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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice (30932 Views)
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Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by coogar: 9:36am On Nov 03, 2015 |
Kimoni: send him a PM i will give you a written note to him.
thanks for the vote of confidence! |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 9:41am On Nov 03, 2015 |
queenfav: That is the problem. Once you ask women to look beyond it, you are indirectly saying that it is men's birthright to screw up. Women should have a choice to either stay or leave. It is their choice and choice alone. It is the highest level of hypocrisy to predict what might happen to her afterwards but fail to predict the man's future. Is he also going to keep moving from one woman to another or is he going to just stick to strings of mistresses? I forgot, it is a taboo to talk about the man because he can always take care of himself but let's talk about the woman, isn't she the helpless, hopeless and fragile one? 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Kimoni: 9:44am On Nov 03, 2015 |
Timbuktou: You are hereby sentenced to 75 years of marital labor...you shall till the ground and hand the the fruits to |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by SAMBARRY: 9:44am On Nov 03, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara:celebrity and food section wil at least entertain me.enough of kok and bull stories Abeg faya me reggae blues I no dey for cok and bull |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 9:45am On Nov 03, 2015 |
raumdeuter: No, however it is in Nigeria that a woman must put up with her man's philandering. It is his birthright afterall but if it were the other way round 3 Likes |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Kimoni: 9:47am On Nov 03, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara: You have been calling MTN too much oo but you are tooooo unique, no one can even try |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Kimoni: 9:48am On Nov 03, 2015 |
coogar: Lol...Until Freecocoa and bodashee ratifies it naa that's why I called them |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 9:57am On Nov 03, 2015 |
Kimoni: Aren't you supposed to be just and fair? Wush kain judge be dis one sef? 1 Like
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Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by babygirlfl: 9:59am On Nov 03, 2015 |
daretodiffer: |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 10:09am On Nov 03, 2015 |
Kimoni:Thanks, had d convo with him , he couldn't / didn't deny it. He had no explanation, was just looking at me like a dumb. I left him standing, and left d house. Oh yes, d grief kicked in eventually, cried my eyes out. It just came as a rude shock I guess, now I know better 1 Like |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 10:13am On Nov 03, 2015 |
daretodiffer: The Nigerian marriage situation is not like most others. How many countries have three wedding ceremonies minus introduction and miscellaneous money-consuming activities. Nigerian men have earned the right to be eternal diicks. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 10:16am On Nov 03, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Oh, I gerrit now. Tenk. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 10:20am On Nov 03, 2015 |
dinachi:Bros, no be everybody dey wash thr dirty linen outside o. I for one have no friend I can discuss such with, my sis is my closest friend but I don't discuss my marriage with her. Yes u can say am foolish n immature, maybe I am. Tx 2 Likes |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by coogar: 10:23am On Nov 03, 2015 |
Kimoni: they would soon be here to clear my name.... daretodiffer: some men do put up with their wife's philandering ways too. there's a reason 50% of all firstborns in nigeria are illegitimate. i can bet many of the husbands know that some of those kids don't belong to them but they put up with the situation. stop making it sound like naija wives are saints - they are worse than their male counterparts! |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by babygirlfl: 10:26am On Nov 03, 2015 |
nevanevaland: You will be fine dear. Take your time and take your decision. Whatever decision you take, make sure it is yours. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Kimoni: 10:42am On Nov 03, 2015 |
