Deliberately malicious and vindictive? Now that's strong. But you aren't there with them, and your sister will only say pleasant things about herself.

Sorry if I sound harsh but there has to be underlying cause for this fracas to start with.

The man needs to mediate and put an end to this.

Boundaries sisters.

Waiting for those people that preach a woman needs a man to be happy.

*Side eye*

SAMBARRY:
I'm tired of women accepting disrespect in their own house and they think they can't do anything about it . It's so annoying

You nefa taya o!
When you stop to post on such yeyerities, I go behlieve you.

Till then, enjoy!

fluxbush:
My sister and her husband are a couple of months old in their marriage. The husband's younger sister,who is almost same age with my sister, moved in with them on a temporary basis (it is convenient for her to get to work from my sister's home).

At first, they lived in perfect harmony and peace. They did stuff together, cooked together, and even sometimes neglected the man of the house . Out of the blue, my sister began to notice that her SIL was withdrawing from her. She asked her about it and she attributed it to stress at work. This behaviour persisted and got worse. The SIL only spoke to her in monosyllables and focused all her attention and her conversation to her brother. The next thing she did was to reject her food. Right now, she doesn't eat anything in that house touched or cooked by my sister.

My sister complained to her husband about his sister's behaviour. At first, he thought she was over imagining things. Then some things happened that opened his eyes to the tension and hostility in his home. He tried to call them both to reconcile whatever differences they might have had. To his dismay, his sister openly challenged him and threatened to leave his house if he didn't drop the matter. For peace sake, he let it go ,hoping the sudden hostility will vanish as it came.

Just this past weekend, the couple paid a visit to his family home. The reception they got was colder than the North pole. It was so bad that an argument broke out between the husband and his mum,who was defending her daughters' behaviour. They left earlier than planned,without being given a morsel of food.

The SIL came back to my sister's home after that weekend disaster and has stopped greeting my sister completely. She does nothing at all to help out and hisses, grumbles and murmurs to herself for whatever reasons. Her brother is fed up with the drama and wants her to leave but he doesn't want a split in his family.

What can and should be done on this matter? My sister is at her wits end. The tension in the house is unhealthy for a young marriage as theirs. Matured married folks should advise on this please.

The third wheel has to leave,she's overstayed her welcome
She is now intruding into their lives
She ought to have been gone since yesterday,let her find an apartment of her own
Let all young couples learn from this,never allow any visitors ,family or no family ,without an expiry date
Even my own siblings same mom and dad,I know when you are coming and when you are leaving
I like my privacy and so does my hubby

@ the poster tell your sister to whisper to the husband's ears at night to help make some money available to get the sister an apartment close by or he can find a friend of his to marry her
She may be getting jealous of the wife

;DD I give up

KanwuliaJara:


You nefa taya o!
When you stop to post on such yeyerities, I go behlieve you.

Till then, enjoy!

Phema:
So, someone can not have peace in her/his own home again?? Has he (your sister's husband) not noticed that his wife is no longer happy and that the whole issue is taking its toll on her? Why will a man allow his wife through such cos he doesn't want to hurt his family? Same family that isn't being reasonable?

Tell your sister to talk this through with her husband. Let her tell him how tensed and unhappy the environment in her home has become because of his sister, who by the way is her age mate and financially independent. Should not even be living with her married brother in the first place.

The husband is greatly at fault here. He has come short in his duty to 'protect' his wife. I wont alive and see my family meddle in my home affairs so much that it now makes my husband constantly unhappy.

Thank you
When we have all these MIL threads people think the issue is always the woman's MIL
I agree totally
Some family members of the woman can be a pain too
There should be zero tolerance for misbehaving inlaws on either side and they should be sent packing when they start causing the husband and wife stress in their own home.
I love and respect my husband enough to send back any family member of mine that causes him grief and I expect and know he will do same for me

fluxbush:
My sister and her husband are a couple of months old in their marriage. The husband's younger sister,who is almost same age with my sister, moved in with them on a temporary basis (it is convenient for her to get to work from my sister's home).

At first, they lived in perfect harmony and peace. They did stuff together, cooked together, and even sometimes neglected the man of the house . Out of the blue, my sister began to notice that her SIL was withdrawing from her. She asked her about it and she attributed it to stress at work. This behaviour persisted and got worse. The SIL only spoke to her in monosyllables and focused all her attention and her conversation to her brother. The next thing she did was to reject her food. Right now, she doesn't eat anything in that house touched or cooked by my sister.

