₦airaland Forum

I often wonder why someone will see a deep well and jump into it. The only solution for you now is spiritual, talk to God.

commitcrime:
My advice is simple.
Stay with your parents till u give birth.
Find a job after ur delivery.
Go back home and nurse ur babies.
The adult baby u call an husband and ur child.
Do not let him impregnate u again until he bcoms responsible

I agree with this.

Op, every marriage has its peculiar challenges, this is your cross for now, 5 months is too short a time to end a marriage, you haven't even started the journey. The good thing is he does not physically assault you. Be a little patient, meanwhile, let your unborn baby be your priority.

Oh no! Please people for once save us the 'pray,pray,pray,fast,fast,fast' thingy and offer more pragmatic pieces of advise.
As per the issue. Yes i support the separation bit for now. Think about the baby and your health and stop worrying about a man who can't be bothered. The painful thing is such people rarely change. You're caught between a rock and a hard place. First things first. Worry about the unborn baby not the overgrown baby.

Marriage crises..Nah!.?? Mbanu! I'd rather remain Single n probably mold husby myself...."" . thankGod for technology!!

Tell God.

[size=18pt]OP, you forgot LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP.
Marriage is like an ocean and if you cannot swim, you will drown.
Both of you married out of lust and it will certainly burst.[/size]

God please am on my kneel begging plz give me my own bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh coz I don't want problem in my marriage and for those that r having problem in their marriage plz lord take perfect control. marriage hmmm I reserve my comment

eherbal:
Madam, Let me Respond By Telling You That What You're Experiencing Is The Dark Cloud That Spells Every Marriage. Like All Dark Clouds It Will Pass. You Don't Sound Like A Praying Person. With That Attribute Absent In Your Life, You're In A State Of Tabula Rasa. A State Of Void And Emptiness .Fill In That Deficit With Prayers.
I Went Through Far Worst With My Wife. Alihamdulillah, It's All A Different Ball Game Now. Whatever Problem We're All Going Thru, Let's Deal With It Spiritually,Before Physically. Take A Cue Gurl. PRAY!. God Bless Your Home And Unborn Child .Amen

We are still praying for electricity in Nigeria,What do you think,We ain't praying hard enough??

I feel bad to read this but the truth is, you noticed all these behaviors before u married him. You probably got hypnotized by his swag or seeming independence and now, it's all coming back to haunt you. Truth, I can't and won't blame u now. The deed is done, na way forward remain.

No 1, I noticed u didn't mention anything about God in your write up, so obviously you are not the praying type. At work this morning, I was chatting with another pretty Nigerian girl (a colleague in the same ministry but different locations), originally from Nigeria (Rivers) but married to a Yoruba guy. This girl, pretty, swagful, young looking (actually 30+ but looks younger), was telling me how she attends a Nigerian prayer meeting from 12-1pm during her lunch time, 2-3 days a week in an rccg church close to d place she works. She also mentioned another early morning prayer gathering she joined months ago in TO. I tripped. This is what wives do. They pray. You don't pray. Before you hate him totally, be a real wife; start praying. Not only for him to change or not, but for God to make you a real wife. Wives pray for their husbands, for d family, etc. Be a praying wife.

No 2. Go back home. Discuss with him. Allow him to rant, shout, etc but act a deeper life girl (scarf on the head, no make up, 10 fingers clutched), make your points known. Don't react when he flares up.just look down at ur fingers or the carpet. Ask him if he still wants to be ur husband. Tell him the things he does that make u feel ashamed. All nicely. Tell him, that he needs to change for your family (u n him) to work n have a blissful future. No arguments, no direct replies. No fights. Don't even meet his gaze. Tell him all the truths in ur heart n head. But in all, no fights. Even if he threatens, be like Steven Gerrard (sorry I like football), no reaction from u.

No 3, advise his mom to talk to him. Sometime moms have that magic wand (well, I think my own mom does). If she acts like her son, then I think you are in a wrong fam.

First, pray ceaselessly to hear from God. Don't expect answers tonight, tomorrow, next week or even next month...just pray like u are ignorant. Thank God. Apologize to Him. Praise Him. And then (like u ll sheepishly ask from a mean but nice father), ask God about your husband. He is a ferocious but nice God.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

you picked the wrong family

A

You knew all these yet married him? Story's probably made up sef, mschew.

OP, when he was forking u well nd hard u were enjoying it, you spent 5yrs enjoying his fork without using ur senses..

His actions nd behaviour did not just start, u ve witnessed it before the marriage but u were enjoying the s3x..


Better leave that axxhole nd know u re now a single mum..
The earlier the better.

Gggy

Dermie:
Gggy

Is that a gay sign

I hate it wen people come here to post stories that touch the heart. I dont sympathize wit u cos u dated him for five years and saw those traits but because u wanted to be a 'Mrs' you married him and now u r soliciting for pity. Pele

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

I'm sorry about this.But did u notice any of theze while dating for 5yrs?

Chaiiiii dat man no b am oohhh,d man no follow at all

Holuwakemmy16:
God please am on my kneel begging plz give me my own bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh coz I don't want problem in my marriage and for those that r having problem in their marriage plz lord take perfect control. marriage hmmm I reserve my comment

Don't worry I won't give u problem at all just that u ain't fair...


#ilovefairgalz..

eherbal:
Madam, Let me Respond By Telling You That What You're Experiencing Is The Dark Cloud That Spells Every Marriage. Like All Dark Clouds It Will Pass. You Don't Sound Like A Praying Person. With That Attribute Absent In Your Life, You're In A State Of Tabula Rasa. A State Of Void And Emptiness .Fill In That Deficit With Prayers.
I Went Through Far Worst With My Wife. Alihamdulillah, It's All A Different Ball Game Now. Whatever Problem We're All Going Thru, Let's Deal With It Spiritually,Before Physically. Take A Cue Gurl. PRAY!. God Bless Your Home And Unborn Child .Amen

Thanks for reminding her of the existence of God and what He can do

Some men sha..I will never treat my wife like this. God forbid bad thing.
No wonder ladies want rich and ready-made guys as husband. Some guys no dey try at all.

My sista i wud jst advise u to giv him a brk,try recover frm ur hlth prblm nd plan for ur pregnant baby.in no tme he wil cme bak to his sense nd sit up to his responsibilities..stupid man

You knew him for 5years


which means you know very well, and you went ahead with marriage.

SMH!

Story have two sides. oya husband let hear your own side.
But in your previous post dated May, 22nd 2012 https://www.nairaland.com/944076/stuck-yoruba-names you said you married, how come now your marriage is five months? can you explain this

And you have dated him for 5 years? How is it possible not to notice all these?

Not only that the post is too long, the comments are also long. nawao

I think your man is just indisciplined and irresponsible, being in the UK he can earn enough by doing customer service or PPI job to sustain your family and he seems to me that he gets work but he is not serious enough to keep it.

I think u better sit him down and talk to him about his life style and his incoming responsibility.

Then secondly better start praying cos only God can change a man's heart. I don't have to tell you how difficult it is to raise a child in as a single mother irrespective of if you have a money or not so do exhaust all options before calling it quit.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

Please don't smash his testicles one day ohh.

What you need to do is to rent an apartment for yourself and just forget about the man for a longtime.

Do not listen to family, don't listen to "I have changed" just forget about him and take good care of yourself. Cos if you DIE, that ediot will go and married another woman.

two things you dont fight for true love and true friends, they come naturally