₦airaland Forum

Hmmmm...

Women!

A wise man once told me that,there's nothing like falling in love,but you grow in love with you partner. Give it time and you'll get back to your senses. Maybe you're just getting cold feet about the whole wedding brouhaha. Pray more.

treny:
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I'd preferred you left without a comment, you just have to waste space..... The lady needs advice not criticism after all, you might be in worse shoes and we don't Just don't know it

Thank you so much...so many are just quick to criticise....I put this up for constructive critics and good suggestions...Most people are in this situation but just scared to pour out their minds...
Please If you aren't in one's shoe, don't conclude on how he or she should walk, cos you cant really say if the shoe fits or pinches...Thank you.
I appreciate all constructive critics and better suggestions.

i smell divorce, hatereed in the nearest future

in tb Joshua s voice

Naija girls.

sobmos:
A wise man once told me that,there's nothing like falling in love,but you grow in love with you partner. Give it time and you'll get back to your senses. Maybe you're just getting cold feet about the whole wedding brouhaha. Pray more.

Thank you so much...I will be more prayerful

kalakuta11:
Bisi so this is ur plan. You plan to leave me after all ive done for you. Thank God for nairaland for helping me figure out this . You would have told me directly and not plan to destroy my life after marriage.

hmmmmm.Interesting

Down load dis book n movie (FIREPROOF ) as fast as possible.
watch the movie so as to appreciate wat. u are going into.
pray hard n put ur trust in God for total direction.
The grass is only greener where u water it.

If he is not your type tell him off but my advise don't you ever date or bleep a guy you cannot marry. I am married but my wife wasn't the woman of my dream but she is a nice person and she has a feature I love in a woman. I like women with big back side and she has it so I have grown to love her. We have 3 three beautiful kids though. Love is like a child and you will have to grow it. Take a deep breath and think of something you like in a man in this guy, focus on that thing, you will surely love him and things will change.

This biachhh makes me have a sudden dejection for ladies... I just feel like staying single till thy kingdom comes! Their mind is evil and poisonous!!!

1. Does he lack what you (not financially) need in a man?
2. Is there another guy you would rather be with?
3. Can you recall what attracted you to him in the first place?

If the answer to the above questions is 'No', then you need prayers.

9jatatafo:
If he is not your type tell him off but my advise don't you ever date or bleep a guy you cannot marry. I am married but my wife wasn't the woman of my dream but she is a nice person and she has a feature I love in a woman. I like women with big back side and she has it so I have grown to love her. We have 3 three beautiful kids though. Love is like a child and you will have to grow it. Take a deep breath and think of something you like in a man in this guy, focus on that thing, you will surely love him and things will change.

Na wa o!

slap1:
1. Does he lack what you (not financially) need in a man?
2. Is there another guy you would rather be with?
3. Can you recall what attracted you to him in the first place?

If the answer to the above questions is 'No', then you need prayers.

She is already cheating on her fiance...

MOD.. Whoever you are.. That was really funny shiit you did

Looking at your right up, it all boils down to a sexually sterved wife to be, he has everything but lacks down there and that is u why you fell out of love for him.
I will advice u call it quit instead of ruining his life afterwards

Dear sprinkles14, i salute ur courage owing up day u don't want this marriage, but uv dated for 4yrs n i beliv somtin transpired btw u both in d course of ur courtship day has affected ur feelings towards ur fiancé, som tins happen n u just moved on without proper trashing of d issue, dz could av put som doubt n fear of d unknown in u, unconsciously mayb. So i wld advice u take out a day or 2, search ur hrt n scoop out those events, make Dem into a list, then try to list d things n reasons for which u wldnt want to lose him to anoda woman, prayerfuly compare d 2 lists pros n cons, talk to him about d ones day anger u most or scares u about him, then see if u both can com to an agreement on d way forward to prevent future reoccurrences, if after dz steps u r not satisfied n peaceful in ur hrt, dear cal it off having sought for counsel wt ur pastor. Peace!

This is why the population of side chicks won't reduce because there are many ppl looking for what you want to throw away

@op pls stop living in self denial,because I blif u don't knw wot u want. How can u described a responsible man more dan how u just described ur man now. Until majority of u ladies start realising dat marriage is beyond 'I luv him xo much' , 'he is my sugar pie' blah blah blah u may continue to fall into deep mess in d hands of d wrong guys as husband.

