it has come to the point I have to voice out. my 4yrs old son has become so sturbbon I find it difficult to handle him.

this boy doesn't listen to any scolding or threatening. I have used every way possible to talk to him to no avail. before I used to pet him, but I saw he wasn't responding well to dat. now I have to shout, threaten n beat him but d case is still the same.

u can't see him sit at a place for a moment, he is either climbing, destroying or pulling down something. I have even stopped helping him wt his homework as he will never pay attention, I have told his teacher to let him do them in class.

eating time is d same, he takes a spoon n run around n will never eat half of his food.

I am now almost d enemy of almost every mother in d compound bc of him, each time he's out playing wt other kids, it must result to fight n I have to defend him! even his younger bother is not safe around him.

I must always let him have his way, otherwise he will cry and scream all day until I get tired n let it go.

he leaves n comes back from school by school bus by 6am n comes back 6to 7pm, I was thinking of changing his school next session, since all my complains to d school hasn't changed anything, cos I think d time is too long for him. but the truth is that those hrs r my only peaceful times.

I love him a lot but the tot of his behaviour makes me very angry.

pls mothers n counsellors, who can advice me on how to tame this boy!

Your boy seems to be hyper active

Your son seems to be having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). dont worry too much about him, Take him to see a Child Psychologist or developmental psychologist, beating him can only make him immune to pain.

I don't think I would resort to beating a four year old constantly,

He is discovering the world around him, a lot of patience, and constant retraining might work, he will slow down with time,

He is just one of those super active kids.

Dear OP, please and please stop beating the boy unnecessarily. Please take him for proper evaluation, he might have some behavioural challenges eg mild ADHD and can only be properly diagnosed by the right professionals.
Also he spends too much time in school for his age. To be honest with you, it is unacceptable for a 4 year old to be out of the house for over 12 hours, which I'm sure about 10 hours of those hours are spent in school. It is mentally stressful for the young boy. You have to look into this issue and treat it as a matter of urgency.

Engage him with some skills that can keep him bussy. Anything that distracts him can be used to keep him busy. He is a great child.

And try controling what he eats. So much sugar on these foreign products.

Nothing is wrong with the boy and he doesn't need any diagnosis, he is only doing his age.

Smiles.... I know how you feel right now however this is not beyond ordinary. He is just overactive and that is normal for a 4yr old boy(some girls are too). Firstly you have to stop him from the constant play with other kids in the compound if that will generate into adult issues.
Secondly get him good toys, charts, books with very interesting and colorful pictures.... This will take his time as he will be occupied with them.
Thirdly what kind of movies do you allow him see? Get him to watch kiddies stations where morals, good behaviors and friendly characters are shown especially those ones with songs for kids.
Make him responsible............ David hold your sister, I want to get stuffs from the kitchen.... Watch them and see how he does behind you. Gradually he'll know he has little stuffs to handle. He is just 4!
Pray for him... Teach him to pray too. Whenever lil Darling misbehave here...... We send him to his knees(he'll cry, keep eyes open, shout or sleep off)
You have to minimize the threats oh...... It worked during our time but these ones are 'digital babies' . Don't be sick because he'll grow to be cool.
Much Love.

I you should be patient with him and also when he as you questions about things you should try and explain to him no matter how boring or unintelligent it may seem, because children demand attention and they will do anything to get even if it gets you to become angry with them.

nat138:
Dear OP, please and please stop beating the boy unnecessarily. Please take him for proper evaluation, he might have some behavioural challenges eg mild ADHD and can only be properly diagnosed by the right professionals.
Also he spends too much time in school for his age. To be honest with you, it is unacceptable for a 4 year old to be out of the house for over 12 hours, which I'm sure about 10 hours of those hours are spent in school. It is mentally stressful for the young boy. You have to look into this issue and treat it as a matter of urgency.

I totally agree wt this but like I mentioned, the times he is away is d only peaceful moments I have. cld this hrs outside be affecting him? but he has been like this all his life, even right from d womb.

all d same, I think I should do something about it.

thanks for ur contribution.

