thelish:


Is he d only four yrs old around?,
I have one around me like dis. All d children in d street are scared of him. when he is coming, everyone go into hiding. He bites, throw stones at people, hit adults buttocks, flog d mum etc. And u say it is normal?

Lol you remind me of a cousin's son

thanks everyone for ur comments. I have learnt one or two things I can apply. I realized i'm not the only one in dis situation, let's keep praying and doing our best for them.

pattybf:

He is suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. You need to go and see your Gp and a Psychologist.

Your son is normal, there is nothing wrong with him

uboma:




[s]You are not fit to be a mother if what you described above is true. How could you beat up a little boy of 4 years old like that?

How about the father of the child? Is he always available for his son? Your little boy probably needs a fatherly figure around. And please, desist from keeping your 4 years old boy outside the home for 12hours on a row. Even as adults, staying away from home for 12 hours is stressful.

This is the only time you have to bond with your son and be his close confidant or else you will loose him for good[/s].

Mtchewww

Are you telling us that your mama never flogged you when you were four

pattybf:


ur advice is very good o but d prob is dat every toy I buy for this boy doesnt see d light of d next day. he is too inquisitive. he will like to see what is inside until he destroys it. i'm tired of buying TV remote sef.

I pray for patience to keep trying!

I used to be like that.

nairabacks:
Carckhaus and stevecantrell

Academy and boarding house can be a good idea but not in all cases.

A psychopath will remain psycopath even after attending nigeria millitary sch and NDA my brother grew up in those schools and still he was one of thosewho assaulted a man for calling a female cadet beautiful.

He can't change !

Your brother is a psychopath

It’s not always easy to tell since toddlers tend to have difficulty paying attention overall.

But ADHD is more than just typical toddler behaviors. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the condition can extend beyond toddler age to affect teens and even adults. This is why it’s important to recognize signs of ADHD in early childhood.

Read on for a checklist of symptoms to watch out for.

According to the Mayo Clinic, toddler-aged children, ages two or three years old can display symptoms of ADHD.

Inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity are three main signs of the condition in kids of any age, according to the NIH.

But these behaviors occur in children without ADHD as well. Your child won’t be diagnosed with the condition unless symptoms continue for over six months.
Difficulty Paying Attention
There are a number of indications that your toddler has problems with inattention, a key sign of ADHD. These include:

inability to focus on one activity
trouble completing tasks before getting bored
difficulty listening as a result of distraction
problems following instructions and processing information
Your doctor can help you determine whether your child’s behaviors are more extreme than those of other toddlers the same age.

Fidgeting and Squirming
In the past, ADHD was called “ADD” for “attention deficit disorder.” As reported by the Mayo Clinic, the medical community now prefers to call the condition ADHD because the disorder also includes a component of hyperactivity and impulsivity.

Signs of hyperactivity that may indicate your toddler has ADHD include:

being overly fidgety and squirmy
inability to sit still for calm activities like eating and having books read to them
excessive talking and noise-making
running around from toy to toy, constantly in motion

Impulsive Tots
Another telltale symptom of ADHD is impulsivity. Signs that your toddler has overly impulsive behaviors include:

displaying extreme impatience with others
refusal to wait his/her turn when playing with other children
interrupting when others are talking
blurting out comments at inappropriate times
difficulty controlling one’s emotions; prone to outbursts
intrudes when others are playing rather than asking first to join in

More Signs and Symptoms
The Kennedy Krieger Institute (KKI) has identified several other warning signs of ADHD in toddlers ages 3-4 years. The KKI notes that children in this age group may become injured from running too fast or not following instructions.

More signs of ADHD include:

aggressive behavior when playing
not cautious with strangers; overly bold
endangering oneself or others due to fearlessness
inability to hop on one foot by age 4

If you’re worried that your toddler may show signs of ADHD, talk to your pediatrician about how to manage it. While there is no cure for ADHD, through medication and lifestyle changes, you can relieve your child’s symptoms and give your child a better chance for future success.

