| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Nobody: 6:18pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
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| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by MadCow1: 6:32pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Scented:
Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.
I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.
I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.
Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.
Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.
Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.
I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.
I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.
My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?
My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.
I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"
Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.
Thank you all!
Cc: Seun, lalasticlala, Rocktation, farano, Mymzcoli, agarawu23, firstEVA, Ishilove, INTROVERT, LadyF, Mynd44. Sveen, Naijaboiy, tosyne2much, Twaci, Dygeasy, Naijasinglegirl, buygala, MadCow1, Cutehector, FriedPlantain, safarigirl, MizMyColi, voltron, Tomfrench, englishmart, SUGARBEE, prettythicksme, RomanceLander, emusmith, wristbangle, Ghostlady, Kachisbarbie, EroticAngelina, dechandel, ireneony, freecocoa, MzNelly, elantraceey, Debby16, Creamish, ijebabe, KashBaby, MissyB3, Fynestboi, cococandy, vizkiz, cocoberry, standd, MrCork, Estharfabian, MrsPhyno, FlirtyKaren, Ladyboss1, debbie, whizqueen, Fabulocity, looseweight, IamMissMarvel, EggovinMma, misspicy, PunkyVeer, Lanicky
Note: I copied all the romance section commentators I know who I'm sure would not disappoint me in giving me good advice. Madam, I greet you. I will only say this for now... Marriage is not Nairabet. Permutations can't help you pick the right partner. I will elaborate in a second. 3 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by MadCow1: 6:36pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
3 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by vascey(m): 6:41pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
A guy that "no do no do" has brought his mum to come and talk to you?! Hmmmm!!!
I'm not saying he's bad but be rest assured you will have to keep dealing with that woman.
Of course, in the long run that may be a better option if number one takes off.
It's a complicated situation most girls face. Typically, I would advice sticking with guy number one since I feel tailor made is better than ready made.
However, in the pursuit for happiness, anything can happen. My question for u is that if I tell u that if u choose either of them, it's going to turn out bad, which would be your higher regret - not going with number one or not going with number two?
Regrets kill. Notwithstanding what the future may bring (cos it's not entirely in your hands), go with your heart. That's what you won't love to regret. 2 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Nobody: 6:57pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
MadCow1:
I will change one part of your post and say the most important thing in marriage is friendship. Love can only take you so far. So! friendship isn't built on "LoVE"? |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Nobody: 7:25pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
obiorathesubtle:
[s]Wait for Daniel!
Wait for Daniel!
Wait for Daniel!
I'm usually very crazy, but I typed "wait for Daniel" because I just saw a prophesy about you.
Wait for Daniel![/s]
So you want to carry that hole that Daniel has drilled countless times and gan give innocent Joe because he has money abi? All the moral investments wey Daniel invest for ya head wey you dy brag about. You wan carry everything go give Joe because he get money?
Do you think Daniel won't marry you if he had the money?
How is this confusing to you sef?
Because your sisters married before 27? Oya Robot! Follow the queue and marry naw!
Mtcheeeeew! Ode!
