₦airaland Forum

Toks2008:
I do not ecpect guys to like this write up and would have taken this as your personal opinion but the derogatory remarks you made has turned it to a rethorical,historical,and ecclesiastical mombo jumbo.

Now sit ur ass down and tagg everyone who seconded your opinion to come learn.

First n foremost it is apparent that you are oblivious of the fact that indeed im a mature man both in age and life experience and i stand to be challenged that long courtship is a facade.

Any one who comprehended the write up will agree that i stated clearly that LONG courtship is the bone of contention n i nver wrote NO COURTSHIP.

Be as it may,have you ever come across the word due deligence? infct it was due deligence that made you observe the recuring death cases in that guy family which the lady refuse to see.

It is the same due deligence that gave the mArriage of old a better precept because they diig real hard into details of that person before going ahead into marriage.

today guys no longer cares afterall all they want is free sex so who cares to do any due diligence but if you really want to know a lady for even a month its as easy as going to people close to her,the area she lives her friends family members school mates and so on.

A year of sexless courtship is enough to really get to know the rudimentary facts about anyone if you really want to.

This writeup is not for a lady who also wants a sex rump or a teenage girl living out her sexual fantacies but its for a lady of substance,a lady who places value on herself and a lady with focus to understand that a man truly interested in marrying you will nver waste more than a year before proposing marriage to you.

i will stop here

You called my observation due deligence, I call it experience, how long do you think I lived to acquire that and how long has she lived to be looking the wrong way?

I careless how old you claim on a faceless forum, the opinion you wield today is one I wouldn't consider as a teenager regardless of what your biological calender says, based on that, you are a teenager as far as I am concerned.

Now, If you had any experience, you would have met with family councillors who will show you statistical evidence that sex has destroyed more marriages than obstinacy. So while you are free to downplay it in your courtship advise based on your inexperience , the fact on ground speak otherwise that it means a lot to most people in marriage hence they equally prioritize it while courting.

You can see that your advise can be likened to the Roman Catholic celibacy for priests while their leaders are indicted for child molestation .
With this position of yours, you are not an Authority in any relationship subject because your observancies are parochial.
If you had any experience, you will have a more panaromic view.

Lets put your experience to a test, what will be your strategy to determine a defective recessive gene of your spouse?
With your answer, we can assign a time frame to confirm your theory.
I am waiting.

Toks2008:
When a man shows interest in a lady and tells her that he would love to know her better,most times in his heart this is exactly what he is saying: "Hi lady, can i get to have a taste of your goody-bag and have the feel of your body to know if you are good enough in bed and decide if i should keep you for long or dump your ass in a jiffy because i don't really care whether we end up together or not".

I honestly don't believe in dating and even as courtship sounds more reasonable,it is still not really necessary and i will try to list logical reasons why ladies should avoid this lie from the pits of hell called dating or courtship and i hope you learn a great deal from this.


1. A man usually knows if there is a huge possibility of marrying you or just want to use you to pass time the very first day he sets his eyes on you and a man who is really interested in a purposeful affair with you will give you the sign almost immediately with the body language except you refuse to be vigilant.

2. Many Men use dating and courtship as a means of exploring you sexually and probably after he realizes that your bosoms are not as firm as he wants them to be or your sex performance is below what he wants or after he has really used you to his satisfaction then he tells you it can't work out because his mum does not want him to marry from your tribe or just brings up any lame excuse and decides to walk away to get another lady to "date"

3. An Angel can turn to a demon: Many people have argued that dating period is a period where you will know the type of person you have but this assertion is very funny because a good person can turn terrible and most times even if the person seems bad many ladies will still go on and marry him with the hope of changing him.

4.Dating and courtship is a disguised miniature marriage because in many cases when a guy starts dating or courting you,you will be doing some stuffs that wives do and i keep wondering why they still see the union as dating or courting when he is practically having all the benefits he should get from a wife hence the need to continue dating and courting and dating and.. until you suddenly realized you have spent your honey years married unofficially to a man who will probably dump you to marry another lady still in the name of dating.

5.A thousand years of courtship is no guaranty that you will know the man and until you two stay under the same roof as man and wife,you will never come closer to knowing who he really is so why waste your years dating and courting.

6.Most of the marriages of our parents are great examples as most of our parents hardly knew each other before getting married yet many of them had a lasting and loving union but these days despite the celebrated dating and courting culture,many marriages hit the rock.

7.A good union is not hinged on the number of years both of you spend sleeping with each other in the name of dating or courtship but its in learning to love whoever you choose to marry and making up your mind to be with him against all odds.

