₦airaland Forum

kaboninc:
Bae,

You can't feel the heat unless you are in the kitchen....

o yes i cant feel the heat of childbirth except if i get pregnant before marriage...ok noted

Vikky014:
marriage is a different ball game all together so that i treat all genders equally as a single lady does not mean i will do same to my hubby. so i dnt understand your advice about marrying all male friends

it was sarcasm, not an advice.

You think you know it all about life, guys and relationships. I'd like to see the male friend/fiancé that would be comfortable with your treating him no different from other male friends even after agreeing to marry him. Maybe you plan to jump from platonic friendship to marriage (all the best).

I know you are trying to avoid alot of dangers, but while the man who locks himself up in a little bulletproof box is wise enough to avoid death by gunshot, he'd still die of suffocation or starvation.

My point is, you have to be balanced and realistic. There are many paths to a sad outcome. Don't avoid one path simply by following the next one.

Oliviaarims:
He brought up Toke Makinwa as if he was trying to make a point that Toke who seemed to be crazy in love has been forced to realize that love doesn't exist.

Love do exit, it takes a brave mind to know that. I have had my share of love on a rough side. Sometimes love can make u do things you won't believe.

I will share my story someday

Vikky014:
o yes i cant feel the heat of childbirth except if i get pregnant before marriage...ok noted

It is not about childbirth bae...

Most of your comments here presents you as one who do not have an informed view about relationships.

Relationships are not about giving birth to children. And when I say I LOVE YOU, it doesn't still mean I want to get INTO you.

kaboninc:
You, IzonOwei, Oahray...are you guys in Love?

lol. Bros ask the question well o. It sounds like you are asking if a love triangle exists between us. I know that's not what you mean, but that's how it came out.

Oahray:
it was sarcasm, not an advice.

You think you know it all about life, guys and relationships. I'd like to see the male friend/fiancé that would be comfortable with your treating him no different from other male friends even after agreeing to marry him. Maybe you plan to jump from platonic friendship to marriage (all the best).

I know you are trying to avoid alot of dangers, but while the man who locks himself up in a little bulletproof box is wise enough to avoid death by gunshot, he'd still die of suffocation or starvation.

My point is, you have to be balanced and realistic. There are many paths to a sad outcome. Don't avoid one path simply by following the next one.

i hope you know that someone making his intention known matters alot. at least when a guy tells a girl his intention the girl in question will give him a feedback. you dont expect me to treat my fiance the way i treat others... fiance is quite different from male friends please in the former evrybody in the house already know that you are getting married to MR A. even your male friends will also be aware of that so that if they were nursing the feeling of marrying you they will retrace their step...Thanks

Oahray:
lol. Bros ask the question well o. It sounds like you are asking if a love triangle exists between us. I know that's not what you mean, but that's how it came out.

Lool!

Some of us have different views about LOVE and that's responsible for the "HAD I KNOWN".....

COOLCATS:
Good. Your point is, don't get into a relationship until you are ready for marriage. But pls don't love a man or tell him you love him because you want him to marry you. I guess you love your " male friends ". I mean you can go the extra mile to make them happy even as they are friends on the plain level when you have nothing to benefit. This is the only way you can tell if you have love in you.

The babe be like me, and i hold the same principles as her, that was what caught my interest, i only see some rigidity in her, but a couple of "healthy" relationships may make her flexible, but if she still remains rigid with a bad guy...it will always be a problem.


@Vickky am guessing you do not find your male friends attractive on that level, when you see a guy that fits into your personality, date him, you never can tell what will come out of it.

Vikky014:
i hope you know that someone making his intention known matters alot. at least when a guy tells a girl his intention the girl in question will give him a feedback. you dont expect me to treat my fiance the way i treat others... fiance is quite different from male friends please in the former evrybody in the house already know that you are getting married to MR A. even your male friends will also be aware of that so that if they were nursing the feeling of marrying you they will retrace their step...Thanks

How would you then meet your fiance?

Would he just appear? Would he just meet you on the street and say bae, I WANT TO MARRY YOU...and you'll say...YES I WANT TO MARRY YOU TOO?

