They say love is blind but marriage opens it up. I don't want to have a failed marriage later in life as this my girlfriend cum fiancee is really bringing out the beast in me and I think it's time we called it quits.
I don't want it to seem like I'm over reacting to some things that's why I'm bringing it here for advice because I'm really starting to loose it.

1. When we first started dating, she was pretty cool headed (or maybe she was pretending), and more shapely than she is now. Now she eats every thing she lays her eyes on, she's developed too much belly fat and even looks older than her age. A little caution from me to her and she goes on the defensive. She maybe derives pleasure in making me angry and I've got a temper I try to control. Nothing is too weighty for her so say. At times when we have a disagreement, she makes annoying references to my mother and she wants to be a daughter in law to this same person?

2. She expects me to do everything in the house for her from arranging the house to cooking to and expects me to do it with joy. Yes I can cook, and I don't mind assisting her in the kitchen, but it becomes annoying when she always wants me to cook when she's around and doing nothing. Is this what I'm going to face when we finally get married?? Leaving like a bachelor in my fuk!n marital home? Worse is she never fails to mention she's not my house wife...so maybe when we get married, she would say she's not my slave.

3. Hygiene, and in terms of neatness, she turns me d fuc.k down. Dropping her Bleep!n stained pads all over my house during her period or in my waste bin . Now as a medical practitioner, those things hardly irritate me but what should be done ought to be done and rightly too. I've tried talking to her but there are things a guy doesn't need to tell you if you are a mature lady. If she can't handle herself during her period, what would she teach our daughters when they get to that age? At times during sex, the smell is a turn off but I'm so careful not to hurt her feelings that I don't even tell her.

4. She tends to nag a lot until things go her way. That is my greatest turn off ; she knows it, yet she does it during these sessions she at times goes physical and expects me to lump it. There are times I get so mad I just go out so as not to loose it. I'm strictly against beating women but she's really leading me down that path and I think it doesn't need to degenerate to that extent before we go our separate ways.

These are just some of the things she does and most times when I imagine life with her due to all these her attitude, I get scared.
Or could the fault be with me? Could it be I'm expecting too much from her? Could it be my standards are too high and need to reduce?
Please advise me cos I'm seriously at a loss on what to do again with her and I'm writing with anger shaking every part of my body. I love her but that's not enough for me to condone every thing she does.

I will comment later

BREAK UP

I will comment later

One chance love

her own problem plenty o

Love is never enough..

If one is not careful, you will just enter hell fire for judging and advising people on this forum. Let me hear her own side before saying my opinion.

Love is not enough in marriage

@ #3

I feel you already know what to do. If things aren't good now, marriage won't make them better, only magnify the already existing problems because you'll be in each other's faces/space 365

Most of the things you listed here are not to be overlooked. they are really appaling.
Its not too much to ask for Cleanliness, keeping fit , peace of mind, good food and respect from your woman.

Sit her down,talk to her,you can also get a good friend of hers to talk to her.
If she persists a refuse to change, you bounce. Marriage should be enjoyed and not managed nor tolerated.

But why will a woman negelect personal hygiene?

Only one girl get all these wahala?

My main chick doesn't allow me gonk her pvssy anytym I want, and am considering dumping her.
Not to talk of one girl having all the wahala's the OP listed. I will pay LAWMA to dump her for me.

stupidity:
Only one girl get all these wahala?

My main chick doesn't allow me gonk her pvssy anytym I want, and am considering dumping her.
Not to talk of one girl having all the wahala's the OP listed. I will pay LAWMA to dump her for me.

Lol

To call u stup*d is an offense

stupidity:
Only one girl get all these wahala?

My main chick doesn't allow me gonk her pvssy anytym I want, and am considering dumping her.
Not to talk of one girl having all the wahala's the OP listed. I will pay LAWMA to dump her for me.

