Mindfulness:


1. It is funny that people will even consider this option.

2. They would even use force to make another human being be true to them, what a beautiful marriage.

3. My love for you is so pure that once you step out of line, I will punish you.


4. Let us criminalize it and see how many people will still get married.

Timbuktou:


1. Why so? There should be consequences for breaching a contract, marriage fraud. And like TV has said, not necessarily in a criminal sense.

2. Considering that marriage is more than just a love union you point misses the mark here. Furthermore, not everyone would divorce an adulterous partner. If a spouse is going to remain in a mare despite a partner's indiscretions, the forgiving partner might as well get protection from external forces. I could go on but...

3. Perhaps, you would steer clear of taking advantage of my love. Duh. If you cant be true to me don't marry me. Really simple.

4. Adultery is majorly an acquired taste. The general popular will likely fall in line. Criminalization of physical abuse in marriages hasn't ended the marriage phenomenon, it's made people respect themselves .

Mindfulness:


1. There are consequences like the loss of trust, suspicion, alienation or even divorce. What other consequences are you thinking of?



2. The forgiving partner needs to be protected from his/her own spouse? What kind of a sick marriage would that be?



3. Thinking that one can be true to someone and actually being able to stay true in the course of the marriage are two different things. Maybe we should also criminalize obesity, poor personal hygiene and a decreased libido in marriage so that nobody has a reason to cheat anymore.



4. It hasn't stopped physical abuse either.

Timbuktou:


1. Who loss of trust and suspicion help? These consequences you metion have proven to be insufficient deterrents.

2. If a person is going to forgive and continue living with a living partner out of magnanimity or even cultural pressure, they need to get some reprieve somehow. If it comes by law, so be it.

3. You can always leave your spouse if you're not satisfied with their weight, personal hygiene or libido levels. If I found my wife cheating on me, I would divorce her, but would gladly accept compensation/seek redress if available. She should just leave if she no longer feels attracted to me enough to go cockhop.

4. Well, the police and criminal code haven't ended crime. You're suggesting we abolish the criminal code?

Mindfulness:


1. Kindly suggest other consequences.

2. Someone will continue living with a spouse out of magnanimity and yet punish their spouse? You are contradicting yourself! Why not punish society for exercising cultural pressure? They need to be criminalized too.

3. If my husband gets fat like Yokozuna or stops showering every day, I will also leave him but kindly accept compensation. He broke the contract, this is not what I bargained for.

4. No, I don't. I suggest to abolish the notion that you own a human being just because you two got married. You don't like someone's behavior, you are free to leave.

Timbuktou:


Madam, I hail. Your argument pattern no be here. Anyway,

1. I'm in support criminalizing or codifying it. Fines could stipulated.

2. Women report their abusive husbands to the police all the time and not all of these women dicorce their husbands, do they?
Society doesn't hold a gun to anybody's head and force them to stick with a cheating spouse, it merely strongly advises you to.

3. Better still, you can sue him for his weight gain.

4. If anyone intends to act without control, marriage isn't for them. They could just cohabit or something. Once those dotted lines are signed you're in prison so to speak.

Mindfulness:
I am not because for me marriage is one of the best opportunities to practice unconditional love

TV01:


https://www.nairaland.com/2832052/why-marry

Morning Mindfulness, although this is somewhat true, that is not the reason for marriage. I don't know if you can see it, but so many inconsistencies in how you discuss matrimony. To me, that's because of what I consider to be a "faulty basis".

But not to be too hasty, please give us an insight into what you feel that marriage is and the reason for it.

Thanks


TV

TV01:

Morning Mindfulness, although this is somewhat true, that is not the reason for marriage. I don't know if you can see it, but so many inconsistencies in how you discuss matrimony. To me, that's because of what I consider to be a "faulty basis".

But not to be too hasty, please give us an insight into what you feel that marriage is and the reason for it.

Thanks


TV

mostyg:
https://www.nairaland.com/2832052/why-marry

mostyg:
3. I married to fulfil a religiuos duty, raise family for a good society and offcourse to satisty my sexual urge.

Mindfulness:
Good afternoon TV.

Mindfulness:
For me marriage is the conscious intention to make a relationship more stable as many of us desire some stability in our lives, for ourselves and for our children.

edwife:
Marriage is like a box,Unless both people start putting things into the box like Love, kindness, appreciation,selfness.......
There is no Love in marriage. Love is in people and people either put the love in marriage or keep it out.
There is no romance in marriage; people have to add romance and passion to their relationship or else the relationship will turn tepid and stagnant.

Mindfulness:
It is a chance to practice unconditional love

Mindfulness:
and it has some pragmatic value such as a better tax category, custody rights and rights to decide what is going to happen if one of the spouses ends up in hospital not being able to decide for him-/herself, for example.

TV01:

Holá



Edwife said this - https://www.nairaland.com/2872316/unhappy-marriage-pls-advice/2#42121997

Marriage does not possess inhenrent values (no matter how abstract) that you avail yourself of once married. You bring those into the marriage as a couple.

