PunkyVeer:
I don't see what the "dilemma" is here. You have no romantic feelings for Joe. There you go! Problem solved.

easier said than done....and then tomorrow Daniel sees a reason not marry her, what next??

I am gonna give my own piece, like I would if faced with the same situation! . Life itself is a risk!more than once in our lives we are compelled to take risks.

Both situations are Risky, BUT without much ado, ill stick to DANIEL (ill let him know about JOE's Chase, just so he knows). Il choose Daniel cos I believe in Love, I believe in making things work, I usually havnt taken an easy handout before. Joe seems an easy Handout, You weren't there during his struggle. Your ignorant of his past. I can't stand a man I don't love as a lover let alone life partner.

The risk that comes wit Daniel I that he may not keep to that Promise at the end of 2years , whatt if things don't work as planned? (Godforbid), either by his making or not? Now since you are not me keep that in mind but if you are to take my advice, if Daniel is not the One, along the line of wait!!! the one would show up! Somehow somehow.

This is about one of the best posts on this! It echoed my thoughts! Any serious guy should commit to marriage no matter how little He has! Daniel is not serious- fact!! Probably does not love you!

Seun:
Explain to Daniel that marriage is only as expensive as you want it to be. You don't have to have kids and start spending lots of money immediately. Daniel can marry you now, and practice family planning until he turns 31 and you're financially ready to start having kids. I don't believe in waiting for marriage. It's not good for women. If you're sure about the person you want to marry, there's no good reason to delay it.

Naija gals & their shallow "love". Do dan & yourself a favour,marry that rich boy cos 2 yrs from now Dan may still be struggling with his average earnings. If u love him allow him find someone who's ready to watch him grow. Theres a fat difference b/w already made & getting made

All this Joe characteristics you mention just under one month you know him.
I hope you are aware that yahoo boys are the most romantic guys until they defraud their victims.
A month is too short to know Joe even the three months courtship is too short.
Joe seems like a mummy's boy so know you will be getting married to the mom too cus she seems to have control over him, who goes toasting babe for their sons?
Joe may not be as half good as Daniel in everything except finance and once you discover it in marriage, you will be in Joe's house but your heart is with Daniel which may led to cheating.
Tell Joe to give you time so you can study him and evaluate between the two of them before making your decision.

@Op sometimes 2yrs can be 2 months,it takes less than a day for a man's life to change.what will u do if few months after marrying Joe,Daniel become a millionaire? Ur guy said it will take him 2yrs,he is only a human not God,God can surprise him in 2 weeks..Btw he might be testing ur patience too..my advice Follow ur heart not ur brain cos the brain is selfish. #Isgrafiti

Why don't you consult orunmila. He knows more than Google and Nairaland. Try it, you will thank me later.

@scented......i know what u are going through..... This is a very tough decision to make..... But I will advise u to stick with Daniel cos of just one reason...... If u marry Joe, u might end up wishing u waited for Daniel..... And nothing makes life more miserable than regretting who u married...... Joe might end up to be loving, caring etc if u marry him, but that doesn't mean u would love him back or be happy.......

Not sure if Daniel is crazy about you.... If he is he wouldn't be giving u the time he would marry u... he would be scared to lose u..... He is handsome and intelligent and tall, most girls like that kind of shii in a man..... Even if he no chase them, they would chase him...... If he makes money them fit snatch am from u, using all means......

Joe is desperate just like you...... His parents are accommodating..... Seems like a good catch.... If u can tell why he is desperate

Do whatever makes you happy that u won't regret..... But both of them are not sure just so we are clear

Levelzguy:
one fin u failed to mention is dia bad sides..are both of them so good that u cant seem to find faults with any of them...its not as complicated as you paint it to be anyways..just require your first boyfriend you claim to love so much to make the necessary moves and take the right steps towards making you his wife if he is really serious..you can do a little introduction..both families should come together and that should give you some semblance of assurance..marriage can wait till you guys are both financially bouyant.if he insists on that 2yrs my dear you are on a long thing.that guy seems like the ambitious type and is probably waiting for another girl that would help him achieve his lofty ambitions,when you realize madam e go clear for your eyes.step up ur game and require him to do the right thing now..if he insists he isnt ready,let him know he has competition and if he still doesnt bulge then i guess thats your cue. Jahbless!

this is one of the few sensible comments I've read here....if ur so called Daniel loves you....den he should go and do introduction very fast...he don't need millions for him to go and meet ur pple....u shouldn't be the one sacrificing ur time for him....it's not as if he's not even working dat'll would have been diff...but he is working and earning little income...so wat is he waiting for? ......but just because u're inlove with ur b.f doesn't mean u shouldn't reason with ur brain....Go and talk to ur b.f and tell him to come see ur people if he's really serious about you....u guys can still achieve ur dreams wen married.....most guys are very deceitful...forget all dis butterfly feelings u're having now and reason with ur brain.....gals dat got heartbroken also felt dis way too... Anyway just ask God to give u wisdom in choosing ur life partner,.,,..