nevanevaland: It's okay to cry dear, you'll feel better and think more clearly now. My honest opinion on him - I think he is redeemable. Pls don't give up on your marriage just yet. There is a lady on the pregnancy thread who handled this same issue the way you just went about it and the hubby was sober as hell. She confronted him gently and didn't bring up the issue again. He was confused till he couldnt handle the silence from her anymore. Cried his eyes out, asked for forgiveness and they reconciled with promises and limitations from both parties of course. I wish I could ask her to speak with you but I don't wanna embarrass her. If you can, pls tow the same line and see how things play out. I pray your hubby comes to the same realization. Like you said, he might be under the influence of some bad friends especially when you say he wasn't like this before now. **i don't even know if I can do what I am asking of you o cuz I know my weaknesses but if you can, pls do it and I pray all ends well. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by nasha1(f): 10:57am On Nov 03, 2015 |
Kimoni: Among the few sensible ladies on this forum.God bless u. @op listen to this advice and dont listen 2 some people who have nothing good 2 say about matrimony except it is divorce. 1 Like |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by TV01(m): 11:05am On Nov 03, 2015 |
bukatyne:...the title of the thread is "Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I need Some Advice" - pray tell what advice would a "divorce lawyer" give? queenfav:kudos and well said. This sentence could be a banner in this section Only spoilt somewhat by the the post that preceded it - otherwise great ! queenfav:Those who would tarnish marriage, make DV something "men do to women" and sell a dialectic of divorce or death are obviously making headway TV |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 11:17am On Nov 03, 2015 |
coogar: I don't think anyone would tell him that it is in his best interests to put up with a philander.. Therefore you cannot compare at all, at least you have a choice and you do not have stupi.d peieple me breathing down your neck that you must continue to live with her. I am going to ignore that statistics |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by bukatyne(f): 11:20am On Nov 03, 2015 |
cococandy: Very very I am yet to find what is amusing in the OP. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 11:21am On Nov 03, 2015 |
Timbuktou: Nigerian men have earned the right of eternal stupidi.ty if they can perfectly agree to inconvenient themselves so as to degrade another human. You are not Godbor gods, you are human and you have no right to treat another like a subhuman. I might consider the eternal diick part if and if you are immune to poisons, heartbreak, torture etc however if I can get back at you for any wrongdoing legally or illegally, it will be great if you are forward-thinking with the way you treat me. Everyone has the monopoly to be an eternal diick:DD Also, the only thing I know that man is responsible for is the bride price and so far that it is going out of practice. The woman's family is the one responsible for the food, entertainment etc. So what is your point? 1 Like |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by coogar: 11:21am On Nov 03, 2015 |
daretodiffer: it's for better for worse..... don't be naive to think the consequences of divorce carries the same weight for both genders in nigeria. one is weightier than the other. besides, no one has expressively said she should continue to put up with a philanderer. all they are saying is she shouldn't put the cart before the horse. how can a wife file for a divorce without even letting her partner know what he has done? what's the logic in that?
i was expecting you to ignore it. after all, the truth hurts |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by bukatyne(f): 11:23am On Nov 03, 2015 |
TV01: Thanks for the response. I was also asking for your opinion of the thread; not OP alone. I know you brand yourself as someone passionate about marriage; I was wondering if the picture painted on this thread is what your vision is about. And @ second bolded, who are they? I guess you are referring to coco's thread A pity that's all you picked out of a fine thread. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Onegai(f): 11:23am On Nov 03, 2015 |
nevanevaland: Pele. I wanted the grief to come out, I knew it was shock and anger and pain that made you open his thread. You know better. You now see how weak he is. But you cannot change him, he has to change and work on himself (he should use his hands to send away the friends that were encouraging his lousy behaviour). He has to earn your trust. He has to wake up every day and earn your love. Because forgetting will not be easy and neither is forgiving. And anyone who tells you to cry to God and instantly God will heal, is expecting a lot from you. Because that is not reality, it takes years for people to truly heal. So don't force it, take as long as you want to be angry and upset. Now, watch him. He has to fix this. HE HAS TO FIX THIS. If he doesn't give a damn about fixing the mistakes he made in jeopardizing his marriage, then he's an arse. If he dares try to turn the tables and make this all your fault, know that is not. Because he had several choices and he chose to cheat and be led astray. Tell him that he was willing to throw away a woman dedicated to his happiness forever and the unconditional love of his wife and child for a few minutes of pleasure that was very cheap (N2000 right? ) and he should decide what is important to him because this is not a mistake that should ever be repeated. And there must be consequences: no more late nights, total honesty and openness, true remorse, better communication and telling you about everything (had you two been good communicators, he would have shared with you that he had hopeless friends encouraging him to cheat). And for you, guard your heart. Focus on loving your son. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by dinachi(m): 11:25am On Nov 03, 2015 |
