How Do I Overcome This Deceit? - Family (3)

How Do I Overcome This Deceit? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › How Do I Overcome This Deceit? (5638 Views)

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by sisisioge: 6:59pm On Dec 25, 2015

aflyingbird:
sexual infidelity i.e. adultery is grounds for divorce in the Bible.

what d hell?? she should just pray for him n be happy in her marriage? mcheeeew. how tf can she be happy in her marriage when she just found out her marriage has been based on lies?

Mmmm, Aunty you read too abi? The guy fraternises a lot with Ikare weed...they are the strongest, I heard.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Truckpusher(m): 7:00pm On Dec 25, 2015

sisisioge:
You should write a book on how to perfectly cheat on your spouse! Mmmm, your confidence is almost intriguing...however, it's gonna be your giveaway in the not so distant future.

This isn't about writing a book on how to cheat on one's spouse or girlfriend - it's a horrible life style that doesn't pay and no man would want to be jumping from one woman's arm to another one .
It costs money , energy and time. How about the emotional torture that comes with it ?
What I've presented to you is a natural phenomenon as it is in the laws of nature.
Women are emotional creatures and once you're on the better side of their emotions , you're almost a saint - I have seen women vouch for their husbands and boyfriends while the man in question is nothing but a dog that will hit any woman under her very nose.
Such men are so manipulative and extraordinarily good at it that you'd think that they are gods.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by sisisioge: 7:19pm On Dec 25, 2015

Truckpusher:
This isn't about writing a book on how to cheat on one's spouse or girlfriend - it's a horrible life style that doesn't pay and no man would want to be jumping from one woman's arm to another one .
It costs money , energy and time. How about the emotional torture that comes with it ?
What I've presented to you is a natural phenomenon as it is in the laws of nature.
Women are emotional creatures and once you're on the better side of their emotions , you're almost a saint - I have seen women vouch for their husbands and boyfriends while the man in question is nothing but a dog that will hit any woman under her very nose.
Such men are so manipulative and extraordinarily good at it that you'd think that they are gods.

I agree with you here but lets not forget the irrational passion with which these emotional beings treat these erring spouses when caught...jeez, someone once took out a feller's third just because he cheated! Wowzer! grin

I remember once going overboard to check my ex's line on the network cos guy's telephone record was suspicious. I found a chick alright. It was a distressing finding cos chick was seriously beautiful... Duh, I was "gentled". Told my bestie what I had done and my findings. Bestie was disappointed in me cos I used that tool but she sure wanted to kill him on my behalf! Moral...some guys dig their graves by toying with emotional spouses.

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Truckpusher(m): 7:25pm On Dec 25, 2015

sisisioge:
I agree with you here but lets not forget the irrational passion with which these emotional beings treat these erring spouses when caught...jeez, someone once took out a feller's third just because he cheated! Wowzer! I remember once going overboard to check my ex's line on the network cos guy's telephone record was suspicious. I found a chick alright. It was a distressing finding cos chick was seriously beautiful... Duh, I was "gentled". Told my bestie what I had done and my findings. Bestie was disappointed in me cos I used that tool but she sure wanted to kill him on my behalf! Moral...some guys dig their graves by toying with emotional spouses.

You're perfectly right but I was just stating the obvious while you were talking about the consequences.
We are all saying the same thing.

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Nobody: 9:58pm On Dec 25, 2015*

u didn't watch be4 marriage. ur own is even serious in d sense u guys been having sex be4 marriage. all these boy friend & girlfriend will never learn. funny few gud guys are still single while d bad ones using women as pads. when i see people date for years & after marriage their eyes begin see reality then I just laugh. if he has paid ur pride price well am sorry u can only pray to God to change ur husband situation & nothing less OK. u Don enter one chance young lady

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by cococandy(f): 10:52pm On Dec 25, 2015

Truckpusher:
It's a universally accepted fact and I'm not making it up ,though you can drown in your own ignorance.
Rubbish.

Okay. I agree.

All men are dogs who can't control themselves and will do anything for sex.

