₦airaland Forum

ronald4lif:
Nice one bruv.

I subscribe to your line of reasoning. It is advisable for a guy who's still struggling not to focus on a relationship and fall for the deceit called love. Love without money is not worth it. It gets you distracted from pursuing your goals and drain your scarce resources.

A relationship can't survive without money and that girl you're spending your little money and investing on today could dump your ass tomorrow for your age mates who had their priorities right while you were deceiving yourself with love.

Love won't pay the bills either now or after you're married so why waste your time when you can make something meaningful out of life now. That girl you're spending on will only succeed in ruining you up. It is on record that most relationship arguments and divorces stem from finances and the management of the home. How would you handle that when you don't have money?.

I'm not dismissing the importance of a woman in a man's life but priorities need to be set right. Even if one must embark on a relationship and she keeps demanding for this and that you have to quit it. Don't be manipulated by love. The chances of a woman loving you without money is very slim.

The first question I believe a man should ask himself from a girlfriend who's always demanding money from him is, what if there's no more money?. If you can answer that I believe you would know why she's in the relationship with you.

I learnt this the hard way. This is the best post on this thread.

It can be quite easy to forget love though, as this suggests - http://thenakedconvos.com/forgetting-how-to-love/

I keep saying it that LOVE IS THE FOLLY OF YOUTH!

Adaobi12:
. I do. perfectly

Come to think of it, its not just a man that is meant to be financially stable. Why he is working hard for his money, I too will do the same. that way no one will be a liability to each other.

Like I said before, there are still good and hardworking ladies out there willing to stay faithful and sweat it out with that hard working broke dude. Though they might be few. Good things are not easy to come get.

Looking at it from another angle, how many of our young men these days are hardworking?
Most of them lazy around all day, With a cheap android phone, bashing and creating ten things this ten that on on Nairaland, updating Oluwa bless my hustle. Why they only hustling they do is hustling for likes on instagram and Nairaland.

They are virtually IMPOSSIBLE to come by..
And this issue right here could be analyzed eida ur way or the op's way... i.e it has d male version, and d female version..

Quite busy at d moment.. Really cnt disect this issue the way i would've loved 2..

Rapmoney:
Be patient while you read this...

If you are a young and ambitious dude still struggling to get to the top, this write-up will save you the stress and pains of the so-called love we have been deceived about for long!

If you still think that there's what is called 'true love' or 'love without money or resources', then you must be living in a fool's paradise!!! (Quote me if you like!)

The truth of the matter is that what people in the past enjoyed as 'true love' no longer exist. Then it was possible for a man and a woman to fall in love based on personal qualities or characters without materialism attached to it! Those were the good old days! Our society has changed and any one who still lives in the past is not better than the village idiot!!!

I have heard people saying often times that love or relationship is not all about money! To me, that's the highest level of trash and rubbish! If you are a young man with ambition, still striving and toiling to make it, you better forget about love and concentrate full-time...I mean 100% on your dreams and life.
It is so frustrating to see some struggling dudes killing themselves over love issues! What a life! Why spend the meagre salary you earn after working for 30 days like a donkey on a girl? She tells you she needs a phone, you struggle to buy it! She says she needs money for hair, you struggle to give her! She tells you she needs to get a nice bag or pair of shoes she saw at a boutique, you struggle to give her! Be rest assured that you will continue to struggle endlessly in your life if you don't desist from such shameful and wasteful act! If you want to know the extent to which materialism has eaten into this so-called love, watch even the younger girls of today! Even those that are below 21 or 22 will quickly run away from you if you can't be giving her upkeep money, money for hair and phone, etc The mature ones? If you don't live comfortably well, sorry, you are on your own!!! Except for those village girls that are not exposed...but seriously, not in the cities of Nigeria.

Before you criticize me on the fact that these women need to live a comfortable life by hanging out with only comfortable dudes, read the topic again! It is surely the same reason why I said young struggling men should forget about love and focus on their lives!!! When you are comfortable, you can have the resources to sustain your relationship because no matter how a woman 'loves' you, the 'love' must surely die if there's no finance to sustain it!

