A few days ago I ran across a marvelous quote by Jonathan Carroll, author of Outside the Dog Museum. It goes like this:

“You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.”

I think this is wonderful advice for those “falling in love.” Too often, two people feel the early signs of a loving relationship only to move too fast and scare away the one they are falling in love with. Or worse yet, they become so enamored with “being in love” that they become blinded to the warning signs. They so desperately want to be in love and be loved that they miss important clues to the real feelings of the one they love.

In my many findings over the years with individuals who have had a successful and long-term relationship with somebody, I have repeatedly heard this advice – go slow in the beginning. (My cousin Eberechi is fond of that line sha)

You’ve heard the old expression, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” One thing for certain – neither was love. It develops over time. It requires patience. It requires self-examination. And it most certainly requires you to run slowly across fields until you find the proper footing, lest you fall down!

Building confidence in any budding love relationship takes time and commitment. It requires a level of objectivity about what is going on at a level you may have never reached before. People falling in love do not lie to each other, but they often lie to themselves about what is happening to them. They let feelings and emotions get the best of them before they are truly ready to share their heart with another – before they are ready to make the honest and caring commitment required to make love last.

Recently, someone sent me a copy of a beautiful essay entitled “Letters To My Son" 
by Kent Nerburn. My favorite passage is excerpted below:

Here “is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long
without love, they understand love only as a need. The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as
their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.
They cease to be someone who generates love and instead
become someone who seeks love. They forget that the
 secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to
grow only by giving it away.”

The message here should be clear – love is a gift you give to someone, and if you are lucky, they give it back in return. But the real lesson here is that you need to step back and make sure that you feel good about giving your love away as a gift. And to do this takes time. It takes reflection. It requires being honest with yourself about what you are feeling and what you are giving away to another human being. Rushing to judgment about matters of such profound importance is never a wise thing to do. Giving love away takes time. Accepting true love takes courage. And trust. And time.

Recently, I read an article about love that captured the attention of many people around the world. It got many comments about it. Bloggers picked it up. People talked about it. It was titled article, How Will I Know I Am In Love?.

An essential message in that article is that there are clear and telltale signs for love. When you recognize those categories for knowing you are in love, honestly reflect upon them, and cherishing them as the gift of love that they are, you are in love. But don’t confuse your feelings of love for another, your gift of love to another, without also truthfully asking yourself, “Have I also received the gift of love from the one I love?”

When you feel good about giving your love as a gift and that feeling is reciprocated by the one you love, then you both are in love with each other. As a common quote tells us, the “secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.”

True and lasting love takes time because true and lasting love is all about the reciprocal gift of love between two human beings. To be in love is to dash across the field of lilies on a beautiful spring morning unafraid to fall down as you leap into the arms of the one you love and who loves you. Go, be in love if you are ready to give the gift of love!

http://www.simplethingsmatter.com/articles/Great_Love_Is_Best_Not_Rushed.html

I can remember my ogbomosho girlfriend... She wanted us to friend, love and marry ourselves on the same day

EricRichie:
I can remember my ogbomosho girlfriend... She wanted us to friend, love and marry ourselves on the same day

Lolzzz. A day is enough na

tohpahz:


Lolzzz. A day is enough na

Loool that's marital suicide. ..

tohpahz:


Lolzzz. A day is enough na

Lool, abi, judging by the adjective he qualified the babe with

EricRichie:
I can remember my ogbomosho girlfriend... She wanted us to friend, love and marry ourselves on the same day

Very funny.

This is a very timely article. People nowadays seem more interested in the idea of being in love than love itself.

nice

This is a proper write-up on love and it's fledging stage. Highly beneficial to the novices as well as those who are experienced it is.

This is the pick of the bunch:

“the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.”

The whole concept of love must not be for this selfish purpose as Keane the music band erroneously interpreted it:

"Love is just the way of looking out for ourselves when we don't want to live alone"

Don't worry OP don't rush till on Alejandro takes away the girl of your dreams...

Ishilove:

Very funny.

This is a very timely article. People nowadays seem more interested in the idea of being in love than love itself.

Yeah, people don't actually know what true love means.. They think it's an act rather a feeling... From the heart...

We got to change this attitude.. ..

I didn't read d text book sha....tired of love talks

Let me just read comments I don't think I am going to comment

Where is the article heading to?

EricRichie:
I can remember my ogbomosho girlfriend... She wanted us to friend, love and marry ourselves on the same day

lol....
It isn't that what it implies when u sleep with her on the first day.

Sometimes you gotta rush it o.... So many guys after her, if you are slow you will carry last

true


but d write up is too long..

Dint read all..

Most people rush into love but actually its lust.

My favourite love quotations of all time..

''Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back,don't expect love in return.Just wait until it grows in their earth but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours''

''It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,it takes an hour to like someone and a day to love someone,but it takes a life time to forget someone''

''love is when you take the feelings,the passion and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care about that person''

''When the door of happiness closes,another one opens but often times we look so long at closed door that we don't see the one which has been open for us''

''The best kind of friend is the one you can just be with,never say a word and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you have ever had''

''It is truth that we don't know the value of what we have got until we lose it,but it is also truth that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives''

''There are things you would love to hear but you will never hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from their earth''

''Never say goodbye if you still want to try,never give up if you still think you can't go on. Never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go''

''Love comes to those who still hope,although they have been disappointed,to those who still believe although they have been betrayed,to those who still need to love although they have been hurt before''

''Don't go for looks,they can deceive.Don't go for wealth, even that fades away..go for someone who makes you smile!''