I Am Falling Apart With My Mom - Family (5) - Nairaland
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| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by BrainnewsNg(f): 6:53am On Dec 25, 2015 |
tosyne2much:Thank you |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by BrainnewsNg(f): 6:55am On Dec 25, 2015 |
MrLexander: |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by Btruth: 6:56am On Dec 25, 2015*. Modified: 7:11am On Dec 25, 2015 |
You really need to learn fast man. Your mother is a template for you to learn how to handle your future wife, and if you don't make your mother happy now, I wonder how you are going to make your wife happy later. No matter how tough our mother could be, they always wanted the best for us. And, mind you, we ought not to be rude to none of our parents even to those who are older than us. Men, even ladies behaving in such your manners are not showing any sign of responsibility at all. I therefore support your dad, that you should go and prostrate to your mum and ask for her forgiveness kia kia now. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by Niceiroko: 6:57am On Dec 25, 2015 |
Repent,dnt talk bck t her anytime chuzydon: |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by BrainnewsNg(f): 6:58am On Dec 25, 2015 |
jstbeinhonest: |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by oliidell(m): 6:59am On Dec 25, 2015*. Modified: 9:16am On Dec 25, 2015 |
tosyne2much:Wao Tosyne! U just moved some notches up my respect ladder. Chuzydon, I see plenty of good advice in here. I'll just add that the Fourth Commandment says; "Honour ur Father and ur Mother so that ur days will be long in the land.....". It's the only commandment with a explicit repercussion. U copy? 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by chuksbogus2001: 6:59am On Dec 25, 2015 |
you felt you have grown, that you are no longer a child,that your mum have no right to shout at you but brother you are noting but a slimy little product of hers from her V.... you don't have to you your mother to show that you are now a big boy take that to your street bully and give your mum the respect and appreciation she deserve. who the hell are you!? if you like be 100yrs so far your mum is alive she is still your mother. though it's a transitional period in your life when such exuberance and high testosterone pushes you to do the unthinkable and leaves you to your faith. be wise and controll your self no one can help you if not you!!!! talk to your self |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by deeptesting(m): 7:01am On Dec 25, 2015 |
Bro just take it easy 21 is also a tough period for you, peer pressure, concern for your future, anxieties of what has been accomplished and what has not, emotions are high, pursuit for indepence and all what not... How do you want to grow into a responsible adult if you don't respect your parents. You saw Mum crying and you did not deem it fit to go in,wrap your arm around her and if possible cry with her; i bet if it were to be your bae you would surely cry with her.. That been said, please do the needful, even nature will be against you when you disrespect your mother. We are Africans, we are not trained to shout back at our parents it connotes poor manners and path to self destruction. I thought of my Mum, far in the village Old, skinned wrinkled Leg refuse to move when needed Eye delibrately refusing to give vision How fragile she has become She could not chase me around anymore when i pick the only meat from the soup pot I reminisce, gazed at the sky like i could bring back her blossom 3 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by dokiOloye(m): 7:02am On Dec 25, 2015 |
MrLexander:Spot diagnosis. Na igbo de cause this kin behaviour,esp d other one they call skunk. |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by Nobody: 7:03am On Dec 25, 2015 |
u are 21 which implies dat u have spent at least 16 years under her tutorage. the honest truth is dat by now u ought to have known what to say that would cheer her up or rather win her back |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by oliver003: 7:03am On Dec 25, 2015 |
change your attitude towards your mum, give her 100% respect at all time because it's religious and cultural. For me I can't stand when my mum talking to me or stand when talking to my mum, all I most knee down. I am 35 yrs now, marry with 4 kids. |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by iwakunbaba: 7:05am On Dec 25, 2015 |
OP i will advise you take time off to look back @ things and try to see where things have gone wrong, make amends and be your mum's friend. she might be too domineering( OR possessive) and you want independency pls try to understand her, see things from her own angle too. i know she is playing her part in your life. she is more important to you than any other woman in your life.....MAKE HER HAPPY AND RESPECT HER. |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by lastpage: 7:09am On Dec 25, 2015 |
