I'm a black American female and 2 months ago I met a older good looking Nigerian guy who claim to be so into me. I felt the chemistry myself even tho I didn't want to bcuz he is married. I'm separated from my husband as well so after talking to him I found out he and his wife didn't live together but traveled to America together. We spent a little time together going out on two dates that ended with us kissing and staring at each other. I'm not ready for sex and he agreed that we wouldn't. He texts me and we video chat daily but something in me just don't feel comfortable I feel like I don't know him he works a lot but he finds time to text me but I feel like it's something up. I stopped talking to him for 3 weeks but I can't stop thinking about him so I started back texting him he told me he loves me and I feel like I love him too but I realized I'm not happy with our telephone arrangement I feel like a outsider to him he asks about my day sometimes and wants me to tell him my problems but I'm not like that but being like that leaves me neglected. Is he playing with my emotions? He doesn't text me in the morning or goodnight so I feel like I'm just a afterthought. I'm interested in astrology and bcuz he is a capricorn it's in nature to be like this and bcuz I'm a scorpio it's driving me crazy a Lil bit it's exhausting but I try to go on about my day and just know he will get in touch with me when he has time but I feel so disconnected from him. Should I break it off? Is he showing me he doesn't value our relationship?

I would have said you should give him some more time, I should have said he has good plans for you, I should have told you things may work out between you guys.... But I would have said all that if only 'he wasn't married' . Never date a married man, its not worth it!

The guy just blive in one thing and that's MONEY FIRST.. . that's just the only reason he's always busy

Yeah that's why I stopped talking to him for 3 weeks but it's crazy that I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time I don't meet men at all I met him at work bcuz that's where I spend most of my time. He is perfect for in spite of the phone issues bcuz in person he is attentive being married for 6 years I now understand the importance of compatibility love is simply not enough to sustain a relationship. He is my dream man. I never asked him about him divorcing his wife but he makes references about our future saying things like who know what may happen and if I "fight" hard enough I could win him lol idk it's crazy

jaxmanreal:
The guy just blive in one thing and that's MONEY FIRST.. . that's just the only reason he's always busy

I do feel like that so I try not to complain but it's very irratitaing that he is so busy. I'm very busy too and hate the fact we can't talk when I need to talk

The first to comment just said what i had in mind. He is married, there is no guarantee he wont leave you for another person if he should leave his wife for you. Tell him to forget about you.

The married man never even enter and you dey behave like this, if him enter you go cry say him don dupe you because him go back to him wife.... Just cut off from him and allow him to have more time for his wife and maybe kids if he has any

IRserveMyComent:
The first to comment just said what i had in mind. He is married, there is no guarantee he wont leave you for another person if he should leave his wife for you. Tell him to forget about you.

I tried to leave him alone but he insist on being friends and no sex but it's hard for me and as crazy as it sounds I don't take him as a player I see his struggle he works hard and I sometimes feel he is neglected he goes home alone it's pretty sad to me he looks at his kid as a money drain like the woman he is married to uses them to as a pawn he said he is tired of the drama with his wife they no longer live together he is always with friends or work then back home i wish it was that simple to leave him I tried

Op. Leave d man alone. Erase his thoughts from your head. He is a married man. Allow his family to enjoy the little spare time he has.

Your own man is somewhere in the waiting. Be patient, u will meet him.

modelmike7:
I would have said you should give him some more time, I should have said he has good plans for you, I should have told you things may work out between you guys.... But I would have said all that if only 'he wasn't married' . Never date a married man, its not worth it!

U nailed it.....

Abprettyneat:
I never asked him about him divorcing his wife but he makes references about our future saying things like who know what may happen and if I "fight" hard enough I could win him lol idk it's crazy

....... Interesting, and it never crossed your mind 'if another woman' fight hard enough in the nearest future , she could win him from you also? Think about this lady!

mimzy:
Op. Leave d man alone. Erase his thoughts from your head. He is a married man. Allow his family to enjoy the little spare time he has.

Your own man is somewhere in the waiting. Be patient, u will meet him.

I don't prevent him from seeing his family did you actually read my post he pursued ME and still is. I live in America he's in Nigeria I don't have any control over his actions if I did I wouldn't be writing this post

modelmike7:
....... Interesting, and it never crossed your mind 'if another woman' fight hard enough in the nearest future , she could win him from you also? Think about this lady!

I never lost a man to another woman and never plan too.

I'm not trying to be insensitive but it's a shame a woman left this man alone by himself if he was mine i would have my eyes on him at all times. He seems like a simple man. I'm a very suspicious person and wasn't born yesterday what type of woman just packs up and leaves her man? It's crazy when I think about it but I can't build happiness off of other misery so for now we are friends no sex just casual conversation

SmellingAnus:
The married man never even enter and you dey behave like this, if him enter you go cry say him don dupe you because him go back to him wife.... Just cut off from him and allow him to have more time for his wife and maybe kids if he has any

How am I preventing him from seeing or talking to his kids. This separation didn't start bcuz of me I met him separated I may never let him "enter" me. And do nigerian men claim to be in love only to get sex wouldn't that be too risky considering "he may go back to his wife"

Abprettyneat:



I never lost a man to another woman and never plan too.