My sister complained to her husband about his sister's behaviour. At first, he thought she was over imagining things. Then some things happened that opened his eyes to the tension and hostility in his home. He tried to call them both to reconcile whatever differences they might have had. To his dismay, his sister openly challenged him and threatened to leave his house if he didn't drop the matter. For peace sake, he let it go ,hoping the sudden hostility will vanish as it came.

Just this past weekend, the couple paid a visit to his family home. The reception they got was colder than the North pole. It was so bad that an argument broke out between the husband and his mum,who was defending her daughters' behaviour. They left earlier than planned,without being given a morsel of food.

The SIL came back to my sister's home after that weekend disaster and has stopped greeting my sister completely. She does nothing at all to help out and hisses, grumbles and murmurs to herself for whatever reasons. Her brother is fed up with the drama and wants her to leave but he doesn't want a split in his family.

What can and should be done on this matter? My sister is at her wits end. The tension in the house is unhealthy for a young marriage as theirs. Matured married folks should advise on this please.

Sometimes I look for reasons why Nigerian women are so eager to get married.

This kin marriage. Husband and wife won't have peace at home. Always one problem from in laws .

so the man is protecting which family now. His family of his sister?

blank:


Please, i know you are her sister so you will want to defend her actions. However, the story stinks. If my sister tells me such a story, i won't dig further because i know she is telling me half stories and doesn't want me to know her issues. Have you heard this story from anyone else apart from your sister so that you can gain some perspective on it. She can tell you that she is bothered by her SILs behavior but she might not tell you that she is the cause.

Don't you find it strange that they had a shouting match in her hubby's family house and even at that point, with more people involved no one mentioned the issue? Even if it's to use it in an abusive way on your sister? So many such loopholes. Anyways, it your sister's issue so anyway you present it here is based on "dem say" coloured by your own perspective.

No matter what the reason may be the bottom line is that the woman of the house and her husband are not happy
Whoever is the source of their unhappiness leaves
The SIL sef taya me
How will someone have a shouting match with the woman you are living with and have the nerve to return to the same house
This wife is nice o
Many would have told her to stay back where she was

KanwuliaJara:

You nefa taya o! When you stop to post on such yeyerities, I go behlieve you.
Till then, enjoy!

Are you friends with sambarry?
Where you go, she goes. Where she sh.its, you pooo.

Chillisauce:


Sometimes I look for reasons why Nigerian women are so eager to get married.

This kin marriage. Husband and wife won't have peace at home. Always one problem from in laws .

so the man is protecting which family now. His family of his sister?

Imagine my own agemate causing me grief in my own house kwa
I will tell the husband to warn his sister o if it persists I will tell him to suggest and find his sis another place to stay and give him time( 1-2 months)
and if he doesn't, I will take it over
Sit her down and tell her nne,I see this is not working out between us,i welcomed you into my home with open arms but right now the relationship seems to be turning sour and for that I will advise that you begin looking for another accommodation so we can both de-stress.

babyosisi:


Imagine my own agemate causing me grief in my own house kwa
I will tell the husband to warn his sister o and if it persists I will take it over
Sit her down and tell her nne,I see this is not working out between us,i welcomed you into my home with open arms but right now the relationship seems to be turning sour and for that I will advise that you begin looking for another accommodation so we can both de-stress.

ThankGod for japanese heritage.
Nigerian women dey suffer walahi

When will in-law learn their place in marriage?

When will spouses learn to put wandering in-law on a Leach?

The wife was warm to her initially So Why can't the SIL tell her whatever issues she has (If any)?

The SIL has to leave the house and whatever issues settled from afar.

She can return when she has learnt her place.

bukatyne:
When will in-law learn their place in marriage?

When will spouses learn to put wandering in-law on a Leach?

The wife was warm to her initially So Why can't the SIL tell her whatever issues she has (If any)?

The SIL has to leave the house and whatever issues settled from afar.

She can return when she has learnt her place.