Many are praying to be in ur shoes . Simply tie him to ur back all day long and dance atilogu . D boy go sleep

Stop beating him, give him mild punishment. Right madcow1

OP, I commend you for voicing out your difficulties in handing him, many of your kind will rather lie and say their kids are angels yet they display abnormal behavior. Your son is hyper-active, if you were abroad he would have been given behavioral therapy and may even be put on medication. You need to seek the help of a clinical psychologist. Please do not keep beating him, he needs help, it is not normal for a child to be constantly active the way you described him.

pattybf:


I totally agree wt this but like I mentioned, the times he is away is d only peaceful moments I have. cld this hrs outside be affecting him? but he has been like this all his life, even right from d womb.

all d same, I think I should do something about it.

thanks for ur contribution.

yes the amount of time he spends away from you can worsen his behaviour,
.
1. what class is he in nw.?
2. did he attend day care or kindergaten at all.?
3. Do they have caring teachers.?
4. Have u gone to see a therapist?

Swissheart:
Smiles.... I know how you feel right now however this is not beyond ordinary. He is just overactive and that is normal for a 4yr old boy(some girls are too). Firstly you have to stop him from the constant play with other kids in the compound if that will generate into adult issues.
Secondly get him good toys, charts, books with very interesting and colorful pictures.... This will take his time as he will be occupied with them.
Thirdly what kind of movies do you allow him see? Get him to watch kiddies stations where morals, good behaviors and friendly characters are shown especially those ones with songs for kids.
Make him responsible............ David hold your sister, I want to get stuffs from the kitchen.... Watch them and see how he does behind you. Gradually he'll know he has little stuffs to handle. He is just 4!
Pray for him... Teach him to pray too. Whenever lil Darling misbehave here...... We send him to his knees(he'll cry, keep eyes open, shout or sleep off)
You have to minimize the threats oh...... It worked during our time but these ones are 'digital babys' . Don't be sick because he'll grow to be cool.
Much Love.

ur advice is very good o but d prob is dat every toy I buy for this boy doesnt see d light of d next day. he is too inquisitive. he will like to see what is inside until he destroys it. i'm tired of buying TV remote sef.

I pray for patience to keep trying!

SUPERPACK:

yes the amount of time he spends away from you can worsen his behaviour,
.
1. what class is he in nw.?
2. did he attend day care or kindergaten at all.?
3. Do they have caring teachers.?
4. Have u gone to see a therapist?

he is in nursery one now.
he attended daycare from age one.
I always see him sitting down quite each time I visit his class, I don't know if dat means care from d teacher or fear.
I haven't seen any therapist.

peacengine:
OP, I commend you for voicing out your difficulties in handing him, many of your kind will rather lie and say their kids are angels yet they display abnormal behavior. Your son is hyper-active, if you were abroad he would have been given behavioral therapy and may even be put on medication. You need to seek the help of a clinical psychologist. Please do not keep beating him, he needs help, it is not normal for a child to be constantly active the way you described him.

I do not think it is normal too, I see other kids around n I wish he cld be like them. pls can u recommend exactly where I can take him to, i'm in Lagos pls!

pattybf:


he is in nursery one now.
he attended daycare from age one.
I always see him sitting down quite each time I visit his class, I don't know if dat means care from d teacher or fear.
I haven't seen any therapist.

try to observe him more closely in school, at random times, to ascertain what is making him to be quiet in class and nt at home.
its important you see a therapist, because it might progress into adulthood.
.
Did you pamper him alot previously b4 it got out of hand.??

pattybf:


I do not think it is normal too, I see other kids around n I wish he cld be like them. pls can u recommend exactly where I can take him to, i'm in Lagos pls!

I will update you

He is hyper. Spoilt too so u must not get tired of discipline. If u say u will flog him, make sure u flog him nd let him know wat he did wrong.

pattybf:


ur advice is very good o but d prob is dat every toy I buy for this boy doesnt see d light of d next day. he is too inquisitive. he will like to see what is inside until he destroys it. i'm tired of buying TV remote sef.

I pray for patience to keep trying!

He has got good energy only needs chanelling. Maybe thru sports etc.... Taekwando lessons on saturdays (the teachers re disciplinarians so he would have someone to fear) An inquisitive child is a good one.....

pattybf:
it has come to the point I have to voice out. my 4yrs old son has become so sturbbon I find it difficult to handle him. as I type now, my fingers r all paining me from d thorough beating I just gave him.

this boy doesn't listen to any scolding or threatening. I have used every way possible to talk to him to no avail. before I used to pet him, but I saw he wasn't responding well to dat. now I have to shout, threaten n beat him but d case is still the same.

u can't see him sit at a place for a moment, he is either climbing, destroying or pulling down something. I have even stopped helping him wt his homework as he will never pay attention, I have told his teacher to let him do them in class.

eating time is d same, he takes a spoon n run around n will never eat half of his food.