Hope this helps

stevecantrell:


Very real ish....I'm dealing with a kid like that now.. A 24 year old Man who started out just like this. Now a convicted rapist and attempted murderer.
And yes he's from an excellent background before you ask.

Some kids are just not normal. Child psychologists can do nothing for these kids.

By the time they're juvenile they've committed one felony or another. That you're not spiritual doesn't make it unreal to many parents who have strange kids who become a society problem later.

You want to laugh after you have one of your own like that but some parents aren't smiling.

Anyway I don't blame you, I used to get as 'happy' as you when I had my own brief experience with Crack .

Bros, did you read through this thread? most of the posters are laughing it off as if it's a joke, many are down playing it as if it's not a problem, but this is how it all starts. Despite all the preaching rape cases in this country is on the increase, people killing their own parents and siblings, sadists killing others. Yet we think everything is okay, and every child is normal despite a clear case of behavioral problems. Bros don't waste your time explaining to people who dwell in ignorance

You just described my son,Just last week we went to visit my Aunt, he jumped from the chair unto the glass centre table and shattered it.Fortunately, he only sustained minor cuts.I know he will change someday.Dont give up on him,just show him love and please change his school.

pattybf:
it has come to the point I have to voice out. my 4yrs old son has become so sturbbon I find it difficult to handle him.

this boy doesn't listen to any scolding or threatening. I have used every way possible to talk to him to no avail. before I used to pet him, but I saw he wasn't responding well to dat. now I have to shout, threaten n beat him but d case is still the same.

u can't see him sit at a place for a moment, he is either climbing, destroying or pulling down something. I have even stopped helping him wt his homework as he will never pay attention, I have told his teacher to let him do them in class.

eating time is d same, he takes a spoon n run around n will never eat half of his food.

I am now almost d enemy of almost every mother in d compound bc of him, each time he's out playing wt other kids, it must result to fight n I have to defend him! even his younger bother is not safe around him.

I must always let him have his way, otherwise he will cry and scream all day until I get tired n let it go.

he leaves n comes back from school by school bus by 6am n comes back 6to 7pm, I was thinking of changing his school next session, since all my complains to d school hasn't changed anything, cos I think d time is too long for him. but the truth is that those hrs r my only peaceful times.

I love him a lot but the tot of his behaviour makes me very angry.

pls mothers n counsellors, who can advice me on how to tame this boy!

I saw your post late but we seem to have almost the same problem. My first boy will be four in less than a month and the second is 2 already. My first has intensified his stubborness recently with a lot of lying which i hate. He blames everything on his brother which was not how he was. He used to admit what he has done but recently, shifts the act to his brother even when i have seen him do the act.

My main worry is that he will never stop or answer his name when we ask him to. He bullies his brother too. Like if the brother opens the fridge and i scold him to close it, my first son will run to the fridge shoved his brother away and bang the fridge door. His brother cannot pick any toy or item he seizes it and when we stop him he insist unless you pick up a cable or belt pretending to flog him. On some days, he wakes up and decides he is not going to school. "Wear your uniform" he will boldly reply NO! Devotion time is always a problem until we reach the lords prayer before he joins.

Our neighbour that move out had older children who had older children. They pick up bad habits from there. I am aembarassed now that we have new neighbours who have a son younger than my 2. My neiggbours have learnt to close the door at their faces just like the previous ones. Once our door is opened our neighbours usually have to close theirs.

I feel you and pain of having a stubborn child. My parents told me i was stubborn too but not as much as my children. I am currently an introvert and completely respectful.i believe tha my children are just going through a phase which will go away. I prefer a stubblrn child at this level than teenage. I believe yours will calm down with time.

stevecantrell:


Very real ish....I'm dealing with a kid like that now.. A 24 year old Man who started out just like this. Now a convicted rapist and attempted murderer.
And yes he's from an excellent background before you ask.