Lol

To call u stup*d is an offense

Marry this lady and you just made the 'best decision you will ever regret'

Its best u break up with her..but try talking to her first if she still dosent change den go ahead with da break up...number3 though why neglect her he own personal hygeine that's sick..

Honestly, your eyes are opened already. She get offence plenty oo. My 2 kobo, if you can't take it, you drop it like it's hot!!

Personal hygiene is a basic thing every woman should do without being told.It is after keeping yourself neat that you can extend that cleanliness to people around you.

She is not your housewife thereby she is not entitled to doing your house chores for you.She can only do that if she will but as a lady,there are certain things you just do without someone begging you to do them.

In the anger aspect,I suggest you sit her down and explain to her the things that makes you angry and how she can avoid them.like someone stated above,if after discussing things with her,she still didn't change then you can take a drastic decision.

She's extremely comfortable with you I guess and that's why she doesn't feel ashamed to do and say those things. That's a positive first of all.
I think you should sit her down and tell her all the things she does that irritate you. You'll be surprised how willing she will be to change. She just didn't know they bothered you.
After you've done that, then break up with her. It's obvious you are no more in love with her. She'll be extremely heartbroken but you'll save you both a marriage of problems and she'll know the mistakes she shouldn't make with her next guy.


Check this thread and smile

https://www.nairaland.com/2814646/beautiful-work-art-christmas-gift

Well just as my grandfather advised me when he was alive,,if his/her faults are more than the goodside =dont try to make it work and ,,if the faults are little.u can cope with it knowing that we all aint perfect..

Nobody go c fire kon jump inside.

check her good side...compare it with the ones that put you off, weigh them, speak with her then do the needful cz I'm feeling your plight.

women are like art that you can't completely understand and searching for a perfect woman is like searching for a vegetarian lion...u no go see am

I've tried talking...it mostly ends up in a stale mate....u know all dat defensive s.hit. she's quite fun to be around with when she's not pissing one off...but I've been serious doubts.

docspikkey:
They say love is blind but marriage opens it up. I don't want to have a failed marriage later in life as this my girlfriend cum fiancee is really bringing out the beast in me and I think it's time we called it quits.
I don't want it to seem like I'm over reacting to some things that's why I'm bringing it here for advice because I'm really starting to loose it.

1. When we first started dating, she was pretty cool headed (or maybe she was pretending), and more shapely than she is now. Now she eats every thing she lays her eyes on, she's developed too much belly fat and even looks older than her age. A little caution from me to her and she goes on the defensive. She maybe derives pleasure in making me angry and I've got a temper I try to control. Nothing is too weighty for her so say. At times when we have a disagreement, she makes annoying references to my mother and she wants to be a daughter in law to this same person?

2. She expects me to do everything in the house for her from arranging the house to cooking to and expects me to do it with joy. Yes I can cook, and I don't mind assisting her in the kitchen, but it becomes annoying when she always wants me to cook when she's around and doing nothing. Is this what I'm going to face when we finally get married?? Leaving like a bachelor in my fuk!n marital home? Worse is she never fails to mention she's not my house wife...so maybe when we get married, she would say she's not my slave.

3. Hygiene, and in terms of neatness, she turns me d fuc.k down. Dropping her Bleep!n stained pads all over my house during her period or in my waste bin . Now as a medical practitioner, those things hardly irritate me but what should be done ought to be done and rightly too. I've tried talking to her but there are things a guy doesn't need to tell you if you are a mature lady. If she can't handle herself during her period, what would she teach our daughters when they get to that age? At times during sex, the smell is a turn off but I'm so careful not to hurt her feelings that I don't even tell her.

4. She tends to nag a lot until things go her way. That is my greatest turn off ; she knows it, yet she does it during these sessions she at times goes physical and expects me to lump it. There are times I get so mad I just go out so as not to loose it. I'm strictly against beating women but she's really leading me down that path and I think it doesn't need to degenerate to that extent before we go our separate ways.

