Not FUNNY. Men self. To all men, including myself, you'd better have your fill of all the kind of woman you want is you must, when you get married, stay FAITHFUL.

BACK TO TOPIC.

You said they are asking him out. You never mentioned he has started seeing any of them. Lets say he has, now do this... Be the best wife you have always been, initiate intimacy at any time, when he isn't around you, always text him to tell him how much you love him. Take him out and spend on him. Just be too wonderful.

There are indirect ways of speaking to someone's conscience without direct confrontation. In one of those outing, talk to him. Appeal to his conscience. Something in me tells me he will change (that's if he already has something going on with them).

Above all, Go to God in prayer. A God fearing man would hardly cheat.

I don't understand, you saw messages of women asking him out, does that make him guilty or was he encouraging them or what?


And since when can't people talk to their partners about these kinds of things?

Let's reason.... what exactly has your husband done that can make the marriage begin to fall apart?....what exactly have you done that can make the marriage begin to fall apart? Ladies would always ...always try to get at your husband and there is nothing you can do to stop them... even if you carve M a r r I e d on his forehead. They asking him out and all that should not worry you.... what should worry you is if agrees to go on dates with them. No such thing according to your write up... so why the drama? Not talking to him or being rude and all that is fine by you... but is it fine with him ?...did you for a moment consider what he may be making of all this? No reaction by him so you have no clue.... what if he is beginning to suspect you may be seeing somebody on the side?...lots of women do that in such cases. Suspicion has turned to conclusion and conclusion has lead to reactions.... you're at war with him and he has no clue. I suggest you apologise for your tantrums before telling him the unreasonable reason. Hmmm....first pot hole on the road of marriage and her mind start scatta.

Saddenedsoul:
I've tried something crazy before, don't want to compound my problems. The fact that he keeps his calm just further drives me crazy

Babe,don't allow some pple to land u into trouble.
I can see/read diff comments here,
Meanwhile,dey can't give dia blood sister such
You re on ur own if u listen to dem.
Talk to ur hubby and let him c reasons y he shud STP it

Neverquit:
Locking ones phone after getting married is wrong. One shouldn't keep secrets from ones spouse.

Two becomes one? Right? Locking or unlocking ones phone should NOT even be an issue.

This is where every woman begins to get it wrong. The fact that a man is married to a woman doesn't mean certain things aren't sacrosanct. It may be his relationship with his mum or with his phone. I lock my phone and haven't got a problem with my lady going through it. She however must seek AND obtain my consent to do so

Originalsly:
Let's reason.... what exactly has your husband done that can make the marriage begin to fall apart?....what exactly have you done that can make the marriage begin to fall apart? Ladies would always ...always try to get at your husband and there is nothing you can do to stop them... even if you carve M a r r I e d on his forehead. They asking him out and all that should not worry you.... what should worry you is if agrees to go on dates with them. No such thing according to your write up... so why the drama? Not talking to him or being rude and all that is fine by you... but is it fine with him ?...did you for a moment consider what he may be making of all this? No reaction by him so you have no clue.... what if he is beginning to suspect you may be seeing somebody on the side?...lots of women do that in such cases. Suspicion has turned to conclusion and conclusion has lead to reactions.... you're at war with him and he has no clue. I suggest you apologise for your tantrums before telling him the unreasonable reason. Hmmm....first pot hole on the road of marriage and her mind start scatta.

thanks

Saddenedsoul:
undecided.. and smiley responses

You had better COMMUNICATE i.e. discuss with him before he changes from undecided to decided yes.
Best wishes.

byvan03:
Why some couples torment their marriages with these worthless chats from the opposite gender is what I don't get. Well, lack of respect for their union I guess.

Ehen. My point exactly. Why do married people even let it get to that extent? You know these people. They are not related to you in any way. You know what they want. Don't even let them get close to the point of asking you out. The block button is there for a reason.

anonimi:


You had better COMMUNICATE i.e. discuss with him before he changes from undecided to decided yes.
Best wishes.

okay, I'll try

byvan03:
Lack of communication is the surest way to ruin any marriage. Sit your husband down and communicate. Learn how to discuss your fears because you can only mess things up with your new unfriendly disposition. Go have a chat with your man.

100 % wright... Hello dear, it happens to me too before i got married as a husband to be, but what i did was that i told my babe immediately and she got angry.

One day that lady called me on phone @ night...... my babe talked to her with mature mind and everything gone..