Girl,

Don't let anyone force you to get married at 27 if you are not ready. You don't have your mind made up yet so marriage should be far from your thoughts now.

You don't want to get into a lifetime commitment wit someone who's likely to cause u misery simply because u Dint do the proper thing by getting to know the person properly.

Forget about the fact that Daniel wants to wait for 2years. He might change his mind before then or even wed after then...everything depends on history/time. Don't let the "2years" or "I must marry at 27" be a deciding factor cos once ur married, reality sets in. Its not all rosy. You should try to marry a friend, someone your sure will bring out the best in you. If You don't want to experience depression, allow time help you decide.

Pray and fast. You can never go wrong wit God. Allow your guts/ instincts help u decide. When u sense some doubts in any of the suitors, don't dismiss it in a hurry based on the time factor, age factor, physical attraction, financial status etc. Explore your doubt and be sure u are convinced that u can deal wit it before u move forward wit him.

At the end of the day, it may not be Joe or Daniel... Might be Alex or Kevin . Just give urself the time to make the right choice.

Scented, hi dear.

How are you doing?

Okay, lemme go straight to the point...

Ask Daniel to show you his family, engage you or something... Show you his level of seriousness.
You're 27... Don't let anyone tell you otherwise... Your biological clock is ticking, yes, I said it.

So if Daniel is telling you he has a 2-year plan, tell him you have a 3-month plan.
If he really loves you, you guys will work out some sort of compromise.

But don't go and marry Joe as a consolation prize o
Find who you love and settle down with him/her

You'll be fine

ivyy:
Stick with your boyfriend. Who offers marriage without considering love and compatibility? N using his mum at such an early stage? Desperation is what it is. Once he gets married to you and gives you a dose of his true colour, who's gona save you?

dis bae fine shaa

Hi scented,
Firstly be rest assured that your situation isn't the worst out there, someone somewhere is in a tougher situation than you.

Are you a believer? If you are, Kindly seek the face of God on this issue. I'm convinced you'd get the best of answer from Him.

On a more realistic note:

Daniel:
Sweet, loving, charming guy you'd love to be with but he's not yet ready. Now look dear, Daniel is only "hoping"to be ready in two years time if his finances gets better as planned. Man proposes God disposes. What if he's unable to get to where he hopes to be in 2 years? He'd beg you to wait for another 1 year, by this time you'd be forced to stay. And you'll be 30 years. not nice!
Let's assume things turn out as planned and Daniel 's financial situation got better, haven't you heard of men that leaves the woman that was with them all through the dark moments of their lives? Daniel is a very cool guy and you both are in love. But will this "love" keep your relationship firm till 2 years time? Are you rest assured that Dan won't find one stupiid fault or the other in you when he's suppose to marry?
If Daniel really wants you, he can show his commitment by getting you engaged, doing introduction to his family and the two families meeting eachother. if he does this "to an extent" you can be assured that you guys would end up together. If he doesn't my dear bounce off. Even after introduction some relationships still break off o. My dear you ain't getting any younger. unless you don't have plans to make babes, child bearing after the age of 30 is very very hard for a lady. After 2 years Dan will be 31 he can still find a young Charming girl to marry. You'd be 29 oh, you can't marry yourself, you'd wait for a man to ask for your hand in marriage.


Joe:
Out of the blues guy, niqqa is so desperate that he gotta involve his mom. Yourself you're desperate as well, pressure is already on you. Tell the niqqa to give you time to think and pray about it. Take as much as you want. If one month will give you the best answer please take the whole month to think. when you finally decide, tell Joe you'd need a minimum of 6 months to know more about him. Scented, I hope you know dating a guy for 5 years doesn't mean you know him completely? It's only when you start living together you'd see some other hidden sides of a man. Within the 6 months courtship my sister shine your eyes, don't endure! Look into his family, find out if they only faked their real persona. check well oo. Marriage no be joke oo. It's forever so choose what you're comfortable with.


