₦airaland Forum

Chimdiebere:
guys who are virgins are simply nokbs and inexperienced

McSquishi:
A recent post had a virgin guy being pressured to have sex by his gf & ppl encouraged him to lose his virginity to her and forget his virginity. It can't be respected as cultural traditions, which I respect. It's simply outdated patriarchal hypocrisy. If there was anything genuine about the virtue of virginity in the eyes of those who desire such then a man waiting for marriage would be just as important.

jmoore:
FYI: Virginity is not the only thing I seek, other good qualities of a virtuous woman are included too. But virginity can never be negotiated. My life, my choice [/font]

jmoore:
Bros. I have made my choice. Nothing you wrote up there makes sense to me. I am anti-premarital sex while you are pro-premarital sex, therefore we don't think the same.

If you want to marry a retired prostitute, I will congratulate you. But as for Jmoore, it's tear rubber all the way. As for growing old before I find a virgin, I got many to choose from. Don't worry about me. Thanks.

AlienStar:
Being a non-virgin either is nt a guarantee to happy marriage.


A non-virgin maybe infidel 'cause s/he has tasted many "soups" n may nt be satisfied with spouse (ie comparing)

tho this generation doesn't value virginity it doesn't change the fact that VIRGINITY IS DIGNITY opening this thread shows that you feel inferior to virgins.

Carnations:
[s] This virginity thing. It seems a big issue for you. And it’s generating awkward contradictions in you. It’s the hidden reason you’re struggling with your emotions. You’re conflicted inside because you know you have no standing.

Okay, here’s the thing: In life, you must learn to use appropriate yardstick to judge and determine issues. You don’t use a ruler for example to measure the purity of water. That’s an inappropriate instrument though a measurement. Neither do you use a stethoscope to measure the pressure of a tyre. It’s a wrong pressure gauge. In the same manner, you can’t use dutifulness in church as parameter to determine the suitability of a conjugal prospect. It can serve as corroborative factor or even corroborant, but it cannot be the primary basis of consideration. A good church worker is not necessarily going to be a good wife, though the word “good” is common. Two separate issues. I mean, that she can sing down the heavens doesn’t mean she will make you a good wife. Vocal dexterity is not qualification for coupling. Choir is not a marriage context. If you base your marriage decision on her ability to sing, you’re clearly using a wrong means of measurement. A singing voice for example cannot help you determine if she’s clean or a relative of Unhygienix of Asterix fame. That’s how people arrive at wrong marital decisions. They use wrong parameters. And such a mistake can prove very costly to a man in particular.

Now l

http://manly.ng/nigerian-man-marry-a-virgin/


Follow Leke Alder on Twitter: @lekealde

rinzylee:
Premarital sex is a sin .... Virginity does not make a marriage work......Virginity is a pride....if you have not lost yours preserve it for your husband on the wedding night....in as much as virginity shouldn't be a criteria a criteria for choosing a life partner....it is still a virtue. God hates fornication and immorality. Save sex for marriage.

RexKex:
As usual, The Common Question: "The woman you deflowered, Who will marry her"


BUT what about the virgin Guys like me? How can I, After enduring The sexual urge now get married to someone whose Vagiina Has welcomed numerous dicks, Fingers & Mouths?


I Am not advocating for those with the desire to wed Virgins BUT threads like this make the Virgin Girl want to give it all up. When Sex has become like a virtue & when Most girls believe virginity Is archaic, Why will the virgin Girl cherish her chastity?


I have Long lost faith in the possibility of finding a virgin wife. It is unfortunately impossible to find a Virgin, Quote that anywhere!


So my Dear Olivia, Nobody is looking down on you for not Being a virgin. So don't discourage that Little girl trying hard to keep her chastity. If there's any message this thread is trying to send across, I think it will be this: "Virginty is archaic & Virgins are a Crazy bunch"

Orikinla:
[size=18pt]The OP is afraid of losing out to decent competitors since she has lost hers.[/size]

Toks2008:
My sweet heart please don't mind them jare..Guys will do all they can to sleep with you and tell you virginity does not matter yet these same guys will pick a virgin over a non virgin on a blind date.

Check any lady that imbibes the culture of no sex till marriage and you will hardly see such still single even at 25 so what does that mean?

The reason why guys care less about looking for virgins is not because they dont want one but they have no hope of seeing one.

My advice to guys is that they should just take the risk and be with any lady that catches their fancy virgin or no virgin.

kirchofff:
lol.......so wat should we call those that hand or any other object(cucumber) disvirgined.......secondary V or primary?

endyfine79:
This thread is just to discourage virgins n sell promiscuity! I refuse to buy. Who says virgins don't have good manners? Does it mean DAT once u loose ur virginity ur character changes to d best? No, ur character is ur character regardless ur status. Everyone has his or her own choice, some prefer chassis, some tokumbo, so why r u troubled wit oda pples choices? Continue living ur life n don't drag oda pple into ur style

Carnations:
This virginity thing. It seems a big issue for you. And it’s generating awkward contradictions in you. It’s the hidden reason you’re struggling with your emotions. You’re conflicted inside because you know you have no standing.

