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Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by castruccio(m): 12:45pm On May 16, 2015
Rapmoney:
Be patient while you read this...

If you are a young and ambitious dude still struggling to get to the top, this write-up will save you the stress and pains of the so-called love we have been deceived about for long!

If you still think that there's what is called 'true love' or 'love without money or resources', then you must be living in a fool's paradise!!!cool (Quote me if you like!)

The truth of the matter is that what people in the past enjoyed as 'true love' no longer exist. Then it was possible for a man and a woman to fall in love based on personal qualities or characters without materialism attached to it! Those were the good old days! Our society has changed and any one who still lives in the past is not better than the village idiot!!!

I have heard people saying often times that love or relationship is not all about money! To me, that's the highest level of trash and rubbish! If you are a young man with ambition, still striving and toiling to make it, you better forget about love and concentrate full-time...I mean 100% on your dreams and life.
It is so frustrating to see some struggling dudes killing themselves over love issues! What a life! Why spend the meagre salary you earn after working for 30 days like a donkey on a girl? She tells you she needs a phone, you struggle to buy it! She says she needs money for hair, you struggle to give her! She tells you she needs to get a nice bag or pair of shoes she saw at a boutique, you struggle to give her! Be rest assured that you will continue to struggle endlessly in your life if you don't desist from such shameful and wasteful act! If you want to know the extent to which materialism has eaten into this so-called love, watch even the younger girls of today! Even those that are below 21 or 22 will quickly run away from you if you can't be giving her upkeep money, money for hair and phone, etc wink The mature ones? If you don't live comfortably well, sorry, you are on your own!!! Except for those village girls that are not exposed...but seriously, not in the cities of Nigeria.

Before you criticize me on the fact that these women need to live a comfortable life by hanging out with only comfortable dudes, read the topic again! It is surely the same reason why I said young struggling men should forget about love and focus on their lives!!! When you are comfortable, you can have the resources to sustain your relationship because no matter how a woman 'loves' you, the 'love' must surely die if there's no finance to sustain it!

Adams Oshiomole (not handsome) just got married to pretty Lara Forte! Do you think she didn't see all the tall handsome dudes with six-packs before tying the knot with the governor?

Goodevening everyone!

Rapmoney na true you talk you spoke my mind but at the same time I think one can still "stand in love" (not fall oo!!) with sense by differentiating the arm robber motors from the average gals out there so as not to enter one chance after you don hama cheesy cheesy cheesy cool
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Toks2008(m): 12:45pm On May 16, 2015
Honestly i just tire for this trash called love and yes Op is so right but that is a Nigerian thing. Many ladies outside Nigeria will love you even if you are a conductor so its an endemic problem with Nigerian ladies.

This is why im even sacred to marry a Nigerian lady not for any other reason but the fact that you will hardly find one that will not attach love to materialism.

Even the ones who claim to love you do so because they hope you will make it big time and if they wait for sometime and things don't improve as they want they will leave your broke ass.

The only lady i can date now is the one that has something doing, the one that is financially independent at least she will give me space to get to the zenith of my career.

I really pity Nigerian dudes that are still struggling to get to the top except you are very fortunate to see a lady that belongs to the very few Nigerian girls of substance who cares less about your material status i guess you are on your own.

2 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by yummylookintoks: 12:46pm On May 16, 2015
My post might sound offensive or boasting but i just have to share my experience with Nairalanders so as to see things from different perspectives.

And tender unreserved apology to anybody that would probably find my post offensive or insensitive, most especially ladies in the house. It's what it's brothers and sisters.

My stories are quite different from what I had read or heard either online or offline in recent time even today. I have read online and heard all sort of stories offline about how guys spend money on ladies. This has made me to asked myself how come i have never experienced the same thing in my over 15 years of dating ladies.

My first relationship was when i was in JSS 3 which was in 1993 and till my retirement as a bachelor, I hardly spend my pence for ladies, they spent theirs instead.

I have dated black and white girls( gorgeous and sophisticated babes) but none has ever asked me for money. The only moments i spent my money on behalf of ladies are those moments in stores, buying tube Youghurt, Lubricant and Condoms for our maximum pleasure.