Adams Oshiomole (not handsome) just got married to pretty Lara Forte! Do you think she didn't see all the tall handsome dudes with six-packs before tying the knot with the governor?

Goodevening everyone!

I got married in 2011 when my salary was just 60k/monthly at the age 30yrs. I was leaving in a room and palour selfcontains which am still leaving. meanwhile, I met my wife when I had nothing, only bed, and a TV set in the palour. with that amount we were able to plan our wedding without support from anybody and I didn't borrow. we organized the wedding with 50k, no church wedding though. only introduction and registry, only 7 people went with us to the registry. she was not working even till date, though my decision so as to take care of the kids. we manage what I bring home as salary. anything she put on the table for me is what I eat without complain.


Today, we have two and half plot of Lands, two lovely daughters, eating whatever we want. we have started building our house (3 bedrooms bungalow) etc

marriage is not all about money...it is teaming up with ur husband or wife to build a happy home. once there is unity and oneness between two of you, u can turn ur world around.

Nice one!!!

You lied. not even u will dare it. park well joor

Adaobi12:
I disagree with your write up. there are a thousand one girls out there, willing to love and swim the red sea with a hardworking broke dude.
As long as he is hardworking, I will stick with him because I know someday Oluwa go reason him matter.

Nice one rap money but I believe if money is the only ingredient women fall in love, then no wonder the level of unfulfilled marriage keep sky rocketing.

I still maintain that love and finance should go together. Honestly that issue of lara forte and ishiomiole shows the babe is a thief jawe!
What is her occupation if I may ask?

Adaobi12:
I disagree with your write up. there are a thousand one girls out there, willing to love and swim the red sea with a hardworking broke dude.
As long as he is hardworking, I will stick with him because I know someday Oluwa go reason him matter.

hey Adaobi are u serious, hehe na type I dey find o,

holysaint1:
They are virtually IMPOSSIBLE to come by..
And this issue right here could be analyzed eida ur way or the op's way... i.e it has d male version, and d female version..

Quite busy at d moment.. Really cnt disect this issue the way i would've loved 2..

. I still disagree with you. there is nothing like virtually impossible. You only have to search carefully.

Xtracoool:
I learnt this the hard way. This is the best post on this thread.

The hard way isn't a bad way to learn. Some didn't just ply that rough route to know sup. At the end of the day message is received and digested.

iAmCharis:
Gbam!!

It's even safer to have someone when things are not so well financially. You see, when a man had it made already, chances are he's going to marry someone he wouldn't want to someone he doesn't really know her character. When they know the money is there, they start acting all nice, now what you love in a woman and start feigning your dream woman. Only for you to marry her and realize she's the total opposite. A friend recently told me about a story of her uncle. The man was well loaded before he got married. He took a month leave from work one day and told his wife that he has lost his job. He started acting broke all of a sudden. Can you imagine in less than a month, this woman said she can no longer continue with the marriage. She packed and left her husband. The man even went to see the woman's people but they drove him out.


It's when you've not made it you know those who truly love you.

you are right my man

Acidosis:
Lol

I used to share the same reasoning with OP until I realise success has no definition.

Whether you earn 20k or 150k, you'll always see a woman who would love you and ready to settle with you. I've come to realise no amount of money is ever enough.

Set your target at N200k/monthly, by the time you reach your target, the trickle down effect will affect your entire life such that you'll start buying perfume worth N50k. At that stage, you'll realise N200k is no longer enough to settle down... and the trend continues. Its basic economics- human wants are insatiable.

Telling a level '08 NSCDC officer or level '08 F.G Teacher of N27 years old to forget love and face hustling is like telling him to delay his offspring. Even if you hustle and sweat, you can't rise above the stipulated years for promotion.

