₦airaland Forum

Hmmm, quite tough but still it is a question with a simple answer. It is all about striking a balance. Successful people do have a rare ability of extricating/separating their social life from their vision,mission,goal(s), objectives. "Loneliness" is a term that a person creates in his/her imagination. I have never ever experience loneliness because i am always occupied with productive things to do. I know you are saying to yourself "now that i am successful, what next". You do not need a partner to cure your "loneliness" but rather than see having a life partner as someone that can assist you in achieving your vision. She must be on the same "track" with you. Trust me "the one" will come to you and u will know deep down that she is truly the one but before then keep on breaking more bounds and achieving more goals.

Even unintelligent and unsuccessful men/guys have women/ladies by their sides you know,it is well

Ishilove:
@Oraculus,

Eyah, how touching.

First things first, upload a profile picture.

Register with dating sites. There's no guarantee you will find your choice there, but you will have the experience of sifting through varied choices which in turn will boost your confidence.

Just be yourself, man. There's someone for everyone. I know this. Even if you're a geeky, anti-social person, there's a geeky anti-social woman somewhere going through what you're experiencing. You just need to be connected.

You can create a thread in the Dating and Meetup section, drop your contact details and let the searching sisters connect with you.

You're a good writer, BTW. I was captured by this line

"when the loneliness takes a humanoid form and glares at me over my shoulders"

It's so poetic and the imagery, startling... at least for me. Absolutely lovely.

Hhhhmnm
Dr. Ishilove /matchmaker.

Aitee1:
You too

Thought you're married?

Life is funny you know

I HATE LOVE STORY, CAUSE LOVE HAVE DIE A VERY LONG TIME AGO.

Ravenwolf:
Financially okay/ emotionally depleted.

That pretty sums up my life now.... The loneliness is real, at times when friends gather round share tales of escapades with SO's I just watch from the sidelines, generally I am happy with my life, I focus more on excelling in my job, becoming a better person is topmost and highly important agenda on my list. When I eventually meet the one I want to be a great guy for her, this hope is the one thing that helps me ease my loneliness some nights.

it happens,everyone go through that phase,when you can't combine lots together ,eventuall,it turns around that something is missing,just chill things wil fall in place.

XavierBlue:
Your write up left me with a namby pamby demeanour. Very emotional. Like ishilove said, " there is some one for everyone" it true. Just go on with your hustle, one day, you shall come across yours.


XavierBlue

I love the quote too,its been something am holding on too

Tell yourself these words "I'll be happy. Even if it hurts to try". Watch loads of comedies. Read fun, interesting books. Throw your energies in doing stuff that you love. Hang out with friends, relatives whose company simply enliven the atmosphere of your heart. Pray often. Have conversations with God about your emotions and hurts. Prayer is a wonderful anti-depressant.

And as for finding the one. Unrequited love can escalate feelings of loneliness. Are you deeply in love with anyone at the moment?

Or you're not but searching for that ultimate love? When it comes to matters of the heart, patience is everything. You can't settle for just anyone just because you're lonely or you'll end up in the wrong hands. Just focus on your passions, hobbies that bring you laughter and be on the look out for that eye contact that will change your life forever. Who knows? The one for you may well love you madly from a distance but you are yet to acknowledge her and she may well be too shy to approach you. Or maybe the time just isn't right yet for your missing rib to join with you. There are dozens of ladies out there that can warm your bed but only one that is made for you can warm your heart and love you as you are. And it is possible! You can come together. I'm sure she's somewhere waiting for you, wondering and praying that God should keep her man for her ; "You".


Be happy. Read. Socialize! Follow your passion. True love will unite with you when the time is divine!

Dyt:

Life is funny you know

Hmmmm...getting scared!

