The Travails Of Marrying Late - Family (12)

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Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by a2space(m): 9:28am On Dec 23, 2015

zheroes:
you are very much on point bro but I want to add a word or two.

OP has a valid point too. I got married at 38. I understand the feeling. But I blame myself. The problem most of us have is we sometimes miss the right person at the right age. No particular person is a destined right person. The moment you see certain qualities that make that individual right. But we always feel we can get someone better in the end though we may actually settle for less( regarding marrying a Very gorgeous and beautiful lady for guys and a wealthy and handsome guy for ladies).
Money and beauty isn't a guarantee for peace of mind. I can say my wife may not be as pretty as the ladies I dated but she remains my best because am with the best team mate and partner, someone that has my back, ready to build with me.
If you find a good person in time marry early, it has more benefits.

Some ladies were actually their own curse!! Knowing a lady is bound by time and yet they become extremely selective and lacking manners at the same time. In the end though everyone will carry his load. We have all wasted opportunities some may never be made up for. So be wise.

You seem to understand very well what I'm passing through. I've missed out on some ladies in the past all in the hope that I might get someone better. Now I sometimes regret it. Thanks for your comment . From OP

2 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Nobody: 9:38am On Dec 23, 2015

prettyjo:

27

am 16. Elder brother i guess i am

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by elantraceey(f): 9:39am On Dec 23, 2015

blakky97:
like I said; that is just one of the many scenarios life can offer. in the end, we all need faith In God. what if he's destined to impregnate his wife after 10years? his first child will be born when hes 53?

That's life for you but still we should be prepared for anything. My most concern is the children. I never want to train children in a broken home or one with so much instability and unpreparedness. I grew up in the later and it was solely by God's grace I didnt turn out wayward but now my siblings are living way better.

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by elantraceey(f): 9:48am On Dec 23, 2015

Toks2008:

#teamrightman

There is nothing like right or wrong spouse in most cases but it is us who define what we see as right or wrong

My brother na your story be that..as for me,YES i really love to settle down but im not desperate in anyway.

True , there's nothing like wrong or right spouse per say but every individual has a range of qualities he/she would love their spouse to posses but no one has it all, the right person could be the one who you can best live with his/her imperfections.

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Nobody: 9:49am On Dec 23, 2015

PushMusic:

If you know the way I love Alpha females ehn! You won't even mention the word Boss talk more of ass.

Really??

You don't feel threatened by them? shocked

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Nobody: 9:52am On Dec 23, 2015

Estharfabian:
Really??
You don't feel threatened by them?

Dafuq!
They make me feel more like the BO$$. cool

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Toks2008(m): 9:56am On Dec 23, 2015

elantraceey:

True , there's nothing like wrong or right spouse per say but every individual has a range of qualities he/she would love their spouse to posses but no one has it all, the right person could be the one who you can best live with his/her imperfections.

GBAM!

For me as long as a lady is pleasing to my eyes and excellent in kitchen,i may cope with the rest.

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Amhappy(f): 9:58am On Dec 23, 2015

Barywhyte:

Hey, can u introduce her to me please?

Naaaa,are u one of them too?

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Barywhyte(m): 9:59am On Dec 23, 2015

Amhappy:

Naaaa,are u one of them too?

one of who? Am serious no joke

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Amhappy(f): 10:09am On Dec 23, 2015

FxDuke:

madam could you please shed more light on the dupe part.....i dont clearly get your story. as for your friend are you jealous that your friend is about to taste and experience marriage people often regard as a sweet thing with right partner? there is gawd ooo!.

@everyone, what qualifies one to be the

I don't understand what u mean by this paragraph,how can I be jealous of her. I was very angry on the dupe,I still feel like squeezing the neck of the guy that did that to her. She doesn't earn much and some took her one year savings including 80% salary advance for Dec.