The aforementioned principle applies to our everyday life; you just cannot run faster than destiny - it can only be delayed.

Also I think your write-up should be directed at students. A guy of 24+ should never forget love. If LOVE is a distraction, what do you call CLUBBING, WOMANISING, CHAMPIONS LEAGUE, Play Station, Android Tweaks, BBM, FACEBOOK?

I think its better to settle down with a reasonable lady and remain faithful. Those who miss it are those who spend carelessly to impress a thousand and random girls in exchange for s e x. Spending on 'A' lover shouldn't distract anyone. I don't know where some of you meet your girls, but I know there are reasonable ones out there who hardly make demands. In fact some don't ask!

If a young man can't find love, remember the destiny of your offspring lies in your hands! You wouldn't want to settle down with an o l o s h o at old age. Imagine driving your kids to Montessori academy at age 50 when your mates' are already playing with grand children around the house - all in the name of hustling as if we can make all the money in the world.

In summary, hard work pays but it doesn't pay everyone equally; likewise, relationship pays, but not all survive the accompanying impediments.

best Advice on this thread. well Said.

ronald4lif:
Yes. But the question is how sensible it is for a guy who doesn't have much money to be footing the bills of his girlfriend monthly hair, outings, gifts etc. Is it wise for a student guy who for instance receives less than 30k monthly from his sponsors to fund most of his girlfriend's responsibilities?. When there's a great possibility she might dump his ass if someone who's better off comes her way?. It's not like guys shouldn't have a relationship when they are still struggling, no it's a necessary evil but still an unwise decision.

While it is advisable one should have a girlfriend while they are not financially buoyant so they can be sure her intentions are genuine when money sets in, but in a case where a guy was the one footing a lot of her essential needs when he was still managing his student allowance her intentions can't be said to be genuine and it's questionable. She was still there for the money during those period when her (financial) benefits were meagre. Only difference is that his situation changes for the better with more money and of course she will still stick around.

I think a real wealthy man, who knows how to treat a woman right, romantic and all is capable of making his wife grow to love him even if she's there for the money. Once one have the money and know how to treat a woman their least of concerns will be to make her love you. Splash the money and be romantic bro love will grow by force.

love will grows by force?

You are wrong,you can buy a woman but can't buy her love

Truluvguy:
You lied. not even u will dare it. park well joor

Bros you don't know me, so quit judging me.

Am impress. Thanks

The bad thing is that after spending a lot on her, she may till cheat on you.

jamex93:
no b only u
no b only us
am sure we plenty

Na just the way be that oo

agarawu23:
nice one rapmoney.

I am in support of your write up But I want us to look it from another angle.

I am not in support of a young hustling guy spending lavishly on a Lady he is yet to marry but that doesn't mean he should not fall in love.(he should apply sense)

If he finally forget about ladies, chase his dream and later succeed, how will he find true love ? (no be our girls of nowadays? Ferrari things )

What if the guy is not destined to be rich? I am sure he will still settle down with one (though she might not be his dream girl)

We have few ladies who don't care if a guy is rich or poor, all they want is true love (bros I still dey find them o )

Just be contented with the one you already have, streamline her, work on her flaws and make her suit your taste @ Agarawu23.

Your attitudes, approach to issues, integrity, ambitions and determination to succeed in life would bring out the 'true love' in her (Remember ladies aren't FOOLS and you can't buy their true love)

Women make FINAL decisions @ their quiet time, they could seek for advise here and there though.

If you don't 'take care' of your girl, someone else would but avoid not 'spending to impress' a Lady (Remember your BEST cloth is someone's RAG and your SALARY is someone's donation)

Lastly. God's factor must be considered.

Whatever God says it's yours would finally be no matter your status, set backs, temptation or difficulties.