Vikky014:
i hope you know that someone making his intention known matters alot. at least when a guy tells a girl his intention the girl in question will give him a feedback. you dont expect me to treat my fiance the way i treat others... fiance is quite different from male friends please in the former evrybody in the house already know that you are getting married to MR A. even your male friends will also be aware of that so that if they were nursing the feeling of marrying you they will retrace their step...Thanks

why contradict yourself? Earlier you said you'd treat all your male friends equally (so you don't chase others away), and marriage is different. Now you agree you'd treat one of them different because he has promised marriage, and the others would retrace their steps. What if he changes his mind afterwards? Wouldn't that be the exact same thing you are trying to avoid?

At least you are gradually coming into the light. You have to treat a future husband as special at some point before marriage. Quit the narrow-minded rant about relationships.

kaboninc:
It is not about childbirth bae...

Most of your comments here presents you as one who do not have an informed view about relationships.

Relationships are not about giving birth to children. And when I say I LOVE YOU, it doesn't still mean I want to get INTO you.

LOL@ informed view about relationship... please i dont subscribe to boyfriend girlfriend relationship.. besides i dont need you to say i Love you before i figure it out myself...so leave matter for Mathias abegi

I wonder if someone that relate with males is not in a relationship...must it be one person at a time cant you just hv friends based on different things like someone that can sing. someone that can write and someone that can dancemust u hv just that one person that can only sing and sideline the rest when you know truly that you r not in any commitment with that person

Somebody don break the op heart oo..

Vikky014:
I can only enter one chance if am also one chance myself

Beside in marriage Love grows till it matures to a very tall tree

now u cant date whom you cant marry yet u have the mindset that both of you might break up tomorrow why are u wasting your time dating her since you can marry her just go ahead and pay her pride price nah!!!!!

atleast it will save us from unwanted pregnancy thread...

lol..madam...goodluck to you..get married to a guy you know nothing about and then enter into marriage expecting to know him while married and enter the greatest one chance of your life...even if there might be a probability of a break up that doesnt negate the fact that exclusive love should be shown to the girl i love because when i date i date with a view to marriage..and i dont support sex before marriage..

Oahray:
why contradict yourself? Earlier you said you'd treat all your male friends equally (so you don't chase others away), and marriage is different. Now you agree you'd treat one of them different because he has promised marriage, and the others would retrace their steps. What if he changes his mind afterwards? Wouldn't that be the exact same thing you are trying to avoid?

At least you are gradually coming into the light. You have to treat a future husband as special at some point before marriage. Quit the narrow-minded rant about relationships.

LOL. my fiance will just be one of my male friends ok? am not contradicting myself. when a male friend upgrades himslf as my fiance we bcome separated from others and strt our marriage plans not having one guy for many years as a boyfriend in the name of someone special

kaboninc:
How would you then meet your fiance?

Would he just appear? Would he just meet you on the street and say bae, I WANT TO MARRY YOU...and you'll say...YES I WANT TO MARRY YOU TOO?

my fiance is among my male friends. thanks

IzonOwei:
lol..madam...goodluck to you..get married to a guy you know nothing about and then enter into marriage expecting to know him while married and enter the greatest one chance of your life...even if there might be a probability of a break up that doesnt negate the fact that exclusive love should be shown to the girl i love because when i date i date with a view to marriage..and i dont support sex before marriage..

i said i have male friends i dont do boyfriend . Thanks

kaboninc:
Lool!

Some of us have different views about LOVE and that's responsible for the "HAD I KNOWN".....

when I was young and foolish, I had fantasies about love. I thought it magical. It would just exist out of nowhere, and it's permanent and self-sustaining. No matter what the other person does, once in love always in love.

When one holds on rigidly to such fantasies and innacurate view of love, he'd likely jump from that extreme to another extreme (believing love doesn't exist at all) if he gets hurt.

Thankfully I didn't. Love exists and I'm still in it

fulfillbill:
The babe be like me, and i hold the same principles as her, that was what caught my interest, i only see some rigidity in her, but a couple of "healthy" relationships may make her flexible, but if she still remains rigid with a bad guy...it will always be a problem.


@Vickky am guessing you do not find your male friends attractive on that level, when you see a guy that fits into your personality, date him, you never can tell what will come out of it.

LOL. OK THANKS

Vikky014:
LOL. my fiance will just be one of my male friends ok? am not contradicting myself. when a male friend upgrades himslf as my fiance we bcome separated from others and strt our marriage plans not having one guy for many years as a boyfriend in the name of someone special

hmmm... Such naivity. You'd be quite easy to get sha. He'd just just promise marriage, act serious about it and you'd fall for him like manna from heaven.

It's all good sha, as long as you do not try to act like you know what happens in every relationship.

