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How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by XavierBlue(m): 3:32pm On Jun 07, 2015
Your write up left me with a namby pamby demeanour. Very emotional. Like ishilove said, " there is some one for everyone" it true. Just go on with your hustle, one day, you shall come across yours.


XavierBlue

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by pinkguy(m): 3:35pm On Jun 07, 2015
Life is like rat races, after running its for years u look back and ask urself why running ,right in front of my house right now some kids got birthday going on , this kids respond and help the DJ to sing some local song I can't believe I don't know any of this song , I was I'm I part of this society

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by absoluteSuccess: 3:37pm On Jun 07, 2015
I love my life a great deal. I am my best friend and though I dont have all the money. Friends likes me because I don't doubt if they like me, I'm okay with me being the one liking others. I love people with passion, with the thought that I can make a difference. If I fail, I told myself that I tried my best till I failed. Where I've failed, I see myself as part of my friends' success. I can point to friends who has succeeded or have their dream come true, mine can. I never go after success to be succesful, I go after success to touch life and to be free. Op, a mans life does not consist in what he has, detach yourself from your achievements if you want to be happy and free.

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Desanta(m): 3:42pm On Jun 07, 2015
Dyt:
Seriously I am beginning to think this way
Why not hook up with the op? And see what happens.

1 Like

Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Realtol(m): 3:42pm On Jun 07, 2015
I love this, even with all its grammatical errors it qualifies for a solemn poem...
But what a shame! I can't help you, you just have to do it yourself. You are on the right path brother, you just took a bold step by pouring your weary heart to total strangers like me and other commenters and this will definitely help. But again, I can't help you only YOU can.

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Nobody: 3:43pm On Jun 07, 2015
I suspect this moniker, he sounds so much like my best friend.
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by anonymousey: 3:43pm On Jun 07, 2015
Hmm. I know what you're talking about. I feel you. I've been there.
I chose success in one area above success in the matters of the heart. I've had to rethink my strategy. I am trying to find a way to meet people and BE HUMAN. I've largely forgotten how to.
My poems have been my only companion day and night. www.thetravelerpoems.
I believe that someday soon I will find that someone that makes it all worth it.
I believe you can too. One way, I think, is to find a place where the kind of girl you'd like to be with gather and go often. Meet people in a relatively neutral environment and develop relationships and friendships. Eventually you'll probably find that one you don't want to live without.
I wish you success on this journey just as I wish myself the same. Remember to smile often and let yourself go. Let yourself live and be happy. There's no point living if you can't enjoy life and that has little to do with what you have as much as how you choose you enjoy what you do have. It could have been worse but you are here anyway but not for long. You'll be happy again. Cheers!

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by UjSizzle(f): 3:44pm On Jun 07, 2015
Loneliness is a biitch.

Get out more. Meet people, talk to them, chat up strangers if you must. But do not go with the mindset that you're searching for something, because you start thinking this is a rat race and all your filters are up.
I've learned you find the things you want the most when you let your guards down and stop searching actively. A desperate person can miss the most subtle details. But someone who's living life sees everything.

In the meantime, writing like this helps, music too. And go take a picture-- you'll learn to appreciate life more.

Best wishes smiley

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by OwerriChairman(f): 3:46pm On Jun 07, 2015
Many people do not realise that the Op is a WOMAN.

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by GodMode: 3:47pm On Jun 07, 2015
UjSizzle:
Loneliness is a biitch.

Get out more. Meet people, talk to them, chat up strangers if you must. But do not go with the mindset that you're searching for something, because you start thinking this is a rat race and all your filters are up.
I've learned you find the things you want the most when you let your guards down and stop searching actively. A desperate person can miss the most subtle details. But someone's who's living life sees everything.

In the meantime, writing like this helps, music too. And go take a picture-- you'll learn to appreciate life more.

Best wishes smiley

No one is lonely... there's an inner voice to talk to always... a person has to be internally happy to cure loneliness or just marry and have kids.

1 Like

Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by gentlezypher: 3:49pm On Jun 07, 2015
theplushist:
And you guys explain why? I mean you're guys right? Why cant you just walk up to someone? (This is me being curious, not rude)
Not as you think, there alot of factors considered
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by UjSizzle(f): 3:51pm On Jun 07, 2015
GodMode:


No one is lonely... there's an inner voice to talk to always... a person has to be internally happy to cure loneliness or just marry and have kids.
No one is 'alone', but people do get lonely when there's no one to share life with. Even with all the inner joy in the world, life can still feel empty to the best of us. Marriage is a good way to cure oneself or being in a romantic relationship (as unmarried couples) as is common in this age.

But to say loneliness isn't real....

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Davvymavvy(f): 3:53pm On Jun 07, 2015
GodMode:


People need to learn how to be happy with themselves... Loneliness is a choice... nothing stops a person from socializing..