**Rest my case**

Adaobi12:
She left you doesn't mean, another lady will do the same. We all are not the same, so you shouldn't generalize. I know many men that are eating on a dinning table today with ladies they drank garri with on the bare floor years bk. Nkechi didn't stay doesn't mean that Nkiru will do the same.

sure, Nkiru is not the same as nkechi.
nkechi may have left for a richer man, but nkiru will leave for a more handsome man, nkoyo will leave for a younger man, nkese will leave for oyibo man. . . .
all of them will leave for some reason o . . . . . . . .

then when they start aging they will all come back. . . . . . . "oh charles you know i really loved you since childhood . . bla bla bla" . . . . . . ashi ashi. . . . Liars without borders

[color=#770077][/color]

Rapmoney:
Be patient while you read this...

If you are a young and ambitious dude still struggling to get to the top, this write-up will save you the stress and pains of the so-called love we have been deceived about for long!

If you still think that there's what is called 'true love' or 'love without money or resources', then you must be living in a fool's paradise!!! (Quote me if you like!)

The truth of the matter is that what people in the past enjoyed as 'true love' no longer exist. Then it was possible for a man and a woman to fall in love based on personal qualities or characters without materialism attached to it! Those were the good old days! Our society has changed and any one who still lives in the past is not better than the village idiot!!!

I have heard people saying often times that love or relationship is not all about money! To me, that's the highest level of trash and rubbish! If you are a young man with ambition, still striving and toiling to make it, you better forget about love and concentrate full-time...I mean 100% on your dreams and life.
It is so frustrating to see some struggling dudes killing themselves over love issues! What a life! Why spend the meagre salary you earn after working for 30 days like a donkey on a girl? She tells you she needs a phone, you struggle to buy it! She says she needs money for hair, you struggle to give her! She tells you she needs to get a nice bag or pair of shoes she saw at a boutique, you struggle to give her! Be rest assured that you will continue to struggle endlessly in your life if you don't desist from such shameful and wasteful act! If you want to know the extent to which materialism has eaten into this so-called love, watch even the younger girls of today! Even those that are below 21 or 22 will quickly run away from you if you can't be giving her upkeep money, money for hair and phone, etc The mature ones? If you don't live comfortably well, sorry, you are on your own!!! Except for those village girls that are not exposed...but seriously, not in the cities of Nigeria.

Before you criticize me on the fact that these women need to live a comfortable life by hanging out with only comfortable dudes, read the topic again! It is surely the same reason why I said young struggling men should forget about love and focus on their lives!!! When you are comfortable, you can have the resources to sustain your relationship because no matter how a woman 'loves' you, the 'love' must surely die if there's no finance to sustain it!

Adams Oshiomole (not handsome) just got married to pretty Lara Forte! Do you think she didn't see all the tall handsome dudes with six-packs before tying the knot with the governor?

Goodevening everyone!

Rapmoney:
Be patient while you read this...

If you are a young and ambitious dude still struggling to get to the top, this write-up will save you the stress and pains of the so-called love we have been deceived about for long!

If you still think that there's what is called 'true love' or 'love without money or resources', then you must be living in a fool's paradise!!! (Quote me if you like!)

The truth of the matter is that what people in the past enjoyed as 'true love' no longer exist. Then it was possible for a man and a woman to fall in love based on personal qualities or characters without materialism attached to it! Those were the good old days! Our society has changed and any one who still lives in the past is not better than the village idiot!!!

I have heard people saying often times that love or relationship is not all about money! To me, that's the highest level of trash and rubbish! If you are a young man with ambition, still striving and toiling to make it, you better forget about love and concentrate full-time...I mean 100% on your dreams and life.
It is so frustrating to see some struggling dudes killing themselves over love issues! What a life! Why spend the meagre salary you earn after working for 30 days like a donkey on a girl?  She tells you she needs a phone, you struggle to buy it! She says she needs money for hair, you struggle to give her! She tells you she needs to get a nice bag or pair of shoes she saw at a boutique, you struggle to give her! Be rest assured that you will continue to struggle endlessly in your life if you don't desist from such shameful and wasteful act! If you want to know the extent to which materialism has eaten into this so-called love, watch even the younger girls of today! Even those that are below 21 or 22 will quickly run away from you if you can't be giving her upkeep money, money for hair and phone, etc  The mature ones?  If you don't live comfortably well, sorry, you are on your own!!! Except for those village girls that are not exposed...but seriously, not in the cities of Nigeria.