Honestly I think some of us escaped all that by living out there
The stories from friends back home are sad
Not just inlaws even their own siblings and relatives mooching off them
I had a guest who when she was about to leave told me the first thing she will do on getting back is to send her three younger sisters packing from her house
One has kids o,husband went AWOL
This lady had three sisters,two nephews plus her sick mother and a caregiver for her mom all under her roof while her own children were out in boarding school.
I told her she enabled them
She told me she longs to just be with her husband and kids in her house ,just them and of course her sick mom for once in her life
Two of the sisters work,don't buy a thing in the house,don't even do much cooking or cleaning and occasionally other cousins will land from the village or elsewhere.

I said nne your husband must be an angel o

SAMBARRY:
Your house na hotel or inn

sHe still has a roof over her head duhhhh.i won't even allow you stay talk less of entering the kitchen. Na innuendos I go take use quench you till you leave willingly

Lol.
Me no go tell her make she pack o.As long as she leaves the house and cone home no problem. If she no wan work, no wahala. Thank God sef say she dey chop outside. No going to my fridge too, buy your water outside. If I catch her by mistake say she enter kitchen, chai,chai!

[/color]Iiicolor=#770077][color=#770077][/color][color=#770077][/its so funny to see that a full grown Woman who should be praying for her own future home would seek to cause unrest in that of another. It really doesn't matter ifthe wife is at fault or not. As a good host she asked her what the problem was and she said nothing. I'm sure if she had said what the problem was, your sister would have apologised

Women though...

crackhaus:
Women though...

Too much wahala... I just can't deal aswear

fluxbush:
My sister and her husband are a couple of months old in their marriage. The husband's younger sister,who is almost same age with my sister, moved in with them on a temporary basis (it is convenient for her to get to work from my sister's home).

At first, they lived in perfect harmony and peace. They did stuff together, cooked together, and even sometimes neglected the man of the house . Out of the blue, my sister began to notice that her SIL was withdrawing from her. She asked her about it and she attributed it to stress at work. This behaviour persisted and got worse. The SIL only spoke to her in monosyllables and focused all her attention and her conversation to her brother. The next thing she did was to reject her food. Right now, she doesn't eat anything in that house touched or cooked by my sister.

My sister complained to her husband about his sister's behaviour. At first, he thought she was over imagining things. Then some things happened that opened his eyes to the tension and hostility in his home. He tried to call them both to reconcile whatever differences they might have had. To his dismay, his sister openly challenged him and threatened to leave his house if he didn't drop the matter. For peace sake, he let it go ,hoping the sudden hostility will vanish as it came.

Just this past weekend, the couple paid a visit to his family home. The reception they got was colder than the North pole. It was so bad that an argument broke out between the husband and his mum,who was defending her daughters' behaviour. They left earlier than planned,without being given a morsel of food.

The SIL came back to my sister's home after that weekend disaster and has stopped greeting my sister completely. She does nothing at all to help out and hisses, grumbles and murmurs to herself for whatever reasons. Her brother is fed up with the drama and wants her to leave but he doesn't want a split in his family.

What can and should be done on this matter? My sister is at her wits end. The tension in the house is unhealthy for a young marriage as theirs. Matured married folks should advise on this please.

Introduce the SIL to a man, she needs a good D

Ewuro4:


Too much wahala... I just can't deal aswear

Exactly. I bet the sister-in-law has a different version to this. But of course it does not matter as far as she is living in another woman's home. She can be treated anyhow.

kaboninc:


Are you friends with sambarry?

Where you go, she goes. Where she sh.its, you pooo.

You nefa see us tia paheint for NL ni?
Despite that . . . she is loveeeble!
At least I have a friend on NL!
Any wan you tok. . . .CARRY DEY GO!

Ewuro4:


Too much wahala... I just can't deal aswear

What ever could be done...Lol

FrancisTony:
Waiting for those people that preach a woman needs a man to be happy.

*Side eye*

RECIEVE




SENSE

The SIL must b angry about something..
Your sis should find a husband for her..that always makes single working class ladies happy.

[quote author=VintageCocktail post=33242142]11. Anunuebe

12. Apakwulu danda



are u oracle?

how can u dictate for oracle.

christabeli:
Exactly. I bet the sister-in-law has a different version to this. But of course it does not matter as far as she is living in another woman's home. She can be treated anyhow.

I tire oh

crackhaus:


What ever could be done...Lol

as in ..

[quote author=Makamuanwuo post=33273783][/quote] Sorry, Ezemmuo.