Konji don dey hold my guy this rainy season,na now u dey reason barney abi..no worry






On a real though,if i had the so called wealth you have.women will be just for fun (NO TIME)

@ Oraculus, I suspect that you may belong to a special breed of people whom God has separated unto Himself, the Bible calls them Virgins. They are seemingly awkward people who do not appear to fit into the general motions and notions of modern society, because they are ancient and old souls. Because The LORD loves them, they are always successful or comfortable or generally contented people. They are nice and likeable, good people with great souls, but they just do not seem to fit in. Importantly, I suspect they will find it difficult to find love, sustain relationships, and maybe have difficult marriages. They are both males and females

The LORD's Virgins are a special breed of people, if you suspect that you are one,and maybe what I say above describes you, then I advice patience for you. Draw closer to God and be prayerful, the future belongs to you.

Let me show you something in the Bible. In the verses below, It appears Apostle Paul is advocating against marriage, but this not the case because even God's image is complementary male and female (Genesis 1:27).

1 Corinthians 7:25-28
25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

1 Timothy 4:1-3
1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats,

If you look at both citations above, you will see that Paul is addressing only a select audience in 1 Corinthians 7 whom he calls Virgins, because 1 Timothy 4:3 shows us that it is a doctrine of demons to forbid from marriage

Now, who are these virgins?

Revelations 14:4
4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb.

If you suspect you are a virgin, draw closer to God, the worst has passed. Be expectant and prayerful.

Let God's kingdom come.

Aitee1:
Hmmmm...getting scared!

No need to be

softysparky:
I suspect this moniker, he sounds so much like my best friend.

Hmm! So your bestfriend is a guy? That's interesting.

Dyt:
No need to be

Can't help but will try not to

Aitee1:
Can't help but will try not to

Hehehehehe
Funny lady

I needed to make the OP know he's not the only one
There are several
Lots
Was just complementing him

theplushist:
Well i think you should try harder and believe you'l find that one.
Besides i thought id be easier for guys, you are supposed to easily chase what you want. Unlike us, you have to wait to be found.
And don't regret your achievements- there are people out there who neither have achievements nor partners.
Also socialize more (i think)

You are absolutely right. women suffer the most.

@op, if you're actually a successful man, i dont think finding a woman should be a problem for you.

Hmmm. *sighs*

kay29000:
Let me speak for myself...I might ramble a lil while trying to explain myself. The thing is, you give your all to your passion (business, writing...whatever that thing is that has made you a success, or on the road to success), and you just don't have enough 'juice' left to really court/chase women. You want to, but your goal over-rides it. And when you really really need love/loving, you just feel you are incapable of just jumping into the dating ring like that, when you have not been doing any practicing like the average guy. You feel you would do/say the wrong thing. So, you settle for a girl with the list perceived resistance, which may not necessarily be your taste...and might just be like a short term thing, like a 'friend with benefit', cos you also don't want to commit to anyone...Cos you really really value your total freedom...cos you need that total freedom to keep succeeding at what you do.

Bro that sums it up. And i guess op is very religious. Because it happens more to ppl with high level of moral integrity.

Dyt:
Hehehehehe
Funny lady

I needed to make the OP know he's not the only one
There are several
Lots
Was just complementing him

Ok ooo, but you made it look like you're experiencing same so I was wondering why someone married should have a lonely lovelife

anonymousey:
Hmm. I know what you're talking about. I feel you. I've been there.
I chose success in one area above success in the matters of the heart. I've had to rethink my strategy. I am trying to find a way to meet people and BE HUMAN. I've largely forgotten how to.
My poems have been my only companion day and night. www.thetravelerpoems.
I believe that someday soon I will find that someone that makes it all worth it.
I believe you can too. One way, I think, is to find a place where the kind of girl you'd like to be with gather and go often. Meet people in a relatively neutral environment and develop relationships and friendships. Eventually you'll probably find that one you don't want to live without.
I wish you success on this journey just as I wish myself the same. Remember to smile often and let yourself go. Let yourself live and be happy. There's no point living if you can't enjoy life and that has little to do with what you have as much as how you choose you enjoy what you do have. It could have been worse but you are here anyway but not for long. You'll be happy again. Cheers!