Okay, here’s the thing: In life, you must learn to use appropriate yardstick to judge and determine issues. You don’t use a ruler for example to measure the purity of water. That’s an inappropriate instrument though a measurement. Neither do you use a stethoscope to measure the pressure of a tyre. It’s a wrong pressure gauge. In the same manner, you can’t use dutifulness in church as parameter to determine the suitability of a conjugal prospect. It can serve as corroborative factor or even corroborant, but it cannot be the primary basis of consideration. A good church worker is not necessarily going to be a good wife, though the word “good” is common. Two separate issues. I mean, that she can sing down the heavens doesn’t mean she will make you a good wife. Vocal dexterity is not qualification for coupling. Choir is not a marriage context. If you base your marriage decision on her ability to sing, you’re clearly using a wrong means of measurement. A singing voice for example cannot help you determine if she’s clean or a relative of Unhygienix of Asterix fame. That’s how people arrive at wrong marital decisions. They use wrong parameters. And such a mistake can prove very costly to a man in particular.

Now let’s come to your issue. You want to marry a virgin. But there’s an inherent contradiction in your quest. You can’t test her virginity unless you sleep with her, in which case she’ll no longer be and you won’t marry a virgin. The truth is, all you have is her word. It’s what she says she is that she is at this stage of your relationship. You can’t even verify her word without compromising your faith. Now, here’s the irony of your quest for a virgin wife: You’re not a virgin yourself. At some point before you embraced your faith you engaged in sexual congresses. In other words, you have a past. In the same vein, she also has a past. But you’re willing to embrace your past but not hers.


As per your wife you want to be the man who “hit it first”, but tell me, the women you hit first who’ll marry those? In essence you can’t take what you dished out. The idea of someone being there before you consternates you. You can’t handle it, ironically. The reason she’s not giving you the confirmation you want on her virgin status is probably because she’s not. She likes you, wants you, but you’ve put impediment on progress: demanded for something she can’t amend retroactively. And so she can’t lie about her past, and she can’t tell you the truth either. Stalemate. You somehow think that her non-virginal status is indicative of a colourful and flavourful past. Perhaps. Same applies to you I guess. But you’ve not told me who she really is, just her sexual history. You didn’t indicate if she’s a loving and kindhearted woman. Whether or not she’s caring. You’ve not told me whether she’s trustworthy, whether she’s someone you can entrust your life to. And it’s not as if you’re accusing her of promiscuity. So the broken hymen just indicates she’s had sex in the past.

What I’m trying to say is, virginity is really not a test of whether someone will make you a good wife. You’re using a ruler to measure tyre pressure. Now if virginity is a psychological barrier for you, I’d say don’t go into marriage with her. You’ll keep judging her in the present because you can’t deal with her past. I’ll advice you keep your imagination in check. Stop imagining someone in the past on top of her. It’s unhelpful. But you have to reconcile yourself to the possibility you may not marry a virgin. Being real! Learn to be real in life. Your generation is very experimental with sex, and sexual imagery is so pervasive. Your music videos are highly suggestive. Think Anaconda. You’re being conditioned to accept raw sexuality. That conditioning generates results. Makes kids want to experiment with sex.

Be careful that your quest for virginity doesn’t make you miss a very wonderful and loving woman. Perhaps the first thing you ought to consider is what you want in a wife, what should you want in a wife. If this woman meets your criteria of a good wife to you I’d say go for her. You don’t want to regret not marrying her. If you marry an alternate, note that the virginity qualification will end on your wedding night. Then the marriage begins. You don’t want a wife who qualifies for only the wedding night do you? What happens in the days and years ahead? The faith you avow is very much anchored on Paul’s immortal words: If any man (or woman) be in Christ, he or she is a new creature. Old things have passed away. All things have become new. It’s either you’re going to accept God’s word concerning this lady or not. The decision is yours.

If you don’t however, that will be most unfortunate. I’m sure you’ve read about Pharisees. They were fond of using differing standards- one for themselves, another for others. Jesus had a running battle with those guys. You’re not a Pharisee are you? You can’t judge this lady by one set of standards and use another for yourself. It’s pharisaic.

http://manly.ng/nigerian-man-marry-a-virgin/


Follow Leke Alder on Twitter: @lekealde

Oyind17:
take the message

RexKex:
As usual, The Common Question: "The woman you deflowered, Who will marry her"


BUT what about the virgin Guys like me? How can I, After enduring The sexual urge now get married to someone whose Vagiina Has welcomed numerous dicks, Fingers & Mouths?


I Am not advocating for those with the desire to wed Virgins BUT threads like this make the Virgin Girl want to give it all up. When Sex has become like a virtue & when Most girls believe virginity Is archaic, Why will the virgin Girl cherish her chastity?


I have Long lost faith in the possibility of finding a virgin wife. It is unfortunately impossible to find a Virgin, Quote that anywhere!


So my Dear Olivia, Nobody is looking down on you for not Being a virgin. So don't discourage that Little girl trying hard to keep her chastity. If there's any message this thread is trying to send across, I think it will be this: "Virginty is archaic & Virgins are a Crazy bunch"

aetel1:
Please note there is a high chance a Virgin will cheat on u after marriage. There is something called mid life crisis when women feel alone. At this point such a lady will feel she had only one man and feel curious to want another. They may be more vulnerable. An example is Tyler Perry's confessions diary of a marriage counselor. Please be careful what you wish for. An experienced lady has been there and done that. God bless u, you are the best she has ever had. She will stick to u sexually.

ijames:
Jmoore as much as you're trying to make your point I see no reason you should refere to non virgins as retired prostitutes... It's show how much disrespectful you are and judging by the way u talk, it will be better for a girl to marry a respectful non-virgin man, than a disrespect virgin man....look inwards before u call call people names or insult people...I wish your sisters, anuties and even mother are/were virgins before they get/got married...not to insult you, but expanding on the point you just made....
Meanwhile get some sense..ok