Hello,thanks for this platform.please permit me to go straight to my chronicle as am not sure how long I can last.I am a lady of 27years,a graduate.I met a guy lastyear and we started dating.When I met him,he was having financial challenges as he was an importer and at some point his business folded.He had nothing but he was very nice with a good character.I saw the way he was struggling to find his feet again so I stood by him praying and trusting God. I was working then and earning little salary so I used that to sustain myself and my family. Towards the end of lastyear, he introduced some people to me as his family members.He equally proposed to me but I complained about his financial situation,and asked that we hold on a bit till we are stable but he then told me about some of his landed properties and things he has which he wanted us to dispose and start a life.I went with him to see some of the things as I didn't want to be rushed into a marriage.I saw the documents showing his name and all d necessary papers.Well,we put it up for sale and I even helped advertise them online.When it was September,  he came to see my parents and we did  our introduction whilst planning Dec for the wedding.I was excited though skeptical but still trusting God.Honestly he was a good guy to me,though he didn't have all the cash but he cared. I took in after the whole introduction and I wasn't happy about it as we wanted it after the wedding proper but then I had to pull through as abortion wasn't an option since it was official we planning the imego by then.My problem started early january when the whole thing started dragging.He kept saying stories why we should hold on,meanwhile I had stopped work as I was so sick my job had to be on hold.I used up all my cash to sort my medical bills as it was so bad.Feeding became a big deal as no source of income.The height of it all is that his friends finally called to tell me dude has been lying to me about his status.I was told he had nothing,the house he lived in wasn't his,the people I know are friends not family,infact the landed properties were all falsified documents.I got to realise that he has a double personalilty.He even lied to my parents about his personality,which is a big slap to me.I couldn't believe it and started making my research and its all true he lied to me about everything from the onset.I am broken and confused as I don't understand why he had to put me through this,he knew I wasn't desperate to get married yet he couldn't keep the relationship till he got stable.   I am in a big mess now, as my family have started asking questions, worse still I am 5momths gone and have no single source of income.My family used to depend on me so at the moment everyone is on hold.They don't know am pregnant because I left the house to squat with a friend for some days just to cool my head.I have reached out to him and he has been begging that his sorry and he lied because he didn't want to lose me,pls who does that?I have asked him countless times how am suppossed to survive this trauma and cashless state but he can't even give a reasonable reply because he has nothing.For the past few days I can't reach him anymore as his phones are off and he is not within reach.I heard his run away for the meantime and I can't reach his immediate family because the people I know to be the family I found out were not related.Everything was just planned out but to what end?I am writing in now because am totally at a loss on what to do.I have been so down and haven't slept for weeks just staying up all night praying and asking God why me.I am frustrated,I have nobody to turn to.I am due for antenatal but can't go,I don't have a dime anymore as I have exhausted my savings on the survival of this innocent child inside me.My head is literally about to blow off with somuch thinking.I can't apply for jobs now because they won't employ me pregnant though I wish I can get a job because am very hardworking but I dont know where to start from.For the past few days its been garri I have been drinking and crying myself out.I tried to be careful but now am finished.I know many families are praying for kids,here I am pregnant with the devil trying to destroy me.I don't know if there is an organization that can take me in or atleast help me till I birth this child then they help me keep the child till I can work and pay them for all the stress before taking the child.The baby kicks so happily and every time he does that I just cry because am confused.If I can't feed how do I pay for childbirth,upkeep and others.why are some men so wicked?if he lied this much is he even worth marrying anymore?pls I need help.kindly advise me but take it easy with harsh words as I am already inbetween life and death.I am so fragile now,is abortion an option now?pls save a soul.Thanks and God bless.Moderator pls help me push it out as am goin through trauma.

For this Valentine?

Pls, where are you. Are u in the est of the country. If you are, i know an organisation that will take u in

When there is life there is hope. Please take heart.

Are u in d east? My heart went ou to you. Pls let me know if you are in d east. I have links with an organisation where u can stay and give birth. And make up your mind after delivery. It is a well run government approved place.