I am now almost d enemy of almost every mother in d compound bc of him, each time he's out playing wt other kids, it must result to fight n I have to defend him! even his younger bother is not safe around him.

I must always let him have his way, otherwise he will cry and scream all day until I get tired n let it go.

he leaves n comes back from school by school bus by 6am n comes back 6to 7pm, I was thinking of changing his school next session, since all my complains to d school hasn't changed anything, cos I think d time is too long for him. but the truth is that those hrs r my only peaceful times.

I love him a lot but the tot of his behaviour makes me very angry.

pls mothers n counsellors, who can advice me on how to tame this boy!

You are not fit to be a mother if what you described above is true. How could you beat up a little boy of 4 years old like that?

How about the father of the child? Is he always available for his son? Your little boy probably needs a fatherly figure around. And please, desist from keeping your 4 years old boy outside the home for 12hours on a row. Even as adults, staying away from home for 12 hours is stressful.

This is the only time you have to bond with your son and be his close confidant or else you will loose him for good.

pattybf:


he is in nursery one now.
he attended daycare from age one.
I always see him sitting down quite each time I visit his class, I don't know if dat means care from d teacher or fear.
I haven't seen any therapist.

Please tell me, during his days at daycare, how many hours averagely did he spend there each day before you go to pick him?

diamondc:
Nothing is wrong with the boy and he doesn't need any diagnosis, he is only doing his age.

Is he d only four yrs old around?,
I have one around me like dis. All d children in d street are scared of him. when he is coming, everyone go into hiding. He bites, throw stones at people, hit adults buttocks, flog d mum etc. And u say it is normal?

Tocheagle:
Many are praying to be in ur shoes . Simply tie him to ur back all day long and dance atilogu . D boy go sleep

No one is praying to have a problematic child pls.

pattybf:


I do not think it is normal too, I see other kids around n I wish he cld be like them. pls can u recommend exactly where I can take him to, i'm in Lagos pls!

Until, I saw Lagos, I was thinking u r my neighbor. The lady has fasted n pray for her 4 yrs son so many times. The son go about causing injuries to other kids in d area. This has caused d mom good rapor with people.

uboma:




You are not fit to be a mother if what you described above is true. How could you beat up a little boy of 4 years old like that?

How about the father of the child? Is he always available for his son? Your little boy probably needs a fatherly figure around. And please, desist from keeping your 4 years old boy outside the home for 12hours on a row. Even as adults, staying away from home for 12 hours is stressful.

This is the only time you have to bond with your son and be his close confidant or else you will loose him for good.

That's very insensitive of you to say. If she wasn't a good mother she wouldn't be here. I bet the father will slither in and out of the house not minding the havoc his son is causing and probably referring to the mother to handle "HER" child when he misbehaves.

That child has a behavioral problem as many people have pointed out. Take him to a child psychologist or clinical psychologist at Yaba Neuro-psychiatric hospital for proper diagnosis and therapy. He may have ADHD or not which has to be ruled out first. There are many types of Hyperactivity disorders.
When it comes to ADHD, no one diagnosis or treatment fits all. Everyone is different. The American Psychiatric Association has identified three types. Each has different symptoms, and treatments are based on those symptoms.

They are:

1. Inattentive Type: A person with this type must have at least six of these nine symptoms, and very few of the symptoms of hyperactive-impulsive type:

Not paying attention to detail
Making careless mistakes
Failing to pay attention and keep on task
Not listening
Being unable to follow or understand instructions
Avoiding tasks that involve effort
Being distracted
Being forgetful
Losing things that are needed to complete tasks
2. Hyperactive-Impulsive Type: To have this type, a person has to have at least six of these nine symptoms, and very few of the symptoms of inattentive type:

Fidgeting
Squirming
Getting up often when seated
Running or climbing at inappropriate times
Having trouble playing quietly
Talking too much
Talking out of turn or blurting out
Interrupting
Often “on the go” as if “driven by a motor”
3. Combined Type. This is the most common type of ADHD. People with it have symptoms of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive types.

TheArchangel:
That's very insensitive of you to say. If she wasn't a good mother she wouldn't be here. I bet the father will slither in and out of the house not minding the havoc his son is causing and probably referring to the mother to handle "HER" child when he misbehaves.