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Amhappy(f): 10:12am On Dec 23, 2015

Barywhyte:

one of who? Am serious no joke

Ok if you're for real,I will get to know you first because she's so hurt right now. You Pm me.

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Barywhyte(m): 10:13am On Dec 23, 2015

Amhappy:

Ok if you're for real,I will get to know you first because she's so hurt right now. You Pm me.

Fine then. I stay on this thread coz of u

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by troy20(m): 10:14am On Dec 23, 2015

a2space:
I am a 37 year old bachelor and I must confess that never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that someday I would be desperate to get married. When I was in my twenties, I used to hear of desperation amongst ladies to get married but I never clearly understood the feeling. I felt it was a "lady thing" until I got to the age of 34yrs. One day I was in my bedroom suddenly I felt the rush of emotions come upon me so strongly that all of a sudden started making me feel desperate for marriage. By the following year the desperate feeling became like torture and the loneliness was so depressing. I could no longer stand it when I attended weddings to see other young couples getting married. I could no longer stand it when I hear people discussing marriage around me.

I became like an object of fun in the office when they would call me "the oldest bachelor". I'm telling you, the feeling is not funny at all. Even when people innocently ask "Hey, why are you not yet married?" or "what are u waiting for?" It's a question that I just can't take emotionally. Though I'm doing my best to tie the knot soon but I must confess that it is a feeling that I don't even wish my enemies to have.

If me as a guy could be feeling like this, I can just imagine what single ladies of marriageable age are passing through emotionally.
For those of you reading my post, it is my prayer that you all get married at the right time and age so that you don't have to pass through the same emotional trauma of loneliness and desperation to get married.

Oh you have no idea do you? If you think marrying late is the lesser of the two evils.just desperately wish you don't get married to the wrong woman.there is nothing worse.that will be a scar you will never erase.I have a couple of friends already married.and I am becoming the oldest bachelor amongst them already.a few seem to have gotten it right but the tales from a few others frightens the sh!t out of me.I mean look at me, a single bachelor counseling a just about a year old married pal already scheming a divource to stick it in cause just as they say the first year is about the hardest right? But in my head am saying oh sh!t! this could've been me, and all the decisions I made about letting some women I had in the past go while I make more hustle suddenly made sense.another pal of mine is already an emotional reck.so buddy marrying late is not even as that bad as marrying the wrong woman.then you know what true hell is.so chill take your time.marrying late can never be the lesser of these two evils.

4 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by baba11(m): 10:15am On Dec 23, 2015

Vision4God:
every1 has his tym, d most important thing is not to miss d ryt person at d ryt tym.
@op Just b calm bout it n let God lead u as ur preparing to tie d knot

The bolded part is the crux of the matter which is applicable to me too cheesy

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Spanner4(m): 10:20am On Dec 23, 2015

Vikky014:
hahahahahaha r u sure u read dis thread bfore typing dis?

Vikky wetin be ur own na, abeg leave me to find my soul mate na

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by chacoonder(m): 10:21am On Dec 23, 2015

AreaFada2:

OP, I get your drift.

I was discussing this "right time" issue with a friend recently.

Reason was an acquaintance who died this year.

He was too busy with other things in life. Trying to uplift certain family members among others.

He was finally engaged but died suddenly. A total shock to everyone. He was in his 40s.

Had he married at age 30, he might have had kids ranging from 16 to 10 years old. Old enough to remember him.

We pray for God's blessings, protection and long life.

Oh!..I'm moved.

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Spanner4(m): 10:22am On Dec 23, 2015

snowblaq:
Hope u r equally pretty

Am "agbani darego guy" that's the adjective I use to qualify myself

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Barywhyte(m): 10:23am On Dec 23, 2015

Amhappy:

Ok if you're for real,I will get to know you first because she's so hurt right now. You Pm me.

Done. Something like sending email to u. Is dat right? Never PM on NL b4.