8. I believe that for a man to ever propose an affair to you then he must have found you good enough to have to himself and for a decent lady to agree to an affair with a man then she is definitely ready to be with the man except she is a slut so why waste time fooling around with each other all in the name of getting to sleep with each other in the name of dating and courtship?

9. A sexless date or courtship is the ideal form of courting where both of you try to know just a peripheral detail about yourselves hence once sex comes in then its no longer dating but unofficial marital union.

10.The responsible and matured guys at heart knows the type of woman they want and do not get involved in baseless dating but simply go for the lady of their choice and marry her.

If you are not ready to marry a lady,don't make advances towards her just to waste her years sampling her and if you are a lady,stop fooling yourself thinking you are dating him whereas you are just giving him your body to be used and probably dumped and understand that dating and courtship are just facade from the pits of hell aimed at destroying the lives of ladies by becoming single unmarried mothers,losing their lives through abortions and many have contracted deadly diseases all in the name of dating.

Lets face it,a year of sexless courtship should be enough and one year is not too much to deprive yourself of sex in order to know that guy better and if a man does not start the process of marrying you within a year then it means you are either dating a small boy for the sake of having sex or you are probably with a man who is not sure he wants you.

I know that all the sermons in the world will not bring sanity to the facade of dating and courtship and if any lady sees this piece and shoves it aside,my advice to such is to continue to serve herself on the alter of sexual ecstasy for as many guys as possible in the name of baseless dating or courtship

My humble opinion and i hope this helps.

@Op: most of ur points r valid, just dt there's much bitterness in ur post, as if u r talkin from experience

Toks2008:
You can never generalize no matter how obviously bad a lady can be.

The best we can do is to give our best to any lady in our lives yet expect the worst from her.

Rightly said.

SmartMugu:
I like the JSS 3 part of your response. Some folks here are really immature and just assume everyone's mindset is as limited as theirs.

He even called himself "experienced " with the opinion of a teenager.
Looking at his dp speak volume.

bqlekan:
you might be right in some instances, what happened to 'getting to know each other, understanding one's differences, building trust, etc'
how do you build a long lasting marriage when you don't court for long?


so ladies should jump from one man to the other until they get married? or remain single till their marriage age and get married to a man they hardly know..

I don't agree with you sir

the problem you have is 'SEX' and not long courtship.. don't confuse people

@bqlekan,
I agree with the message op is trying to pass across.

Let me ask you this: can you court or date for 2years without sex being attached?

Dolcilicious:
Let me ask you this question,if I lady says she isnt interested in whatever money you have to offer her,will you agree not to have sex with her for the duration of your relationship?

Dating or courtship is not primarily for the sex but you can not over rule it completely.
Can you tell us reasons why a woman will refuse sex in her relationship?

Wow! This is a very good write up. Thanks OP. Am saying yes to the available suitor. No wasting time anymore. Long courtship is very very wrong. Am talking from experience.

.

EVILFOREST:
I was dating a particular LADY, but the moment I saw my WIFE , I knew she would be my wife.

One GOOD thing I did was to make sure, I gave out ALL MY GALFRIENDS to my teaming guys and fans before getting married.

And I attended all their weddings.
Though almost all the ladies I dated were marriageable, but I just needed one to prove to me she could be my wife.

When I break Up, I ensure we still maintain resourceful friendship with every incentive at her disposals maintained apart from intimacy and most adored me for that.
One had to name her first CHILD after me.
I ensured, I broke their HEARTS in conformity.

You saw your wife and knew she was your wife? like seriously, or your pastor told you so? What if you met her married would you have taken an oath of celibacy for the fact that your "wife" had been taken?
How many people did you give a description of her to assist in the search since you knew her before hand?
Most of you talk nonsense with confidence.

Wrds 4 d wise

JoeCutie:
Well, she could spread her leg for a nice shave; couldn't she?

Lol, you're crazy

MzNelly:
Lol.... Em.. Username.

Oh, got it.

[quote author=MzNelly post=37901772][/quote]Mznelly, my luv.

abdrazak:
@bqlen,
I agree with the message op is trying to pass across.

Let me ask you this: can you court or date for 2years without sex being attached?

lol.. you don't seem to get my point., I told OP what his problem was.. he has problem with sex and not long courtship.. and No, I can't. Check my last post here, I explained better.

MzNelly:
Lol, you're crazy

C'mon, it's heavenly. You haven't experienced it before?

abdrazak:
@bqlekan,
I agree with the message op is trying to pass across.