1. You yourself know you don't need marriage to commit, love, bring stability. or any other thing

2. Funny you mention stability, as you claim the right to leave once you are unhappy - stability does not mean happiness, and the right to leave does not underpin stability.

3. And although you rightly mention kids, stability for them is you staying together, which; a. does not require marriage, and b. is compromised by 2. above, which actually makes it about the adults and not the kids?

As above, I find this is inconsistent;
1. Does any other relationship form deny couples that chance?

2. How is it unconditional, if you can take off if you are unhappy? That is totally conditional, on your "happiness"

And as a side note; this unconditional love is not, as you often say, biblical. The biblical love is best termed "sacrificial". You are thinking of converting now abi? !

True, but all these were wrapped up in marriage before the law got it's grubby hands on it. And I believe are available with other legal forms of relationship.

TV

raumdeuter:
It's a moral issue and law doesn't legislate on morals

Mindfulness:
Well, I thought that you Christians define marriage as a union, in which you promise to honor each other among other things. Is horning your spouse not a value?

Mindfulness:
This is not entirely true as marriages are more stable than cohabitations so getting married does enhance stability.

Mindfulness:
You forgot that I have also repeatedly mentioned that it is each and everyone's responsibility to make themselves happy and not your spouse's. Food for thought.

Mindfulness:
As above. Chances are higher you will stay together when you get married.

Mindfulness:
In fact, no relationship denies couples that chance. You can even practice unconditional love with your colleagues and your neighbors but marriage is the best opportunity to do so since it is based on the intention to stay together permanently and closely and since the exit option is not easily reachable.

Mindfulness:
Very true but I also told you that my happiness does not depend on my spouse.

Mindfulness:
My family set up priests to convince me, they prayed and fasted and they sprinkled holy water on me. All to know avail. I guess, their faith is smaller than that of a mustard seed. It doesn't surprise me. It probably is the quality that most church goers share. I don't do sacrifices.

Mindfulness:
Well, there are countries where you need to be married to enjoy all these privileges and more.

TV01:
Mindfulness, Mindful, Mind, ah, ah. You never cease to use deflectionary tactics sha ! As I clearly stated, marriage itself does not imbue honour (or stability or anything else), it's what the couple put into, and make of it. Otherwise, they'd be no stories of married people being dishonoured by their spouses. Why willfully mis-read, and wrongly respond to clear statements and questions?


Not necessarily at the individual level. It still majorly depends on what the couple "put in".


Mi o je . A very odd assertion. As if the behaviours of ones spouse, ones supposedly commited life-long partner, will not affect your state of being, for good or bad?

And if happiness is solely down to self, why marry in the first place?


Or it's likely that people who are more commited to staying together largely opt for marriage?


You stated quite clearly that your "marriage" was not till death do part, and that you were free to leave if you were unhappy.

Twice odd, as you don't look to your spouse for happiness. So, your happiness is dependant on you only, you fail to make yourself happy, you can therefore divorce your spouse !

Reverb


Say what you like about your family, their priests and their religion. It has nothing to do with Christianity, the Bible, or The God of the Bible.
Marriage did not come into being to garnish privileges.Neither is it about privileges. So marrying for that reason, or for papers, or for tabloid fodder etc., is not the reason or essence.

Stop gorging yourself on processed religion, or GM faith . Eat the Bread of Life and enjoy life eternal .


TV

Mindfulness:
You are going round in circles. I have stated my reasons for getting married. Happiness was not on the list.

Mindfulness:
Whatever the reason is why it came into being does not matter to me as I was interested in the privileges it offered and I gladly use them to my advantage.

Mindfulness:
But kindly enlighten me on the reason why it came into being. Be careful here, I have done the research on the history of marriage so be careful, it is a trap.

TV01:

You are the one piling up conradictions...if happiness was not a reason for you to marry, why are you able - and specifically worded your vows to this end - to leave if you are unhappy?

And in a sense, that is fine - if one qualifies, one can - for whatever reaon, even if it defeats the purpose, or is against the essence.

God instituted it . And any attempt by man to alter or vary it, leaves it diminished.


TV

Mindfulness:
Simple! Because I am an evolving being and I may change my preference and desire in the course of time. And if I do, nobody can stop me.

Mindfulness:

Prove it.

Timbuktou:


Madam, I hail. Your argument pattern no be here. Anyway,

1. I'm in support criminalizing or codifying it. Fines could stipulated.

2. Women report their abusive husbands to the police all the time and not all of these women dicorce their husbands, do they?
Society doesn't hold a gun to anybody's head and force them to stick with a cheating spouse, it merely strongly advises you to.

3. Better still, you can sue him for his weight gain.

4. If anyone intends to act without control, marriage isn't for them. They could just cohabit or something. Once those dotted lines are signed you're in prison so to speak.