Toks2008:
And my answer is very crystal clear dude;Real Love exists only between man and GOD but what we have between 99.99 humans are flimsy conditional temporary feeling of affection mistaken as love....QUOTE ME IN HEAVEN.

Who broke your heart. Love exists. Between humans. You just have to base and start ur relationship on God and not sex. That's why u having it wrong

Toks2008:
And my answer is very crystal clear dude;Real Love exists only between man and GOD but what we have between 99.99 humans are flimsy conditional temporary feeling of affection mistaken as love....QUOTE ME IN HEAVEN.

How can we love God if not through man. I know God will not come down from heaven and tell me to love him. I must love him through man.
Again, Love does not ust happen between man and woman, it should also exist between neighbours. Love among nigerians can make the country greater than even Rome in a Month.

Oahray:
hmmm... Such naivity. You'd be quite easy to get sha. He'd just just promise marriage, act serious about it and you'd fall for him like manna from heaven.

It's all good sha, as long as you do not try to act like you know what happens in every relationship.

For you to qualify as a male friend means some qualities in you is good...how can someone jst promise one marriage and you fall like manna i hope you know promise means i will marry you. and it is quite different from Will you marry me??

what do you mean by acting like i know what happens in evry relationship is it now a bad thing to express yourself in a forum

I have come to believe that LOVE can only exist between GOD and man, says OP, please explain this love too because it is easier to say GOD loves man than the other way round, can you really say you love GOD, if yes, describe your daily, weekly actions and now compare them with your so called love for GOD, the only thing closer to true love is the love between a mother and child, some of us love our mothers to bits and would do anything for them now that is LOVE.

Vikky014:
For you to qualify as a male friend means some qualities in you is good...how can someone jst promise one marriage and you fall like manna i hope you know promise means i will marry you. and it is quite different from Will you marry me??

what do you mean by acting like i know what happens in evry relationship is it now a bad thing to express yourself in a forum

read your past posts about people in relationships definitely doing what married people do. You'd find the answer there. We've talked about this before on another thread.

Tell me, if he's your friend because he's good enough to be with, and all your other male friends are good enough to be with (thus the equality), what would make you eventually accept your fiancé as different from the rest? A proposal?

Toks2008:
And my answer is very crystal clear dude;Real Love exists only between man and GOD but what we have between 99.99 humans are flimsy conditional temporary feeling of affection mistaken as love....QUOTE ME IN HEAVEN.

Gods love.....agape..

They have other love..

Eros love..

Storge...

philia love...


What Ur topic is centered on as i can see is AGAPE LOVE...

Agape love is unconditional love... Other loves is kinda conditional..



To make ur topic clearer, the love u are talking about shuld be stated as agape..



See more here

Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē) means "love: esp. brotherly love, charity; the love of God for man and of man for God." Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one's children and the feelings for a spouse, and it was also used to refer to a love feast. Agape is used by Christians to express the unconditional love of God for his children. This type of love was further explained by Thomas Aquinas as "to will the good of another."

Éros(ἔρως érōs) means "love, mostly of the sexual passion." The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love." Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an
appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, "without physical attraction." In the Symposium, the most famous ancient work on the subject, Plato has Socrates argue that eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding
of spiritual truth, the ideal "Form" of youthful beauty that leads us humans to feel erotic desire
– thus suggesting that even that sensually based love aspires to the non-corporeal, spiritual plane
of existence; that is, finding its truth, just like finding any truth, leads to transcendence. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek
truth through the means of eros.

Philia (φιλία philía) means "affectionate regard, friendship," usually "between equals." It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. In his best-known work on ethics, Nicomachean Ethics, philia is expressed variously as loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Furthermore, in the same text
philos denotes a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or
enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.

Storge (στοργή storgē means "love, affection" and "especially of parents and children" It's the common or natural empathy, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost
exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant.

source:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love

kingcurtrex1904:
Who broke your heart. Love exists. Between humans. You just have to base and start ur relationship on God and not sex. That's why u having it wrong

Nobody can break a heart that cant be broken...only those who believe love between humans exists risk their hearts to be charttered.

I have always reiterated that 99.9% of my threads are for matured minds.

Any boy or girl below 23 may find it hard to grasp the deep messages but will realize latter in life how factual i am.

I repeat...forget love,just do the needful,get married,raise a family and make the best of your life.

If you are the type who believes one guy or lady loves u then your second name is sorry.

