₦airaland Forum

Teempakguy:
just quote the above verbatim to your parents. meanwhile . . . i think they're concerned that introducing non nigerian genes into their bloodline might lead to undesirable traits.

Excuse me....Nigerian bloodline has been diluted for centuries! There are millions of half Nigerian children/adults around the world! Too late!

Teempakguy:
sexual and moral perversions in your kids.
also, i think your parents want a nigerian wedding for you.

She can still have a Nigerian wedding. Many non-Nigerians are open to other cultures. Maybe Nigerians need to be open as well.

TobiBabiOO:
I've been talking to this Black American guy for about 2 months now and we have allot in common, he's funny I really like him and he seems very serious about dating and getting married. He's been there for me when I had a death in my family, we talk everyday and we've talked almost 12 hours a couple of times. He's really sweet, I do feel I can tell him anything and not be afraid of judgment, so all in all I do see potential in him. My mother HATES the idea and she will have no part in it. I understand her reasons, she feels she will lose me if i marry out of our culture but I don't think that is fair or reasonable. The guy has developed strong feelings for me over a short period of time which I did express concerns over but I do believe that they are genuine, he said he wouldn't let me go so easily and has even considering moving closer to home for his masters so he can be closer to me. I just want the freedom to be happy with who I choose to be with not because I want to please my parents, I don't want to disappoint them but I also don't want my parents telling me who to be with. We've met in person he drove a few hours to come see me during spring break we spent an entire day together, we will also be attending summer classes at the same community college so this entire summer we should be able to get to know each other more. This situation is stressing me out and is completely unfair I understand Naija culture being raised in a Nigerian household but spending most of my life here in America has made me more open minded and I wish my parents would feel the same way. I don't want to disappoint or bring shame to my family but I dont want to jeopardize my happiness because of it, Advice??

Two months is not a good time
Come back and talk to us in ten months
Any man you bring home
Your father is going to have some concern--
one --my little angel has grow up and two what dose this man want from my little girl?
Like the sins he committed-- that give him some concern
You are not bring any shame to your family by dating AA Men
The issue Nigerians have with lot of AA men is that they don't not have the University education like lot of Nigerian father will like
Stay in school and don't get pregnant
You will be fine

MrsChima:
Excuse me....Nigerian bloodline has been diluted for centuries! There are millions of half Nigerian children/adults around the world! Too late!

. . . For the world. Not them.

TobiBabiOO:
We've been talking for 2 months, to me that's too soon to be confessing love but I respect how he feels. I'm not one to use that word so loosely because I dont want to say it and not mean it. I'm practical, he meets all the characteristics I want in a man and we get along very well so I want to date him, the decision for marriage will come later if it's meant to be but how am I supposed to get there if I do not have the support of my parents in dating who I chose??... saying he can do better hurts my feelings because I know I'm a good catch and so does he.

There are different layers of love. You can love someone but not be in love. He is not in love with you but I am sure he love you for being you. It is okay and it is not a big deal. Once you guys know each other more....the love will intensify if you guys are genuine and the foundation of your relationship is built on honesty. The love is not the culprit but if he is possessive and controlling then you need to be concerned . Don't be concerned about the man loving you...accept it and feed into it with prayer and understanding. Many women don't even get the blessing of love from a man....the real kind!

See...you just made me appreciate my husband even more cos that man loves me! Let me go kiss my baby!

One more thing...people including family didn't want me to marry my husband because he is Igbo. NO OTHER REASONS and I followed my heart and mind...we are still strong approaching a decade!

Don't let anyone dictate your happiness even your family. Family supports each other even when they don't like the decisions. You can get a man that your mother approved but ends up being the end of your life. Do you and trust God.

Good luck!

MrsChima:
There are different layers of love. You can love someone but not be in love. He is not in love with you but I am sure he love you for being you. It is okay and it is not a big deal. Once you guys know each other more....the love will intensify if you guys are genuine and the foundation of your relationship is built on honesty. The love is not the culprit but if he is possessive and controlling then you need to be concerned . Don't be concerned about the man loving you...accept it and feed into it with prayer and understanding. Many women don't even get the blessing of love from a man....the real kind!

See...you just made me appreciate my husband even more cos that man loves me! Let me go kiss my baby!

One more thing...people including family didn't want me to marry my husband because he is Igbo. NO OTHER REASONS and I followed my heart and mind...we are still strong approaching a decade!

Don't let anyone dictate your happiness even your family. Family supports each other even when they don't like the decisions. You can get a man that your mother approved but ends up being the end of your life. Do you and trust God.

Good luck!

Thankyou so much

TobiBabiOO:
Thankyou so much

You are welcome!

Teempakguy:
. . . i think they're concerned that introducing non nigerian genes into their bloodline might lead to undesirable traits.

not so much that as the fact in Nigeria, marriage involves families and communities, not just the couple .