These are just some of the things she does and most times when I imagine life with her due to all these her attitude, I get scared.
Or could the fault be with me? Could it be I'm expecting too much from her? Could it be my standards are too high and need to reduce?
Please advise me cos I'm seriously at a loss on what to do again with her and I'm writing with anger shaking every part of my body. I love her but that's not enough for me to condone every thing she does.

pls, if u can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen, before it will be too late.

@op, how long have you been dating/fucking this your girlfriend??

1) As a medical practioner, you should do her BMI. Take her out and ensures she has fun and cool then gently educate her on why she should change her present lifestyle, the risks and dangers if she doesn't and the need to hit the gym and keep fit. IMO, she would appreciate your effort and try to change. She would only become defensive if you do not present the subject in the right way. I'm speaking from experience here

2) You guys are not married yet so why are you living together? I think I'm with her on this one. You can't tell me she has not cooked or cleaned the house for you before. You never complained she's a bad cook so what's the problem here. This is why I hate cohabiting. Give her some space

3) The only complain you gave about her hygiene is how she dumps her sanitary pad all over the house. Like I previously said, this is what you get when you are living together. Besides, I can infer that she's very comfortable with you. To solve this issue, you can get a special waste bin and tell her to put her used pads there. Do not keep quiet about it. Let her know she stinks next time you have sex with her, she will feel embarrassed and hopefully change.

4) Pls do not hit her for any reason. This one she's going physical on you, I hope you don't have a small stature. Jst kidding. If she doesn't change on this then dump her immediately. She could kill you one day.

No one is perfect bro. Apart from her tendency to get physical with you, I don't see any major issue with her. The problem here is that you guys have ' seen yourself finish'. Hope u understand what I mean. You already sound like you are losing interest in her so give urselves space. Reduce the visits, calls and sex. Build up the relationship properly once again. If all these fails, dump her and move on

Double post

There are two sides to every story

I smhw find dis hard 2 believe,wit wat u said i guess she live wit u which is nt gud 4 a lady 2 do b4 marriage n as a responsible guy(if u are) u are nt suppose to allow that,u can only allow her stay a day or 2 n leave.its bcs u live 2gether that is why its happening.but sorry o apart from her mother does she nt hv family members who are disciplined that she lived with bcs for a lady to keep her used sanitary pad anyhow sounds smhw bcs i think that started from home or maybe she had a dirty room mate while in sch too sm1 like that cant stay with me o its either they relocate her or me to another room.n u said she doesnt look shapely again but sorry she is a lady u dont expect her to hv same shape forever n for her to involve ur mum shows she lack respect.i wont advice u to marry her or not bcs its all depends on u.

The same advice you would give to your Brother when he comes to you with such predicament, is the same
advice you should give yourself now. You and I know that she is not someone you should marry and duel
with. The red flag are just too many and she is not someone that is willing to change or adjust. tell her off bro.

There is nothing sexier than a man that cooks....... Back to the post, love isn't just enough to keep two people together.

Adaobi12:
Most of the things you listed here are not to be overlooked. they are really appaling.
Its not too much to ask for Cleanliness, keeping fit , peace of mind, good food and respect from your woman.

Sit her down,talk to her,you can also get a good friend of hers to talk to her.
If she persists a refuse to change, you bounce. Marriage should be enjoyed and not managed nor tolerated.

But why will a woman negelect personal hygiene?

I'm yet to see anything more futile in this world than sitting a woman down and yapping away at the mouth with the hopes of getting her to change.

This technique would easily work on a man cos' men are creatures of logic. Whereas women by default reason via their emotions.

fastestfinger:
I'm yet to see anything more futile in this world than sitting a woman down and yapping away at the mouth with the hopes of getting her to change.

This technique would easily work on a man cos' men are creatures of logic. Whereas women by default reason via their emotions.

Yet men seem hardwired for talking it out in all manner of ways.

What methods would now work in this seemingly hopeless kinda case?