Go with the flow and be good to your bae but always be ready for an unpleasant action from that same person.

Dorget all these face value love and dedicate your love to GOD alone while playing along with your partner by respecting and caring for that person.

Only the dreamers believe in human love..be my friend,the mother of my children,a wife and my companion and im ok but dont ever bother fooling yourself beyond that...what we have as humans is contractual love.

This is not about a personal experience but the truth is everywhere for us to see and only those who choose to be blind wont see it.

Take away the benefits and see if that person will still feel same way.

This is not about those words..i love you...but it is the motive for saying the words.

Apparently we cant stop using those words as it remains the only way to reaffirm out present feelings for our bae.

Pls dont het it twisted,very few humans still love a fellow human unconditionally but that minute few is so negligible that one can confidently say LOVE BETWEEN HUMANS IS A FACADE...a chase after the wind...

Signing out.

Oahray:
read your past posts about people in relationships definitely doing what married people do. You'd find the answer there. We've talked about this before on another thread.

Tell me, if he's your friend because he's good enough to be with, and all your other male friends are good enough to be with (thus the equality), what would make you eventually accept your fiancé as different from the rest? A proposal?

when i get 80% of the qualities i want in one person and he proposes of course why wont i accept it besides my previous post was referring to the real meaning of boyfriend. Anytime a guy asks me to be his girlfriend i do tell him i can only be his female friend not girlfriend. if he asks the difference i refer him to his dictionary. Tell me how boyfriend and girlfriend relationship will exist without the S*X thing or can you be someone's boyfriend without doing that atleast any of my male friend is always free to flirt as he want. but can you say that a boyfriend can flirt as he want

fulfillbill:
The babe be like me, and i hold the same principles as her, that was what caught my interest, i only see some rigidity in her, but a couple of "healthy" relationships may make her flexible, but if she still remains rigid with a bad guy...it will always be a problem.


@Vickky am guessing you do not find your male friends attractive on that level, when you see a guy that fits into your personality, date him, you never can tell what will come out of it.

yea, healthy relationship. It's not a bad idea being in relationships when you are not ready for marriage tho. Like you said, it makes one discovers more about oneself , tolerate the other party more , more maturity in one's thought and line of actions. Sure, she must have that special male friend. She is just scared of being used and getting dumped. You know mum's way of telling her daughter to keep herself till she gets married but some fail to make them understand marriage is not about sex alone thus the rigidity you talking about.

Oahray:
wow! I hope any nice man planning to marry you gets to learn about this your viewpoint before he finds himself trapped in a loveless self-centred marriage.

I am married! And I know my husband doesn't love me.Its not a big deal

Vikky014:
when i get 80% of the qualities i want in one person and he proposes of course why wont i accept it besides my previous post was referring to the real meaning of boyfriend. Anytime a guy asks me to be his girlfriend i do tell him i can only be his female friend not girlfriend. if he asks the difference i refer him to his dictionary. Tell me how boyfriend and girlfriend relationship will exist without the S*X thing or can you be someone's boyfriend without doing that atleast any of my male friend is always free to flirt as he want. but can you say that a boyfriend can flirt as he want

*sigh*
You talk like a child sha. No offense. So your male friends do not have girlfriends and so can be set free by you to flirt?

A boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is either romantic or sexual or both, so yes, can exist without sex. Romance is not sex, although they are related. I'm talking from the experience you do not have.

Tell me, how would you know how the guy would treat his partner in certain basic situations (like when he's stressed up or upset) if all you are to him is just another female friend the way he's just another male friend to you?

Remember that you treat all your male friends equal as you claimed.

missyadorable:
I am married! And I know my husband doesn't love me.Its not a big deal

ehya. Sorry about your plight. I'm sure he's just as unfortunate as you are.

Oahray:
*sigh*
You talk like a child sha. No offense.

A boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is either romantic or sexual or both, so yes, can exist without sex. Romance is not sex, although they are related. I'm talking from the experience you do not have.

Tell me, how would you know how the guy would treat his partner in certain basic situations (like when he's stressed up or upset) if all you are to him is just another female friend the way he's just another male friend to you?

Remember that you treat all your male friends equal as you claimed.

hmmmm

if i cant tolerate 20% of the character of my future hubby i dnt hav any business in marriage. some people can pretend to be nice and change after marriage

like i said earlier my home is the school where i learn what marriage is all about. yes i threat all male friends equal. same with my female friends. what i can do for a Miss i can equally do it for a MR