Let me ask you this: can you court or date for 2years without sex being attached?

I personally can't date anyone without s.ex attached. Ofcourse I know there are many other things to explore about eachother. S.ex is just one of the things, not everything.
I had to break up with a girl around 12 years ago when she said she wasn't having s.ex before marriage. I respected her views and told her we couldn't continue.

Now, she's happily married to someone now. She just got married last year. So, would I have been the man to wait 11 years, get married to her, then start exploring s.ex with her?
Isn't that like putting cart before the horse?
I definitely know I would have cheated on her with other women that will gladly give it up, so I simply won't stay put in a relationship like that.

Toks2008:
Oh thanks bro. I was actually expecting a backlash from guys because this looks like a show spoiiler lol.

its nt a show spoiler. Dy knw der is truth in wat has bn said above.

Toks2008:
This is why i dont do casuals. I cant touch you if i cant marry you. Never

hmmm... Casuals or not, if u have sex wt someone that has spirits connection either personally or from d family lineage, no protection can save you o

mrdino:
@Op: most of ur points r valid, just dt there's much bitterness in ur post, as if u r talkin from experience

For crying out loud,im a man not a woman so your assertion is a total miss

JoeCutie:
C'mon, it's heavenly. You haven't experienced it before?

No

But em.... *scratches head*

Emodeee:
Mz.nelly, my luv.

Hi dear.

MzNelly:
No

But em.... *scratches head*

But what? Tell me. You know it's safe with me.

SmartMugu:
I personally can't date anyone without s.ex attached. Ofcourse I know there are many other things to explore about eachother. S.ex is just one of the things, not everything.
I had to break up with a girl around 12 years ago when she said she wasn't having s.ex before marriage. I respected her views and told her we couldn't continue.

Now, she's happily married to someone now. She just got married last year. So, would I have been the man to wait 11 years, get married to her, then start exploring s.ex with her?
Isn't that like putting cart before the horse?
I definitely know I would have cheated on her with other women that will gladly give it up, so I simply won't stay put in a relationship like that.

I respect your views on this, but

Why is sex one of those things?(@ bolded) Expatiate.

JoeCutie:
But what? Tell me. You know it's safe with me.

You could... We could.... Em...

Nvm.

MzNelly:
You could... We could.... Em...

Nvm.

If your medicine has finished, lemme know so that I'll supply you with more, you hear?


Well...we could? Uhmm...

JoeCutie:
If your medicine has finished, lemme know so that I'll supply you with more, you hear?


Well...we could? Uhmm...

Could we?

What of all your other wives?

MzNelly:
Could we?
What of all your other wives?

Yes, we could.
My other gini? You know I'm as free as air now. In fact, na you I suppose dey ask that one.

Toks2008:
GOD HAVE MERCY. And the guy is still alive bleeping another lady as if nothing happened.

Well the irony is that im not writing these to gain admiration or any form of attention from ladies because trust me at 40 i have passed the age of lies,fantasies and wishful thinking.

I have been in the marriage institution and there is always room to learn more but my advice to every lady is to read every thread i created as regards relationship issues and take every letter to heart.

Its a wicked world of men and any lady seconding the contrary assertions of guys towards this thread does so at her own peril.

A guy knows if you are the type he can marry the very first time he sees you and it will do you good to maintain proper decorum and watch him closely.

As i have written, this write up is not about sexually loosed teenagers who are still seeking sexual fantasies but its about a disciplined young lady who does not want to be taking advantaged of. I married the lady i made a woman and even if we are no more,she can never say i wasted her years so reasonable ladies should brace up and don't allow any guy turn you into unofficial wife in the name of courtship but if you want to remain foolish then please ride on.

"You married the lady you made a woman", so you disvirgined your wife out of wedlock and still have fingers to type crap!!

JoeCutie:
Yes, we could.

My other gini? You know I'm as free as air now.
In fact, na you I suppose dey ask that one.

It's a lie.

I see them everywhere on top you,

MzNelly:
I respect your views on this, but

Why is sex one of those things?(@ bolded) Expatiate.

I would date someone with the hopes of discovering if we can eventually settle down together someday. For me, how we both percieve eachother s.exually is a criteria that we must explore before tying the knot to be with only eachother for the rest of our lives. It's just one of the criteria that has to be met, there are several other criteria too that both involved want. So, I'm not sure why se.x could be such a big deal to some people.
I sure know it is important for a healthy relationship, and I don't believe in trying it only after marriage.