If you like don't marry Daniel, later you'll come and open another thread "I'm still in love with my ex" or "I made a mistake in Marriage" or "I married a man I don't love, please help me" and by that time. Nobody will help you because when they were talking to you, you and that your coconut head refused to listen. Smh! Women! As sensible and straight forward as your response is , I think she has doubts about Daniel getting married to her ( I guess she has noticed something about Daniel and the relationship as a whole ) |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by trustroad(m): 7:27pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Your matter is simple. If you don't have feelings for guy number 2, then don't marry him. It's bad for a woman to be married to one man, yet her heart is with another. It's just too bad. 1 Like |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by obiorathesubtle: 7:35pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
neoapocalypse:
As sensible and straight forward as your response is , I think she has doubts about Daniel getting married to her ( I guess she has noticed something about Daniel and the relationship as a whole ) and just like every girl would do.. She didn't mention what she noticed. She only gave positives. |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by enny4real23(m): 7:40pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
the first guy is ambitious and intelligent, he'll go places, be patient. its not about the age you get married but it is if the marriage will last. Trust me, you might end up marrying the second guy then later discover
you don't love him, its not fair to both of you, you might find yourself stuck in a loveless marriage. Also, 3 months is not enough to really get to know anybody, you might discover an habit or somethings about him that you don't like. pls be patient,
good things come to those who wait. 1 Like |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by martinlooter(m): 7:53pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Since you didn't mention me, no need to comment na, because you don't believe I too can offer you a mature advice. 1 Like |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Nobody: 7:56pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
I don't see what the "dilemma" is here. You have no romantic feelings for Joe. There you go! Problem solved. |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Levelzguy(m): 8:39pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
one fin u failed to mention is dia bad sides..are both of them so good that u cant seem to find faults with any of them...its not as complicated as you paint it to be anyways..just require your first boyfriend you claim to love so much to make the necessary moves and take the right steps towards making you his wife if he is really serious..you can do a little introduction..both families should come together and that should give you some semblance of assurance..marriage can wait till you guys are both financially bouyant.if he insists on that 2yrs my dear you are on a long thing.that guy seems like the ambitious type and is probably waiting for another girl that would help him achieve his lofty ambitions,when you realize madam e go clear for your eyes.step up ur game and require him to do the right thing now..if he insists he isnt ready,let him know he has competition and if he still doesnt bulge then i guess thats your cue. Jahbless! 2 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by jashar(f): 8:40pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
ermmm sister... I'll say this with a pinch of salt.
If you follow Joe, get ready to have his mother involved with your marriage.
Like seriously, why would a guy tell his mother to come and meet a girl that is not even his girlfriend and the mom went?
It's odd to me ooo....
Btw... please stop sleeping with someone who ain't your husband. it's harder to make clear and firm decisions when you've crossed that line.
If you're yet to receive the life of Christ, I suggest you do. God loves you.
Shalom 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by misspicy(f): 9:06pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
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| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by ManTiger(m): 9:11pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Scented:
Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.
I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.
I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.
Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.
Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.
Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.
I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.
I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.
My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?
My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.
I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"
Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.
Thank you all!
Cc: Seun, lalasticlala, Rocktation, farano, Mymzcoli, agarawu23, firstEVA, Ishilove, INTROVERT, LadyF, Mynd44. Sveen, Naijaboiy, tosyne2much, Twaci, Dygeasy, Naijasinglegirl, buygala, MadCow1, Cutehector, FriedPlantain, safarigirl, MizMyColi, voltron, Tomfrench, englishmart, SUGARBEE, prettythicksme, RomanceLander, emusmith, wristbangle, Ghostlady, Kachisbarbie, EroticAngelina, dechandel, ireneony, freecocoa, MzNelly, elantraceey, Debby16, Creamish, ijebabe, KashBaby, MissyB3, Fynestboi, cococandy, vizkiz, cocoberry, standd, MrCork, Estharfabian, MrsPhyno, FlirtyKaren, Ladyboss1, debbie, whizqueen, Fabulocity, looseweight, IamMissMarvel, EggovinMma, misspicy, PunkyVeer, Lanicky
Note: I copied all the romance section commentators I know who I'm sure would not disappoint me in giving me good advice. @Bolded: why don't you reference me? I'll comment accordingly when you mention me but meanwhile, i'll tell you not to trust a playboy, Daniel is a playboy. You'll be more happier with Joe and trust me, she'll make you the boss, you'll hardly have problem with his fams. Thank me later. |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by jackpot(f): 9:19pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
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| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by fidek(m): 9:25pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
For you to know that someone truely loves you, you should feel it not hear them say it.
Thats all 1 Like |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Ishilove: 9:33pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Scented:
Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.
I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.
I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.
Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.
Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.
Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.
I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.
I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.
My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?
My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.
I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"
Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.