Well, loneliness is a choice so you opined but i must say, it does'nt work that way. What works for me might not work for you and as such, we have different people with varying reasons for depleted happiness, some, for reasons that are beyond their control. And if you think is about socializing? Some have got that, i mean, active social life, they operate at a high frequecy, yet, they feel that void, that emptiness and loneliness for what they think they deserve that is out of their reach.

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by 2sex(m): 3:54pm On Jun 07, 2015
Ravenwolf:
Financially okay/ emotionally depleted.

That pretty sums up my life now.... The loneliness is real, at times when friends gather round share tales of escapades with SO's I just watch from the sidelines, generally I am happy with my life, I focus more on excelling in my job, becoming a better person is topmost and highly important agenda on my list. When I eventually meet the one I want to be a great guy for her, this hope is the one thing that helps me ease my loneliness some nights.
That;s summarizes it all... I found one and I aint letting go.... even though
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by 2sex(m): 3:56pm On Jun 07, 2015
GodMode:


No one is lonely... there's an inner voice to talk to always... a person has to be internally happy to cure loneliness or just marry and have kids.
man is an insatiable animal and there comes a time when the inner voice is inaudible...
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by baby124: 3:57pm On Jun 07, 2015
I will tell you something that may help you. You know the problem with guys? You people have herd mentality. The most crazy nut job amongst you sets the pace and expectation. Which is one of the strangest things I have noticed about guys and their friends. You people listen to the ones amongst you whose life is in shambles and one who on a normal day, if not for circumstances that brought you together, you would never have been friends. The one who am outsider will look at and think, this guy has mental problems. You know the one that tells you what kind of girl you should marry, how your future wife should relate with you, what and how you should treat women. See, the most successful men in successful relationships have a mind of their own and they treat their women like their own body. They listen to the fake macho talk and they know better. You may be brilliant and successful but you put other's expectations ahead of what works for you. It's time to start thinking about your future and putting the expected aside. How can you let another's opinion of how they will degrade a woman rule your life in finding the one. Make your own rules and have an open mind. Your wife is not who you expect. Of course have standard expectations but know that no one is perfect. You can never have perfection because you are not perfect. There are so many good women around you, think for yourself and your future and go for that one woman who will fill that role. Never let an outsider determine your future because only you will live in the reality. If you are a good person, you will find a good wife.

That is how some of you find women, treat her bad. Before you say jack, your best friend has married her. And they have a great marriage. You wonder why the best friend did not keep the code. Code my left yansh. When one who is independent minded sees a good woman, they will betray any and everything because they have found their life partner. Which is more important than any friendship that is only there to poison and put them in eternal single brotherhood.

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Nobody: 3:58pm On Jun 07, 2015
The rich also cry...

Bros I totally understand you. In fact, I have painted this scenario to a particular guy a gazillion times before when he's too busy chasing all the goodies of the world and neglect to nurture love. The heart finds its wealth and riches in other(s). Love is the most important phenomena on earth! I know someone who has millions worth of properties but died recently on his birthday of kidney related issues which he refused to take seriously on time cos he thought his recurrent sickmesses are emotional related. He lost a love cos there wasn't much time to nurture the relationship.

Anyways, op open your heart, look beyond perfection. Love and happiness is at zenith when flaws of that special persons are embraced. Teamlooooveeee!

1 Like

Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Desanta(m): 3:59pm On Jun 07, 2015
OwerriChairman:
Many people do not realise that the Op is a WOMAN.

Is that so? How can you tell?

1 Like

Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Nobody: 3:59pm On Jun 07, 2015
Go out and approach more ladies.
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Nobody: 3:59pm On Jun 07, 2015
Ishilove:
@Oraculus,

Eyah, how touching.

First things first, upload a profile picture.

Register with dating sites. There's no guarantee you will find your choice there, but you will have the experience of sifting through varied choices which in turn will boost your confidence.

Just be yourself, man. There's someone for everyone. I know this. Even if you're a geeky, anti-social person, there's a geeky anti-social woman somewhere going through what you're experiencing. You just need to be connected.

You can create a thread in the Dating and Meetup section, drop your contact details and let the searching sisters connect with you.

You're a good writer, BTW. I was captured by this line

"when the loneliness takes a humanoid form and glares at me over my shoulders"

It's so poetic and the imagery, startling... at least for me. Absolutely lovely.
Me too . the humanoid form caught my attention.. Sounds digitally entrenched , poetic line of a tech guru.......

Don't disconnect yourself totally while u search for success .stay connected .once in a while "hello" can save nine. my 2cent

2 Likes

Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Cindino20(m): 4:03pm On Jun 07, 2015
Oraculus:
There are these days.. days when my strength fail me... days when I arrange my successes - things I fought so hard to achieve - before myself and they don't make any atom of sense.