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Spanner4(m): 10:24am On Dec 23, 2015

Jolllyjoy:
search no more

Just submit Ur CV to my Email, later I will call for the interview. Am gonna interview ladies and finally pick my soul mate

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Spanner4(m): 10:25am On Dec 23, 2015

misspicy:

see me here

Wow, u knw wat to do? Just kindly submit ur CV to my Email,later I will call for an interview

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Spanner4(m): 10:26am On Dec 23, 2015

HateU2:
Keep searching

Maybe u will be the one, Just submit ur CV u hear

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by elantraceey(f): 10:27am On Dec 23, 2015

Toks2008:

GBAM!

For me as long as a lady is pleasing to my eyes and excellent in kitchen,i may cope with the rest.

Then you own is easy nau

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Nobody: 10:30am On Dec 23, 2015

Spanner4:

Maybe u will be the one, Just submit ur CV u hear

U be 50cent undecided

That's d only guy I can submit my Cv to date him

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by ChiSun27(m): 10:30am On Dec 23, 2015

zaragal:
jst passing bye ...one advice!! NEVER RUSH INTO MARRAIGE YOU MIGHT RUSH OUT and by den u will be 50 and divorce...check which is worse. and has more stigma. take ur tym ....let GOD lead before u make a move....i said one word..already made a two sentence

Look at this foooo...lish tribalist giving out advise as if she knows what she's typing...odemu!!!

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by blakky97(m): 10:33am On Dec 23, 2015

elantraceey:

That's life for you but still we should be prepared for anything. My most concern is the children. I never want to train children in a broken home or one with so much instability and unpreparedness. I grew up in the later and it was solely by God's grace I didnt turn out wayward but now my siblings are living way better.

I understand you. my home wasnt perfect. but im glad my hard experiences shaped me. I see ajebutter guys who appear to me as women and I thank God im not like them. nevertheless it's better to train kids when you are younger and fitter than otherwise.

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Spanner4(m): 10:33am On Dec 23, 2015

HateU2:
U be 50cent That's d only guy I can submit my Cv to date him

Yes, I be Naija Chris Brown

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Nobody: 10:33am On Dec 23, 2015

Marriage is highly overrated. What is pretty much underrated is finding your soulmate, someone you can share your deepest passions and thoughts with, someone who fundamentally understands you.

Problem is that to be a soulmate to someone one needs to have matured oneself first, one needs to have faced and overcome challenges, one needs to have tested oneself in the fire of life in order to get to know oneself and to understand what one is made of. That insight often comes with age. That is why I think every life-decision made before the age of 25 is premature and will be regretted later. One should use the 10 years of young adulthood to get to know oneself, to develop you own personality on own power and force and to learn to face solitude and embrace it as a friend who invites you to become free, free of the need to need others for selfish reasons. Because one cannot find one's real soulmate when the deepest driver is that one cant stand alone. One first need to be just happy with oneself and only then there will be place for really getting to know someone else and share the joy of a shared togetherness.

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Toks2008(m): 10:34am On Dec 23, 2015

elantraceey:

That's life for you but still we should be prepared for anything. My most concern is the children. I never want to train children in a broken home or one with so much instability and unpreparedness. I grew up in the later and it was solely by God's grace I didnt turn out wayward but now my siblings are living way better.

If there is one reason i laugh at many people who are too quick to castigate an individual for still being single especially guys,its because of their shallow mindedness.

Imagine in the past 20years of my life i have been with just two ladies and then i want to get married and these retired oloshos will tell me the past does not matter, everybody has a past...O yes i agree but that is a cheap excuse for living a wayward life and can be likened to a plea bargain after siphoning people's money.

Ladies must learn to understand that living a sexually decent life will be a plus for them in getting a hubby in a timely manner.

Trust me lady, if every lady tries to say NO to sex before marriage from their teens and they remain chaste and non materialistic, we will hardly see any lady at 25 still single but because of the rottenness in the lives of many ladies today,they have taken it as a norm to live a wayward life and they now expect one guy to just jump on them and marry them.