Before you criticize me on the fact that these women need to live a comfortable life by hanging out with only comfortable dudes, read the topic again! It is surely the same reason why I said young struggling men should forget about love and focus on their lives!!! When you are comfortable, you can have the resources to sustain your relationship because no matter how a woman 'loves' you, the 'love' must surely die if there's no finance to sustain it!

Adams Oshiomole (not handsome) just got married to pretty Lara Forte! Do you think she didn't see all the tall handsome dudes with six-packs before tying the knot with the governor? 

Goodevening everyone!

Rapmoney:
Be patient while you read this...

If you are a young and ambitious dude still struggling to get to the top, this write-up will save you the stress and pains of the so-called love we have been deceived about for long!

If you still think that there's what is called 'true love' or 'love without money or resources', then you must be living in a fool's paradise!!! (Quote me if you like!)

The truth of the matter is that what people in the past enjoyed as 'true love' no longer exist. Then it was possible for a man and a woman to fall in love based on personal qualities or characters without materialism attached to it! Those were the good old days! Our society has changed and any one who still lives in the past is not better than the village idiot!!!

I have heard people saying often times that love or relationship is not all about money! To me, that's the highest level of trash and rubbish! If you are a young man with ambition, still striving and toiling to make it, you better forget about love and concentrate full-time...I mean 100% on your dreams and life.
It is so frustrating to see some struggling dudes killing themselves over love issues! What a life! Why spend the meagre salary you earn after working for 30 days like a donkey on a girl? She tells you she needs a phone, you struggle to buy it! She says she needs money for hair, you struggle to give her! She tells you she needs to get a nice bag or pair of shoes she saw at a boutique, you struggle to give her! Be rest assured that you will continue to struggle endlessly in your life if you don't desist from such shameful and wasteful act! If you want to know the extent to which materialism has eaten into this so-called love, watch even the younger girls of today! Even those that are below 21 or 22 will quickly run away from you if you can't be giving her upkeep money, money for hair and phone, etc The mature ones? If you don't live comfortably well, sorry, you are on your own!!! Except for those village girls that are not exposed...but seriously, not in the cities of Nigeria.

Before you criticize me on the fact that these women need to live a comfortable life by hanging out with only comfortable dudes, read the topic again! It is surely the same reason why I said young struggling men should forget about love and focus on their lives!!! When you are comfortable, you can have the resources to sustain your relationship because no matter how a woman 'loves' you, the 'love' must surely die if there's no finance to sustain it!

Adams Oshiomole (not handsome) just got married to pretty Lara Forte! Do you think she didn't see all the tall handsome dudes with six-packs before tying the knot with the governor?

Goodevening everyone!

May God bless you and your generation. May He bless any thing that identifies with you.
I feel pained to see so many young guys who are struggling to make ends meet over spending so extravagantly on girls whom they know are not for them. What these girls want from you is just to drain you and become better persons for other better and attractive guys. When they see someone richer than you, they simply dump you.
I better spend my money on my younger once (brothers & sisters) who will one day be of value to me and the society than waste it on "Tobi Bank" (i.e underwear Bank). Money spent on a lady just for what is in her pant does not give returns, but when you invest such monies in peoples lives (human capital), the results are alway more profitable. Be warned: money invested in 'Underwear Bank can not be withdrawn' while the former can.
You are free to call me any name you so wish, be it broke guy, stingy, husler, e.t.c I don't care.

Acidosis:
Lol

I used to share the same reasoning with OP until I realise success has no definition.

Whether you earn 20k or 150k, you'll always see a woman who would love you and ready to settle with you. I've come to realise no amount of money is ever enough.