..... Did your first hubby just left the house or you simply threw him out ? Let's agree it wasn't some other woman!

Abprettyneat:



I don't prevent him from seeing his family did you actually read my post he pursued ME and still is. I live in America he's in Nigeria I don't have any control over his actions if I did I wouldn't be writing this post

I said you should leave him alone cos you said in your write up that you stopped talking to him for several weeks and then u started texting him back.

See I believe u know what's fair and what's not. If u really wanna cut ties completely with this man. U know just what to do. And he will never be able to reach you again.

But in the end.. after all said n done, we can only but proffer advise , the final decision lies in your hands.

modelmike7:
..... Did your first hubby just left the house or you simply threw him out ? Let's agree it wasn't some other woman!

My statement is plain as day read between the lines Okay what's understood never has to be explained.

Abprettyneat:
I'm not trying to be insensitive but it's a shame a woman left this man alone by himself if he was mine i would have my eyes on him at all times.

...... You only talking based on what he told you, you don't know the true position of things between him and his wife. Well, make your choice lady. All the very best.

Abprettyneat:


My statement is plain as day read between the lines Okay what's understood never has to be explained.

..... Issorite madam!

[quote author=Abprettyneat post=46552884]I'm a black American female and 2 months ago I met a older good looking Nigerian guy who claim to be so into me. I felt the chemistry myself even tho I didn't want to bcuz he is married. I'm separated from my husband as well so after talking to him I found out he and his wife didn't live together but traveled to America together. We spent a little time together going out on two dates that ended with us kissing and staring at each other. I'm not ready for sex and he agreed that we wouldn't. He texts me and we video chat daily but something in me just don't feel comfortable I feel like I don't know him he works a lot but he finds time to text me but I feel like it's something up. I stopped talking to him for 3 weeks but I can't stop thinking about him so I started back texting him he told me he loves me and I feel like I love him too but I realized I'm not happy with our telephone arrangement I feel like a outsider to him he asks about my day sometimes and wants me to tell him my problems but I'm not like that but being like that leaves me neglected. Is he playing with my emotions? He doesn't text me in the morning or goodnight so I feel like I'm just a afterthought. I'm interested in astrology and bcuz he is a capricorn it's in nature to be like this and bcuz I'm a scorpio it's driving me crazy a Lil bit it's exhausting but I try to go on about my day and just know he will get in touch with me when he has time but I feel so disconnected from him. Should I break it off? Is he showing me he doesn't value our relationship? [/quot]

that feeling u hv shud be take'n seriously n I think u shud give d relationship time to unfold,some married men r perfect liars. 2 things r involved here is either his is truly busy wit work or his busy trying 2make d marriage work(or 4 d benefit of d doubt he is busy wit d divorce process). Tread wit caution.

SANDOSKI:


U nailed it.....

...... Great minds think alike !

Abprettyneat:



I tried to leave him alone but he insist on being friends and no sex but it's hard for me and as crazy as it sounds I don't take him as a player I see his struggle he works hard and I sometimes feel he is neglected he goes home alone it's pretty sad to me he looks at his kid as a money drain like the woman he is married to uses them to as a pawn he said he is tired of the drama with his wife they no longer live together he is always with friends or work then back home i wish it was that simple to leave him I tried

That is the more reason you should try and detach yourself from him now before you get hurt.. From all indications you have developed feelings for him. Every one has issues in their marriages, as hard as it may be for you, encourage him to resolve his issues with his wife. Make him understand his children are his responsibilities no matter how his wife behaves about it. Then and then have you become a good friend to him. There is no quaranty he might not leave you tomorow for another person when you guys have issues if he should leave his wife for you. And they might resolve their issues at your back and you end up getting hurt because of how you feel about him already.

Abprettyneat:

How am I preventing him from seeing or talking to his kids. This separation didn't start bcuz of me I met him separated I may never let him "enter" me. And do nigerian men claim to be in love only to get sex wouldn't that be too risky considering "he may go back to his wife"

You didn't mention in your post that the man is separated from his wife . This is what u said below op

Abprettyneat:


...I'm separated from my husband as well so after talking to him I found out he and his wife didn't live together but traveled to America together...

IRserveMyComent:
That is the more reason you should try and detach yourself from him now before you get hurt.. From all indications you have developed feelings for him. Every one has issues in their marriages, as hard as it may be for you, encourage him to resolve his issues with his wife. Make him understand his children are his responsibilities no matter how his wife behaves about it. Then and then have you become a good friend to him. There is no quaranty he might not leave you tomorow for another person when you guys have issues if he should leave his wife for you. And they might resolve their issues at your back and you end up getting hurt because how you feel about him already.

