₦airaland Forum

xynerise:
Explore God's gift freely

cybrninja:
hmm...no wonder they say experience is the best teacher

opustjk:
Here's the scenario.

Its a hot afternoon,you're wearing a suit and you're stuck inside a hot crowded elevator.

The air in the small space is barely breathable with the stenchy combination of mouth odours and damp undeodorised armpits.


Beads of sweat form on your forehead and slowly roll down your face.

At this point you're pissed .It seems this Popular Government building in Port Harcourt (names withheld) haven't serviced their elevators since the Country's Independence.The doors simply refuse to open.You and the other nine or ten occupants of this metallic box are trapped.

Now, just when you think things couldn't get any worse, somebody FARTS!


A silent fart.

And not just any silent fart,but the HALL-OF-FAME- MOTHER of all silent farts.

The kind that demonically assaults nostrils and makes one dizzy.

Guys, this was no joke.It was the dilemma I found my self in last week.And trust me it wasn't funny.

In a few seconds, the foulness of the fart mingled with the heat, and already
terrible mouth and armpit odors, to form a Vile stench that felt like the presence of an evil spirit.

All around me, people were murmuring and making uncomfortable sounds. We stared at each other suspiciously as if to discern the identity of the culprit. But it was pointless. Whom ever the "FARTER" was, he/she was in there with with us, disguised behind the same look of disgust.

"Chai!" came the voice of a man from behind me.

I considered holding my breath, but then realised that would mean inhaling large amounts of this horrendous fart to do so.Scratch that idea!

"Na God go punish de pessin wey do dis kine tin!"[/i]spat a heavy set woman on my right. I eyed her closely. Was she capable of such a stench?


An eternity passed.

The murmuring continued.

Soon, the elevator doors opened. We all rushed out of our stinky confinement into the embrace of the fresh air. The ordeal had lasted only 2 or 3 minutes, but felt like a week.

The memory of that fart still lingers in my mind like a bad dream.I think people should be fined for farting in such places. Its just...just...[i]wrong.
I mean, seriously.


Moral of the story??

If before leaving the house today,you consumed large amounts of beans in any form (e.g akara or moi moi), or had some boiled eggs with some powdered milk, and then you find yourself in a small confined space with other people,I am pleading with you.......as a Christian and fellow human being...RESPECT YOURSELF!

Please be considerate to individuals within your immediate air space. The contents of your stomach are nobody's business. Not everything's worth sharing.

Life is a choice.
So choose wisely.
Enough said!



http://opustjkwrites..com/?m=0

slimzypink:
me I don't send.. I fart for fun

Knock !!

Knock !!

who is there?

Ayew!!

Ayew Gana dance ooo if I show you my money

opustjk:
Here's the scenario.

Its a hot afternoon,you're wearing a suit and you're stuck inside a hot crowded elevator.

The air in the small space is barely breathable with the stenchy combination of mouth odours and damp undeodorised armpits.


Beads of sweat form on your forehead and slowly roll down your face.

At this point you're pissed .It seems this Popular Government building in Port Harcourt (names withheld) haven't serviced their elevators since the Country's Independence.The doors simply refuse to open.You and the other nine or ten occupants of this metallic box are trapped.

Now, just when you think things couldn't get any worse, somebody FARTS!


A silent fart.

And not just any silent fart,but the HALL-OF-FAME- MOTHER of all silent farts.

The kind that demonically assaults nostrils and makes one dizzy.

Guys, this was no joke.It was the dilemma I found my self in last week.And trust me it wasn't funny.

In a few seconds, the foulness of the fart mingled with the heat, and already
terrible mouth and armpit odors, to form a Vile stench that felt like the presence of an evil spirit.

All around me, people were murmuring and making uncomfortable sounds. We stared at each other suspiciously as if to discern the identity of the culprit. But it was pointless. Whom ever the "FARTER" was, he/she was in there with with us, disguised behind the same look of disgust.

"Chai!" came the voice of a man from behind me.

I considered holding my breath, but then realised that would mean inhaling large amounts of this horrendous fart to do so.Scratch that idea!