Happy?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Truckpusher(m): 10:59pm On Dec 25, 2015

cococandy:
Okay. I agree.

All men are dogs who can't control themselves and will do anything for sex.

Happy?

Including your husband and your father. Happy now ?
If you can't engage people from a logical point of view you better shut the hell up .
Learn how to control your hormones.
Peace out .
You deserve more ,but I'll let it be .
Jeez! Can't believe I said that - Yes ! I said it .

1 Like

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by MizMyColi(f): 11:22pm On Dec 25, 2015

Truckpusher:
Including your husband and your father. Happy now ?
If you can't engage people from a logical point of view you better shut the hell up .
Learn how to control your hormones.
Peace out .
You deserve more ,but I'll let it be .
Jeez! Can't believe I said that - Yes ! I said it .

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Truckpusher(m): 11:25pm On Dec 25, 2015

MizMyColi:

What ? She asked for it and she got it. cool

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by MizMyColi(f): 11:27pm On Dec 25, 2015

Truckpusher:
What ? She asked for it and she got it.

Let's chat at our joint grin

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Truckpusher(m): 11:28pm On Dec 25, 2015

MizMyColi:
Let's chat at our joint

Take me there straight .... cheesy

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by MizMyColi(f): 11:31pm On Dec 25, 2015

Truckpusher:
Take me there straight ....

I'm waiting eehhh

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by cococandy(f): 11:58pm On Dec 25, 2015

Confused much?
I said Not all men will do anything for sex. You disagree.
Okay I agreed that all men will do anything for sex. You dey vex again.

Stupid logic.

Truckpusher:
Including your husband and your father. Happy now ?
If you can't engage people from a logical point of view you better shut the hell up .
Learn how to control your hormones.
Peace out .
You deserve more ,but I'll let it be .
Jeez! Can't believe I said that - Yes ! I said it .

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by danot1030: 2:14am On Dec 26, 2015

Many of those advising you here are not married, they don't have a home. No marriage, human being or system is perfect. If they are asking you to move on, is it that you should stay out of marriage for life or find another man to marry? If it is the first option then is either you are going to become everyman's wife, a lesbian partner or remain unhappy for life, and if the second option is what you are settling for I can tell you that you never know what a horrible fellow the next man is going to be (though considerably good men out there, I mean some men are better than some for no man is good hundred percent). Life is a risk though. Many has turned judges here passing different judgements and views on your husband, well I am not saying your hubby is saved but that a man commit adultery does not mean he's not saved. It is possible a man could have an issue with a sin in his life as a Christian even differently from the issue of fornication and adultery but as he maintains his relationship with the Lord and aspire for a deeper level he receives sanctification from the different areas he's having sin issues. No true child of God is ever satisfy and want to continue living a life of sin. So if your husband is saved I can assure you that he will get over it as he maintains his walk with the Lord and seek to know Him the more, though the result of the process may not be immediate but he will get improve with time. God has never called the saint to serve him, he picked us all as sinners and made us saint to Himself, He works on us gradually until we all attains to the image of His Son. I feel uncomfortable when people passes condemnable comments on people when such is accused of a wrong doing and to think that the judges are not without their owns.

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Nobody: 4:53am On Dec 26, 2015

So much to be said about this post of yours. Where do I even start?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by mostyg(m): 4:55am On Dec 26, 2015*

Toks2008:
There is no place in my bible that ask a lady to divorce her hubby because of sexual infidelity and i might just shed more light on this if i decide to create a thread on it.

Dessertion is the only ground the bible gave to a woman to divorce her spouse.

I do not remember where I mentioned the bible and the last time I checked, the bible is not the constitution of Nigeria
On a lighter mood, why would you want a biblical solution to a non biblical problem? Didn't they see the bible before fornicating and having a child outside wedlock? Didn't she mentioned that the husband is a sunday school teacher with a 'big' bible? Didn't the bible discourage extra marital affairs being committed by the husband?
In my candid opinion, not all problems could be solved with the bible.
Thank you.