I am goint to bed now. Will check to see if you have replied tomorrow morning. Am so sorry my dear. May God help u. But please, if u are in d east, Anambra or Imo, let me know

Too long young lady but let me read it anyway

**********************************************

This is serious, All I'm gonna say is "So help you God".

I feel your pain

Kingsasian:
When there is life there is hope. Please take heart.

This is the same as I can say

adapeter:
Hello,thanks for this platform.please permit me to go straight to my chronicle as am not sure how long I can last.I am a lady of 27years,a graduate.I met a guy lastyear and we started dating.When I met him,he was having financial challenges as he was an importer and at some point his business folded.He had nothing but he was very nice with a good character.I saw the way he was struggling to find his feet again so I stood by him praying and trusting God. I was working then and earning little salary so I used that to sustain myself and my family. Towards the end of lastyear, he introduced some people to me as his family members.He equally proposed to me but I complained about his financial situation,and asked that we hold on a bit till we are stable but he then told me about some of his landed properties and things he has which he wanted us to dispose and start a life.I went with him to see some of the things as I didn't want to be rushed into a marriage.I saw the documents showing his name and all d necessary papers.Well,we put it up for sale and I even helped advertise them online.When it was September,  he came to see my parents and we did  our introduction whilst planning Dec for the wedding.I was excited though skeptical but still trusting God.Honestly he was a good guy to me,though he didn't have all the cash but he cared. I took in after the whole introduction and I wasn't happy about it as we wanted it after the wedding proper but then I had to pull through as abortion wasn't an option since it was official we planning the imego by then.My problem started early january when the whole thing started dragging.He kept saying stories why we should hold on,meanwhile I had stopped work as I was so sick my job had to be on hold.I used up all my cash to sort my medical bills as it was so bad.Feeding became a big deal as no source of income.The height of it all is that his friends finally called to tell me dude has been lying to me about his status.I was told he had nothing,the house he lived in wasn't his,the people I know are friends not family,infact the landed properties were all falsified documents.I got to realise that he has a double personalilty.He even lied to my parents about his personality,which is a big slap to me.I couldn't believe it and started making my research and its all true he lied to me about everything from the onset.I am broken and confused as I don't understand why he had to put me through this,he knew I wasn't desperate to get married yet he couldn't keep the relationship till he got stable.   I am in a big mess now, as my family have started asking questions, worse still I am 5momths gone and have no single source of income.My family used to depend on me so at the moment everyone is on hold.They don't know am pregnant because I left the house to squat with a friend for some days just to cool my head.I have reached out to him and he has been begging that his sorry and he lied because he didn't want to lose me,pls who does that?I have asked him countless times how am suppossed to survive this trauma and cashless state but he can't even give a reasonable reply because he has nothing.For the past few days I can't reach him anymore as his phones are off and he is not within reach.I heard his run away for the meantime and I can't reach his immediate family because the people I know to be the family I found out were not related.Everything was just planned out but to what end?I am writing in now because am totally at a loss on what to do.I have been so down and haven't slept for weeks just staying up all night praying and asking God why me.I am frustrated,I have nobody to turn to.I am due for antenatal but can't go,I don't have a dime anymore as I have exhausted my savings on the survival of this innocent child inside me.My head is literally about to blow off with somuch thinking.I can't apply for jobs now because they won't employ me pregnant though I wish I can get a job because am very hardworking but I dont know where to start from.For the past few days its been garri I have been drinking and crying myself out.I tried to be careful but now am finished.I know many families are praying for kids,here I am pregnant with the devil trying to destroy me.I don't know if there is an organization that can take me in or atleast help me till I birth this child then they help me keep the child till I can work and pay them for all the stress before taking the child.The baby kicks so happily and every time he does that I just cry because am confused.If I can't feed how do I pay for childbirth,upkeep and others.why are some men so wicked?if he lied this much is he even worth marrying anymore?pls I need help.kindly advise me but take it easy with harsh words as I am already inbetween life and death.I am so fragile now,is abortion an option now?pls save a soul.Thanks and God bless.Moderator pls help me push it out as am goin through trauma.

Send us a number or a location or a Facebook contact and help will swoop in like waves.... Here on NL we may be hard on each other but we care about those genuinely in NEED... That baby you may be carrying is special...