Op, telling us will not help you. Talk to your husband. Only him can

Saddenedsoul:
Sorry, to bother you all , but I just had to get this off my chest. I recently got married, just little over a year ago. I have had no reason not to trust my husband, in fact I could trust him with my life. My problem started last week when I borrowed his laptop to complete some office work. I found his WhatsApp web was logged in, so out of curiosity, I decided to take a peek. What I found what worrying, I saw lots of messages from women who were literally asking my husband out, planning dates and meet up venues, even when they are all well aware that he is married. Since then I have been paranoid, every word from his mouth becomes suspicious, I get angry at him for no reason; I don't know wether to confront him, because I feel like he's just going to lie to me, I'm very confused , somebody help me.

Hi there! I will advice you seek advice from a more matured fellow than relying on the advice of 90% singles on nairaland. You can talk to your pastor about it, your parents or a more mature couples with not more than 10years marriage experience or less. Seeking advice from here will further harm your relationship. Take a nap and check the topic of most people giving advice and you will find things like "7 reason why sex before marriage is fun...."etc will such categories of people give you a better advice?

Lol....some people sha...everybody don turn marriage counselor.

I bet the husband too will soon come and open the same thread "help,how do I stop men from asking my wife out on whatsapp".

They are asking him out, he's not the one doing the asking and somehow,I see some people blaming him and calling him a cheat already..The OP didn't say he went on dates...she said, women are asking him out...HOW IS IT HIS FAULT?!... even if she talks to him about it,will it stop the said women from asking him out?!...does the Op want to tell us now that she doesn't have guys who are asking her out too on whatsapp?....

Mchew, she never ready......women are their own worst enemies.

Saddenedsoul:
Not at all, I was the extrovert in the relationship, so I had my way with him.

u've said it all he is a nerd n u AV ur way around him then, my dear he is definitely paying u back

byvan03:
Lack of communication is the surest way to ruin any marriage. Sit your husband down and communicate. Learn how to discuss your fears because you can only mess things up with your new unfriendly disposition. Go have a chat with your man.

Unfortunately women just don't know that communication is a very powerful tool, whatever it is you have found out, please go ask him, trust me it will be helpful. God bless your union.

kinibigdeal:


Hi there! I will advice you seek advice from a more matured fellow than relying on the advice of 90% singles on nairaland. You can talk to your pastor about it, your parents or a more mature couples with not more than 10years marriage experience or less. Seeking advice from here will further harm your relationship. Take a nap and check the topic of most people giving advice and you will find things like "7 reason why sex before marriage is fun...."etc will such categories of people give you a better advice?

He stopped attending church all together of recent... His family and I aren't do close.

kinibigdeal:


Hi there! I will advice you seek advice from a more matured fellow than relying on the advice of 90% singles on nairaland. You can talk to your pastor about it, your parents or a more mature couples with not more than 10years marriage experience or less. Seeking advice from here will further harm your relationship. Take a nap and check the topic of most people giving advice and you will find things like "7 reason why sex before marriage is fun...."etc will such categories of people give you a better advice?

i agree wth u

1kinggy:
I believe if he goes through you messages, he's find offensive/suspicious things too.

Talk to him about it, and don't forget to apologize for reading his private chats, yes. APOLOGIZE.

Apologise for wetin? I am not sure you are married because if you are, you won't give that kind of advice. Does he apologise for going through her private part? So if he can go through there without apology why does she have to apologise for going through his chat. So chats has become privates to married couples. Nuffin where person no go see for this marriage.

byvan03:




Wow!! Only you can tell for sure what went wrong here. Just try talking without the tantrums.

You are definitely right. She was the extrovert and he was the smart boy, not social, book worm who did well in school. She had her way with him.
He was probably not noticed in school by other girls because he wasn't social.

Now he has a good job and women are suddenly noticing him.

Since she had her way with him, she is probably neglecting to pay attention to him and massage his ego; which by the way every man likes. Unfortunately other women are doing that to him and he is enjoying their attention.

OP my word of advise : men are like babies, they enjoy attention. They like to be made to feel important. The fact that long term girl friends don't realize this, especially when levels change after graduation is the reason why many university relationships that end in marriages fell.

Shine your eyes. Your man has "grown", other women are looking at him. Change your tactics. Treat him like Prince Charming, that's what they are doing that you are not doing. I bet this guy loves you, but you have to move fast before you loose him. He is no longer your book worm with no social life. Other chics have brought social life to his foot step, beat them in their game.

Good luck

Iykon1313:


Y did u go checking what is not ur ish? Now u got urself into sadness and mistrust. Ur husband who doesn't even know anything. Anyway, don't confront him but playfully tell him about it cos confronting will be an allegation. Next time try and mind ur ish.

While I understand privacy, I also understand curiosity.

Her husband's business is actually hers as well.

mylove4him:

Apologise for wetin? I am not sure you are married because if you are, you won't give that kind of advice. Does he apologise for going through her private part? So if he can go through there without apology why does she have to apologise for going through his chat. So chats has become privates to married couples. Nuffin where person no go see for this marriage.