You might choose not to believe what i am about to say but it's nothing but unrefined truth. 100% of my past girlfriends do the spending from wines to any outing expenses. I m so used to it that fuelling my car became the responsibility of any of them with me at the point of going out.

And guess what, I am not d type that call ladies on the phone. It's either you do the calling as girlfriends or quit, its your choice. My family members have talked to me about this call thing but trust me I just can't be bothered. One thing I hate most in my life is talking on the phone; it's the most tedious task on earth for me; phobia for it.

I found happiness in myself without any emotional attachment with any lady but I am very very good person in terms of my relationship with ladies as long as money wasn't involved.


I AM YET TO SEE A LADY ASKING ME FOR MONEY.

1 Like

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by OrlandoOwoh(m): 12:47pm On May 16, 2015
iAmCharis:
Gbam!!

It's even safer to have someone when things are not so well financially. You see, when a man had it made already, chances are he's going to marry someone he wouldn't want to someone he doesn't really know her character. When they know the money is there, they start acting all nice, now what you love in a woman and start feigning your dream woman. Only for you to marry her and realize she's the total opposite. A friend recently told me about a story of her uncle. The man was well loaded before he got married. He took a month leave from work one day and told his wife that he has lost his job. He started acting broke all of a sudden. Can you imagine in less than a month, this woman said she can no longer continue with the marriage. She packed and left her husband. The man even went to see the woman's people but they drove him out.


It's when you've not made it you know those who truly love you.
Wetin be the name of the Nollywood movie?
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by mechanics(m): 12:47pm On May 16, 2015
As 4 me nt all girls go 4 money, once one is ambitious n hardworking no matter wen d girl comes around she wil definitely stay cos beta days lies ahead.
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by castruccio(m): 12:48pm On May 16, 2015
agarawu23:
nice one rapmoney.

I am in support of your write up But I want us to look it from another angle.

I am not in support of a young hustling guy spending lavishly on a Lady he is yet to marry but that doesn't mean he should not fall in love.(he should apply sense)

If he finally forget about ladies, chase his dream and later succeed, how will he find true love ? (no be our girls of nowadays? Ferrari things grin)

What if the guy is not destined to be rich? I am sure he will still settle down with one (though she might not be his dream girl)

We have few ladies who don't care if a guy is rich or poor, all they want is true love (bros I still dey find them o grin)



Haba Agarawu !!! shocked who tell you say person no de destined to be rich? everyone is, if one work hard and smart at it he will be rich cool
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by stan241(m): 12:48pm On May 16, 2015
Nairaland and its issues with hasty generalisations especially towards the women folk, we should learn not to use our personal experiences to make a general statement......@op u made some really good points and gave really good advises to young folks who took time to read through what you wrote BUT let's not always be quick to judge ladies all over because of a few lousy ones, from experience if you meet a lady who truly loves you in the deepest sense of that word "love" forget it na u go chase am broke or not, as long as she sees the effort u putting in to make your situation better than what it already is, no matter how rich or broke one is you are bound to spend in a relationship as a guy now the level to which you do this spending is another issue altogether but I refuse to subscribe to the notion that one must be very comfortable before finding "love" or that no Nigerian Lady is ready to settle with a struggling guy. These ladies marrying guys and by ladies i mean even graduates getting married every saturday to guys who stay in one bedroom apartments or face me I face you, do you think they didn't have better suitors? Most probably believe that things won't always be that way because they have seen something only they can see in that guy and are ready to stick it out with him and p.s. As a guy one should also learn to cut his coat according to his size that for me is another problem cus you see her and her friends in different cars every weekend going to one event and the other and you that just finished NYSC say that's the type of girl you are in "love" with and when she eventually agrees and starts to demand stuff regularly you come here and say "all girls are the same"...

2 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Sigo86(m): 12:48pm On May 16, 2015
Adaobi12:
I disagree with your write up. there are a thousand one girls out there, willing to love and swim the red sea with a hardworking broke dude.
As long as he is hardworking, I will stick with him because I know someday Oluwa go reason him matter.

Ur own case na 1 out of 10.... So, talk about something else. angry
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by SwingzProsper(m): 12:49pm On May 16, 2015
ronald4lif:
Nice one bruv.