chuzydon:Generally, you should never shout at your Parents... even if they say hurtful things to you, TRY and WALK AWAY! Bible says we shoudl obey and respect our Parents so that our days may be long!. That is a command with a Promise. The Bible also admonishes PARENTS not to EXASPERATE their children. Exasperate means "to provoke beyond control". I guess no one remembers this passage as l see no one has mentioned it at all? It is difficult to know exactly how to advice you because we need to be sure of certain things like: 1.) What were the "exact words" you used? This will allow one to judge and measure the level of "hurt' she might be feeling. trust me, "some" Mothers also play on the emotions of their children to the point of Blackmailing them, so they can always control them. Some mothers still want to control their married son/ daughter like s/he was a ten yr old. Now, dont get me wrong, like l said, you should never disrespect your Parents. 2.) What did she say to you, that made you say those words to her? I ask this because l want to know whether it is a case of "child exasperation" ..or a case of "delinquency" on your part. In both cases, you still must not be disrespectful to her. She is your Mother! If it is a case of delinquency on your part, l would urge you to retrace your steps back because what you do to your Parents (Not just your Mother), may come back to hunt you, when you have your own kids. You then need to kneel down, ask God for forgiveness and try to make her happy ... not because of the threats people are writing here  ... but because it is THE RIGHT THING TO DO.Never act out of fear, but do that which is right before God and man, that your conscience may set you free. Buy her a gift (nothing expensive to cause you financial headache) ...something to show her that you are remorseful and want her to forgive your bad behaviour. henceforth, keep being a good lad. If your outburst was as a result of "genuine exasperation".... (forget, we are all humans and we have feelings and emotional threshold) ... it still does not excuse your being disrespectful but one can understand that "you dont mean it but you simply lost your head". That is "human". Next thing to do is to learn to control your "emotions". I mean, in the face of provocation (it may come from anyone, your DAd, Mom or wife in future, inclusive), learn to remain calm and focused. Promise yourself to always "be in control' of your feelings. It is a very important virtue in life. It will help you in future. Now, despite how you feel, your Parent is/are your Parent. You MUST respect them. Write her a letter. express yourself "freely but respectfully" to her, let her know how you feel about whatever she has said, that brought out the "beast" in you. As Parents, we are also not infallible and we like other humans, offend our children but what we wont accept is for them to use that to disrespect us. My first son is your age, an undergraduate. I slapped him a few years back and he just winced and walked away! Afterwards realised l did it in anger for he did something very wrong. I went to his room to speak with him and found him crying. I asked him if it was the "one slap" that is making an adult like him cry like a baby?  He said "No, that he was crying because he felt hurt that he annoyed me to the point where l had to slap him".Now, that clipped my wings seriously. I said "look son, l am sorry, very sorry for slapping you. I should not have done that. I am deeply sorry". He held my hands, knelt down and said l should pray for him. I did and blessed him afterwards. In my own heart, l knew l have erred even though he did not utter any word..... but his tears were like a stab in the heart, for me. Since then, we are like 5 & 6... our relationship can never be better. I am sure the "bagger" would eventually read this before the day ends as he knows my i.d! Son, when you read this, know that you are a wonderful son to behold. I love you deeply. So, you see, keeping quiet as a sign of respect to your parents, could mean even more and have better effect than words can have, even when they exasperate you. Go to your Mom, ask her to forgive you and to pray for you. tell her you are sorry and would work on your temperament. I also hope your Mom will be magnanimous and stop saying you are not her son. Since she wont be reading this, there is nothing l will say to her here I noticed you said "You both are drifting apart" meaning "somethings" have been going-on for some time now? Thats a bad sign and maybe you need to speak with Dad and ask him to "settle" whatever is the 'deep-rooted cause" of the issue. But generally, we parents need to know how to manage our "grown kids". "space", "time", "respect" (not fear!) are things we need to give them and we should be 'calm', being the adult, in dealing with them. Ask you Dad to also plead with her, on your behalf and let her know that you dont mean whatever hurtful words you said and it will NEVER repeat itself again. Remember, if you cant remain calm in a situation... WALK AWAY FROM IT. get some fresh air, take a walk around (day time only), come back in and play some soothing jazz music. Dont also forget, kneel down and pray that God give you wisdom, as you grow older. Be strong and be good. Lastpage Caveat: Sorry, if l dont fall into the category that will blame a child,... just because they are a child. I try to be objective. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by Genea(f): 7:14am On Dec 25, 2015 |
tosyne2much:  |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by bettercreature(m): 7:17am On Dec 25, 2015 |
MrLexander:The OP is not a good boy |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by muhakeem(m): 7:36am On Dec 25, 2015 |
OCTAVO:does this also work if they sleep and wake up in the same room? |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by poweredcom(m): 7:38am On Dec 25, 2015 |
Hit her wit a shovel ok Eminem style |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by muhakeem(m): 7:45am On Dec 25, 2015 |
emusmith:he does need help, if he doesn't then he won't be voicing this out. . Do you know it takes a lot of courage to voice this out! not everybody can actually say this out?? |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by olalat(m): 7:50am On Dec 25, 2015 |