He does that with the consent of the wife, it is very possible for a husband to rape his wife. If a man goes through his wife private part without her consent, it is not out of place to apologise.

Hmmmm...My advice,stop panicking cos these things happen everywhere..Your man is not leaving you for another woman..So relax..He married you for a reason

Take him out on a date and tell him your findings..Tell him that you trust him with ur life but he stands a chance of loosing it and will never get it back if he does...He will thread carefully

Watch "WAR ROOM" u will know exactly what to do

Saddenedsoul:
Sorry, to bother you all , but I just had to get this off my chest. I recently got married, just little over a year ago. I have had no reason not to trust my husband, in fact I could trust him with my life. My problem started last week when I borrowed his laptop to complete some office work. I found his WhatsApp web was logged in, so out of curiosity, I decided to take a peek. What I found what worrying, I saw lots of messages from women who were literally asking my husband out, planning dates and meet up venues, even when they are all well aware that he is married. Since then I have been paranoid, every word from his mouth becomes suspicious, I get angry at him for no reason; I don't know wether to confront him, because I feel like he's just going to lie to me, I'm very confused , somebody help me.

Just ignore the fact that you saw anything and enjoy your marriage.

1.Be confident of yourself
2.

Spirit1:



You are definitely right. She was the extrovert and he was the smart boy, not social, book worm who did well in school. She had her way with him.
He was probably not noticed in school by other girls because he wasn't social.

Now he has a good job and women are suddenly noticing him.

Since she had her way with him, she is probably neglecting to pay attention to him and massage his ego; which by the way every man likes. Unfortunately other women are doing that to him and he is enjoying their attention.

OP my word of advise : men are like babies, they enjoy attention. They like to be made to feel important. The fact that long term girl friends don't realize this, especially when levels change after graduation is the reason why many university relationships that end in marriages fell.

Shine your eyes. Your man has "grown", other women are looking at him. Change your tactics. Treat him like Prince Charming, that's what they are doing that you are not doing. I bet this guy loves you, but you have to move fast before you loose him. He is no longer your book worm with no social life. Other chics have brought social life to his foot step, beat them in their game.

Good luck

I have actually seen men complaining about the level of attention their girlfriends / wives give them. And one of the reasons why they were cheating was the thrill of not knowing if they can get another girl to give them attention and something else too.

manie:




He does that with the consent of the wife, it is very possible for a husband to rape his wife. If a man goes through his wife private part without her consent, it is not out of place to apologise.

Yes it is possible for a husband to molest his wife. Chats in marriage aren't privates so also private parts. The bible says two shall become one. So what belongs to him belongs to her. No apology is needed if a man touches his wife phone and vice versa

The best of a man is shown if a woman totally submit to him.
(Especially his wife)
firstly, submit to him
secondly, cook him his best food
lastly, right on d dining toast him, communicate with him, tell him what you saw nd probe him...... Think that's all.......

Mindfulness:


I have actually seen men complaining about the level of attention their girlfriends / wives give them. And one of the reasons why they were cheating was the thrill of not knowing if they can get another girl to give them attention and something else too.

I don't understand some people and this types of generalisation for real.

It is even more commonly believed that, the less attention you give a man, the more he wants you.

Saddenedsoul:
Sorry, to bother you all , but I just had to get this off my chest. I recently got married, just little over a year ago. I have had no reason not to trust my husband, in fact I could trust him with my life. My problem started last week when I borrowed his laptop to complete some office work. I found his WhatsApp web was logged in, so out of curiosity, I decided to take a peek. What I found what worrying, I saw lots of messages from women who were literally asking my husband out, planning dates and meet up venues, even when they are all well aware that he is married. Since then I have been paranoid, every word from his mouth becomes suspicious, I get angry at him for no reason; I don't know wether to confront him, because I feel like he's just going to lie to me, I'm very confused , somebody help me.

Ofcourse call his attention to it.

Apologize for checking his facebook page and let him understand that you know that he has no ulterior motive with them cos if he does,he will never give you his laptop .Then advice him to be careful of silly ladies out there in a romantic and very humble way then forget you ever saw anything of such and continue in your marital bliss.


This thread of mine should help you...https://www.nairaland.com/2586023/no-woman-snatch-man-these

Toks2008:

Just ignore the fact that you saw anything and enjoy your marriage.
1.Be confident of yourself 2.

Thanks

Saddenedsoul:

He stopped attending church all together of recent... His family and I aren't do close.

"He stop attending church"! well, that aren't the problem here, the problem now is about your said connection with his family. The issue in discuss aside, every relationship get better if there are interconnection between families. You've got to reestablish your connection with his family and he also have to do otherwise with yours to balance any attitudinal inconsistency in marriage