Akuko uwa.

He should first remove virgin this virgin that from the story so that we will know where the bias is coming from.

@OP why don't you give him the WISE AND UNBIASED advice he needs instead of disturbing posters by policing their posts

Why do i find it hard to believe this story?

op tell the pastor to ask God for guidance

tight but no ideas
wide with ideas
choose one
the choice is urs

Are you the pastor

Op am spiritually convinced. U ARE THE PASTOR

Op, I doubt if that your friend is a true man of God..
A real man of God doesn't need to seek people's opinion.. He'd rather seek God's face to know his plans for him..or isn't the so called pastors that prophesy for people on what to do, how to do it, and even who to marry.. pheeewwww.. #Gutted

Fake pastor, can't he talk to God directly through prayers?.

Choose none.

What kind of man will propose to a woman he has not seen ?



Please remove that pastor you're calling him, a real pastor won't do that instead he'll seek direction from the holy spirit

the pastor should know that marrying the single mother is not an option according to the scriptures on marriage/divorce. the single mother belongs to someone else spiritually . He should choose the young girl who is not tie spiritually to anybody I.e being a virgin.

If a pastor is seeking advice on nairaland, what will church members do? Holyspirit don forsake am!!!

The pastor shuld av taken his time to study d second lady b4 proposin marriage. Is d first girl's family, nw in support of d marriage? BTW he is a pastor right? Wat happens to praying n seeking d face of God on who to marry? My advise to him is dat, he shuld put to hold d relationship 4 a while, pray n watch bfore knowing d nxt step. D 2nd lady is jux trying to keep her baby safe, she does nt want him thrown out after marriage.

THE ONE HE LOVES AND BELIEVES GOD CHOOSE FOR HIM.

So the pastor wants to marry another woman that he has never met before?

Conversely, the pastor wants to ditch away a girl he knew for 8 years, a virgin and his first choice?

And the pastor finally made arrangement for wedding plans all virtually?


My advice will be for the pastor to go for the first girl. So many things are at disadvantage to him if he choose the virtual girl. Handling emotional baggage of another lady with a child is not easy, and there might be some issues with the child's father coming to claim the child in the future. There is also no guarantee he will like this woman if he meet her ultimately.

Why cant the pastor marry both of them?

Is there anywhere in the Bible or the Law where it says a man can't marry two women? Make una show me.

The Pastor need a number three woman
Run girl
so now
Pastor have a V girl, single mama and Run girl to pick from

Met the second lady online..So Pastor sef dey do Eskimi and Badoo..Issokay

a known devil is better than an unknown angel. A word is enough for the wise.

In my own opinion, the pastor should decide the one he wants to marry between them base on who he truly love and more comfortable with, from what i am seeing, it is like the pastor love the second girl out of pity but to be candid @ op, i think the man should know what he really want by this stage of his life.

What a bunch of crap! Firstly, a pastor does not need to go online in order to find a wife, the Holy spirit is sufficient. Next, girl number one cannot want him back unless the issue with her people has been resolved, her people must give consent otherwise it's a dead end. Finally, this is Africa, we all know how difficult it is for a single man to marry a woman with kids, at the same time we all know how crazy things can get when your in-laws don't like you, let the pastor pray towards it and give the relationships more time. In time, one or both of the girls will disqualify themselves!

I need at advice o. I ve a girl friend who gave birth to a baby for me 2 years ago. Innitially I denied the pregnancy cos of an incident that happened before she told me she was pregnant. She refused to leave the baby with my family. I ve been under serious pressure by my family and friends to reconcile with her and I invited her for a chat. However I noticed something strange with her mode of dressing. She now wears chain on her waist and angle. With strange make up like the way whores do just yesterday she visited me with the baby and spend 4hours with me. I noticed the same appearance with more rings on all her fingers. I told her why she now dress up like that but her response was it was just a fashion. Right now I don't feel like marrying her anymore cos I suspect she might be doing ashawo work. My worry now is how to get the baby frm her so that he will not get negatively influenced. I need advice pls

The pastor should go for the first lady. He shouldn't be anyway tempted to go for the new one. Even if the new lady is without a child she is still not an option. U cannot marry who u don't know and not spend some good time with. It seems greener out der but Wen u get closer u see clearer dat its not near green at all.

Hmmmm, this pastor is not doing the right thing at all, considering the pastoral call,taking a life partner shouldn't only be done by your feelings and emotions. As a pastor it should be both physically and spiritually,cus you need someone who you both have same vision,who would join you in your calling. My advice to this said pastor is;he needs to seek the face of God. NOTE:it won't be nice to go for the one with a baby at the moment,because,how would he explain to his congregation and the world at large that he didn't impragnate that lady secretly seeing that the baby is still very young.