It's probably easy to blame the SIL, but I think for her to stop eating anything cooked by your sister, she must have been disrespected or badly hurt. Your sister is not telling you everything. So, instead of thinking of what to do to her, your sister should apologize and mean it. Naija marriage is not only about the husband and wife. I wish it was. If your sister wins this battle by fighting, more will be waiting for her in the future. Ignore all those telling her husband to man up. He is only being diplomatic.

So, SIL threatened to leave, husband convinced her to stay. His family aren't happy with him, wife is to blame. SIL and brother are now feuding. No acknowledgement from SIL to wife and now hubby to SIL. Wife unhappy, confused but can't solve anything. And all living under one roof.

Is this a Nigerian thing? I don't get why a grown woman with a fraction of installed sense cannot leave of her own accord if she felt unwelcome in her brother's house. How will anything be solved if SIL is not responding well to hubby or his wife? What kind of authentic foolishness do people put themselves through in this lifetime smh

Flytefalls:
So, SIL threatened to leave, husband convinced her to stay. His family aren't happy with him, wife is to blame. SIL and brother are now feuding. No acknowledgement from SIL to wife and now hubby to SIL. Wife unhappy, confused but can't solve anything. And all living under one roof.

Is this a Nigerian thing? I don't get why a grown woman with a fraction of installed sense cannot leave of her own accord if she felt unwelcome in her brother's house . How will anything be solved if SIL is not responding well to hubby or his wife? What kind of authentic foolishness do people put themselves through in this lifetime smh

The face-carrying is because she's the same age as the wife and maybe can't really do anything to her.
If she was older, maybe wifey for dey chop slap for not respecting her in her own brother's house.

Not saying the wife is without blame but if she's not being a good hostess, then the visitor should leave at her earliest convenience for her own peace of mind.
I can't imagine someone disrespecting me for being in their house and I'll keep staying when I can arrange to move out instead of 'moodying' about the house waiting for husband and wife to fall out because of me.
Worse still not saying what the problem is so that we can all settle the matter peacefully.

My eldest sister once accused my Lady wrongly and was berating her over the phone. When I finished tearing eye for my sister ehn, she arranged herself. Today my sister and my Lady are all pallsie wallsie with each other.

I guess it's because I was raised well. My folks hardly come to my home. My Dad once told me that my house is my house and he has no business being there. My mom will maintains herself and does not interfere. My siblings are on their own.

Don't get me wrong. We are not fighting or forming for each other. But we all learnt respect and know that respect is earned, is reciprocal.

Besides, the Bible expects me to LEAVE my father and mother and CLEAVE to my wife. So.....

blank:


Please, i know you are her sister so you will want to defend her actions. However, the story stinks. If my sister tells me such a story, i won't dig further because i know she is telling me half stories and doesn't want me to know her issues. Have you heard this story from anyone else apart from your sister so that you can gain some perspective on it. She can tell you that she is bothered by her SILs behavior but she might not tell you that she is the cause.

Don't you find it strange that they had a shouting match in her hubby's family house and even at that point, with more people involved no one mentioned the issue? Even if it's to use it in an abusive way on your sister? So many such loopholes. Anyways, it your sister's issue so anyway you present it here is based on "dem say" coloured by your own perspective.

....Regardless of what happened,the op's sister should not be the one managing her Sister-in-law in her own matrimonial home,rather its the SIL who should do that because she honestly do not have the right to be there for goodness! ..but for the magnanimity of her brother and his wife..

...The SIL in question is actually disrespecting her brother as well..but the guy is too weak to see that ..

.Instead of folding his arms running from pillar to post,he should man up and not allow his younger sister destroy his marriage.

LewsTherin:
My eldest sister once accused my Lady wrongly and was berating her over the phone. When I finished tearing eye for my sister ehn, she arranged herself. Today my sister and my Lady are all pallsie wallsie with each other.

I guess it's because I was raised well. My folks hardly come to my home. My Dad once told me that my house is my house and he has no business being there. My mom will maintains herself and does not interfere. My siblings are on their own.

Don't get me wrong. We are not fighting or forming for each other. But we all learnt respect and know that respect is earned, is reciprocal.

Besides, the Bible expects me to LEAVE my father and mother and CLEAVE to my wife. So.....

....Correct man!