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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? (11377 Views)
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Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by micktoxin(m): 10:45am On May 04, 2015 |
Crystal83:Okay, a more pragmatic advice. In a way, we are all selfishly motivated, in as much as we all like to deny it. In view of this, you need to establish whether he wants the marriage as much as you do.The narratives about the Facebook and cheating... just set my alarm bells ringing, and it appears he doesn't love you as much as you do love him. This is very common among interracial relationship involving NIGERIAN guys, looking for permanent resident and many more, which I won't go into. Make of that anyway you wish. I am not qualified to give a good advice, but you need to communicate with him, ask about his opinion about the relationship. My rule of thumb. If he doesn't care about the relationship, and you think you will be happier being single than married then the answer should be conclusive. Life is too short Ma'am. Good luck 2 Likes |
Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by Crystal83(f): 4:23am On May 06, 2015 |
@micktoxin That is exactly what I needed. Thank you very much for your thoughts and advice. I see it the same way as you. |
Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by micktoxin(m): 11:19am On May 06, 2015 |
Crystal83:Awesome. I wish you happiness in your decisions. |
Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by MrsChima(f): 11:25am On May 06, 2015 |
Crystal83: Hello! It is him. It is not a "Nigerian" thing to ignore wife for friends. I would think he doesn't respect you and if he is willing to allow you guys to separate over foolishness ....friends isn't as important as spouses. My husband is first...my kids are second....family is third..and friends are last. He may not love you the way you love him. Sorry. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by MrsChima(f): 11:32am On May 06, 2015 |
Crystal83: Damn...three kids and married 2 years! You naughty girl you! You are a good wife indeed! |
Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by Crystal83(f): 11:43am On May 06, 2015 |
Hello! It is him. It is not a "Nigerian" thing to ignore wife for friends. I would think he doesn't respect you and if he is willing to allow you guys to separate over foolishness ....friends isn't as important as spouses. My husband is first...my kids are second....family is third..and friends are last. He may not love you the way you love him. Sorry. That is exactly how I see it, @MrsChima. And I starting to think you are right, that he does not love me the way that I love him. That is sad, but Oh well, at least and the end of the day I can be at peace because my intentions were good and my heart was pure. Thank you for your post. |
Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by Crystal83(f): 11:45am On May 06, 2015 |
@MrsChima Sorry, I was not very clear. I have two boys from a previous relationship. My husband and I have just the one. I am just so used to everything being "we" or "us". Our baby is 6 months old. I have no words to explain what I feel for her at the moment. |
Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by MrsChima(f): 12:00pm On May 06, 2015 |
Crystal83: Aww. I was like you go girl! . I understand now. I got the gist of your situation without you giving all of your business. My friend is going through a divorce with her husband...he is not Nigerian but African and she found out that he was deceptive as well. She found out things that she should have known before she went to live with him in his home country. She lived with him for 3 years before she began seeing sign of deceptions and she was the one providing for the faimily. He was splurging his money and she was taking care of expenses. She is now in the States and awaiting the divorce to be final. He was putting his friends before her. When the family came around they only needed money. He was taking of his friends as well. It was an odd sight to behold. He didn't put any pictures of them on his FB and listed as single on his accounts. She said he felt it wasn't important to post his marital status. She is a beautiful woman and comes from a well to do family. I know it is not her background and she is educated with 2 Masters. I told her either he never loved you or he is deceptive about his past. If you sensed something is wrong...there is something wrong. Trust your instincts it is usually right! Red flags are real and should never be ignored. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by Crystal83(f): 12:13pm On May 06, 2015 |
@MrsChima It is so difficult to love someone with everything that you have and put up with the lies and deceit. Sometimes we would do anything for love. I am sorry to hear about your friend. I am sure she will find happiness again. I agree with you about those instincts. It has got me this far, and they are hardly ever wrong. Thank you very much for sharing your friends story and your advice. I appreciate it. |
Re: Why Is A Man's Loyalty To His Friends More Important Than His Wife? by Nobody: 4:15pm On May 18, 2015 |
Crystal83: So sad you picked a wrong Nigerian man causing you all these stress.... Its not a Nigerian trait but your husbands personal flaws.... Maybe you need to get blunt with him and go through with your words... If he doesnt treat you well let him understand you need to be happy or you both path ways... Is the man a citizen already? |
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