Thank you all!. Sister, OYO  On a more serious note, what do you want? Good sex or stability? Ask yourself this question, will Joe remain a gentleman a year from now? Will Daniel remain the loving man he is now? What happens if after two years he still can't achieve his dreams enough to settle down? And Joe, if you marry him but no matter how hard you try, you are not able to love him? Won't it be unfair to him? I will not advice you on who to marry because at the end of the day, you and you alone will bear the consequences and ramifications of whatever choice you make. We will not be there to enjoy or grumble with you. What I will advice is this: take it to God in prayer. He is infallible and the master planner . Let him choose for you. 3 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Frankdamaxx(m): 9:34pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
End Time Joe.
Anyways, on a serious note. Money and "my sisters got married before 27" is what is tilting you towards Joe.
What if Joe was on the same level with Daniel financially what will you do? Would you have considered?
Do you want to have a friend and companion in marriage or just be a wife?
Is marrying early more important to you than marrying happily?
Answer these truthfully and make your choice.
Voila.
Let me call Seun to explain more. 2 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Seun(m): 9:35pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Explain to Daniel that marriage is only as expensive as you want it to be. You don't have to have kids and start spending lots of money immediately. Daniel can marry you now, and practice family planning until he turns 31 and you're financially ready to start having kids. I don't believe in waiting for marriage. It's not fair to women. If you're sure about the person you want to marry, there's no good reason to delay it. 15 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by hayorzzyzx(m): 9:56pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Scented:
Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.
I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.
I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.
Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.
Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.
Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.
I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.
I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.
My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?
My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.
I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"
Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.
Thank you all!
Cc: Seun, lalasticlala, Rocktation, farano, Mymzcoli, agarawu23, firstEVA, Ishilove, INTROVERT, LadyF, Mynd44. Sveen, Naijaboiy, tosyne2much, Twaci, Dygeasy, Naijasinglegirl, buygala, MadCow1, Cutehector, FriedPlantain, safarigirl, MizMyColi, voltron, Tomfrench, englishmart, SUGARBEE, prettythicksme, RomanceLander, emusmith, wristbangle, Ghostlady, Kachisbarbie, EroticAngelina, dechandel, ireneony, freecocoa, MzNelly, elantraceey, Debby16, Creamish, ijebabe, KashBaby, MissyB3, Fynestboi, cococandy, vizkiz, cocoberry, standd, MrCork, Estharfabian, MrsPhyno, FlirtyKaren, Ladyboss1, debbie, whizqueen, Fabulocity, looseweight, IamMissMarvel, EggovinMma, misspicy, PunkyVeer, Lanicky
Note: I copied all the romance section commentators I know who I'm sure would not disappoint me in giving me good advice. My Best Advice,Pray to God/Allah (anyone you believe in) and he will lead you. Thank me Later  |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Acidosis(m): 10:03pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
If you leave Daniel for the new guy, you might enjoy the new guy and your marriage, but chances are that you'd cheat on your new guy. You won't stop calling Daniel, and trust me, your new husband whom you don't know his past or character won't take it easy with you when you're caught.
That's how my brother's exes walked away to marry some new guys offering marriage. My bro and one of the girls dated for about 4 years before she walled away. Today, despite being married to a new guy, she won't stop calling my bro. In fact, she has promised to come pay my bro (her ex) some visits alone.
The other girl also won't stop calling. A married woman calling her ex to know whether he's dating someone now. A times she calls to ask whether my bro has eaten, lol.
I'm still waiting for the day I'll meet them both to talk sense into their heads.
My advice is this: marry the one you love.
Marriage is a life long issue. 2 years may seem too looong to wait for Daniel, but can you also endure 30 years of a loveless marriage, filled with the unknown?
Do not make any decision hurriedly, think about it, and possibly add serious prayers. You may end up marrying someone different. 2 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Nobody: 10:04pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
What about the third guy?Ther's always a third guy. 6 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by TheFatOne(f): 10:07pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Scented:
Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.
I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.