Some kids are just not normal. Child psychologists can do nothing for these kids.

By the time they're juvenile they've committed one felony or another. That you're not spiritual doesn't make it unreal to many parents who have strange kids who become a society problem later.

You want to laugh after you have one of your own like that but some parents aren't smiling.

Anyway I don't blame you, I used to get as 'happy' as you when I had my own brief experience with Crack .

I said you're a comedian.
Some kids are just not normal, but the parent that birth them are normal right?
Where did the kid get the abnormal behaviour from? The sky? The devil? Sugar? Lol...

You ain't serious...not one bit.

A kid is hyperactive, is not the same thing as a stubborn and unruly kid..y'all shouldn't treat the two scenarios as one.
The only way a 4yr old will get so disrespectful, stubborn, and immune to instructions, is if the parent has been or was once too soft on him/her...children know how to gauge which adult to mess with and get away with it. You lot can keep deceiving yourselves, but you know there's truth to it.
If it is the devil, then the parent should also be blamed for introducing the devil to the child cos I don't see where a 4yr old will have contact with the devil.



Err brother, I don't think you've ever had any experience with crack...your head doesn't seem like the kind that will be able to take it.
You will run mad.

crackhaus:

I said you're a comedian.
Some kids are just not normal, but the parent that birth them are normal right?
Where did the kid get the abnormal behaviour from? The sky? The devil? Sugar? Lol...

You ain't serious...not one bit.

A kid is hyperactive, is not the same thing as a stubborn and unruly kid..y'all shouldn't treat the two scenarios as one.
The only way a 4yr old will get so disrespectful, stubborn, and immune to instructions, is if the parent has been soft on him/her... If it is the devil, then the parent should also be blamed for introducing the devil to the child cos I don't see where a 4yr old will have contact with the devil.



Err brother, I don't think you've ever had any experience with crack...your head doesn't seem like the kind that will be able to take it.
You will run mad.

If that's how you wanna roll, it not my problem...lol! U really don't know shit about much so I'll leave u to it !!!

stevecantrell:



If that's how you wanna roll, it not my problem...lol! U really don't know shit about much so I'll leave u to it !!!

Don't run..
Are you not going to tell me that I have not raised a kid and you have, so you should know better?

I said you're not serious!

A child WILL NOT get so stubborn, disrespectful, and downright troublesome if he/she doesn't know that he/she can get away with it.
Quote me anywhere...

nairabacks:
Carckhaus and stevecantrell

Academy and boarding house can be a good idea but not in all cases.

A psychopath will remain psycopath even after attending nigeria millitary sch and NDA my brother grew up in those schools and still he was one of thosewho assaulted a man for calling a female cadet beautiful.

He can't change !

Sending the kid off to boarding school may not be an absolute solution of course, I know that.

But when you're faced with the options of a mother who thinks her child will outgrow it, or who thinks it's because of sugar and the child is just hyperactive, or who can't stand to see her son cry and sob for a whole day, or who takes an advice from one very experienced stevecantrell about how she should take her son for prayers....please pray tell, what other reasonable solutions can you proffer?

crackhaus:

Don't run..
Are you not going to tell me that I have not raised a kid and you have, so you should know better?

I said you're not serious!

I child WILL NOT get so stubborn, disrespectful, and downright troublesome if he/she doesn't know that he/she can get away with it. Quote me anywhere.

I guess you read my post..? My dad did all you're talking about..you can't paint over various kinds of kids with the same brush and get the same result..

And for those talking ADHD, it doesn't spare performance at sch.. A child doing OK in school causing problems everywhere doesn't have ADHD.

nairabacks:


I guess you read my post..? My dad did all you're talking about..you can't paint over various kinds of kids with the same brush and get the same result..

And for those talking ADHD, it doesn't spare performance at sch.. A child doing OK in school causing problems everywhere doesn't have ADHD.

