ichidodo:
No please don't get mi wrong...i'm not that mechanical infact i'm very romantic to the core and i appreciate how this makes my world go round,really.I understand She has had a hard childhood (late dad) and so isn't 'too enthusiastic' to being romantic and all therefore i have had to be the live wire and sometimes the freak in this relationship(each time i come away feeling emotionally drained and exhausted)....I just had to show my mechanical side when she wanted mechanical steps to getting married let us forget -the image of me hurt with the knowledge that all my romanticism had gone to waste on her- for another topic cuz she said she doesn't feel appreciated or loved enough(Her idea of love is marriage and unloading all her family's problems on mi boyish shoulders),.Is it bad for a man to be honest,practical or mechanical and forthright?I know some guys that will abscond...but i choose to step up and that's who i am.

urchbarbie:
Hmmm! I understnd wat ure saying dear! Its just d way ure going abt it. I knw some ladies see men as money machine to take care of dier family wahala. Make her understnd dat ure not against taking care of her family, but she has to put in efforts in it. Let her understnd dat she has to be industrious. If u can set her up in sometin dat can bring in funds. There r decent biz women do dis days dat are quiet lucrative. That way, she won't be an outright oriaku (wealth consumer). When she has succesfully commenced dis biz and u tink its yielding, then u can marry her. This way, u ensure she is generating funds and ur fears alayed

ichidodo:
No please don't get mi wrong...i'm not that mechanical infact i'm very romantic to the core and i appreciate how this makes my world go round,really.I understand She has had a hard childhood (late dad) and so isn't 'too enthusiastic' to being romantic and all therefore i have had to be the live wire and sometimes the freak in this relationship(each time i come away feeling emotionally drained and exhausted)....I just had to show my mechanical side when she wanted mechanical steps to getting married let us forget -the image of me hurt with the knowledge that all my romanticism had gone to waste on her- for another topic cuz she said she doesn't feel appreciated or loved enough(Her idea of love is marriage and unloading all her family's problems on mi boyish shoulders),.Is it bad for a man to be honest,practical or mechanical and forthright?I know some guys that will abscond...but i choose to step up and that's who i am.

Yadoctora:


I understand your concerns. I would seem mechanical too if anyone reads of my life plan. It would be very frustrating to have a partner who can't fit into it.
You know what you want. Go get it. Don't marry out of pity nor allow emotional blackmail. But talk to her first and make her understand what you want from her, why and how.

ichidodo:
Thanx dear,right now,the relationship is on life support as each turn i take to present my case she becames evasive and downright decietful.She has resorted to gimmicks peculiar to herself by not speaking with mi -this kicks off an emotional roller coaster where she remains hidden for weeks...then one lonely day...a phone call,a quiet squeaky small voice and all is alright again- in this very critical moment.You are right though,i cannot yoke myself with someone out of pity, sometimes i can be compassionte to my own disadvantage..

ichidodo:
hmmm...i never thought of that before,it could work only if she's the hustling type,she once disclosed during our off days that her vision in her life was to be a preacher's wife...preacher's wife?!?!...That should give you a psycho-analytical sneak peek of what i'm working with. I just felt the need to jolt her senses with my four year program, if she is my type (patient,loyal, hardworking with a keen eye to see and harness potentials) then she shouldnt have any problems with my terms and i wouldn't mind her baggage....give and take.

dinachi:
Scam alert! The OP is a discredited liar who sells her fake lifestyle for a living. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth in respect of her marriage is a fabricated story. Her marriage is hell on earth.

veave:
Please guys pray for me. I'm almost getting depressed






I've been on this thing on my project for weeks now and am not getting any headway.

ichidodo:
No please don't get mi wrong...i'm not that mechanical infact i'm very romantic to the core and i appreciate how this makes my world go round,really.I understand She has had a hard childhood (late dad) and so isn't 'too enthusiastic' to being romantic and all therefore i have had to be the live wire and sometimes the freak in this relationship(each time i come away feeling emotionally drained and exhausted)....I just had to show my mechanical side when she wanted mechanical steps to getting married let us forget -the image of me hurt with the knowledge that all my romanticism had gone to waste on her- for another topic cuz she said she doesn't feel appreciated or loved enough(Her idea of love is marriage and unloading all her family's problems on mi boyish shoulders),.Is it bad for a man to be honest,practical or mechanical and forthright?I know some guys that will abscond...but i choose to step up and that's who i am.

dinachi:
Scam alert! The OP is a discredited liar who sells her fake lifestyle for a living. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth in respect of her marriage is a fabricated story. Her marriage is hell on earth.

dinachi:
Scam alert! The OP is a discredited liar who sells her fake lifestyle for a living. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth in respect of her marriage is a fabricated story. Her marriage is hell on earth.

dinachi:
Scam alert! The OP is a discredited liar who sells her fake lifestyle for a living. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth in respect of her marriage is a fabricated story. Her marriage is hell on earth.

delightful1:

It is well dear, there are moments like that, when everything seems standstill. Just relax your mind and do the best you can to get it all figured out.