My advise is simple. because he is unaware of ur thought now. Kindly tell him how silly u re and let him cry if he wants to and go his way. Than applying d latter u av in mind. because if u do dat. Bleaf me karma is a bitch and u won't go scot free. God will arrange a desire man like u and u will live togeda all d rest of ur life. because u will really hurt d guy beyond his imagination.

Simple

I want to ask, what kept you that long in the relationship?
u are so greedy girl, because of that poor guy's money you couldn't open up to him that you don't feel anything for him. you are so annoying. if you were to be in his shoes, how will you feel?
you think if you dump him you will find a guy like him again? you better think well before you decide else you will regret if you don't see someone that loves you you the way he does.
it's better a guy love you more than you do because it will last long.
by the time you call the marriage off and find your self begging guys to love you or doing everything just to please a guy to love you, u will wish to turn back the hands of clock, you will come to your senses.

MzNelly:
Try to spice up your relationship

And figure out what attracted you to him in the first place

If you still don't feel nothing, call of the wedding.

Happiness is of extreme importance, my dear.

Nothin attracted her to him in d first place!

Billyonaire:
The OP voiced her concern and her feelings, and she is being judged. I congratulate her boldness. So many women and men are going through this exact thing and do not have the boldness to air it, thanks for anonymity that nairaland offers.

OP, do what you have to do. It is not every ejaculation that ends in pregnancy. It is too late to call it off, but not too late for a divorce. In the end, happiness is what matters. I can not say that the guy is not sensing that you do not love him anymore, I bet he knows, but I guess you are just too beautiful for him to lose, but will certainly lose. Life is not fair and we shouldnt expect marriages to work 100%, humans were not naturally intended to be married. We invented marriage.

Thank you

I think this is just a case of a lady who agreed to date a guy while hoping that a better guy will come some day but unfortunately,has gotten herself stuck in the relationship cos the guy she's been waiting for,has refused to show up. If I must advice you,then this is it. There's no point torturing yourself emotionally,and making life miserable for the guy after wedding. Call him as soon as possible and explain how you feel,and let him also know about your concerns. Also get your parents to know and let him also let his family know. Perhaps,you guys can postpone the wedding a bit,to rediscover yourselves,and eventually call it off if nothing changes or improves. Where you're coming from,is shorter than where you are going to;be very careful to avoid a life of "living in bondage".

People Who Did Crazy Things to Ruin Their Wedding

The stress of a wedding can make brides crazy, but Jennifer Wilbanks took it up a notch in what came to be known as the "runaway bride case." In 2005, four days before her wedding to John Mason, Wilbanks disappeared. When she turned up on April 29th, she was in New Mexico saying that she’d been kidnapped by a Hispanic man and a white woman who had also sexually assaulted her. Of course, the whole story was a hoax, and the police quickly picked it apart. She claimed she just “needed some space,” and she got it — Mason married another woman a few years later.

http://www.today.com/id/37846707/ns/today-today_news/t/runaway-bride-says-shes-found-love-last/#.VR62MI7am1s

bid4rich:
My dear, this is a very serious situation you found yourself. Going about it may be tough but you have to do something.

The pain on the guy side may make him not to trust any woman again forever.

You on the other part may find someone attactive but never caring as he is and you may end up with pretenders and life destroyers that may end up with ''had I know''

There are some things also that you will do to someone that if he did not talk, nemesis will surely catch up.

If there is a way you can re-ignite the love you once had when you first started, it will do a lot of good BUT if there is still no love for him I advise you call him today and resolve/dissolve it but you may have to face the consequence later on in life.
NOTE: God is the first factor in marriage and happiness is the second and you cannot find happiness without God. Therefore go to God if he is man for you or not, for a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

Lastly, dont go into that marriage with divorce at heart. Remember God says ''I hate divorce'' May God be with you.

Thank you so much...I will work on this..

Hello Unhappy Bride,
What does happiness mean to you?
What you need in a husband is different from what you look out for in a boyfriend?
To me, you have a good man but you can decide to lose him. It is your choice.
Stop comparing your man with what you watch on TV, hear on Radio or read in the newspapers.
They project a skewed perception of marriage.

Marriage takes a lot of work. Everyone you see happily married today has invested heavily to make it work.
There is nothing like someone will make you happy, it only exists in the figment of your imagination.
In all sincerity, you are not ready for marriage.
As a married man I can tell you that the feeling is not always there but the commitment and vows are stronger.
Marriage demands responsibility, accountability and selflessness.
Your husband to be like every other dude is never going to be perfect at all times in the bedroom, boardroom, in looks, in conduct and many facets of life. My dear, love is a decision. There will always be issues but how you deal with it is critical.