I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.
Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.
Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.
Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.
I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.
I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.
My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?
My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.
I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"
Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.
Thank you all!
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Note: I copied all the romance section commentators I know who I'm sure would not disappoint me in giving me good advice. There's no reason why the so called Daniel shouldn't have married you at this point.... He doesn't know your age or what? Again things have a way of turning around after the Rings have been exchanged so don't think that a 5 year old cinderalla relationship means "happily ever after" in marriage.. Sister biko either the Daniel brings the marriage plan closer or you give the Joe a try.... Get closer and try to know him... You don old for that r/ship o 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by kay9(m): 10:15pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Kingsasian:
I don't have much to say other than "the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know". For the first guy to tell you his plans and to tell you a specific time when he will be ready to settle down with shows how serious he is to you and as for the second guy, you don't know him. The fact that he brought his mom to talk to you shows how desperate he/they are. Three months is too short a time to know and understand each other. Don't be too desperate just because age is no longer on your side, don't rush yourself into marital problems. Marry the one you love, that loves you in return and understands you more and whom you understand as well. Finally pray about it and seek for elderly advise. Babe, listen to this guy. |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by kay9(m): 10:23pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Frankdamaxx:
End Time Joe.
Anyways, on a serious note. Money and "my sisters got married before 27" is what is tilting you towards Joe.
What if Joe was on the same level with Daniel financially what will you do? Would you have considered?
Do you want to have a friend and companion in marriage or just be a wife?
Is marrying early more important to you than marrying happily?
Answer these truthfully and make your choice.
Voila.
I believe the bolded simplifies everything. |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by Acidosis(m): 10:28pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
The origin of your problem started the day you began the journey of SEX with Daniel.
You can imagine the way you described your sexual experience with that dude.
I just pity whoever is going to marry you, cos you would certainly cheat on him.
Your next guy may not satisfy. I'd advise you just marry the guy you already know. 3 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by ivyy(f): 10:34pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Stick with your boyfriend. Who offers marriage without considering love and compatibility? N using his mum at such an early stage? Desperation is what it is. Once he gets married to you and gives you a dose of his true colour, who's gona save you? 2 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by soopamom: 10:50pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
Scented a very wise person said "A bird in hand is worth two in the Bush". Do the needful. |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by JeffreyJamez(m): 11:12pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
A "man" brings his mom to help him woo a lady?.....BIG RED FLAG!! |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by SIRTee15: 11:22pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
mi lady
love with ur brain, not emotions.
if daniel is truly serious about u, he will do something real to keep both of u together permanently.
forget all those tales about ambitions and not yet ready for marriage.
if he meets adenuga daughter today, wedding bells will ring tmrw.
he's simply not into u the way u are into him.
thus the reason for foot dragging.
let no one deceive u, at 27 u need to start thinking about seriously about ur future.
and this is not the time for u to be in a relationship because of hot-blowing sex.
u should be seen with a man who's focused, has shown desire to settle down and has u in his plans.
he should also be ready to introduce u to his relatives and vice-versa.
for a 27 yr old lady in naija, 2 yrs is too long waiting for one man who has not taken any step at all to formalize the relationship.
it is very risky.
u need to sit daniel down and explain things to him.
he has to take a bold step NOW.
not necessarily marriage, but a kind of informal introduction with a defined agreement of how things will progress.
if he truly loves u, he will reconsider his stance.
N.B- u will notice I said nothing about joe.
since u don't love him, there is nothing to talk about. 4 Likes |
| Re: Have You Ever Seen A Girl In A More Complex Dilemma Than I? by ladyF(f): 11:33pm On Dec 03, 2015 |
I'm very interested in your real moniker.  Are you sure that is his real mother? People can hire family members u know? 1 Like |
I Can't see myself ever sharing the same bed with someone I have no feelings for! fück the Clichè "Love grows with time!"
babash!
...think of what he'll do When y'all get married...He loves U, doesn't he?
then, what's the issue?