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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives (269115 Views)
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Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by urchbarbie(f): 9:07am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Hmmm! I understnd wat ure saying dear! Its just d way ure going abt it. I knw some ladies see men as money machine to take care of dier family wahala. Make her understnd dat ure not against taking care of her family, but she has to put in efforts in it. Let her understnd dat she has to be industrious. If u can set her up in sometin dat can bring in funds. There r decent biz women do dis days dat are quiet lucrative. That way, she won't be an outright oriaku (wealth consumer). When she has succesfully commenced dis biz and u tink its yielding, then u can marry her. This way, u ensure she is generating funds and ur fears alayed ichidodo: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 9:29am On Mar 18, 2015 |
urchbarbie:hmmm...i never thought of that before,it could work only if she's the hustling type,she once disclosed during our off days that her vision in her life was to be a preacher's wife...preacher's wife?!?!...That should give you a psycho-analytical sneak peek of what i'm working with. I just felt the need to jolt her senses with my four year program, if she is my type (patient,loyal, hardworking with a keen eye to see and harness potentials) then she shouldnt have any problems with my terms and i wouldn't mind her baggage....give and take. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 9:32am On Mar 18, 2015 |
ichidodo: I understand your concerns. I would seem mechanical too if anyone reads of my life plan. It would be very frustrating to have a partner who can't fit into it. You know what you want. Go get it. Don't marry out of pity nor allow emotional blackmail. But talk to her first and make her understand what you want from her, why and how. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 9:45am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Yadoctora:Thanx dear,right now,the relationship is on life support as each turn i take to present my case she becames evasive and downright decietful.She has resorted to gimmicks peculiar to herself by not speaking with mi -this kicks off an emotional roller coaster where she remains hidden for weeks...then one lonely day...a phone call,a quiet squeaky small voice and all is alright again- in this very critical moment.You are right though,i cannot yoke myself with someone out of pity, sometimes i can be compassionte to my own disadvantage.. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 9:54am On Mar 18, 2015 |
ichidodo: You alone can help yourself. You know enough about her already. I'll advise you make your decision fast. You should not take too much more of her time if your decision is to let her go. 3 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by urchbarbie(f): 9:57am On Mar 18, 2015 |
Dats true! Then u both need to consider wat ure getting into so no one lives in regret. If she is ready to sacrifice her "ministers wife" vision, then uld come and meet her halfway. Uld av to sacrifice certain tinx to make "this" work. In all Gods grace for every major decision. Marriage is not chess(not a game of luck) ichidodo: 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by urchbarbie(f): 10:01am On Mar 18, 2015 |
We are adults and have medula. We can tink and discern more dan u can imagine. Tnx for ur concern dinachi: 15 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 10:27am On Mar 18, 2015 |
veave:It is well dear, there are moments like that, when everything seems standstill. Just relax your mind and do the best you can to get it all figured out. Do not let depression set in as that won't get the project done. Take a deep breathe and trust yourself and God to get it done. You are in my prayers. Oya smile. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 11:12am On Mar 18, 2015 |
A round of applause for you. I like men that are practical, pragmatic, realist and fortright. We are very few, they say am pessimistic, not flexible and strict. ichidodo: 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Idowuogbo(f): 11:27am On Mar 18, 2015 |
dinachi:mehn! You mean business ooo 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by justi4jesu(f): 11:33am On Mar 18, 2015 |
dinachi: Go sort out your grievances with the OP if you have any and quit being a troll on the internet. 5 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ladynice: 12:03pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
dinachi: pls go get a life 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by veave(f): 12:25pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
delightful1: thanks dearie. I appreciate. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by gleatz: 12:52pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
dinachi: Chai! Chisos!! Who do you like this and who has made you judge over her marriage? Stop hating! 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by gleatz: 1:11pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
veave: Veave darling, its well with your soul. Just do the much you can @ a particular time, dnt sweat it, ok. It will end in praise, I trust God for a miracle. God is ur muscle babe. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by gleatz: 1:27pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
@Ichidodo; I understand your plight but I want to plead on behalf of your babe. Why not give her some time, say after her NYSC and see her approach and attitude to life, give her a benefit of doubt and let's see if she would turn around for good. Sometimes when we have all we wants @ our disposal we tend to think that's how life is. For example, I enjoyed so much luxury while in school courtesy of my father cos as at then, I was the only one in the university. But when my 3 siblings gained admission almost at the same time, they had to share what I was enjoying. It was then it dawned on me that Dada can't give me all I ever wanted. For years now, I ve been working and fending for mysef and even give to my siblings and sometimes my parents. Its a phase. Now I can't see mysef being a full time housewife doing nothing, being @ the mercy of my hubby(in future) for every damn need I hope she would see reasons with you soonest and change for the better. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by stages: 4:03pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
cococandy: evening school oh ma sista. I close work and go to skool. 6pm to 10pm. With God's grace I will end in june. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by cococandy(f): 4:07pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