Cheating has never been a way out. It takes a lot from you than you think. It never makes anyone happy
Divorce is not an option. It ruins your present and future.

Whatever the issues, communication and teamwork is the way out. Be the loving and supportive wife a man needs.
Let us stop spiritualising things. This is just someone who wants to be married but still remain single.
Marriage will cost you many things and will give you many things.

Be Prepared. I am married and I am loving it. I should have done it earlier but it is never late.
Discuss the issues with your man. He also wants to live in bliss and not ready to compromise his future.

Be the supportive and long-suffering woman. It pays in the long run.

Pardon my rambling but that is just a piece of my heart.

Regards.

ellabooz:
Women are evil and source of pain.

Be careful who you adopt into your live as wife.

Imagine the unthinkable by this evil minded lady capable of crippling her hubby's wheels of progress.

Please see your pastor for real deliverance.

I think u er being unreasonable here! Mayybe u didn't read her post well! She said that she has been struggling to normalized tins! She hasn't even said she wants to dump him now! Why not try and advice rather than insult!

Mekzmoney:
Did u just say 99%? 99.9% of women do not know wat they really want.....
If u ask a woman she wud say dt she needs a love,caring,rich,Godfearing and handsome or presentable man 4 marriage or dat would swip up her feet. Now she has one and she says there's no connection... And wen she's getin old she wud be goin 4rm chrch to chrch to luk 4 any how husband or probably blame d witches n wizard in her village.
U said ur planning to get married n abandon him or chet on him. Would any reasonable human being tink of such abominable tin?
Who knws, maybe she has been cheating on dis innocent man wen d were courting.
In fact, ur fired

Well said bro..Well said

Do you find him so repulsive that you'd rather relocate to avoid him?

Don't worry,by the time you see him with another woman who knows the worth of a good man and who
would practically worship the ground he walks on, your eye will clear and all the love you had for him will be rekindled though it may be too late.
Pls leave him for a woman more deserving, and never go into any marriage with the intention of cheating.

sprinkles14,

You did not state what the real problem is in this relationship.

Why have you been dating him for the past 4 Years?

Did the disinterest come as a result of marrying him. I mean before the marriage commitment thing were you happy with him? Did you find him interesting and were you faithful?

Is it being tied down and being committed to one guy you are afraid of.

Because from the solutions you propose it seems you want to be a HAPPY FREE BIRD.

1. You want to go overseas, and then file for a divorce. Of course the distance will even make thing worse for the relationship
2. You will cheat on him

These two ideas you have shows you might not really be into the marriage thing. I am not judging you. Just giving you the possibilities so you might find the answers yourself and take a decision you are happy with and responsible for the outcomes whether it is considered morally wrong or right.

There is a risk/uncertainty in every decision you take. Just be comfortable with it.

sprinkles14:
Seriously, have tried all I could to spice up this relationship..not just working out...

....A kindid advice sister-since u've tried and is nt wrkin,Just walk away! If u try d above options u hav 4 ursef-u might end up regretin ur whole life. Wish u well.

pomsky:
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......hi, can you tell me how old you are?
Is he your first?
Have you had other guys chase you in d last 4yrs?
Are you sexually active with him or anoda?
During your courtship, have other guys sparked your interest/feelings
Do you work?
Are you attractive?
Would you like to marry anoda you may have feelings for, or is marriage off your list?
How was your relationship b4 this one?

......expecting your reply, but i just feel i should write this phrase as i await your response:

...."WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"
Waiting.........
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I'm 28 years old,
No, he's not my first
Yes, have had guys but haven't given anyone chance to get close to me
I'm not sexual active with..I tend to turn him down most time and when I'm in a fix..I just do it with satisfaction which he often complains about that I'm too rigid
Presently I'm not working..
I don't know your definition for being attractive, but I can say I'm petite and good, presentable and attractive
Yes I would love to..and besides marriage isn't just on my list for now
No serious relationships in the past.
Thank you

Bunch of unfaithful cheats all around. Four years and this is just coming from you. Truth is u are getting someone's attention. Abeg free the guy asap before u kill him. My unfaithful cheating ex did same after 8 years of commitment. Suddenly stopped having feelings cos of distance. No woman is to be trusted, they're meant to be used and dumped. Marriage is indeed overrated. Bleep them and move on, no one is worth it. Can never trust a lady again. Never put a b**** before my friends.