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by cold(m): 5:27am On Dec 26, 2015

All these so called god fearing men and women seem to be having a very hard time in their marriages. From violence to adultery and everything in between. Just read the other topic on the home page where the wife who literally slept in church turned out to be a manic,depressive,psychotic woman (avoiding the B word here).
Go through the family section and it's a litany of marriages tethering at the precipice of going to pieces. For the umpteenth time i'll say this,marry an Atheist & experience pure bliss. No pastors interfering,pitching one party against the other. No story book inhibiting your bedroom fantasies. Job prospects are wider without the restrictions of the kind of jobs you can do and the jobs that would buy you a one way ticket to hellfire. Need i say more?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Nobody: 12:32pm On Dec 26, 2015

sisisioge:
Mmmm, Aunty you read too abi? The guy fraternises a lot with Ikare weed...they are the strongest, I heard.

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by tpiar: 12:41pm On Dec 26, 2015

cold:
All these so called god fearing men and women seem to be having a very hard time in their marriages. From violence to adultery and everything in between. Just read the other topic on the home page where the wife who literally slept in church turned out to be a manic,depressive,psychotic woman (avoiding the B word here).
Go through the family section and it's a litany of marriages tethering at the precipice of going to pieces. For the umpteenth time i'll say this,marry an Atheist & experience pure bliss. No pastors interfering,pitching one party against the other. No story book inhibiting your bedroom fantasies. Job prospects are wider without the restrictions of the kind of jobs you can do and the jobs that would buy you a one way ticket to hellfire. Need i say more?

are atheists not required to constantly jump on any mention of religion? huh

I dont see how that type of militancy is better.

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Nobody: 2:11pm On Dec 26, 2015

Pity.
Sömething like this was on frontpage a few hours ago. But it was a man instead.

https://www.nairaland.com/2823242/upside-down-marriage

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by TV01(m): 6:12pm On Dec 27, 2015

tearoses:
CC TV01

...Ekú keresimesi cheesy

...we had a beautiful turkey...I always say that "a quality bird" is the answer to many of life's questions grin

Shocked:
I am sorry about the long epistle. What do I do?

Firstly, you take stock of your situation and decide what outcome you are after.

To be honest, your description of your husband is one kin'. You describe him as at once worshipfully devoted to God and, slavishly attentive to his family - working hard to look after you and spending inordinately on you - whilst at the same time appearing to spend every free moment in pursuit of women. And not just pursuit, but taking on their welfare? I wonder where does he get the time, energy or resource huh

It sounds contradictory to say the least.

So, assuming you are being upfront about your dilemma, and that you would at least like to attempt salvaging your marriage, there are number of things to consider.

Firstly, you need to confront your husband and come to some sort of resolution based on what would be considered normal in marriage and what is acceptable. It doesn't sound like you've done this. Blanket denials,would suggest a pathological liar, or at least someone who is not willing to repent/change his ways.

Don't involve your parents at this point. The news would be a shock to them and potentially hurtful if they are frail. How thankless a task raising children can be? At least they did their bit, and supported you when the whole thing started. And, they also clearly stated they would not be party to divorce. Rightly so I think.

If your husband fails to respond, then at some point you may have to involve both families - if they care to listen - at least to notify them of your intentions, but also to bring their weight to bear on efforts at restoration

Don't involve other outsiders or 3rd parties and tell your sister to keep schtum. Keep your child at the forefront of your mind, whatever outcome you pursue.

Start with that - all the best.

Thanks Bellong for parsing the x-tian claim. For some people it's merely a cloak, not core lifestyle. Great advice Onegig.

TV
^{...wanna weds, get a quality bird or you will dry fowl !}

1 Like

Re: How Do I Overcome This Deceit? by Nobody: 6:34pm On Dec 27, 2015

Truckpusher:
Including your husband and your father. Happy now ?
If you can't engage people from a logical point of view you better shut the hell up .
Learn how to control your hormones.
Peace out .
You deserve more ,but I'll let it be .
Jeez! Can't believe I said that - Yes ! I said it .

Says someone who has just said that men would do anything for s.ex. grin

Why don't you tell men to control their hormones before they cheat on those they promised to remain faithful to? wink

3 Likes

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