Okay then, your bro was born a psychopath straight from the womb and nothing can be done to repair such a person.

This is your submission?

crackhaus:

Sending the kid off to boarding school may not be an absolute solution of course, I know that.

But when you're faced with the options of a mother who thinks her child will outgrow it, or who thinks it's because of sugar and the child is just hyperactive, or who can't stand to see her son cry and sob for a whole day, or who takes an advice from one very experienced stevecantrell about how she should take her son for prayers....please pray tell, what other reasonable solutions can you proffer?

I don't remember OP saying shes sqeamish about boarding house, I'm sure the OP will try anything that would work, especially now she knows petting doesn't work. What is so wrong about prayers or psychologists ? Many churches do child deliverance, so many these days, you'll be amazed !
You think a child must have special contact with evil before evil takes over ? If you do then you need to pull the veil off your eyes, the world isn't just basic flesh and blood you see all the time.

Op take your kid to a deilverance service and find hundreds of others liike yourself. Even if you not so inclined take him! What harm can it do ?

crackhaus:

Okay then, your bro was born a psychopath straight from the womb and nothing can be done to repair such a person.

This is your submission?

I think at 29 you're fully formed. The guy needs a personal experience to shock him. Without that, I'm no longer expecting miracles. That's why the Op should do everthing, the rational and even what seems irrational cos her kid is still so young.

When I was reading ur story, I was asking myself if I posted in my dream because u were telling my story. Let me b straight. I understand ur plight very well. In my own side, sometimes am so fed up dt I cry. My son is going to be 4 this year and he cannot talk properly well as well. He is super-hyper active. This is hw I cope wt him:-
1) Beating makes him more stubborn. So I don't beat him often rather I use cane to threaten him
2) I force him to sleep whenever I felt he shld sleep even when I know he will not
3)If I don't want him to step out an inch, I will give him my phone to watch pictures and play games.
4) When I feel he shld, I put on Cartoon Network for him to watch.
5) I bought magic board for him to write and b tired of writing
6) I don't allow him play wt other children if am not watching them.
7) I send him errands around d house like fetching items for me.
Rather than beating him 4 being so inquisitive, I teach him how to use things. I demonstrate if need be.
9) Sometimes I pet him a lot because I realised it makes him human & he extends it to her younger sister.
10) I cannot leave him for even 5mins wt his younger sister because he might playfully kill her b4 I say Jack Robinson.
11) Most importantly, my husband and I normally lay our hands on him and ask God to perfect his life. We have even taken him to the elders of the church to pray 4 him.

Pls any of these you have not tried, try & see if it helps. God bless ur family.

Euy16:
When I was reading ur story, I was asking myself if I posted in my dream because u were telling my story. Let me b straight. I understand ur plight very well. In my own side, sometimes am so fed up dt I cry. My son is going to be 4 this year and he cannot talk properly well as well. He is super-hyper active. This is hw I cope wt him:-
1) Beating makes him more stubborn. So I don't beat him often rather I use cane to threaten him
2) I force him to sleep whenever I felt he shld sleep even when I know he will not
3)If I don't want him to step out an inch, I will give him my phone to watch pictures and play games.
4) When I feel he shld, I put on Cartoon Network for him to watch.
5) I bought magic board for him to write and b tired of writing
6) I don't allow him play wt other children if am not watching them.
7) I send him errands around d house like fetching items for me.
Rather than beating him 4 being so inquisitive, I teach him how to use things. I demonstrate if need be.
9) Sometimes I pet him a lot because I realised it makes him human & he extends it to her younger sister.
10) I cannot leave him for even 5mins wt his younger sister because he might playfully kill her b4 I say Jack Robinson.
11) Most importantly, my husband and I normally lay our hands on him and ask God to perfect his life. We have even taken him to the elders of the church to pray 4 him.

Pls any of these you have not tried, try & see if it helps. God bless ur family.