The pastor should go for the first lady. He shouldn't be anyway tempted to go for the new one. Even if the new lady is without a child she is still not an option. U cannot marry who u don't know and not spend some good time with. It seems greener out der but Wen u get closer u see clearer dat its not near green at all. [s][/s]w

The pastor should marry the first girl. The second lady is a fantasy.

You've known someone for 8years. You turned her into a confident woman and she desperately wants you in her life. Why through that all away for a woman you have not met?

Don't forget that people are different face to face. Online or phone conversations are not enough. You need to study body language and other things.

If he marries the second lady, it fits into a nice hollywood or even Nollywood flick. I however wish both women the best

I think he should meet the second lady first before making a commitment of any sort. That should be the very first step.
Others can follow.
Online could be very different from reality. Anybody could be any way they want to be when they are behind the computer screen.

The truth is: DON'T CHOOSE ANY OF THEM. They have too much baggage.

1. Abaah! You can't have the first girl back except her and her family assures and accepts you for marriage naa.

2. The second girl has a son, your 1st marriage shouldn't start on a burdensome note. And how can you too as a pastor propose marriage to someone you haven't seen or known, abaah! You sef

Conclusion: As par the first girl, what has rejected you the first time will always be able to reject you again. So flee! See your investment in her as an act of service to God.
As par the second girl, her character flaws are many and she has too much baggage and burden you'll SURELY regret later. A man doesn't just accept a woman's baggage just like that. So flee!

You don't have a problem honestly, the control is still in your hand, its as simple as stopping to pick calls. Just leave both and start your life afresh, you are not getting any younger. And you are a pastor, I never noticed the place of God in your story, pray and seek God's face, ask Him what His will is and His "original" plan for your life cos I'm sure this is not God's best for you, you are just doing your own thing according to your flesh if not, you wouldn't have proposed a whole MARRIAGE to someone you've never seen or known. Na konji dey catch you . You think marriage is beans, its forever bro. If you've been praying, you wouldn't have found yourself in this situation for sure. Anyway, all the best!.

As much I wouldn't want to advice from a religious point of view, your overaching use of the Pastor title leaves one with no choice.

From that perspective therefore, marriage is an institution taken seriously in the Christendom. The sincere question to ask your Pastor friend is "What is God saying about it?" If that has not been considered or perhaps, there are doubts, I suggest your friend relieves himself of that title.

Now from a logic point of view.
Let you friend follow his heart after rigorous consultations with his head.

A Wife....

Pastor de date?

Nawa o for this end time pastors.

Sorry, I just passed

paschu:
_________________________WARNING_________________________

Please this is not a joke. It's happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you're not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.

___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________

A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady's moral perception and persona - though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.

To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.

Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.

Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she's still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.

Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that's okay. But what's scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.

- She's a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She's a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.

- The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.

-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.

- The first girl doesn't talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.

Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.

Now I must also point out that the pastor's background is strikingly similar to this new girl's background based on what he told me. And I think that's where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.

Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.

The reason I'm asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he's the pastor here.

What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.

Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.

__________________________________
Thank you so much for participating.

NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.

1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.

2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.

3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.

4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.

5) I'm pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper context without insulting anyone.

tell the pastor to forget about the Internet girl or his life will soon be over be the child's father is locking around in the dark like the eyes of the devil looking for who to prey on for his failure. Let him go back to his creation the first girl she will marry him she just doesn't know yet, by the way what is keeping the pastor from fucking her for a period of 8yrs? He must be incomplete

paschu:
_________________________WARNING_________________________

Please this is not a joke. It's happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you're not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.

___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________

A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady's moral perception and persona - though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.

To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.

Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.

Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she's still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.

Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that's okay. But what's scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.

- She's a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She's a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.

- The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.

-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.

- The first girl doesn't talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.

Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.

Now I must also point out that the pastor's background is strikingly similar to this new girl's background based on what he told me. And I think that's where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.

Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man's son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn't mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it's a condition for marrying her.

The reason I'm asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he's the pastor here.

What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.

Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.

__________________________________
Thank you so much for participating.

NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.

1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.

2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.

3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.

4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.

5) I'm pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper context without insulting anyone.

tell the pastor to forget about the Internet girl or his life will soon be over be the child's father is locking around in the dark like the eyes of the devil looking for who to prey on for his failure. Let him go back to his creation the first girl she will marry him she just doesn't know yet, by the way what is keeping the pastor from fucking her for a period of 8yrs? He must be incomplete