I subscribe to your line of reasoning. It is advisable for a guy who's still struggling not to focus on a relationship and fall for the deceit called love. Love without money is not worth it. It gets you distracted from pursuing your goals and drain your scarce resources.

A relationship can't survive without money and that girl you're spending your little money and investing on today could dump your ass tomorrow for your age mates who had their priorities right while you were deceiving yourself with love.

Love won't pay the bills either now or after you're married so why waste your time when you can make something meaningful out of life now. That girl you're spending on will only succeed in ruining you up. It is on record that most relationship arguments and divorces stem from finances and the management of the home. How would you handle that when you don't have money?.

I'm not dismissing the importance of a woman in a man's life but priorities need to be set right. Even if one must embark on a relationship and she keeps demanding for this and that you have to quit it. Don't be manipulated by love. The chances of a woman loving you without money is very slim.

The first question I believe a man should ask himself from a girlfriend who's always demanding money from him is, what if there's no more money?. If you can answer that I believe you would know why she's in the relationship with you.
... Bro,,Thumbs up... U said well... I think its now FOOD FOR THOUGHT to evry youths out dia!!
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by TashaPi: 12:50pm On May 16, 2015
Mintayo:
If u r in a relationship with a lady who is too demanding even if u r financially buoyant, please quit the relationship, a sensible girl will work to support her man! There are ladies that will stick to a guy come what may, these are no parasitic ladies! To me, it's wrong for a lady to be asking for hairdo money from her man or money to buy Brazilian Hair or unnecessary stuffs!
Love doesn't demand!

Am tired of you men!! When it is a woman looking for a rich or comfortable man, she is a gold digger but when it is a man it is love. What gives you the right to judge anyone for wanting to be happy the way they want? I loved a fellow student and the year we graduated he married the daughter of a business mogul and now drives a big car and lives in luxury. He says he fell in love with her. So tell me why wont I want to fall in love with a rich man too? I believe any man who today does not understand the need to be financially independent still has a lot of growing up to do! You want her to support you with her hard earned money but you wont support her. You will enjoy the sex and her money, come clean mouth. Abeg go get a job, joor and stop embarrassing yourselves with this rubbish talks. @Mintayo just summed it well, a sensible man (girl) will work to support his woman (her man)!

3 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Toks2008(m): 12:50pm On May 16, 2015
castruccio:


Rapmoney na true you talk you spoke my mind but at the same time I think one can still "stand in love" (not fall oo!!) with sense by differentiating the arm robber motors from the average gals out there[b] so as not to enter one chance after you don hama[/b] cheesy cheesy cheesy cool


This is my greatest fear but wettin we go do about this case. If you never hama you wil hardly find one that will love you and when you hama you are never sure the one you will get truly love you for you.

Honestly maybe we guys should just forget Nigerian ladies and go outside this country to get a lady who will love you die irrespective. 98% of Nigerian ladies are money freaks,materialistic,object to be used and discarded as long as the money is there and that is why evry soon we will see many ladies in their forties still unmarried. Just wait and see.

7 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by agarawu23(m): 12:50pm On May 16, 2015
castruccio:


Haba Agarawu !!! shocked who tell you say person no de destined to be rich? everyone is, if one work hard and smart at it he will be rich cool
oga , no be everybody go get money even if you work from day1 to day 100. destiny is written. cool

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Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Nobody: 12:50pm On May 16, 2015
OrlandoOwoh:

Wetin be the name of the Nollywood movie?
Believe me it's not a movie.
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Creamz(m): 12:51pm On May 16, 2015
Adaobi12:
I disagree with your write up. there are a thousand one girls out there, willing to love and swim the red sea with a hardworking broke dude.
As long as he is hardworking, I will stick with him because I know someday Oluwa go reason him matter.
You are only saying so because you're trying to be defensive. Many girls are attracted to wealthy handsome or ugly men. But the bottom line is the wealth. Most girls claim to love you and tell you that you are their dream guy. The very moment you are broke, they move unto the next one. They are very use to leaving the treasure and chasing stone.