I like ur points, very practical. playing games with my phone works for him but he usually deletes my apps!

I shall try d rest of them.

those suggesting deliverance, that will not work with me, cos I hate being superstitious!

I will rather be practical dan blaming d spirits!

Very simple, join him in his game if he thinks he can destroy try doing so, then secretly takes his attention to other things That can puzzle him and add to his academics. but don't hit him if not his body will become use to it that it will mean nothing to him

L

pattybf:
it has come to the point I have to voice out. my 4yrs old son has become so sturbbon I find it difficult to handle him.

this boy doesn't listen to any scolding or threatening. I have used every way possible to talk to him to no avail. before I used to pet him, but I saw he wasn't responding well to dat. now I have to shout, threaten n beat him but d case is still the same.

u can't see him sit at a place for a moment, he is either climbing, destroying or pulling down something. I have even stopped helping him wt his homework as he will never pay attention, I have told his teacher to let him do them in class.

eating time is d same, he takes a spoon n run around n will never eat half of his food.

I am now almost d enemy of almost every mother in d compound bc of him, each time he's out playing wt other kids, it must result to fight n I have to defend him! even his younger bother is not safe around him.

I must always let him have his way, otherwise he will cry and scream all day until I get tired n let it go.

he leaves n comes back from school by school bus by 6am n comes back 6to 7pm, I was thinking of changing his school next session, since all my complains to d school hasn't changed anything, cos I think d time is too long for him. but the truth is that those hrs r my only peaceful times.

I love him a lot but the tot of his behaviour makes me very angry.

pls mothers n counsellors, who can advice me on how to tame this boy!

You don't have to defend him when he is wrong or when he started the fight. You are enabling his bad behavior by doing that , if my child starts a fight or is mean to another child, I will apologize to the parents and ask him to apologize to the child. Then I'll make sure I punish him in front of everyone. Boys especially hate to be disgraced in front of their peers , when my son was reported for bullying I told him I would come to his school and best him in front of everyone if he dared to do such again. You should have seen the turn around, this is a boy who doesn't care if you meet him in private but to disgrace him in school

The other thing is when he misbehaves take away privileges , take away toys , games or anything he loves for some days and if he doesn't apologize or does it again I'll give a treat to his sibling and leave him out . I don't beat again I just take things away and when you do well you get rewards. Many kids just become more stubborn with beating.

OP, only one person have mentioned diet.

Some children become hyper if given sweets or sugary food.

Monitor his intake of sugar, I noticed my daughter went crazy hyper in a restaurant after we gave her a soft drink, she was shouting throwing stuff , moving around non-stop.

Check the sugar content of his diet and try cutting it out.

pattybf:


I like ur points, very practical. playing games with my phone works for him but he usually deletes my apps!

I shall try d rest of them.

those suggesting deliverance, that will not work with me, cos I hate being superstitious!

I will rather be practical dan blaming d spirits!

Hello House. I like genbuharis point about diet. My son goes crazy too after having soft drink or to many sweets. Reduce his sugar, make him move a lot, and show him loads of love!!!! Being in nursery 12 hours a day is far too long. After say 6 hours my kids are very tired already. Please reduce his hours there. Make him help in the house like cleaning the table. Make him feel important to the family by appreciating his help!! He will feel good and try to be a good boy. Works with my son. I let him clean the stairs, he is 7 yrs. now, and he is happy helping me. Love is the way!!!

peacengine:
OP, I commend you for voicing out your difficulties in handing him, many of your kind will rather lie and say their kids are angels yet they display abnormal behavior. Your son is hyper-active, if you were abroad he would have been given behavioral therapy and may even be put on medication. You need to seek the help of a clinical psychologist. Please do not keep beating him, he needs help, it is not normal for a child to be constantly active the way you described him.

It's perfectly normal,my four year old daughter was like this too...but she's calmer now,they're just acting their age.