Days when the emptiness.. take this humanoid form, and glare at me over my shoulders... days in which getting the juice out fails to form any meaning.. no matter the inducement.. and then any effort at it becomes a labour in vain.

Then you wish you had this just one person.. anybody..somebody.. better if it's the person u ever wanted but right there ur standing all by ur self and your successes with not a soul to share memories and moments with.

Then you imagine how others did it.. do it.

Then you want to regret all the sacrifices you made to get here but no you refuse cos they still seem worth it.. if only there was just this one person!

Then u remember that when others were socialising and bonding, you were serving compulsory solitude perfecting what seemed to be the most important then.

Now you want to be like others and you have no idea how it is done and again and again, you make effort at being someone's 'the one' but all they see is desperation, lack of wit and a machine.. yes! The machine you have conditioned yourself to be over the years efficient at everything except love

These lonely, cold and tiring nights make fun at you and enjoy how a well respected personality outside falls like a pack of cards inside especially at those times when u turn to ur body for gratification.

I have pain.. deep.. inner pain.. that I wear this nice smile to cover always or so I thought.. as recently, I have started thinking people see through me and visualise vividly the emptiness that lies inside..hmm the way they look at me.

Then I convince myself that they stare at me cos they're seeing this fine person.. that lame excuse does get me through that moment.

I look hard and wish I could see the future and see someone and be rest assured that it will happen.

Cos I have been like this day after day, week, weeks, month, months, year and years!!

And suddenly I realise how nice I have become to people but I wonder why it doesn't work .. probably cos they're seeing a 'nice machine'

I feel exhausted, and sometimes wonder why with my accomplishments I don't get someone walk up to me and make me feel needed

Ofcourse, i'm macho.. this is where I get to melt like ororo in hot frying pan.

Sometimes I try to settle for someone around the corner but that fighter in me refuses to.. prefering to stick to my 'old glory' of getting the best and what I feel I deserve.

Maybe I deserve the best.. yes.. but not the best 'the one'..
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by bueze046(m): 4:04pm On Jun 07, 2015
mehn....seriously I really use to think about this at time but I know DAT wen I get there I will find a solution for dat.....

But for you brother thing about employing a lady clerk,and before you might gone through three to four you must fell in love with someone and trust me the best one really.

2 Likes

Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by 2sex(m): 4:07pm On Jun 07, 2015
OwerriChairman:
Many people do not realise that the Op is a WOMAN.
DAMN... YOU hit the nail on the head... Over 90% of people here missed it including me,,, shocked shocked shocked shocked
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by sisisioge: 4:09pm On Jun 07, 2015
Life and needs. Our quest for life needs move up the ladder, then comes back to the very base again. A critism of Abraham Maslow's postulation on motivation a lot of people continually contest. Well, I believe in love, family, friendship...those beat the mansions and exotic cars in my book. Just look for someone and grease the relationship.

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by sirhot(m): 4:12pm On Jun 07, 2015
softysparky:
I suspect this moniker, he sounds so much like my best friend.
I've just found mine... Every other person should stay clear...

Come to me baby... kiss kiss
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by emzila(m): 4:13pm On Jun 07, 2015
OwerriChairman:
Many people do not realise that the Op is a WOMAN.
do u just say she is a woman?
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by LyfeJennings(m): 4:14pm On Jun 07, 2015
Hmmm!!!

Lemme pour my heart here first. Its funny when I read this, knowing this is one problem I'm gonna deal with the coming months. Even as I never get money, I deal with it but with the kind of success I imagine in the nearest future, this issue might be more than heavy for me to deal with and considering my release therapy (Drugs most especially weed & sex) have develop a form of resistance to my body, I wonder how I'm going to make it through.

Truf is U should appreciate what U have & make best use of it to get what you want. Despite, all I foresee, I'd rather be SUCCESSFUL & LONELY than be BROKE & have people around. Please brov, be glad for what you have and where U are. The right one would come at the right time

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Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Nobody: 4:18pm On Jun 07, 2015
theplushist:
And you guys explain why? I mean you're guys right? Why cant you just walk up to someone? (This is me being curious, not rude)
See the way you talk like its that easy to JUST walk up to someone. You can't just walk up to anyone like that. Girls are not helping matters too. They way most of you treat guys who walk up to you can be discouraging.

1 Like

Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Panshow(m): 4:22pm On Jun 07, 2015
This is what I think every day.
Re: How Do The Successful Combat A Lonely Lovelife? by Kentrasso(f): 4:23pm On Jun 07, 2015
"Nice machine" how did we get to this point??
I smile at everybody and they all think am fine and have lotss of friends. How wrong they are!

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