nevanevaland:Na nairaland be your closest people ba? You claimed you saw funny chat messages but instead of discussing with your former husband to understand clearly,you come to nairaland and start looking for divorce advice and lawyers. Without even been around you guys, I can see that you were never close with him. Was it an arranged marriage? He is not interested in your money means you guys keep financial secrets away from each other. What other hideous secrets are you keeping away from him? |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by bukatyne(f): 11:25am On Nov 03, 2015 |
bellong: Thanks for the response I am sure the OP has picked some points from your post. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by bukatyne(f): 11:29am On Nov 03, 2015 |
Onegai: Thanks a lot Onegai... In addition nevanevaland: There is a book 'His needs... Her needs...' by Willard F. Harley. The author treated how to survive an affair, you can look it up. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 11:31am On Nov 03, 2015 |
coogar: Of couse it shouldn't because it is one gender birthright to behave as he wishes disregarding his vows, God and his partner, and the other gender should merely look the other way. Sounds really logical Well, that part must have been lost on me with all the mockery going on. I have gone through the thread and so far, no one suggested divorce ay first instance. l will be a .... to rely on Nigerian statistics |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Onegai(f): 11:35am On Nov 03, 2015 |
And divorce is not the worst thing that can happen to a marriage. There are so many cheating wives out there, if I were a man, I would be too busy close-marking my wife to cheat. Theirs is worse because the deceit is so clever, you can never catch them. The one that sends out monthly "Happy new month IJN" messages, who told the other man "is it because I just had a baby that you don't want to sleep with me? " She didn't even say "is it because I'm married", her husband was of no importance to her. Yet she's a strong church attender. Or the other who registered her kids for after-school swimming and lessons (that Ikoyi club, the number of affairs going on there eh, Sodom and Gomorrah). Or the lady who confessed to be sleeping with her ex, her husband didn't know she had another SIM card to communicate. A woman divorcing you is a woman tired of you. Infact that's the easier option. Fear the woman who stays with you and says nothing when she knows you're a philandering idiot. Those women told me as a child "property in your name, and there are ways to help a man have a heart attack quicker, because Nigeria is so stressful". 2 Likes |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by Nobody: 11:38am On Nov 03, 2015 |
daretodiffer: My point is, the case of the Nigerian man is a peculiar one . We are special a breed. . Nigerian men arent complaining of bridal requirements, we're only plying the game and I'd say we're proficient at it. If any woman is feeling degraded she may exit her marriage in hopes for more respect, but the fact of the matter is that in a divorce situation outcomes for both sexes are different. it is what it is. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by coogar: 11:49am On Nov 03, 2015 |
daretodiffer: they both deserve each other. nigerian wives deserve nigerian husbands and vice versa. if cheating is such a big deal that would make you commit murder, please stay single.
that is because divorce isn't the first step. the first step is to discuss with the partner. hear out what he has to say to the misdemeanour.
i am also certain you feel like a.......to be nigerian. |
Re: Divorce Lawyers In D House, Pls I Need Some Advice by TV01(m): 11:54am On Nov 03, 2015 |
bukatyne:You are welcome bukatyne:What exactly? The content, the positions, the camps ! I would think opinions would be about the issue, no? bukatyne:This thread is not about marriage, it's about divorce. So no, it's not what my vision is about. bukatyne:Guess away! bukatyne:It may well be fine by your definition, but it wasn't fine by mine. And, at least I said why on the thread. You could have responded to that there. Be careful, passion can bite ! TV |
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