OP don't worry you will be fine keep trying

I typed too many stories but it was said in one way or the other in previous comments

While scolding your child, try to always involve positive words, they do help...

Junior, you are a very good boy but I wonder why you had to fight, that's a bad behavior. for that reason no bobo to school tomorrow..
Remind him the next day and don't include the bobo, replace bobo with a big hug and kiss...

Modified

nothing is wrong with your son. my daughter wil be 2yrs next month, shes playful, cries at any little thing, fights me, slaps me, pinches me just name it but shes too smart for her age.... she beats kids older than her according to reports from her teacher. people usually say she was meant to be a boy. i always spank hef when shes wrong but she avenges and we end up fighting. her father has attested to been like that as a kid so im not worried. check ur background and hubbys, he may have gotten the behaviour bfrom one of you.

Vivly:
Sugar is the problem. Reduce his intake of it. Feed him only Vegetables and Fruits and see the quiet baby that is your child.

This worked a little for my child. I reduced sugar intake, diluted my child's juices and reduced the frequency of intake.
I noticed a bit of improvement.
Pray for your child regularly too

pattybf:


he is in nursery one now.
he attended daycare from age one.
I always see him sitting down quite each time I visit his class, I don't know if dat means care from d teacher or fear.
I haven't seen any therapist.

this is exactly how my 2yrs + nephew is..he is hyperactive.But in the aspect of eating, i make sure i sit down with a cain beside him..he will obey becos he fears cain alot..that is how he started eating on his own without my presence,becos he now understand food must be eaten while seating and not jumping around.

uboma:



Oh poor little boy.
He has never really enjoyed his childhood with his parents since he clocked 1 year old.
Do you work for the state government or do you have your personal business? I ask this because, if you are into your personal business, why not consider relocating to where your husband is currently and try re-establish your business there?
I want a situation whereby your son can close early from school, get back home, do his homework and take a nap. And also for him to grow in a home where his mum and dad are present to provide care and support for him.
Please try to make your husband see reasons why he needs to be around for the sake of the children's overall development.
If this option is not feasible, do you have a younger sister or a trusted relative who can assist to pick up your son from school and take him home? I really dont like the idea of stretching a child for 12 hours daily.
Nothing is wrong with your child. He only craves for more attention and love from his mum and dad.

ur points r noted! thanks

pattybf:

ur points r noted! thanks

You are welcome.

diamondc:
Nothing is wrong with the boy and he doesn't need any diagnosis, he is only doing his age.

Op- this poster is very correct. Have you ever heard of "Destructive three"? Most children between the age range of 3-5 tend to be destructive...they get curious about their environment, and the also lack concentration on a particular task, as they have n average concentration time lenght of 15secs.
You ever heard of this funny quote "Silence is golden, but it becomes suspicious when it involves a toddler"? Your boy is PERFECTLY okay, he is acting his age (some of you ladies also get worried when your children aren't doing somethings expected of their age: walking, crawling, talking, etc). The main task comes to you...you should not leave your son unattended to...He should be under a capable person's supervision at all times. Since we have also identified your son to be full of energy, try to channel his energy towards something productive. I will suggest drawing. Get him a big book, and give him a crayon. Hold his hands with the crayon, and move his hand in a particular direction /gesture for some time. Repeat it for some time too, and leave him alone (it works for my niece and my nephew when they were about this age). You'll be amazed at how occupied he'll be. The only time "war" will start is, after the drawing page has been exhausted.
Also, I'll advice you start teaching your son your mother tongue. Research has it that children can learn about 7 different languages effectively.
You can also get him "lego". It will really keep him occupied. He can also make designs and then scatter them, to rebuild new ones(i remember doing this during my time. Even my mum dared not scatter any design I made with my lego, even if I constructed it inbetween a door post. If fan blew it and scattered it, she'll just "jeje"-ly rearrange it for me before I discovered, else na war be sat o). How all we advised on this thread helps. Please update us about his improvement
Pardon my typo-errors, if any