"Na God go punish de pessin wey do dis kine tin!"[/i]spat a heavy set woman on my right. I eyed her closely. Was she capable of such a stench?


An eternity passed.

The murmuring continued.

Soon, the elevator doors opened. We all rushed out of our stinky confinement into the embrace of the fresh air. The ordeal had lasted only 2 or 3 minutes, but felt like a week.

The memory of that fart still lingers in my mind like a bad dream.I think people should be fined for farting in such places. Its just...just...[i]wrong.
I mean, seriously.


Moral of the story??

If before leaving the house today,you consumed large amounts of beans in any form (e.g akara or moi moi), or had some boiled eggs with some powdered milk, and then you find yourself in a small confined space with other people,I am pleading with you.......as a Christian and fellow human being...RESPECT YOURSELF!

Please be considerate to individuals within your immediate air space. The contents of your stomach are nobody's business. Not everything's worth sharing.

Life is a choice.
So choose wisely.
Enough said!



http://opustjkwrites..com/?m=0

Ishilove:
First to comment...yaaaay!!




That aside, I feel you bro. I've been in that kind of situation, the only difference was that it was in a cab in Ondo state. Those familiar with Ondo cabs will know that the drivers squeeze 6/7 passengers into a space for four.

So there I was in this cab, on a very hot and sunny day (they don't call Ondo 'The Sunshine State' for nothing) when this Mama, should be in her 60s, raised one aged buttock and let one rip. She now turned to us her co-passengers, smiling and ignoring our shocked and annoyed glares, said cheerfully "e pele o. Ma binu" (trans: pardon me).

And oh, did that motha stink! In the humid and cramped space!!

What could we do? In Africa we respect our elderly citizens so ignoring Mama's infuriatingly cheerful demeanour, someone collected the broken winder from the driver and cranked the windows all the way down. This was after the driver had initially refused to hand it over because according to him, he couldn't find it. However, by the time Mama Agbalagba Nla released the gaseous remnants of her breakfast, nobody told the driver to fish out the missing winder in a jiffy.

Who wan die

soldierdollar:
Lol

Some farts could be concentrated that you could almost taste it . The most dangerous farts are from Yoruba girls . #experience

opustjk:
Here's the scenario.

Its a hot afternoon,you're wearing a suit and you're stuck inside a hot crowded elevator.

The air in the small space is barely breathable with the stenchy combination of mouth odours and damp undeodorised armpits.


Beads of sweat form on your forehead and slowly roll down your face.

At this point you're pissed .It seems this Popular Government building in Port Harcourt (names withheld) haven't serviced their elevators since the Country's Independence.The doors simply refuse to open.You and the other nine or ten occupants of this metallic box are trapped.

Now, just when you think things couldn't get any worse, somebody FARTS!


A silent fart.

And not just any silent fart,but the HALL-OF-FAME- MOTHER of all silent farts.

The kind that demonically assaults nostrils and makes one dizzy.

Guys, this was no joke.It was the dilemma I found my self in last week.And trust me it wasn't funny.

In a few seconds, the foulness of the fart mingled with the heat, and already
terrible mouth and armpit odors, to form a Vile stench that felt like the presence of an evil spirit.

All around me, people were murmuring and making uncomfortable sounds. We stared at each other suspiciously as if to discern the identity of the culprit. But it was pointless. Whom ever the "FARTER" was, he/she was in there with with us, disguised behind the same look of disgust.

"Chai!" came the voice of a man from behind me.

I considered holding my breath, but then realised that would mean inhaling large amounts of this horrendous fart to do so.Scratch that idea!

"Na God go punish de pessin wey do dis kine tin!"[/i]spat a heavy set woman on my right. I eyed her closely. Was she capable of such a stench?


An eternity passed.

The murmuring continued.

Soon, the elevator doors opened. We all rushed out of our stinky confinement into the embrace of the fresh air. The ordeal had lasted only 2 or 3 minutes, but felt like a week.

The memory of that fart still lingers in my mind like a bad dream.I think people should be fined for farting in such places. Its just...just...[i]wrong.
I mean, seriously.


