The Dumbest Lies - Romance

The Dumbest Lies - Romance - Nairaland

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The Dumbest Lies by Laitesmart(op): 9:03am On Mar 09, 2015

Bracing myself for some of the funniest comments about lies that I have ever read!!!!

Re: The Dumbest Lies by falconey(m): 9:07am On Mar 09, 2015

" The last time I did it was 2years ago"

Re: The Dumbest Lies by falconey(m): 9:07am On Mar 09, 2015

Re: The Dumbest Lies by djeezy(m): 9:09am On Mar 09, 2015

1.She said you're the first, believe me. My hymen was
broken when I used a dil.do during self service......ehmm clears
throat.

2. I hate sex undecided

From the same person embarassed

2 Likes

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Tallesty1(m): 9:09am On Mar 09, 2015

I love you.

But I think I was dumber cause I believed her.

2 Likes

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:11am On Mar 09, 2015

I'm still a virgin.....

while she never knew her ex is a friend of mine and the dude already told me about how he used to lash her on a daily basis....

Re: The Dumbest Lies by CloneX: 9:11am On Mar 09, 2015

[color=#000030]"We're just friends" [/color]

1 Like

Re: The Dumbest Lies by sinaj(f): 9:14am On Mar 09, 2015

he said I can trust him...

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Rexhenrex(m): 9:15am On Mar 09, 2015*

"MY EX boyfriend plays in Arsenal, his name
is Chinedu"
Which chinedu dh Arsenal huh

ive never eaten amala

ive never tasted alomo or paraga
Me?

ive never taken okada

ive never ever had pure water

i only wear human hair o
its from Dubai me i dont ever shop
here o

i have four blackberry handsets

noo i dont kiss on the first date

after clubbing i cant go to a guys place

without make-up i still have a fine face

im serious this is my first time
nowwww.

Like say na me them lie for pass o, if you believe any of this line na im be say ur mumu don pass cut off mark. grin

1 Like

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Beamborla(f): 9:21am On Mar 09, 2015

What of the one you told your ex? huh

1 Like

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:30am On Mar 09, 2015

Well, I was starting to date this guy, many years ago. So one day he invited me to come watch a movie at his flat. It was my 1st time there, mind you. Anyway, the dude started getting all touchy feely with me as we sat side by side on the sofa. I was very nervous so I asked him where the bathroom was, hoping it would distract him & give me more time to compose myself.

As I sat on the toilet, my eyes caught something sticking out of his laundry basket. I went closer & realised that it was a bra. The lying douche have told me that he didn't have a girlfriend & that he was living there alone, so there was no logical reason for him to have a bra lying around. Unless of course he was a cross dresser!

Oh, I knew he wouldn't be sexing ME up after such a discovery. I don't beat around the bush, so I asked him straight up whose bra it was. He didn't have much time to think up a convincing lie, so he just blurted out that it was HIS! Like, 4real!? I left without saying another word.

I later found out that he was either married or was living with this person, but his lady was not there fulltime because her job had her transferred to another province. She must have been visiting & left, by the time I was next on the stud's new mission. Mission. .IMPOSSIBLE grin

3 Likes

Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:30am On Mar 09, 2015

CloneX:
[color=#000030]"We're just friends" [/color]

Bro!

Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:32am On Mar 09, 2015

PunkyBrewster:
Well, I was starting to date this guy, many years ago. So one day he invited me to come watch a movie at his flat. It was my 1st time there, mind you. Anyway, the dude started getting all touchy feely with me as we sat side by side on the sofa. I was very nervous so I asked him where the bathroom was, hoping it would distract him & give me more time to compose myself.

As I sat on the toilet, my eyes caught something sticking out of his laundry basket. I went closer & realised that it was a bra. The lying douche have told me that he didn't have a girlfriend & that he was living there alone, so there was no logical reason for him to have a bra lying around. Unless of course he was a cross dresser!

Oh, I knew he wouldn't be sexing ME up after such a discovery. I don't beat around the bush, so I asked him straight up whose bra it was. He didn't have much time to think up a convincing lie, so he just blurted out that it was HIS! Like, 4real!? I left without saying another word.

I later found out that he was either married or was living with this person, but his lady was not there fulltime because her job had her transferred to another province. She must have been visiting & left, by the time I was next on the stud's new mission. Mission. .IMPOSSIBLE

So his sister cannot forget her bra in his house abi?

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:33am On Mar 09, 2015

Beamborla:
What of the one you told your ex?

tell me ur lies,

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:35am On Mar 09, 2015

naijaboiy:
So his sister cannot forget her bra in his house abi?

Why create him a fake sister now? Like I said, he had a live in lover/wife! No ghost sister.

Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:36am On Mar 09, 2015

PunkyBrewster:
Why create him a fake sister now? Like I said, he had a live in love! No ghost sister.

I cant create,,i'm not God.

If you wanted to shag him you would have. You didn't need those excuses.

1 Like

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:40am On Mar 09, 2015

naijaboiy:
I cant create,,i'm not God.

If you wanted to shag him you would have. You didn't need those excuses.

My libido flopped like a poorly done soufflé after realising he was a two timing swine. I've got standards & boundaries. I don't boink liars. So that was enough reason for me to leave him nursing his D.