1 Like

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by kelvine(m): 12:51pm On May 16, 2015
The lesson we should all take as a balance between love and money is starting life early and settling down early. Adolescents should be thought the importance of working hard (both formal and informal) early enough in order to attract the class of spouse they desire, they should also be encouraged to relate with the opposite sex on platonic grounds early.
Parents have more roles to play inculcating morals and contentment in their daughters and teaching their sons the need to be independent and responsible. Religious leaders should focus on righteous living in place of material blessings.
I don't know what to tell the already corrupt older folks, they will live with the consequence of their decision.

1 Like

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by NZEGWUAGU(m): 12:53pm On May 16, 2015
agarawu23:
nice one rapmoney.

I am in support of your write up But I want us to look it from another angle.

I am not in support of a young hustling guy spending lavishly on a Lady he is yet to marry but that doesn't mean he should not fall in love.(he should apply sense)

If he finally forget about ladies, chase his dream and later succeed, how will he find true love ? (no be our girls of nowadays? Ferrari things grin)

What if the guy is not destined to be rich? I am sure he will still settle down with one (though she might not be his dream girl)

We have few ladies who don't care if a guy is rich or poor, all they want is true love (bros I still dey find them o grin)


Wake up from your slumber, there's no true love from any woman. Men who feel loved are men who live with women who know how to cover their own trails perfectly so their guys won't see what they do behind their backs. I agree with the writer on the need for guys to look for material sufficiency first before looking in the direction of women. Even though such sufficiency would not guarantee a woman's love, which is non-existent, it confounds her knowing how easy it will be for you to acquire as many of them as possible if you are pushed by her dismeanour. But imagine if a woman realises you are stuck with her, because you cannot afford other women, then you are finished.

2 Likes

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by stephmike(m): 12:53pm On May 16, 2015
though it's hard to see "true love" which i subscribe to the writer but i don't rule out that it exists .
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Gudnicedeals: 12:56pm On May 16, 2015
You have a point, but I won't take your argument as an absolute fact, it's just relative.
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by TashaPi: 12:58pm On May 16, 2015
Creamz:
You are only saying so because you're trying to be defensive. Many girls are attracted to wealthy handsome or ugly men. But the bottom line is the wealth. Most girls claim to love you and tell you that you are their dream guy. The very moment you are broke, they move unto the next one. They are very use to leaving the treasure and chasing stone.

@creamz, leave @adObi alone! She is alone in that view! If she is struggling will a guy marry her without a job? Will he marry her on the premise that she will one day get a job? Dont say yes o! Cos its not in this life. If there are men here who are working, with bills to pay, tell it as it is! Men and women today are alll out for the same thing, period! Kish to be comfortable!!
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by hensben(m): 12:59pm On May 16, 2015
bakynes:
I agree with the OP 101% because in a country such as Nigeria every Goddamn things is reliant on Money. The basics of life we do not have in Nigeria so love cannot even be built from the Scratch. A typical British person has the basics of life like Housing, water, electricity, gas etc. Even if he doesn't have money the Govt will give him welfare for all that. So it's just the luxuries he won't be able to afford, love can still thrive on the basics of life but a country such as ours if you don't have money no govt will come and give u welfare to take care of basics of life hence love cannot thrive. If you must go into a rship as a struggling man do not put all your heart if she stays she stays and if she leaves you no worries life goes on.
Guys this is it...bro you too much, I have been trying to 'chun' out this write up from my brain box, it summarizes naijaboiy and richmoney's statement.
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Jidefido(m): 12:59pm On May 16, 2015
Rapmoney:
There's nothing like a perfect match! If you are lacking financially, there will always be quarrel! U need to live in the present bro. Gone are the days when couple live peacefully even without money! Those were the days of our parents and grandparents! Get that straight!

Do you know we can change that perception? We have been led by the 'world' that there is actually no love without money. I tell you there is and will always will. True love still exists and will always do.