So please keep up your sexual decency cos that is the greatest quality most guys seek for in a lady even when they are strong factors in wrecking the lives of many ladies.

The most foolish comments i have ever heard from a clueless lady is that guys are responsible for the sexual recklessness of ladies and i am always quick to ask if these guys slept with them at gun point?

A guy will tell you sweet nonsense just to get down with you and after you allow him, he will be the same to narrate to his friends how cheaply you gave yourself to him. Ladies are their own pitfalls and their own bane.

2 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by obi123: 10:34am On Dec 23, 2015

deeptesting:
Marriage does not cure loneliness, if that is the only reason for getting married then take a chill Pepsi big bottle and relax because many are married and still lonely.. Secondly, what people say or think about you at 37 should not be your business, neither should it force you to get married... Bro i simply want you marry because you understand the purpose of the contract called marriage.. "Solitude is a gift".

May God bless you , Marriage is a massive task , it is the biggest effort you will have to make that can last a lifetime .
so many people are married and are still lonely, are childless, are loveless, are penniless, are miserable and the worst thing some arent even getting any (if you know what i mean).
They are just living with someone with whom on a certain day they called friends and family and made elaborate declarations which they have zero belief in

Marrying late is not necessarily a bad thing , i married at 36 and good lord i wouldnt have coped if i had married in my 20's , i realise now that i knew nothing then, right now i am a grown WOMAN ,i deal with things differently in a more diplomatic way than i would in my 20's, more patient, i am bringing more to the table , i am accomplished in my career and in my life in general, i now know my priorities and this helps me focus only on important things ,i went into marriage knowing myself as a human being, knowing how i want to be treated and how to treat a fellow human being.

while single it is important to educate yourself, improve yourself, read up, take time to fully understand who you really are so that you dont waste your years being someone else, dont waste your single years sleeping around and exposing yourself to all sorts .Your old age will reveal the kind of life you lived in your youth

Ask yourself will you marry YOU? i.e will you marry your type of person if you were someone else , start there

Use your single years to actually understand your OWN personality, a lot of people dont even know who they are , they have multiple personalities which confuses even they themselves , Find out what you actually like , write it out if it helps ? this will help you determine who you are most likely to get along with , whats your type? be realistic and honest in every way

6 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by manie(m): 10:40am On Dec 23, 2015

egbaguy:
idnt usually hurl abuses at people but oga,u re fucking tempting me to....... Guess ur dad washes plates at home,abi? Some chores are women's......deal with it or go jump inside lagoon......

My friend times have changed, I cook at home on weekends, baby sit and also wash my clothes whenever time permits. Getting married because you want a wife to cook, wash your clothes, clean the house etc are some of the wrong reasons for getting married. My children always look forward to sunday breakfast which i prepare for them.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................

Are you really an Egbaguy, because I am also from Abeokuta.

4 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by achimotan(m): 10:40am On Dec 23, 2015

Spanner4:
I need a Cute, pretty Nairaland lady to marry

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Toks2008(m): 10:42am On Dec 23, 2015

elantraceey:

Then you own is easy nau

Honestly so i tot but how very wrong i am.

I am a guy with very high taste cos cheating on my spouse or lady is not even what i think about. A man must be with a lady that turns him on sexually, a lady that has the sexual endowments he craves for..this is the first step to "reducing" the possibility of philandering.

This is one big factor that is delaying me cos i have seen numerous ladies that can't just turn me on even when naked and GOD forbid i put myself in perpetual bondage where i will be making out with my wife and then start imagining she has the endowments i want.

And then so far the ones that have the sexual features i desire are either hopelessly in love with materialism,too arrogant and sexually reckless and this is really getting me scared cos im now getting to understand why you see some seemingly cute guys with ladies athat are not it physically because i believe such guys got fed up with all these sweet chics who are just too arrogant.

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