That child has a behavioral problem as many people have pointed out. Take him to a child psychologist or clinical psychologist at Yaba Neuro-psychiatric hospital for proper diagnosis and therapy. He may have ADHD or not which has to be ruled out first. There are many types of Hyperactivity disorders.
When it comes to ADHD, no one diagnosis or treatment fits all. Everyone is different. The American Psychiatric Association has identified three types. Each has different symptoms, and treatments are based on those symptoms.

They are:

1. Inattentive Type: A person with this type must have at least six of these nine symptoms, and very few of the symptoms of hyperactive-impulsive type:

Not paying attention to detail
Making careless mistakes
Failing to pay attention and keep on task
Not listening
Being unable to follow or understand instructions
Avoiding tasks that involve effort
Being distracted
Being forgetful
Losing things that are needed to complete tasks
2. Hyperactive-Impulsive Type: To have this type, a person has to have at least six of these nine symptoms, and very few of the symptoms of inattentive type:

Fidgeting
Squirming
Getting up often when seated
Running or climbing at inappropriate times
Having trouble playing quietly
Talking too much
Talking out of turn or blurting out
Interrupting
Often “on the go” as if “driven by a motor”
3. Combined Type. This is the most common type of ADHD. People with it have symptoms of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive types.

Thank you for this.

OP, do well to ignore the insults on your thread. Go to crime section and see the atrocities committed by people who had all kinds of undiagnosed behavioral problems as kids but many in our society thought they were normal. Good luck and more blessings to your family

Thank you @all for ur contributions/advices, I shall seek help for my son, since I have tried everything within my knowledge n none seem to ve worked.

someone mention he needs a father figure around, yes I definitely agree but unfortunately I have been a single parent to them as my hubby works away from us. tho I have complained n infact d situation is now threatening our marriage. story for another day!

@peacengine, i'm expecting ur update, thanks

TheArchangel:
That's very insensitive of you to say. If she wasn't a good mother she wouldn't be here. I bet the father will slither in and out of the house not minding the havoc his son is causing and probably referring to the mother to handle "HER" child when he misbehaves.

That child has a behavioral problem as many people have pointed out. Take him to a child psychologist or clinical psychologist at Yaba Neuro-psychiatric hospital for proper diagnosis and therapy. He may have ADHD or not which has to be ruled out first. There are many types of Hyperactivity disorders.
When it comes to ADHD, no one diagnosis or treatment fits all. Everyone is different. The American Psychiatric Association has identified three types. Each has different symptoms, and treatments are based on those symptoms.

They are:

1. Inattentive Type: A person with this type must have at least six of these nine symptoms, and very few of the symptoms of hyperactive-impulsive type:

Not paying attention to detail
Making careless mistakes
Failing to pay attention and keep on task
Not listening
Being unable to follow or understand instructions
Avoiding tasks that involve effort
Being distracted
Being forgetful
Losing things that are needed to complete tasks
2. Hyperactive-Impulsive Type: To have this type, a person has to have at least six of these nine symptoms, and very few of the symptoms of inattentive type:

Fidgeting
Squirming
Getting up often when seated
Running or climbing at inappropriate times
Having trouble playing quietly
Talking too much
Talking out of turn or blurting out
Interrupting
Often “on the go” as if “driven by a motor”
3. Combined Type. This is the most common type of ADHD. People with it have symptoms of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive types.

Are you a trained 'child psychologist'? If no, please keep your opinions to yourself. Let those properly trained in 'child psychology' diagnose the actual problem of the child.

I await the op's response to my questions.

pattybf:
Thank you @all for ur contributions/advices, I shall seek help for my son, since I have tried everything within my knowledge n none seem to ve worked.

someone mention he needs a father figure around, yes I definitely agree but unfortunately I have been a single parent to them as my hubby works away from us. tho I have complained n infact d situation is now threatening our marriage. story for another day!

@peacengine, i'm expecting ur update, thanks

so sorry about the stress . He is just overactive like I said.

pattybf:
Thank you @all for ur contributions/advices, I shall seek help for my son, since I have tried everything within my knowledge n none seem to ve worked.

someone mention he needs a father figure around, yes I definitely agree but unfortunately I have been a single parent to them as my hubby works away from us. tho I have complained n infact d situation is now threatening our marriage. story for another day!

@peacengine, i'm expecting ur update, thanks

Number 1 root cause has been identified. The father is mostly not around. Children do better when both parents play active roles in their lives. Paying school fees, buying clothes and toys, feeding the child are simply not enough for a child's welbeing.

I still await your response to my other questions.

Kindly refer the father to the child to this thread so he can learn a thing or two.