Re: The Dumbest Lies by leshluap(m): 9:40am On Mar 09, 2015

I don't like money.

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:40am On Mar 09, 2015*

Men and lies,smh...

Re: The Dumbest Lies by OohMpa: 9:42am On Mar 09, 2015

PunkyBrewster:
Well, I was starting to date this guy, many years ago. So one day he invited me to come watch a movie at his flat. It was my 1st time there, mind you. Anyway, the dude started getting all touchy feely with me as we sat side by side on the sofa. I was very nervous so I asked him where the bathroom was, hoping it would distract him & give me more time to compose myself.

As I sat on the toilet, my eyes caught something sticking out of his laundry basket. I went closer & realised that it was a bra. The lying douche have told me that he didn't have a girlfriend & that he was living there alone, so there was no logical reason for him to have a bra lying around. Unless of course he was a cross dresser!

Oh, I knew he wouldn't be sexing ME up after such a discovery. I don't beat around the bush, so I asked him straight up whose bra it was. He didn't have much time to think up a convincing lie, so he just blurted out that it was HIS! Like, 4real!? I left without saying another word.

I later found out that he was either married or was living with this person, but his lady was not there fulltime because her job had her transferred to another province. She must have been visiting & left, by the time I was next on the stud's new mission. Mission. .IMPOSSIBLE

[color=#808000]Women....always interrupting a man's konji angry

For all we know he could be a bra collector angry

[/color]

1 Like

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Beamborla(f): 9:42am On Mar 09, 2015

Ipledge:
tell me ur lies,

I don't like money

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:43am On Mar 09, 2015

OohMpa:
[color=#808000]Women....always interrupting a man's konji

For all we know he could be a bra collector [/color]

Well, he wasn't a bra collector! How ridiculous!

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:43am On Mar 09, 2015

Beamborla:
I don't like money

and ur bf believe

You are my only gf,that's my worst lie

Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:45am On Mar 09, 2015

PunkyBrewster:
My libido flopped like a poorly done soufflé after realising he was a two timing swine. I've got standards & boundaries. I don't boink liars. So that was enough reason for me to leave him nursing his D.

And you haven't lied yourself?

He's just one out of the many guys who have lied to you and still shagged you

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Beamborla(f): 9:50am On Mar 09, 2015

Ipledge:
and ur bf believe

You are my only gf,that's my worst lie

Lol...
I've never said that to anyone.

My dumbest lie? what lie can that be...
Gaskiya! I'm not sure I've told any dumb lie cheesy

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:50am On Mar 09, 2015

naijaboiy:

And you haven't lied yourself?

He's just one out of the many guys who have lied to you and still shagged you

Correction, he didn't shag me. Maybe he shagged himself though after I left him with blue balls. Who knows? Who cares?

Btw, I haven't been with that many guys angry

?

I feel my nose growing? Is it showing? Kikikiki

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Tapout(m): 9:54am On Mar 09, 2015

naijaboiy:
I cant create,,i'm not God.

If you wanted to shag him you would have. You didn't need those excuses.

3 Likes

Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:54am On Mar 09, 2015

PunkyBrewster:
Correction, he didn't shag me. Maybe he shagged himself though after I left him with blue balls. Who knows? Who cares?

Btw, I haven't been with that many guys ?

I feel my nose growing? Is it showing? Kikikiki

@bolded you're funny in a sexy type of way

He didn't shag you but other guys who have lied had.

Pinocchio

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:56am On Mar 09, 2015

naijaboiy:
@bolded you're funny in a sexy type of way

He didn't shag you but other guys who have lied had.

Pinocchio

They got lucky, for if I knew *cocks pistol*

grin

Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 10:00am On Mar 09, 2015

PunkyBrewster:
They got lucky, for if I knew *cocks pistol*

You cant turn back the hands of the clock

So what are the lies you've told to stop a guy from shagging you

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Laitesmart(op): 10:06am On Mar 09, 2015

Beamborla:
Lol...
I've never said that to anyone.

My dumbest lie? what lie can that be...
Gaskiya! I'm not sure I've told any dumb lie

Let's give it to u!!!
The dumbest lie is not having lied ever!!!!

Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 10:19am On Mar 09, 2015

naijaboiy:
You cant turn back the hands of the clock

So what are the lies you've told to stop a guy from shagging you

Please, don't try to turn me into a serial killer because I still have a few scores to settle with some of them. Its better to just let sleeping dogs lie & not think about the past.

Lie I've told?

Hold on to your seat...
Dated another guy, can't remember where he was from but he wasn't from my country. Anyways, his friend was throwing a house warming party so he asked me to go with him. There were about 8 people (4 females + 4 males) & one tiny car. So all of us just packed into the car & I sat on my guy's lap. As I sat I started to feel really uncomfortable because something hard was poking my butt. It was during the time when Nokia 5110 was the ish & all the trendy people had one. I thought I was sitting on a huge phone lol, so I put my hand under, to shift it & got shocked when I realised what I was touching. The guy was gigantic! It felt like the trunk of a small tree.

I had to fake several periods before he got tired of me & disappeared altogether. Thank God for that cheesy

1 Like

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