A distant relative of mine was in this dilemma some decades ago. She waited for the former which happened to travel out and never came back to marry. She's In her late 40's now regretting. With all the wealth not even a child to show forth. Kindly consider child bearing aside from getting a man in your early 30's.

I wish you all the best, I ain't married so my advice may not be the best you can get. Just my humble opinion. may God direct you ijn. Amen

Scented:
Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.

I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.

I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.

Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.

Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.

Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.

I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.

I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.

My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?

My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.

I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"

Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.

Thank you all!

Cc: Seun, lalasticlala, Rocktation, farano, Mymzcoli, agarawu23, firstEVA, Ishilove, INTROVERT, LadyF, Mynd44. Sveen, Naijaboiy, tosyne2much, Twaci, Dygeasy, Naijasinglegirl, buygala, MadCow1, Cutehector, FriedPlantain, safarigirl, MizMyColi, voltron, Tomfrench, englishmart, SUGARBEE, prettythicksme, RomanceLander, emusmith, wristbangle, Ghostlady, Kachisbarbie, EroticAngelina, dechandel, ireneony, freecocoa, MzNelly, elantraceey, Debby16, Creamish, ijebabe, KashBaby, MissyB3, Fynestboi, cococandy, vizkiz, cocoberry, standd, MrCork, Estharfabian, MrsPhyno, FlirtyKaren, Ladyboss1, debbie, whizqueen, Fabulocity, looseweight, IamMissMarvel, EggovinMma, misspicy, PunkyVeer, Lanicky

Note: I copied all the romance section commentators I know who I'm sure would not disappoint me in giving me good advice.

I don't get. Is it like your confused? Because it is so clear to me that the person you love is Daniel. Why would you even consider Joe' who you haven't know as much as Daniel? Because Joe seems to want to get married to you within a form of present period, should never be a reason to get married to him. Honestly, I see nothing else but true love when I read your words about Daniel and you. I'm sorry that your relatives and your parents are pestering you, but it should never make you do what you don't want to do. It is your life and not theirs. You will live it and they will not live it for you. Love has nothing to do with time, or must be perfect, or all the money in the world. It has to do with believing that GOD is always in control and will keep you and your spouse as long as you remain faithful to GOD, there exists trust, your both faithful and sincere to each other and it has to do with staying together no matter the situation of things. You and Daniel are like a couple that can grow to become Incredible and beautiful together! This should never be a complicated situation for you. You just need to talk to Daniel and explain what's going on in your family, and see how to of you can make this work. Joe's mother giving you an assurance does not make things better in anyway, because, the person you truly love is Daniel and that's who you should be with. I saw something you wrote about wether he'll still love you in 2years from now, why would you think that way? Don't you stay within the same area? And don't you see him often? Don't you know him well? I'll say, from what you've written about Daniel, as long as you love him and he loves you and you both have a plan to be together and get married, then you should not worry about anything elsewhere. Most importantly, pray to GOD about it and I believe everything will be ok in Jesus name! Amen.

Who is John in the matter?

The way you described this your Daniel is not here at all, seems to me like you are the one doing most of the loving there. I hope you don't lose yourself in that relationship sha, as for your dilemma with him, well he's told you his plans, it's left for you to figure out what you want for yourself, just bear in mind that anything can happen, he can either marry you or not, try to paint a picture of what will happen if he doesn't while you are hoping that he does, if you are a person who has her emotions in check, you'll know what to do, btw, you don't need to be super rich to get married, so talk to Daniel about it.

As for Joe, you don't love the guy, why even consider marrying him?

I for one believe that to build something with someone, you need a spark to start it off and if you didn't have that spark with this Joe, what you'll have with him, will never really be the kind of thing a girl like you wants or even needs.

Tpave:
Give the second guy a chance. No time, but try to study him very well.

By taking him to bed.

Girls no dey play with sex. Hmm

You are in LUST with Daniel.

Many peoole find it hard separating DATING from MARRIAGE.

Daniel is your BOYFRIEND, Joe is your HUSBAND.

If you think you are now OLD enough to marry, then its time you QUIT Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Ladies and confusion

Scented:
Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.

I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.

I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.

Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.

Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.

Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.

I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.

I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.

My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?

My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.

I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"

Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.