Set your target at N200k/monthly, by the time you reach your target, the trickle down effect will affect your entire life such that you'll start buying perfume worth N50k. At that stage, you'll realise N200k is no longer enough to settle down... and the trend continues. Its basic economics- human wants are insatiable.

Telling a level '08 NSCDC officer or level '08 F.G Teacher of N27 years old to forget love and face hustling is like telling him to delay his offspring. Even if you hustle and sweat, you can't rise above the stipulated years for promotion.

The aforementioned principle applies to our everyday life; you just cannot run faster than destiny - it can only be delayed.

Also I think your write-up should be directed at students. A guy of 24+ should never forget love. If LOVE is a distraction, what do you call CLUBBING, WOMANISING, CHAMPIONS LEAGUE, Play Station, Android Tweaks, BBM, FACEBOOK?

I think its better to settle down with a reasonable lady and remain faithful. Those who miss it are those who spend carelessly to impress a thousand and random girls in exchange for s e x. Spending on 'A' lover shouldn't distract anyone. I don't know where some of you meet your girls, but I know there are reasonable ones out there who hardly make demands. In fact some don't ask!

If a young man can't find love, remember the destiny of your offspring lies in your hands! You wouldn't want to settle down with an o l o s h o at old age. Imagine driving your kids to Montessori academy at age 50 when your mates' are already playing with grand children around the house - all in the name of hustling as if we can make all the money in the world.

In summary, hard work pays but it doesn't pay everyone equally; likewise, relationship pays, but not all survive the accompanying impediments.

Am in Luv wit u already. This is brilliant

preselect:
sure, Nkiru is not the same as nkechi.
nkechi may have left for a richer man, but nkiru will leave for a more handsome man, nkoyo will leave for a younger man, nkese will leave for oyibo man. . . .
all of them will leave for some reason o . . . . . . . .

then when they start aging they will all come back. . . . . . . "oh charles you know i really loved you since childhood . . bla bla bla" . . . . . . ashi ashi. . . . Liars without borders

. that's your own opinion.

Abeg Was Lara Forte a widow too Abi is her marriage with oshiomole her first ever

omojoshy:
Just be contented with the one you already have, streamline her, work on her flaws and make her suit your taste @ Agarawu23.

Your attitudes, approach to issues, integrity, ambitions and determination to succeed in life would bring out the 'true love' in her (Remember ladies aren't FOOLS and you can't buy their true love)

Women make FINAL decisions @ their quiet time, they could seek for advise here and there though.

If you don't 'take care' of your girl, someone else would but avoid not 'spending to impress' a Lady (Remember your BEST cloth is someone's RAG and your SALARY is someone's donation)

Lastly. God's factor must be considered.

Whatever God says it's yours would finally be no matter your status, set backs, temptation or difficulties.

**Rest my case**

. Good one bro.

Why you come talk before me now. E b like say u make juny enta ma mind.

Many good women have married the average Joe. No need generalising because of one Lara Forte.

How many Oshiomhole's are out there and people have been getting married every weekend.

Many good women have married the average Joe. No need generalising because of one Lara Forte.

How many Oshiomhole's are out there and people have been getting married every weekend.

Adaobi12:
. Good one bro.

hmmm

omojoshy:
Just be contented with the one you already have, streamline her, work on her flaws and make her suit your taste @ Agarawu23.

Your attitudes, approach to issues, integrity, ambitions and determination to succeed in life would bring out the 'true love' in her (Remember ladies aren't FOOLS and you can't buy their true love)

Women make FINAL decisions @ their quiet time, they could seek for advise here and there though.

If you don't 'take care' of your girl, someone else would but avoid not 'spending to impress' a Lady (Remember your BEST cloth is someone's RAG and your SALARY is someone's donation)

Lastly. God's factor must be considered.

Whatever God says it's yours would finally be no matter your status, set backs, temptation or difficulties.

**Rest my case**

on point bro