I will advice you not to put ur real phone number here, so that the immature minds on nairaland will not abuse you or take advantage of u. If u want to leave a contact, do it in a discreete fashion. Borrow someones number. Get a new sim, etc etc. Open a new email address, one u can discard when u no longer need it. You need to face this problem without the whole world knowing everything sbout you, or identifying u personally

Saying this because of the comment below by another poster

Send us a number or a location or a Facebook contact and help will swoop in like waves.... Here on NL we may be hard on each other but we care about those genuinely in NEED... That baby you may be carrying is special...

Mehn this is the most pathetic story I've read all week, so sad. Please, I'll advice you to take it easy and calm yourself down. Dont rush into making any rash decisions that you might start regretting later because, like someone above me said before, when there's life, there's hope. Why not let your mum know what's happening? I mean, mothers are more understanding in these matters. Talk to your mum while you try to find the best way out, and by His grace, everything will eventually work out fine. My prayers are with you, sister.


And pls pls, rule out the thought of abortion, pls, cos it's not a very healthy option.

I feel your pains but at 27 this is a costly mistake.

Girl you are in a big mess, if that man lied about everything I will never take him back.
You don't start marriage on such shaky foundation as it will fail
Just tell your mum the truth. Goodluck

Time is the most effective opiate of pain-Robert Ludlum.

I understand that you are going through what is probably the toughest period of your life, but rest assured that it will pass with time.

The main reason it is very painful for you now is that your mind has been focusing on all the bad consequences of your(and his) actions in the lead up to this situation. So, try and relax your mind abit for the start.

Resolve to deal with the situation openly, by reaching out to your family and just as you have asked for information about organisations that could help in the mean time. Your stress level will reduce once you start taking action.

You made a costly mistake, but you can work your way out of it to become wiser and stronger.

May God send you all the help that you need.

Godprotectme:
I will advice you not to put ur real phone number here, so that the immature minds on nairaland will not abuse you or take advantage of u. If u want to leave a contact, do it in a discreete fashion. Borrow someones number. Get a new sim, etc etc. Open a new email address, one u can discard when u no longer need it. You need to face this problem without the whole world knowing everything sbout you, or identifying u personally

Saying this because of the comment below by another poster

Send us a number or a location or a Facebook contact and help will swoop in like waves.... Here on NL we may be hard on each other but we care about those genuinely in NEED... That baby you may be carrying is special...

You sound desperate and I don't think your intentions are genuine

Op,your family are in the best position to help you,go back home and stay with them till you deliver.
5 months pregnancy is far gone and you are no longer a child

Don't think of reconciling with such deceitful man not even in your next world .
All the best!

Oyind17:
I feel your pains but at 27 this is a costly mistake.

She has learnt her lessons, hence no need to further demoralize her.

Offer practical counsel if you have or simply let her be.

uboma:


She has learnt her lessons, hence no need to further demoralize her.
Offer practical counsel if you have or simply let her be.

Face front abeg!

The pregnancy is far beyond the option of abortion. Go back home and have the child. It might seem like eternity but in three years you'll be back to your old self.

Thereafter concentrate in building your future and that of your child. If a good man comes marry. If nobody comes don't worry. The world is actually moving towards the era marriage doesn't count but hard work. Best of luck.

Good thing is that you discovered he is sham. I will advise you open up to your family and I believe you can get all the support you need from them. What matters is your happiness and well being at this point in time and it doesn't have so much to do with money.

Chai...this guy need 200 stroke of cane..

Don't try to abort. 5 months is too far gone. Tell your family, they may be disappointed in you but will come around. Forget that mad man, and forge ahead. Don't even look for him. God will give you your own man. The truth as you do not like it is that you were desperate and were looking for a rich man. Why will you leave your job when you are not even married to the man The fact is we women have a very good intuition, and we know when things don't add up. But some of us believe what we want to believe. If you were truly honest with yourself, you would have seen right through this guy.
There are things you can do to maintain you and your child. Many pregnant women work or trade. Enroll yourself in a skill learning trade and move on with your life. That child may turn out to be your blessing in future as long as you raise him to be a good man. I wish you the very best.

