₦airaland Forum

Toyib wrote:
MY ONE KOBO ADVICE:


I have been looking for a comfortable time to share my thoughts on the message passed to us by Dr. Abdulhadi Tiamiy at the finalist's get together but that moment of total comfort may not come. There's nothing more that struck me in his lecture than his last important few words:

"If you do not marry when you're here (the university), you can NEVER find what you're looking for outside.


This man has all the experience. I heard he already had his HND when he came back for his medical school. He had his Nikkah the year he was to take his first medical exam and heaven didn't fall thereafter. When he was in the final year, he said he already had two boys, TWO BOYS.


So that I don't waste much lines saying the same thing we have always said, let me advise myself (first) and you on the few things we should note about marriage:


1. Except we find solace in deceiving ourselves, the society we find ourselves today does not permit that we delay marriage at all. See what we view with ours eyes daily; on TV, on the street, in our campuses, in fact everywhere we go. It always reminds us of what we should do when we become mature, the journey everyone who believes in the prophet and his message should embark upon; but we are too afraid to go into it yet. We are scared. We don't know what people will say if we marry at this early age. We are too scared to jump.


2. Allah has assured us in the Qur'an that He will assist, and His promises don't go unfulfilled. Matrimony is not about having millions of naira before one can have a wife. The Baaroka isn't assured in a flamboyant and colourful marriage Haven't you seen people living comfortably today run into bankruptcy tomorrow? If you know it has moved from the level of Mustahab for you to Waajib, find a way to marry, brother. And you who have money, help your brother to do the Sunnah of the Rosul. Reward abounds if you do.


3. Our parents should begin to understand that masters or PhD isn't the peak of success in life. Like I always say, as Standard Six, Form Five and other certificates have become of little or no importance today, PhD is coming to that level soon. And I tell people too, that when a lady studies and studies till he becomes of age, too ripe and old for marriage, then we have problem with who to marry her to. Our parents must start to support us who do not have means of surviving the marriage. They should bear some responsibilities for us. It's not until we bring a potruded stomach home and they have no choice but to help that they will extend their helping hands.


4. To the choosy brothers and sisters, let us retract our steps fast. If you're looking for the thin, the tall, the fair, the Haafedh or Haafedha, time is going faa. A friend recently told me that affection is not built in a day. You know it is possible that you love someone. And when you talk to them, you find that they don't hitherto reciprocate the feelings. What do you expect? You expect that it grows with time, isn't it? Let the same apply to you and do what needs to be done in time.


5. Brothers going to ask sisters out, see it as trying to pitch a job. Don't see it as "trying out how proficient you are in so doing. Like you're going for an interview, prepare well. Do it like you mean it. Don't let sisters come and ridicule the brothers and gloat at " weakness in speaking. If you're really ready for marriage, start by showing self-sufficiency. Don't call home each time you need money. Think of small business you can do and earn your money in short time. There's no point being shy about businesses. You're better than those who are still wholly dependent on home for survival. Dress well, perfume yourself and suit the taste of the sisters. Begin to learn how to care for the opposite sex. Don't argue and want to win all the time. These are preparatory steps showing your readiness for marriage.


6. It is wrong of anybody to intentionally stay 3 years dating. Don't say your level of Eeman covers it. That's like playing with the devil in the dark. The Prophet said what is best for two persons who love each other is to marry. Why then delay? May Allah assist us. If you're a sister or brother who's in need of a sister and at the same time afraid of marrying the wrong person, approach the Sunni brothers in your area or school and make your situation known. Don't be pushed to marry the wrong person. Marriage is a life contract. Making mistakes has a long lasting effect on our psychology and lifestyle.


7. Pray. Supplicate for assistance from Allah Azzawajal. Cry before Allah . Be serious about it. Tell Allah you don't want to do Zina. And with your sincerity, Allah will surely elevate you. He will assist you. We have had enough cases of divorce and this is one of this generations' travails. Let us try to be calm, patient and enduring. I will always say to sisters, first, then brothers that we should not think divorce as the first solution to every matrimonial disagreement. Some of our mothers would make us know that "they would have left them (our fathers) since but for us (their children)." If there's no other reason to stay than this, it is enough! Let us also be contented with what we have and avoid asking for too much than our spouses can afford. The brothers also should be really very careful with how they handle Polygamy and related issues. I'm sure you won't like another man sharing your wife with you so respect them when you're bringing another woman under your roof. Some sisters now see Polygamy as what brothers engage in when they have "small change". That's why they remind you of the days you've both spent in penury. It is not compulsory to have more than one wife. And I don't think anybody will be punished for not doing it. So don't make polygamy compulsory on yourself or use it to destroy your home.



Let us not delay marriage again. Don't be so addicted to western education or plan your life completely obeying the rules of the West. Don't expose yourself to the many means of Zina available today. May Allah guide and protect us. May He continue to keep us firm on this path of al-Islam and resurrect us as Muslims on the day of Qiyaamah. Aamin


Yours sincerely in bachelordom.

greatnaija01:
LIES FROM A MYOPIC FELLOW..............God help you.

prettythicksme:
I never ready

francizy:
Abeg do sharply marry Kingtom, make you no go reach menopause oh..

prettythicksme:
buhahahahahahaha oh lawd!!kingtom self never ready!

francizy:
OK, maybe e still dey shine the Congo of them babes way full Calabar..

prettythicksme:
pls dont make me sad

prettythicksme:
I never ready

Omotayor123:
OP as In Now

agarawu23:
i am ready, let's tie the knot

agarawu23:
yes, now. Let's get married.
No time to waste

agarawu23:
i am ready, let's tie the knot

prettythicksme:
U fit pay my bride price?

francizy:
Abeg do sharply marry Kingtom, make you no go reach menopause oh..

prettythicksme:
buhahahahahahaha oh lawd!!kingtom self never ready!

francizy:
Abeg do sharply marry Kingtom, make you no go reach menopause oh..

Omotayor123:
Yeye dey smell

KingTom:
Mumus I'm a married man

HateU2:
Really nice one. It's good to marry early but money and the right person nko?

KingTom:
Mumus I'm a married man

agarawu23:
ask anybody, dey will tell u I am the right person for u

But I know say u b guy

HateU2:
I don't do igbo guys

KingTom:
Mumus I'm a married man

agarawu23:
you fvck up big time. Na so you dey do your thing?

francizy:
Married? Which prostitute finally won your heart?

KingTom:
Mumus I'm a married man

KingTom:
Oga mi no vex Abeg the fool who needed it is not serious, tunde told me everything how your bros reserved some sef no vex Abeg I accept full responsibility. He got tied down but I still live in hope