Call an uncle or anty from ur maternal side, explain things to d person. Tell d person to apologise on ur behalf. U too should do the apology thing with ur mum when both of u are alone. U won't know her value until she is no more. I loss mine two months ago nd feel she comes back so that I do more for her cos I'm still feeling I did not do more. Please amend ur ways. U are still a teenager Who need a lot of corrections and guidiance, mentoring and admonitions. Be carefull guy. Ur mama is like a diety. |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by burnfire202(m): 7:57am On Dec 25, 2015 |
Change ur ways for good. U may b doin all dis bcoz of how u see sm prsns trt their parents or frnds may hav told to b a big boy u hav to stand to ur parent, its not true. Change ur ways. I knw how it feels growing witout a mum to say good mrnin to in dis lyf. U have dat chance, dnt thrw it away. |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by ashjay001(m): 7:58am On Dec 25, 2015 |
D luv btw a mum n her 1st son is unbeatable. Chill, play nice n neva shout back on her, ever. |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by mu2sa2: 7:58am On Dec 25, 2015 |
tosyne2much:You deserve to be "3much" for these words of wisdom.We should always remember that under no circumstances should a person say an unkind word to his parents. Even if you feel offended by any of your parents, you don't get angry or swear at him or her. You must respect your parents and love them at all times. We should act with tact and be diplomatic when dealing with our parents to avoid hurting their feelings. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by sherrylo: 8:03am On Dec 25, 2015 |
Oh oh this is simply the result of pride! Look at you, what have you got that you cannot swallow your pride before your mother? So if she had shouted at you or even slapped you in the present of your friends or gf wetin you for do? Abuse her or beat her up? Well sha this is truly the result of having "Mum and Dad" because if na "Mama and Baba" you get them for Don arrange your memory since when you dey small. I am married with 3kids but I tell ya dem never still born me reach make I raise my face when my "Baba" dey. para for hand even though I have been very comfortable for more than 10years now . If I were your gf I wouldn't want to go near or date a boy that shouts back at his parents cause no man of mine will shout at my parents. Remember when you do that you are giving other people including your younger ones the right to do the same and I am sure you wouldn't want that. Pls go to your "Mum" and plead with her to forgive you. Never ever look straight into your mother's face when she is angry let alone talk back to her ( she is your little god). |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by otiigba1(m): 8:05am On Dec 25, 2015 |
Me thinks you should move out, find your own flat or room, at 21 you are still living at home with your mum? You are prolly frustrated, (homornes) find a girl friend/wife, live apart from your mum but visit some times, you both need space from each other. Believe me it works. I know from experience Ultimately, she will start to miss you or each other |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by OlufemiWhit(m): 8:08am On Dec 25, 2015 |
MrLexander:I support dis claim.....try switch to codiene |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by Dawinlove(m): 8:14am On Dec 25, 2015 |
gurunlocker:it runs in d blood..dat trait can either b frm ur both parent.. yu nid to brk out of dat chain or family covenant cos u ar d first child..nobody shuld blâme u |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by Emmahunk(m): 8:15am On Dec 25, 2015 |
My advice will almost be totally different from all you have read but it's true because I once passed through this same ordeal . Yeah, our moms are/were loving, kind, caring, etc. They can go to any length to give us the best and THEY CAN ALSO GO TO ANY LENGHT TO MAKE SURE WE REMAIN TIED TO THEIR APRON STRINGS THROUGH SENTIMENTS! While nothing ever should have made you talk to her rudely , you should learn to put across your views to her, politely but firmly. With time you are expected to have your own family and remaining mommy's boy for life will adversely affect your marriage. Nwanne, at a certain stage in life , A MAN GOTTA BE A MAN. She will come around, don't go acting as if your world is crashing or she will have you exactly where she wants you. Merry Christmas to you all 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by onome2013: 8:15am On Dec 25, 2015 |
You are not detailed enough to tell us what happened, but how dare you shouted at your mum no matter the circumstances  Your child will pay you back so please change before its too late. |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by otiigba1(m): 8:16am On Dec 25, 2015 |
dokiOloye:sure, skunk has turned a lot of teenagers into zombies and violent Animals, the other day a 16 years old punched an 81 years old woman straight in the face, and her friends were cheering and laughing with her they obviously thinks its okay for their 16 years old girl friend to punch an old woman. |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by tosyne2much(m): 8:17am On Dec 25, 2015 |
mu2sa2:Bros, you are so on point. May God give us the heart to take very good care of them |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by missKiffy(f): 8:17am On Dec 25, 2015 |
publicenemy:Lol the way you ended it tho |
| Re: I Am Falling Apart With My Mom by tosyne2much(m): 8:21am On Dec 25, 2015 |
Emmahunk:Nice one my biggest boss 1 Like |
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