Moral of the story??

If before leaving the house today,you consumed large amounts of beans in any form (e.g akara or moi moi), or had some boiled eggs with some powdered milk, and then you find yourself in a small confined space with other people,I am pleading with you.......as a Christian and fellow human being...RESPECT YOURSELF!

Please be considerate to individuals within your immediate air space. The contents of your stomach are nobody's business. Not everything's worth sharing.

Life is a choice.
So choose wisely.
Enough said!



http://opustjkwrites..com/?m=0

opustjk:
Here's the scenario.

Its a hot afternoon,you're wearing a suit and you're stuck inside a hot crowded elevator.

The air in the small space is barely breathable with the stenchy combination of mouth odours and damp undeodorised armpits.


Beads of sweat form on your forehead and slowly roll down your face.

At this point you're pissed .It seems this Popular Government building in Port Harcourt (names withheld) haven't serviced their elevators since the Country's Independence.The doors simply refuse to open.You and the other nine or ten occupants of this metallic box are trapped.

Now, just when you think things couldn't get any worse, somebody FARTS!


A silent fart.

And not just any silent fart,but the HALL-OF-FAME- MOTHER of all silent farts.

The kind that demonically assaults nostrils and makes one dizzy.

Guys, this was no joke.It was the dilemma I found my self in last week.And trust me it wasn't funny.

In a few seconds, the foulness of the fart mingled with the heat, and already
terrible mouth and armpit odors, to form a Vile stench that felt like the presence of an evil spirit.

All around me, people were murmuring and making uncomfortable sounds. We stared at each other suspiciously as if to discern the identity of the culprit. But it was pointless. Whom ever the "FARTER" was, he/she was in there with with us, disguised behind the same look of disgust.

"Chai!" came the voice of a man from behind me.

I considered holding my breath, but then realised that would mean inhaling large amounts of this horrendous fart to do so.Scratch that idea!

"Na God go punish de pessin wey do dis kine tin!"[/i]spat a heavy set woman on my right. I eyed her closely. Was she capable of such a stench?


An eternity passed.

The murmuring continued.

Soon, the elevator doors opened. We all rushed out of our stinky confinement into the embrace of the fresh air. The ordeal had lasted only 2 or 3 minutes, but felt like a week.

The memory of that fart still lingers in my mind like a bad dream.I think people should be fined for farting in such places. Its just...just...[i]wrong.
I mean, seriously.


Moral of the story??

If before leaving the house today,you consumed large amounts of beans in any form (e.g akara or moi moi), or had some boiled eggs with some powdered milk, and then you find yourself in a small confined space with other people,I am pleading with you.......as a Christian and fellow human being...RESPECT YOURSELF!

Please be considerate to individuals within your immediate air space. The contents of your stomach are nobody's business. Not everything's worth sharing.

Life is a choice.
So choose wisely.
Enough said!



http://opustjkwrites..com/?m=0

Akalia:
hi, R u new on here?

Ishilove:
First to comment...yaaaay!!




That aside, I feel you bro. I've been in that kind of situation, the only difference was that it was in a cab in Ondo state. Those familiar with Ondo cabs will know that the drivers squeeze 6/7 passengers into a space for four.

So there I was in this cab, on a very hot and sunny day (they don't call Ondo 'The Sunshine State' for nothing) when this Mama, should be in her 60s, raised one aged buttock and let one rip. She now turned to us her co-passengers, smiling and ignoring our shocked and annoyed glares, said cheerfully "e pele o. Ma binu" (trans: pardon me).

And oh, did that motha stink! In the humid and cramped space!!

What could we do? In Africa we respect our elderly citizens so ignoring Mama's infuriatingly cheerful demeanour, someone collected the broken winder from the driver and cranked the windows all the way down. This was after the driver had initially refused to hand it over because according to him, he couldn't find it. However, by the time Mama Agbalagba Nla released the gaseous remnants of her breakfast, nobody told the driver to fish out the missing winder in a jiffy.

Who wan die