I think the worst decision you made was to quit your job, maybe you could have asked for sick leave instead ? Sorry for this experience, you need to pick yourself up again. Where are you located?

First of, if you are humble look for a restaurant around you and offer to wash plate or serve dishes so you can have food to eat.

Thank goodness you have data, visit Google and type "where do i find help for abandoned pregnant women in (add location)"

Send an email or call any of the organizations after you make your choice. If you give us your location some of us can help you with more info.

If he lied about everything and had no penny, how have you folks been coping? Has he paid bride price? What's the source of the funds spent on rent and bride price? and for the properties you advertised, were you able to make any sales? Does it mean you sold fake properties?

It is one thing to sell properties and then exhaust the money after a while... Money doesn't last forever, especially one without a steady source.

I think you over-estimated his WORTH (Women do this a lot). Even when we tell some of you that we earn an average of N2000 monthly, some women can package N2000 to mean N20,000.

That man is at fault anyway, at least for lying. However I feel the admittance of his fault is a gateway to success. People who lie about everything, especially their worth and bank account hardly make it in life. If he's ready to change for good, you folks MUST work out something. He needs to be in control. If he has a certificate, he could get a job as business is never an answer to any urgent need.

On a short term, I think you need to survive on possible donations. Your baby cannot continue to drink garri. But why is your family depending on you for everything? You're only 27! Don't you have able men in the family who are of same age range or older?

... Well its just a shame that youths of nowadays are so confused and live their lives so carelessly, first of all why did you have to sleep with him before you are out here screaming pregnancy now, when folks tell you to zip up, you will say they are old school. Before or when you did it you didnt come to nairaland to seek advice, the deed has been done now your asking for help. Okay lets say now u already messed up, why do you want to mess up the situation the more, now your talking of abortion why are you compounding your problem havent you had enough already? What if you die now from abortion complications? Or you are unable to conceive again after the procedure? The truth is that you should take responsibility for your actions you already got yourself in the mess, try and step out of it, dont fall deeper within.... Tell your parents or guardians what happened, they would scold you at first, but unless they are an unreasonable bunch, they wud listen and help out. Pray to God more often as well avoid fornication or adultery, as for the guy just forget about him, his gone, he took advantage of your situation and his judgement lies with his conscience and God.. You will rise up again dont worry, you arent the first to fall, just stay strong and pray harder.

Sad story

But God is on nairaland, relax now you will soon have a different story to tell..

Maybe you should flee from that man and just tell your family the truth...
Abortion Is not an option now

Seriously you are at fault,who goes into marriage plan without proper details of the spouse?

To me,you were desperate,making you ignore those red flags.

Anyway,we all make mistakes,may God help you.

[quote author=Justdulla post=42905711]... Well its just a shame that youths of nowadays are so confused and live their lives so carelessly, first of all why did you have to sleep with him before you are out here screaming pregnancy now, when folks tell you to zip up, you will say they are old school. Before or when you did it you didnt come to nairaland to seek advice, the deed has been done now your asking for help. Okay lets say now u already messed up, why do you want to mess up the situation the more, now your talking of abortion why are you compounding your problem havent you had enough already? What if you die now from abortion complications? Or you are unable to conceive again after the procedure?
your really are a dullard so you didnt see where she said she got pregenant after her introduction you are there judging someone else.......abeg poster the mistake has been made we just have to help you out of this tight corner you are in please try and respond biko.

You are not the first to experience this,you won't be the last.
Many have being through worst.
Please,crying and worrying solves nothing.
This is time to pull yourself together and find a solution.
My advice,DO NOT ABORT THAT CHILD.
The hope and messiah of your family and your lifetime.
Go and look for something to do.
IN four months,you will be due.
Send me your account details if you don't mind.
I may have a little something to get the baby kicking you more(I love them kicks).
Whatever you do,keep that child.
And learn from this experience,it only makes you wiser.

Please don't think of aborting,5 months is too far gone,where exactly are u located,lets see how we can help u because i guess u can't get financial assistant from your family,so it just God u and the baby. forget that idiot,have the baby and move on with your life.
Be strong for the baby!it may be tough but by Gods grace u will survive it.