Op this is coming from a lady and she has said it all...

mimzy:


I said you should leave him alone cos you said in your write up that you stopped talking to him for several weeks and then u started texting him back.

See I believe u know what's fair and what's not. If u really wanna cut ties completely with this man. U know just what to do. And he will never be able to reach you again.

But in the end.. after all said n done, we can only but proffer advise , the final decision lies in your hands.

Yes it's in my hand but something is telling me not to leave him alone idk I usually wouldn't think twice but after being in a bad marriage I just realized things are never black and white. I stayed in my marriage bcuz of religious beliefs and my sense of duty so I feel some of the things he doesn't say it's draining he doesn't come off as a player I know players dated players it's just not the same. We barely talk now bcuz I stopped talking to him for 3 weeks it's only been 3 days since we started talking back and I feel guilty and irritated again I will get the the strength to leave him alone but can't help feeling like we were meant to meet i just don't give out my number

IRserveMyComent:
That is the more reason you should try and detach yourself from him now before you get hurt.. From all indications you have developed feelings for him. Every one has issues in their marriages, as hard as it may be for you, encourage him to resolve his issues with his wife. Make him understand his children are his responsibilities no matter how his wife behaves about it. Then and then have you become a good friend to him. There is no quaranty he might not leave you tomorow for another person when you guys have issues if he should leave his wife for you. And they might resolve their issues at your back and you end up getting hurt because how you feel about him already.

This is crazy he won't leave his wife for me bcuz he was already gone before I met him. I met him separated. Their separation has nothing to do with me. The situation worked for them and he is a older man I have no interest trying to explain his responsibilities to him they are in check he has it all together from what I hear he is the sole provider for them we don't talk about things like that he told me he will never disrespect her plus he is a man with pride to talk to him as a child is out of the question. I never attract irresponsible men anyway

Abprettyneat:



Yes it's in my hand but something is telling me not to leave him alone idk I usually wouldn't think twice but after being in a bad marriage I just realized things are never black and white. I stayed in my marriage bcuz of religious beliefs and my sense of duty so I feel some of the things he doesn't say it's draining he doesn't come off as a player I know players dated players it's just not the same. We barely talk now bcuz I stopped talking to him for 3 weeks it's only been 3 days since we started talking back and I feel guilty and irritated again I will get the the strength to leave him alone but can't help feeling like we were meant to meet i just don't give out my number

I do not know how old you are but permit me to refer to you as babe, see when a guy is looking for something, he will go extra miles to prove to u that he's a good guy.. that being said, this guy isn't even giving u the attention u really want . What does that tell u?

Believe me dear, u do not wana ply that route cos its never gonna end well. It's better for u to let him go now, hard as it might be, allow urself to heal. Do whatever makes u happy. Hang out . Do anything but just don't reach out to him. U will forget about him with time.

Yes it's not as easy as I have painted it. But for every time his thoughts pops up in ur head , give urself a hundred and one reasons u shouldn't go back to him cos u deserve better.

#MYHONESTOPINION

Abprettyneat:



This is crazy he won't leave his wife for me bcuz he was already gone before I met him. I met him separated. Their separation has nothing to do with me

My love reread my post i did not say their separation had anything to do with you. And there is a huge difference between separation and divorce. At least befor he can be with you legally he should have divorced his wife. That is what i meant when i said "leave his wife for you".

Abprettyneat:



but can't help feeling like we were meant to meet i just don't give out my number

.... Well, both of you can always be platonic friends, as long as you can be discipline about it. Be good.

mimzy:



I do not know how old you are but permit me to refer to you as babe, see when a guy is looking for something, he will go extra miles to prove to u that he's a good guy.. that being said, this guy isn't even giving u the attention u really want . What does that tell u?

Believe me dear, u do not wana ply that route cos its never gonna end well. It's better for u to let him go now, hard as it might be, allow urself to heal. Do whatever makes u happy. Hang out . Do anything but just don't reach out to him. U will forget about him with time.

Yes it's not as easy as I have painted it. But for every time his thoughts pops up in ur head , give urself a hundred and one reasons u shouldn't go back to him cos u deserve better.



#MYHONESTOPINION

I appreciate the honesty. I feel the exact same way but I'm going through it now he just said he love me our love feels so innocent it's not forced and I just think he is really busy and overworked he goes to work at 7am and will facetime me at 7pm and still be at work so that explains our phone issues. Then he has obligations to his friends and family he is such a strong man that's why I don't complain when he texts multiple times a day then stop, him finding the time is astonishing but he is married. I told him when he gets a divorce call me lol