Thank you all!

Cc: Seun, lalasticlala, Rocktation, farano, Mymzcoli, agarawu23, firstEVA, Ishilove, INTROVERT, LadyF, Mynd44. Sveen, Naijaboiy, tosyne2much, Twaci, Dygeasy, Naijasinglegirl, buygala, MadCow1, Cutehector, FriedPlantain, safarigirl, MizMyColi, voltron, Tomfrench, englishmart, SUGARBEE, prettythicksme, RomanceLander, emusmith, wristbangle, Ghostlady, Kachisbarbie, EroticAngelina, dechandel, ireneony, freecocoa, MzNelly, elantraceey, Debby16, Creamish, ijebabe, KashBaby, MissyB3, Fynestboi, cococandy, vizkiz, cocoberry, standd, MrCork, Estharfabian, MrsPhyno, FlirtyKaren, Ladyboss1, debbie, whizqueen, Fabulocity, looseweight, IamMissMarvel, EggovinMma, misspicy, PunkyVeer, Lanicky

Note: I copied all the romance section commentators I know who I'm sure would not disappoint me in giving me good advice.

Hi dear.

It's very obvious you're head over heels in love with Daniel. I'm sure you've been in the relationship for some years now so, why can't you exercise more patience or have you noticed a change In his attitude towards you?

Sometimes, You need to take a risk for love' sake.


you're already doubting Daniel's love for you all because of Joe. Hmmm.
Sweet, don't you think Joe is a mummy's boy OR why do you think he brought his mum to you?
If you eventually get married to him, Dude go always cry to his mum whenever you have a little fight or not too serious issues in your relationship.

To me, Joe is kinda desperate to get married..don't you think?


If you want to be so sure about what to do, like the surest solution to your problem,
Seek advice from your pastor and make sure you pray about the both of them.

Don't seek your friends advice pls, you may be misled.

Do have a nice day Scented

@Scented,


I don't see why you and Daniel cannot have a small traditional marriage. Marriage does not mean more responsibilities. You are workinga nd hr ia working. Perosnally, I think you both should be able to save more money because of your shared expenses. You could go for family planning until the time both of you are ready to start taking up responsibilities.

Personally, I think you should try and compel him to change his mind. Let him know your fears (the possibility that he might jilt) and explain to him why you need to have a secured relationship with him. When the time comes, you can both have a fanfare wedding.

Love is rubbish without money...

Ok

Estharfabian:
Between two rocks! damn!

Uh....Let's see...I think when it comes to a big thing as "Marriage"...Love Should Always come first.. I've always believed in the Phrase "Love Who U marry"... I Can't see myself ever sharing the same bed with someone I have no feelings for! fück the Clichè "Love grows with time!" babash!

This Joe guy...He Seems pretty Amazing..He's financially equipped and all..The average Nigerian girl would say go for him..Buh really, U don't like this guy..U know nothing bout him..You'd be miserable! [size=18pt]what if he sucks in bed? Oh no![/size]

The only factor Here is Your "Age"..which shouldn't even be an issue...Your sisters married before 27, so what? It's not A competition!
I Think U should stick with the Love of your life "Daniel"..he seems like a good guy and hell! he's also good in bed.....think of what he'll do When y'all get married...He loves U, doesn't he? then, what's the issue?

Everything shouldn't revolve around [size=20pt]Money[/size]...Work Your butts off too.!Y'all could work things out together... The Cinderella way!

PS----If things don't work out with Daniel...You could always find another "Joe"..Eazypizzy! Don't bother yourself bout Your age..My great grandma married at 60..You're still very much young!

Whatever makes U happy bae...Just do You!

ur great grandma?...
sister...why??..no,tell me..why..just why

Scented:
Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.

I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.

I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.

Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.

Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.

Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.

I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.

I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.

My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?

My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.

I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"

Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.

Thank you all!

Cc: Seun, lalasticlala, Rocktation, farano, Mymzcoli, agarawu23, firstEVA, Ishilove, INTROVERT, LadyF, Mynd44. Sveen, Naijaboiy, tosyne2much, Twaci, Dygeasy, Naijasinglegirl, buygala, MadCow1, Cutehector, FriedPlantain, safarigirl, MizMyColi, voltron, Tomfrench, englishmart, SUGARBEE, prettythicksme, RomanceLander, emusmith, wristbangle, Ghostlady, Kachisbarbie, EroticAngelina, dechandel, ireneony, freecocoa, MzNelly, elantraceey, Debby16, Creamish, ijebabe, KashBaby, MissyB3, Fynestboi, cococandy, vizkiz, cocoberry, standd, MrCork, Estharfabian, MrsPhyno, FlirtyKaren, Ladyboss1, debbie, whizqueen, Fabulocity, looseweight, IamMissMarvel, EggovinMma, misspicy, PunkyVeer, Lanicky

Note: I copied all the romance section commentators I know who I'm sure would not disappoint me in giving me good advice.

