9:03pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
babyosisi: Seconded, that pastor na heavy werey. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by FOREXMARTS: 9:05pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
Herzumpther: Okay now ur Dad is not playing fair. Howdy? |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by FOREXMARTS: 9:12pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
Preprof: WTF? (excuse my French). Are good men this scarce? |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 9:16pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
FOREXMARTS:No he is not o and he has been quiet since that day. I'm good. How are you ? |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by FOREXMARTS: 9:24pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
Herzumpther: Adim okay. I guess he is sleeping over it. Await second reading. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by okotv(m): 9:25pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
Herzumpther:Nothing to be scared of. he is still considering options and would soon give in. dont ask cause am in a cyber cafe to register for something important ....be back soon. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 9:28pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
FOREXMARTS:Hmmmm OK o. I tot he would have at least said something on Sunday evening but nothing till today. I dey wait sha. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 9:29pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
okotv: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 10:35pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
netotse:Hmmm.....I'm speechless. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 4:29am On Feb 24, 2015 |
Yadoctora: I missed this o Did it happen to you? That statement doesn't deserve a response but since it may sound rude to totally ignore her you may give a response If it were me,I would just say hmm mama and smile,get up and go into the bedroom and tell the son when he gets home You don't tell the woman anything beyond that Are you going to start arguing on how you were his choice and why she should accept you,waste of saliva 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 6:50am On Feb 24, 2015 |
babyosisi: No. I am yet to be married. I heard this story from the bride in question. Her situation with her MIL was a very bad one. She was quiet but her husband did not take it well. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by urchbarbie(f): 7:51am On Feb 24, 2015 |
Am glad her husby ddnt o. Let him make it clear dat his wife is not to be trampled on, else, d iyawo won't enjoy her marriage Yadoctora: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:23am On Feb 24, 2015 |
Yadoctora: That couple will do well Some things especially MIL things like this particular one should be handled by the husband.The woman has no business exchanging words with the MIL on this.let him trash it out with his mother and I will advise that the wife stays completely out of sight while this is going on so she won't be tempted to respond to any name callings.if the house is split level and this discussion is going on downstairs,she should be upstairs but within an ear shot to hear what transpired and say nothing no matter what she hears. And when hubby has scolded mama enough and returns upstairs,you say nothing,just allow him to pacify you and don't bad mouth mama.Keep that man on your side 100% on this issue.Once the mama gets that message,she has no other choice but to back off. They may eventually accuse her of tying him with juju,that is sign that she is doing the right thing and playing her cards right. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by bukatyne(f): 8:43am On Feb 24, 2015 |
harveyspec: She needs to learn how to give back |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by bishak: 9:11am On Feb 24, 2015 |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by LaRoyalHighness(f): 9:40am On Feb 24, 2015 |
A similar thing happened to me... On the day of my tm, my husband took me to his family house as the custom demands. When I went to greet my mother in law, she told my husband "I guess its God that joined this marriage because I prayed against this married alot". I expected my dh to react but he didn't. I wouldn't let this woman spoil my day so I ignored. I never discussed it... I don't think I will ever forgive her. Seriously! Till today we ain't friends. Yadoctora: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 10:09am On Feb 24, 2015 |
babyosisi: Believe me he was the only one I ever wanted to marry. Ours was a fairy-tale romance from day one. But I later found out somethings about him, things I never knew while we were dating . . and things I would have eventually found out if I married and and it would have been to late to do anything about. Would I have wanted to marry someone I fell in love with at first sight, DEFINITELY YES . . . Do I regret marrying hubby? NO - NEVER! Infact in retrospect, I am enjoying this waaay better. It wasn't like I 'worked' hard to develop the passion, it just came naturally over time. And this feels more real than what I had with my ex . . . much more real. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 2:24pm On Feb 24, 2015 |
I am sad you deactivated You shouldn't have Your story gives another perspective to this love and marriage thing and you shared from the heart Thanks for sharing it and keeping this thread real.I like the no pretense style all the contributors here have adopted, the readers can feel it You know what,like you i later found out also why my ex,the now rich Abuja politician wasn't meant for me He now has a second wife. Bless you and may God bless your union and fill your hearts with joy and laughter,binding you with cord that cannot be broken Amen 5 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 2:32pm On Feb 24, 2015 |
LaRoyalHighness: How long have you been married? You need to find it in your heart to forgive her and get past that I don't just want to tell stories of my experiences for telling sake,I would like to tell them in relation to a situation shared by someone If you can share specific stuff between you and your MIL,I may be able to give you tips on how to make it better Believe me,I may have seen worse than you but I am glad to say today that my mil and I have a great relationship and it may be one singular thing I did to endear my husband to me more than ever |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 2:35pm On Feb 24, 2015 |
I am baring myself because I truly want to help the younger women in their marriages When I met my hubby one of the first things he said to me in our discussions at some point was that his mother was a very tough woman and I appreciated his sincerity. Now,when a man shares that truth with his wife to be,it is serious.and I did find out what he meant So if you want to know how to handle a tough MIL,talk to me 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by LaRoyalHighness(f): 3:11pm On Feb 24, 2015 |
Been married for 5 years. In all honesty, I doubt I would/can forgive my mil. I know this hurts my husband but seriously his inactions when it comes to his mother 's flaws has made me indifferent. I don't think I want to be her friend honestly. *I must be a terrible person. Ok I will share how I got here in my next post.[quote author=babyosisi 4 Likes 1 Share |
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