stages: Wow.ok. Goodluck. Amen |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by blaizze(f): 4:18pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
dinachi: even if her marriage is hell, which I doubt, nobody asked u to 'open nyash' her. u'll have to agree that she's a really wise and smart woman and she gives really good advice. It will do you well to just read and learn or better still ignore the thread. I know you are going to throw insults and curses at me. bring it on. 16 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by stages: 4:26pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
cococandy: Thanks coco 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by zeb04(f): 4:45pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
dinachi:and you know these because you are her housemaid? 20 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by xklassic: 5:04pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
God bless the originator of this thread, as well as the ladies contributing positively. My cousin has been dating this guy for a year and six months. They are love and respect each other. Last week the guy told my cousin that he has a 4 year old daughter. He got his uni gf pregnant , she had the baby. After weaning the baby, his family collected the girl from her , and she left the country. My cousin's fear is that, the lady might come back and cause problem between her and the guy. The guy said his reason for not marrying the baby mama is that he was unemployed and the lady is materialistic. He loves my cousin so much. My cousin is willing to accept the daughter as her own, but her fear is that the lady might come back and want to come back to the guy's life. Pls mamas, should she go ahead and settle down with him despite this, or wait for sometime to make sure the lady won't come back to ferment trouble. P.S He is making plans to pay her dowry this easter. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by bennyrazz: 5:48pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
dinachi:lmao 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 6:12pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
gleatz:Let us see how it goes...currently she isn't speaking to mi. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 6:49pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
positivec: I know where your mom is coming from,who wouldn't want an inlaw with bags of money as opposed to a struggling one. I have written here that marrying a man you love dearly with potentials is just as good as marrying a rich man if not better A man with a zeal to succeed will make it eventually and there is a sort of contentment it brings when you know you were part of his success. Regarding the Yoruba angle I also know where your mom is coming from and what her fears are. The number one reason Igbo parents advise their daughters against Yoruba men is that Yorubas are more likely to marry several other wives and keep mistresses that have babies for them unlike Igbo men.I am not saying Igbo men never do same but it is not as rampant as it is with southwesterners. Your father most likely married just your mom,that fiancé of yours may be from a polygamous family with a lot of step siblings and half relatives unlike you. And our parents fear their daughter may end up in that way. Ask your mom to tell you what her real fears are and you'll see that it is not far from what I have said. It is up to your fiancé to allay those fears Same thing I told herzumpther.Her dad must judge Lekan for Lekan not for bring Yoruba. Your mom should actually ask the young man to look her in the eyes and make that promise that he will not take on other wives or mistresses. Could I have married a man without a college degree ,my answer is no because education meant much to me In terms of attractiveness. But that is me If you love this man enough,work on making your mom comfortable with it. And like I always say,if your mom doesn't give her consent,I don't care if the man's house is a stone's throw from your family compound,don't marry anyone without your parent's consent. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 6:59pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
ichidodo: Are you a preacher? It looks like this won't work o You better part ways now The babe has already told you what she wants unless, you are planning to open a church soon It's like a man telling me from the get go that I will be a housewife, or that he will open a supermarket for me to be buying and selling,that will be a reason to quit. My ex fiancé had dreams of being a politician and I couldn't see myself wearing asho ebi and campaigning on podiums and that was it ( amongst other things) Take that girl for who she is and what she has told you not for who you wish she could become 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by CoCoLav(f): 7:13pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
ichidodo: @26 a lady already knows what she wants for her future and its difficult to change that. If her vision doesn't align with yours then you should let her go. You don't just need a wife, you need a partner...a partner that shares your dreams and vision. Even though your post came off as 'mechanical' as a poster above said, i must commend you for thinking witg your head and not with your emotions. I however do not see the reason for the 4 year thingy. If you are gonna take the plunge....take it and hope for thebest. The 4-year plan you propose isnt plausible because as soon as the first step is taken, theres gonna be a lot of family pressure where you just might be faced with an ultimatum. If you have serious doubts, its better you let her go so nobody's time is wasted. She aint getting any younger. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 7:40pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
CoCoLav:To be honest i really do want to take the plunge but the fear her baggage could bring mi to economic ruin remains very palpable...i do not want to lose my freedom,privacy and creature comforts to her family just because of 'love' all i'm saying is, i really do deserve a good headstart in this marriage thing instead of running at a disadvantage at the very least i deserve time maybe four years or less to watch her approach....The best we can do right now is wait till after Nysc as many things may happen btw now and then...Maybe friendzone this and see what comes around the river bend for her...A new guy?..A job?. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 8:05pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
babyosisi:Yes,ma'am.... |
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