Lezzlie:
And I thought I was the only one who noticed. She's the princess of escapism and clever evasion of questions, using verbose, uncorrelated argument in making the original question more difficult in itself.

TV01:

So your preference and desire for "stability" for the kids may change over time?

And that does not change your assertion that you didn't marry for happiness, as that is down to you. Nor the contradiction, that you can leave the union if you are unhappy - which has nothing to do with the marriage

Disprove it . Or alternatively show who else did.


TV

Timbuktou:


Mehn, as you can see, I surrendered. That babe can turn one into Mr. Bean. I just wasn't ready.

Lezzlie:
And I thought I was the only one who noticed. She's the princess of escapism and clever evasion of questions, using verbose, uncorrelated argument in making the original question more difficult in itself.

Lezzlie:
And I thought I was the only one who noticed. She's the princess of escapism and clever evasion of questions, using verbose, uncorrelated argument in making the original question more difficult in itself.

Timbuktou:
Mehn, as you can see, I surrendered. That babe can turn one into Mr. Bean. I just wasn't ready.

Lezzlie:
lols! TV01 often catches her with her own trap.

Mindfulness:
TV, I don't think that you are in the place to understand

Mindfulness:
but I will t give it a try.

Mindfulness:
If I decide that I want to leave my job soon, that I have loved doing for a while, to do something else because I want a new challenge, then it does not mean that I am unhappy, it just means that I want something else.

Mindfulness:
By the way, kids grow.

Mindfulness:
Humans did.

Mindfulness:
And if you go by your belief, is God also responsible for the evolution of marriage since marriage has been constantly changing and since there are very different marriage types all over the world, which have always been changing? Has God also been changing the purpose of marriage, which has been different at different types in world history and across different cultures?

TV01:

I tagged her as Maradona ages ago - both the Argentine and Naija one combined


How can one ever be ready for this ? Sometimes I think "she's trolling me surely?" Other times, I actually question the perverse delight I get from counting the different ways she "artfully confabulates" - confusion, deceit, revisionism, hypocrisy, outright lies, fantasy, delusion all join.


Let she what she has for me today


TV

TV01:
Why not?

How kind.


There you go again, trying to make a comparision with something that is not morally equivalent. Do I really have to spell this out? Like you don't really know

Marriage is a lifetime exclusive and committed relationship. For better, for worse, in sickness and in health for richer, for poorer. After vowing to eschew anything else, you now want something else ?

TVjr recently declared undying love for rice-crispies, yesterday it was same for cheerios. Choice of breakfast - as employment - is at best morally neutral. But I would have a word if Jr swore to eat rice-krispies forever, and then changed his mind. Take vows soberly, be a man of your word.

Indeed. Did you know adults with children of their own are affected - sometimes deply traumatised - by their parents divorcing. Sound marriages are the predicate for healthy and flourishing generations.

A sole focus on yourself and your feelings means you will never fully grasp or acept what marriage is, or does. All you've done, is purloin marriage to justify acting on your feelings, and veil yourself with societal approval. God judges the hearts and the minds.
A pointless distinction. Whether God did and handed it to humans , or humans did themselves, it changes not the essence and reason for it.

God designed sex - does that make Him responsible for all the ways it is expressed ? And more specifically how it is abused and perverted. Is God responsible for same-sex marriage? Not my belief, and not my God. Your fuzzy, feelings-based logic - which yo uincidentally worship !

In this post Mindfulness, has dissembled, swerved, mis-ascribed, mis-represented, made a u-turn, tried to sell a dummy, and finally, crashed as usual .


TV

Mindfulness:



I don't care whether the analogy is a moral equivalent or not. It was supposed to show you that you do need to feel unhappiness in order to desire change. Very simple.

@bold
Who told you I took these vows? Again, I am not a Christian. I don't do illogical and inconsistent religions.
Such vows are gladly taken by those who need to define marriage as some form of bondage in order to control another human being as their source of happiness.




Did you know that "unsound" marriages affect and traumatize children too and that the most recent studies have proven that divorce is actually a relief to many children? You need an update.



What is the essence and reason for marriage?

And whatever you believe about God is your business. I don't share your beliefs and they do not make any sense.





This is funny to say the least. So God made se.x and God made marriage and according to God there should be no divorce, no abuse and no perversion and yet he created humans in such a way that they are frequently inclined to divorce, change partners and engage in abuse and perversion? So the Almighty was not mighty enough to create better beings who will live according to his will?

Sounds very logical and consistent to me.



Nah, it was rather TV who did so this time around.

Lezzlie:
But you can't carry on like this. All your submissions are based on subjective feelings and uproven principles.

Your views on marriage have no clear distinctions on any other forms of relations from that of marriage.

Permit me to say you're Godless, lacking in the ability to be define marriage as a selfless and committed union.

Your submissions is akin to that of a rebel, rebelling against a principle she Never understood in the first instance.