Brokenhearted traveller. Your poems are beautiful and I hope you find your 'one' soon. Meanwhile keep pouring your heart through your words, it's a good escape.

plaetton:
Hhhhmnm
Dr. Ishilove /matchmaker.

plaetton!

Oya lets do our own love. Are you successful?

I think so many men are gradually falling into this path of life everyday but we don't get to realize it on time cos we're all about the hustle.

UjSizzle:
Brokenhearted traveller. Your poems are beautiful and I hope you find your 'one' soon. Meanwhile keep pouring your heart through your words, it's a good escape.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I need to find her soon. And she needs to find me. I hope she's not given up on finding me too.

Here I am
Waiting
Till I find you
My heart
My everything
My song
My muse
My mother
My child
My love
My you.

Oraculus:
There are these days.. days when my strength fail me... days when I arrange my successes - things I fought so hard to achieve - before myself and they don't make any atom of sense.

Days when the emptiness.. take this humanoid form, and glare at me over my shoulders... days in which getting the juice out fails to form any meaning.. no matter the inducement.. and then any effort at it becomes a labour in vain.

Then you wish you had this just one person.. anybody..somebody.. better if it's the person u ever wanted but right there ur standing all by ur self and your successes with not a soul to share memories and moments with.

Then you imagine how others did it.. do it.

Then you want to regret all the sacrifices you made to get here but no you refuse cos they still seem worth it.. if only there was just this one person!

Then u remember that when others were socialising and bonding, you were serving compulsory solitude perfecting what seemed to be the most important then.

Now you want to be like others and you have no idea how it is done and again and again, you make effort at being someone's 'the one' but all they see is desperation, lack of wit and a machine.. yes! The machine you have conditioned yourself to be over the years efficient at everything except love

These lonely, cold and tiring nights make fun at you and enjoy how a well respected personality outside falls like a pack of cards inside especially at those times when u turn to ur body for gratification.

I have pain.. deep.. inner pain.. that I wear this nice smile to cover always or so I thought.. as recently, I have started thinking people see through me and visualise vividly the emptiness that lies inside..hmm the way they look at me.

Then I convince myself that they stare at me cos they're seeing this fine person.. that lame excuse does get me through that moment.

I look hard and wish I could see the future and see someone and be rest assured that it will happen.

Cos I have been like this day after day, week, weeks, month, months, year and years!!

And suddenly I realise how nice I have become to people but I wonder why it doesn't work .. probably cos they're seeing a 'nice machine'

I feel exhausted, and sometimes wonder why with my accomplishments I don't get someone walk up to me and make me feel needed

Ofcourse, i'm macho.. this is where I get to melt like ororo in hot frying pan.

Sometimes I try to settle for someone around the corner but that fighter in me refuses to.. prefering to stick to my 'old glory' of getting the best and what I feel I deserve.

Maybe I deserve the best.. yes.. but not the best 'the one'..

Dearie!

U are not the only in that frying pan. U' very got a mate here. At times, I feel I could turn back the hands of the clock. The bitter truth is the higher u climb the lonelier it becomes. Live with it or deal with it. But at that level, true love is only a mirage. Good success is having someone to share the journey and the peculiar experiences with. Peace brother!

2sex:
DAMN... YOU hit the nail on the head... Over 90% of people here missed it including me,,,

But he/she said something about being "macho" in the post...How can he/she be a girl?

@Op, you just described how I feel almost everyday.

Aitee1:
Ok ooo, but you made it look like you're experiencing same so I was wondering why someone married should have a lonely lovelife

OwerriChairman:
Many people do not realise that the Op is a WOMAN.

I've had to read that post again. The use of "macho" sounds very masculine, but then the OP makes mention of being approached (and make me feel needed) and being someone's "the one" and those sound very feminine.

Your wife will come, attend parties and make friends with girls.

This feeling is just a sign to make you aware of how much you have grown, and that you are now ready to share a part of your life.
It'll happen soon, and I believe that you are ready to grab it when it does.
Just be honest. Honest to yourself, honest to those around you.

Wow this is scary

.