₦airaland Forum

Okay guys,

Currently in that familiar stage of a relationship. The breakup and moving on stage.

I and the girl I intended to marry just called it quit after a year plus. We both were committed in making it work cos of the distance between us(different cities). The trust was strong. We spoke on phone everyday for the past years. Once in a while, she comes to be with me. It was amazing for me and her. The love was strong.

I made a huge mistake by snooping into her phone. Just wanted to be sure, the lady I intended proposing to was true and pure. Well, found out that her ex was still working his way to get her back. She met with her ex few months before coming to see me and mistakenly she succumbed and they got kissing according to her which she regretted and kept rejecting his proposal of getting back together. He was her first love. All from a voice note I found.

I was really upset, but somehow after days of pleading from her. I forgave her but by then it was too late. She felt guilty of breaking the trust and thought getting back together will never be the same. So we called it quit, a decision we both took.

But now, I am devastated, she was meant to be the one. Don't know whether I should get in touch with her and fix things or move on. It's difficult. Moving on is hard. I need mature advice from a relationship expert/coach. Should I let her go completely or look forward to getting her back. Before we called it quit. She cried that she doesn't want him that it's me she wanna be with.

Am a tough guy but this time around I am helpless. Starting all over is hard. Advise guys

guy you are not a good guy at all.... you do not deserve such a nice girl who has the strength to let go and punish herself, this is the time you should have proven your love firmly for her.... she needs security.... women may be the weaker vessel but men are weak too. so you have not heard that ONE BIRD AT HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH. pls run back to her with flowers and gifts n win her back, u just gave room to the other ex to come back.... THIS IS BAD. you didnt really love her that DEEP. you will never find a sincere, loving and mature lady like her.


THANK ME LATER.

Nigeria Is Populated with girls . Move On . Its Hard But Move on to someone better

This is too minor a reason to call off a relationship. Call her bro, dont let pride make u die in silence. U cant move on=u deeply loved her.
Call her... Tell her how hard it is for u to move on nd ask if she feels same way too. Ask her if u guys can start over nd give it a second try. If she stands by her decision of staying separated, den let her be. Its hard I know, but life has never been easy

Estharfabian:


tell her You made a mistake. You shouldn't have agreed to calling it Quits. You miss her and You'd love to spend the rest of Your life with her. You'd wanna grow old with her.

---

Bullshit!!! fvck it! who does that these days

Bitchhes everywhere.

she was truthful and submissive dnt move on.reconciliation is key.

Estharfabian:
LoL!



Uh...Guys who Use their hearts?
And sometimes, Guys who'd say practically anything to get into A girl's panties?

guys who use their hearts, Only fools use their heart in the game of love. the op is probably a teenager or an adult who is new to the game.

this is no conundrum, he should get a new bitchh not crying over one.

falconey:
guys who use their hearts, Only fools use their heart in the game of love. the op is probably a teenager or an adult who is new to the game.

this is no conundrum, he should get a new bitchh not crying over one.

Thanks for the contributions everyone. Falconey you've never found love yet. Like I said, I have been the kind of guy who doesn't take relationships seriously just like you now. Play the game with your head not your heart. But a guy has to settle down someday and leave the gameplay behind you know.

sicario1:
Thanks for the contributions everyone. Falconey you've never found love yet. Like I said, I have been the kind of guy who doesn't take relationships seriously just like you now. Play the game with your head not your heart. But a guy has to settle down someday and leave the gameplay behind you know.

Av read ur story im sure it was cos u never took d relationship crios she went to look for lovr else where she found out she was wrong and she told u d truth

Well just for the fact she was truthful i wud say go make up with her its very very very very hard to find a truthful partner cos ur heart will b at ease knowing all she is telling u is d truth

But if u feel u cant go make up wit her learn ur mistakes find love again and b happy

Many ladies tend to fall back for their ex. This is true bro, especially if his close and aroung the vicinity. If u really love her, just trust her, find no reason to doubt.
But presently, Uve gat to be sure where her heart lies right now. (Cos she might have even started to give her ex a second thought, she's a lady afterall).

My warning! Do not show her your feelings first oo! If she's still for you, u will know from her response, then u can reconcile but if her mind is off from you. My brother move on.