Ok, since you 've vouched for the ones you called and bestows your confidence on them, let me kuku wait for them maybe i might learn one or two things from them too.

Babe,

Its natural at this time to have numerous suitors..but I'll advise u stay where ur heart is. If its with Daniel, stick with him.

Marriage is not a task to be completed at a particular age. If u marry Joe, would u regret not waiting for Daniel in 2 years? Marry only He who leaves ur heart without a doubt because u need a soulmate not a timemate.

Avoid decisons made out of desperation. They are hardly ever thought through.

Cheers!

Scented:
Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.

I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.

I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.

Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.

Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.

Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.

I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.

I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.

My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?

My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.

I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"

Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.

Thank you all!

Cc: Seun, lalasticlala, Rocktation, farano, Mymzcoli, agarawu23, firstEVA, Ishilove, INTROVERT, LadyF, Mynd44. Sveen, Naijaboiy, tosyne2much, Twaci, Dygeasy, Naijasinglegirl, buygala, MadCow1, Cutehector, FriedPlantain, safarigirl, MizMyColi, voltron, Tomfrench, englishmart, SUGARBEE, prettythicksme, RomanceLander, emusmith, wristbangle, Ghostlady, Kachisbarbie, EroticAngelina, dechandel, ireneony, freecocoa, MzNelly, elantraceey, Debby16, Creamish, ijebabe, KashBaby, MissyB3, Fynestboi, cococandy, vizkiz, cocoberry, standd, MrCork, Estharfabian, MrsPhyno, FlirtyKaren, Ladyboss1, debbie, whizqueen, Fabulocity, looseweight, IamMissMarvel, EggovinMma, misspicy, PunkyVeer, Lanicky

Note: I copied all the romance section commentators I know who I'm sure would not disappoint me in giving me good advice.

I had a friend like you, she narrated how she turned down a marriage request, she wanted to wait for her then lover to get ready, she was 28.
Today, she's 36 years old.

I don't have much to say, you aren't a kid anymore. And I believe him telling you he has two years more is your cue.
It it's better you regret leaving than to regret waiting. Cuz at 29....
I Reserve my comments

[quote author=Scented post=40651361]Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.

I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.

My advice: Daniel should be the road not taken.
You will be shocked how quick you will forget him and love this new guy.
I wouldn't look back If I were you.
Maybe do small shakara.
But no way I am not getting married immediately to this guy.
Love will learn how to wait.

quote]

Scented! Its 2 years now.. What was your decision and how are you guys faring now?

Scented:

Your narration of the facts are quite impressive with minimal grammatical errors

Let's weigh the risks :- Assuming your present relationship packs up within the next 2 years...who stands to loose the most? You will be the biggest loser.

Two years is a long time in a lady's life

My advise: - Go for the new guy except you have incontrovertible proof that Daniel will not disappoint you.

Kayoski:
something about life is that you just have to take risks..
your present bf is the kind most Ladies only dream they have (except the financial aspect)

you also said he has great prospect..I will advice you stick to this girl since you have known him over time... unlike the supposed angel that you vaguely know..

Bringing his home to come convince you is something I ain't comfortable with...

in summary the devil you already know is better than the angel who not really know...

hello op, within few days, it will be 2years you made this post. what was the decision you took?? is daniel ready now?? did you leave Daniel and accepted joe?? what happened?? please tell us

OurworkComNg1:


hello op, within few days, it will be 2years you made this post. what was the decision you took?? is daniel ready now?? did you leave Daniel and accepted joe?? what happened?? please tell us

You're quoting the wrong person, I ain't the op

jackpot:
What if Daniel later disappoints you?

What if Joe turns out to be a monster??,life is about taking risks,there are no guarantees,either of her choices may turn out good or bad,Daniel has been a great partner with vision according to her,she bately knows joe,marraige is no joke,she should look deep within and pray about it.I would go with Daniel though.