1 Like

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by castruccio(m): 1:00pm On May 16, 2015
agarawu23:
oga , no be everybody go get money even if you work from day1 to day 100. destiny is written. cool

Ok oooo Agarawa I no fit shout at least i know say ma name go de forbes list last last cool *sips orijin*

1 Like

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by castruccio(m): 1:01pm On May 16, 2015
agarawu23:
oga , no be everybody go get money even if you work from day1 to day 100. destiny is written. cool

Ok oooo Agarawu I no fit shout at least i know say ma name go de forbes list last last cool *sips orijin*
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Nobody: 1:05pm On May 16, 2015
Baba you are right jare
Even if they love at first
Later them go commot




Awon weyrey
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Pope22(m): 1:05pm On May 16, 2015
Same question I keep asking myself:















Where are the good girls please?
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by OrlandoOwoh(m): 1:06pm On May 16, 2015
Mintayo:

My thought exactly, so if a guy doesn't make it till He is 45, He shouldn't get married?
The write-up is flawed to me too!
Is it not better for one to get married at 45 when he has enough money than to keep changing girlfriends he spends money on but leave him because the money is not enough. Think of the trauma he will be passing through.
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by hensben(m): 1:06pm On May 16, 2015
@richmoney, in oshiomhole's case it will be seen as a man getting what he want and the goods was given to him due to he has the money to pay for it grin

1 Like

Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Mintayo(m): 1:08pm On May 16, 2015
TashaPi:


Am tired of you men!! When it is a woman looking for a rich or comfortable man, she is a gold digger but when it is a man it is love. What gives you the right to judge anyone for wanting to be happy the way they want? I loved a fellow student and the year we graduated he married the daughter of a business mogul and now drives a big car and lives in luxury. He says he fell in love with her. So tell me why wont I want to fall in love with a rich man too? I believe any man who today does not understand the need to be financially independent still has a lot of growing up to do! You want her to support you with her hard earned money but you wont support her. You will enjoy the sex and her money, come clean mouth. Abeg go get a job, joor and stop embarrassing yourselves with this rubbish talks. @Mintayo just summed it well, a sensible man (girl) will work to support his woman (her man)!
And who says being rich equates being happy and who says you shouldn't marry a rich man, and who says marrying a rich man means I shouldn't work to support him or the home? Isn't that better than killing the man with too much "I want this,I want that or buy me this or buy me that "!
Maybe I didn't make myself clear, whatever the financial Status of a man, the woman should complement him, it doesn't mean a man shouldn't help or also support the woman!
For me, a lady thats too demanding doesn't deserve any kind of true love!
Same thing applies to the man too, a man that's not independent is a failure unless He do something fast.
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Nobody: 1:09pm On May 16, 2015
Misogynist2014:
Like I told justfollowit , it is manly to collect a woman's money. I didn't come to this world to serve a woman, she came to serve me. All I have, she doesn't lack, except for my powerful and mighty dïck. She's got no excuse.


Bwahaha

You failed to realised that sex is a two-way thing, whether you like it or not, you will give in to your animal instincts when you are with her and she to you.

Try again, please grin
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by Mintayo(m): 1:13pm On May 16, 2015
OrlandoOwoh:

Is it not better for one to get married at 45 when he has enough money than to keep changing girlfriends he spends money on but leave him because the money is not enough. Think of the trauma he will be passing through.
That's why I don't support dating, courtship is more like it, a man shouldn't spend excessively on a woman He is not yet married too, a courtship is a knowing phase, and relationship is a mutual thing, why should you spend excessively on a lady that you are not married to?
Getting married at age 45 is not it, when most of your youthful years are long gone!
Also there are still ladies out there who will stick to a man come What may!
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by OrlandoOwoh(m): 1:15pm On May 16, 2015
pcguru1:
This what happens when kids gain access to free Internet. So what happened to those who are young and getting married. Keep following your mentality am sure you will be one to raise a teenager when you are supposed to retire. This is why I hate nairaland everything has to be battle of the sexes. Someone has a bad experience with a girl or a guy and the rest of us are suppose to take the blame for others. Anyway back to my section. This section is full of it. Adams wedding is his business not mine.
Don't misquote the OP. If you have money and well established, you may marry in your early 20s, not that you will be spending your meagre salary on a lady that you are not sure would get married to you.
Re: Reasons Why Every Young Ambitious Struggling Man Should Forget 'Love' by agarawu23(m): 1:15pm On May 16, 2015
castruccio:


Ok oooo Agarawu I no fit shout at least i know say ma name go de forbes list last last cool *sips orijin*
cool

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