OP, it's natural the way your feeling. Building your life around that special one and watching it all crumble is too devastating a blow to take. Love weakens the strongest, and makes fools of the wisest of men. To move on or to rebuild the broken bridge of your relationship is a decision you have to make.
Firstly, you erred in going through her phone. Your reason of doing it '.. If she's clean' clearly shows a subconscious feeling of insecurity on your part and lack of trust in her. You definitely got what you wanted! Suspicion in all its forms is destructive. Your inability to handle your 'findings' and her sheer guilt has robbed both of you a relationship you both labored to built across miles.
The deed has been done. The bridge has been broken. It's no use crying over spilled milk. It's time to move on. The direction you take is entirely one you have to decide. However, make this journey only after a careful reappraisal of events. Hasty decisions like the one you both made always lead to sorrows, regrets and harm in all its forms.
My advice is for you to reconsider your stance on her. Although there's no justification to tolerate any form of infidelity, however understanding the circumstances that lead to it may help unbiased 'judgement' and quicken the healing process of breakup in the event reconciliation couldn't be achieved. She did wrong succumbing to pressure from her ex. First love or not an ex remains an ex!
Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Once it's broken the relationship is as good as been dead. Rebuilding trust takes time and great maturity. Most times its best to move on than to try rebuilding trust simply because of love or any other emotional stimulus.
Should you decide to give her a second chance. You should seat with her and have a heart to heart talk. Both of you should make a resolve to bury the past and focus on the future. On your part impress it on your mind never to raise up this ugly issue no matter what may happen in the future. You should equally work on developing the qualities of a real man. A little reading here and there will help. Also make it an habit to gradually show her more love, care and attention. Don't rush it. Women love space.
If on the other hand you choose to completely work away then do it gracefully. Don't talk bad of her before anyone. Don't call her names or act in a manner unbecoming of a man toward her. Cut all forms of communications with her until you have healed properly emotionally. Remember there are various stages of grieve/hurts, you must consciously master them to ensure you come out strong. Please don't rush into any other relationship because of loneliness. It's deadly.
It's often said a broken relationship is better than a failed marriage. If there are qualities you find irresistible in her, and your fully convinced you can overcome the past be the man and get your woman back. The antics of her ex will die a natural death. Trust me. There are many women but few wives. If your fully convinced she's the one don't waste any second go get your woman. Thanks.

OP, it's natural the way your feeling. Building your life around that special one and watching it all crumble is too devastating a blow to take. Love weakens the strongest, and makes fools of the wisest of men. To move on or to rebuild the broken bridge of your relationship is a decision you have to make.

Firstly, you erred in going through her phone. Your reason of doing it '.. If she's clean' clearly shows a subconscious feeling of insecurity on your part and lack of trust in her. You definitely got what you wanted! Suspicion in all its forms is destructive. Your inability to handle your 'findings' and her sheer guilt has robbed both of you a relationship you both labored to built across miles.

The deed has been done. The bridge has been broken. It's no use crying over spilled milk. It's time to move on. The direction you take is entirely one you have to decide. However, make this journey only after a careful reappraisal of events. Hasty decisions like the one you both made always lead to sorrows, regrets and harm in all its forms.

My advice is for you to reconsider your stance on her. Although there's no justification to tolerate any form of infidelity, however understanding the circumstances that lead to it may help unbiased 'judgement' and quicken the healing process of breakup in the event reconciliation couldn't be achieved. She did wrong succumbing to pressure from her ex. First love or not an ex remains an ex!

Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Once it's broken the relationship is as good as been dead. Rebuilding trust takes time and great maturity. Most times its best to move on than to try rebuilding trust simply because of love or any other emotional stimulus.

Should you decide to give her a second chance. You should seat with her and have a heart to heart talk. Both of you must be open in this regard. Avoid all forms blame. Don't give stringent conditions on how she should relate with her ex less you come off as an unsecured man. Both of you should make a resolve to bury the past and focus on the future. On your part impress it on your mind never to raise up this ugly issue no matter what may happen in the future. You should equally work on developing the qualities of a real man. A little reading here and there will help. Also make it an habit to gradually show her more love, care and attention. Don't rush it. Women love space.
If on the other hand you choose to completely work away then do it gracefully. Don't talk bad of her before anyone. Don't call her names or act in a manner unbecoming of a man toward her. Cut all forms of communications with her until you have healed properly emotionally. Remember there are various stages of grieve/hurts, you must consciously master them to ensure you come out strong. Please don't rush into any other relationship because of loneliness. It's deadly.

It's often said a broken relationship is better than a failed marriage. If there are qualities you find irresistible in her, and your fully convinced you can overcome the past be the man and get your woman back. The antics of her ex will die a natural death. Trust me. There are many women but few wives. If your fully convinced she's the one don't waste any second go get your woman. Thanks.

Tocheagle:
Nigeria Is Populated with girls . Move On . Its Hard But Move on to someone better

Who's 'better'