Do not let depression set in as that won't get the project done. Take a deep breathe and trust yourself and God to get it done. You are in my prayers.

Oya smile.

dinachi:
Scam alert! The OP is a discredited liar who sells her fake lifestyle for a living. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth in respect of her marriage is a fabricated story. Her marriage is hell on earth.

veave:
Please guys pray for me. I'm almost getting depressed






I've been on this thing on my project for weeks now and am not getting any headway.

cococandy:


How are you doing banking and schooling?
Online school?

stages:


evening school oh ma sista. I close work and go to skool. 6pm to 10pm. With God's grace I will end in june.

dinachi:
Scam alert! The OP is a discredited liar who sells her fake lifestyle for a living. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth in respect of her marriage is a fabricated story. Her marriage is hell on earth.

cococandy:


Wow.ok. Goodluck.
Amen

dinachi:
Scam alert! The OP is a discredited liar who sells her fake lifestyle for a living. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth in respect of her marriage is a fabricated story. Her marriage is hell on earth.

dinachi:
Scam alert! The OP is a discredited liar who sells her fake lifestyle for a living. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth in respect of her marriage is a fabricated story. Her marriage is hell on earth.

gleatz:
@Ichidodo;
I understand your plight but I want to plead on behalf of your babe. Why not give her some time, say after her NYSC and see her approach and attitude to life, give her a benefit of doubt and let's see if she would turn around for good.

Sometimes when we have all we wants @ our disposal we tend to think that's how life is. For example, I enjoyed so much luxury while in school courtesy of my father cos as at then, I was the only one in the university. But when my 3 siblings gained admission almost at the same time, they had to share what I was enjoying. It was then it dawned on me that Dada can't give me all I ever wanted.

For years now, I ve been working and fending for mysef and even give to my siblings and sometimes my parents. Its a phase. Now I can't see mysef being a full time housewife doing nothing, being @ the mercy of my hubby(in future) for every damn need

I hope she would see reasons with you soonest and change for the better.

positivec:
Thanks mama, but the thing is. He truly wants to further but no enough money. Plus , my mum is always saying the man must be a graduate. Well, she is one but dad is not. She lamented so much how it affected their marriage. To crown it all , am the first child grew up in the west .Am not a tribalist but mum will say don't bring a Yoruba man to the house. I had to introduce my siblings to him. They all liked him, I think mum do too, but when she realized his Yoruba she changed. Yes , am the first girl in my family and I want to marry who I want not with the influence of family or culture. You need to see when she prays about husband, you will think my mum wants to remarry. Dad is late.
When I told my sister's( junior) there only excuse is am the first daughter n u know what your mum will say. This is the man , that has good qualities but they Still hammer on his tribe. His from Lagos , am from Anambra. My question is , I am scared at the same time I feel at peace with the guy. When I met a priest , he told me its better I marry from a poor family that respect me than from a rich one that don't but abuse me. Mum wants a well to do man because she claims she needs an in law that will take care of her and my siblings. The way the marriage thing is hammered on my head plus what have read here. Have just lost that zeal to even continue in my relationship left alone get married.

ichidodo:
hmmm...i never thought of that before,it could work only if she's the hustling type,she once disclosed during our off days that her vision in her life was to be a preacher's wife...preacher's wife?!?!...That should give you a psycho-analytical sneak peek of what i'm working with. I just felt the need to jolt her senses with my four year program, if she is my type (patient,loyal, hardworking with a keen eye to see and harness potentials) then she shouldnt have any problems with my terms and i wouldn't mind her baggage....give and take.

ichidodo:
Let us see how it goes...currently she isn't speaking to mi.

CoCoLav:


@26 a lady already knows what she wants for her future and its difficult to change that. If her vision doesn't align with yours then you should let her go. You don't just need a wife, you need a partner...a partner that shares your dreams and vision. Even though your post came off as 'mechanical' as a poster above said, i must commend you for thinking witg your head and not with your emotions.

I however do not see the reason for the 4 year thingy. If you are gonna take the plunge....take it and hope for thebest. The 4-year plan you propose isnt plausible because as soon as the first step is taken, theres gonna be a lot of family pressure where you just might be faced with an ultimatum.

If you have serious doubts, its better you let her go so nobody's time is wasted. She aint getting any younger.

babyosisi:


Are you a preacher?
It looks like this won't work o
You better part ways now
The babe has already told you what she wants unless, you are planning to open a church soon
It's like a man telling me from the get go that I will be a housewife, or that he will open a supermarket for me to be buying and selling,that will be a reason to quit.
My ex fiancé had dreams of being a politician and I couldn't see myself wearing asho ebi and campaigning on podiums and that was it ( amongst other things)
Take that girl for who she is and what she has told you not for who you wish she could become