₦airaland Forum

Hello,

I am getting married to an American citizen of Nigerian parent. I have a lot to benefit like becoming a citizen myself, leaving Nigeria for good, papers . The thing is i don't feel a thing for her. We were introduced to each other and am not feeling a thing. Is it a good idea to go into this and feign happiness for the rest of my life.

Your decision-Your choice.

okgerald:
Hello,

I am getting married to an American citizen of Nigerian parent. I have a lot to benefit like becoming a citizen myself, leaving Nigeria for good, papers . The thing is i don't feel a thing for her. We were introduced to each other and am not feeling a thing. Is it a good idea to go into this and feign happiness for the rest of my life.

I feel for you.
You're walking into trouble. You've got to understand that the value system women hold in the Us is entirely different from that of ladies obtainable here. Women from there are so empowered by law over the men. Though you'll be the husband,get ready to be thrown out of the house,to be arrested by the cops,etc if she you two have a misunderstanding.
I was besieged with such 'introductions' about ten years ago by aunties in the Us who had 'nice girls' over there they wanted me to meet and marry. First of all,their concept of 'nice girls' are way off the mark by our nigerian standards. For eg,you will run a profile on this 'nice girl' and you will find out that she has a boyfriend whom she spends weekends with,drinks(but occassionally),wears some tattoos in some hidden parts of her body,has smoked. You and I know that by our traditional value system,such doesn't fit the bill of a nice girl,talkless of my christian values.
I know some guys who got married under such arrangements. Today,they are either divorced over there(and the courts always will everything to the lady,leaving the guys to start afresh) or they are constantly being walked out of their own house by the cops because their wives called the cops on them. Some of them now call me to express their regrets and wish to even walk out of the marriage and return to Nigeria.
Most times,your interests are never the same but for the temptation to get 'papers',guys jump in. You should consider what you really want in a marriage.
Goodluck

P/s,there may still be ones whom you can strongly connect with and with good family values too

It depends on what you want in life. But don't marry her bcs of the benefits you are going to get if you don't love her.

Ur happiness in life should ur priority. How can u marry sm1 u didn't love cus of benefits? D choice is urs.Love, joy and happiness are important in marriage. D poster above me has said it all. Be wise.

Your happiness trumps anything else in life ... without happiness(satisfaction), you'll live miserably...

You can still migrate to the US someday through a more fulfilling means...

All the best...

That's a bomb ready to explode at anytime, I might be wrong sha, she might turn out to be the best thing in ur life.

eyeview:
I feel for you.
You're walking into trouble. You've got to understand that the value system women hold in the Us is entirely different from that of ladies obtainable here. Women from there are so empowered by law over the men. Though you'll be the husband,get ready to be thrown out of the house,to be arrested by the cops,etc if she you two have a misunderstanding.
I was besieged with such 'introductions' about ten years ago by aunties in the Us who had 'nice girls' over there they wanted me to meet and marry. First of all,their concept of 'nice girls' are way off the mark by our nigerian standards. For eg,you will run a profile on this 'nice girl' and you will find out that she has a boyfriend whom she spends weekends with,drinks(but occassionally),wears some tattoos in some hidden parts of her body,has smoked. You and I know that by our traditional value system,such doesn't fit the bill of a nice girl,talkless of my christian values.
I know some guys who got married under such arrangements. Today,they are either divorced over there(and the courts always will everything to the lady,leaving the guys to start afresh) or they are constantly being walked out of their own house by the cops because their wives called the cops on them. Some of them now call me to express their regrets and wish to even walk out of the marriage and return to Nigeria.
Most times,your interests are never the same but for the temptation to get 'papers',guys jump in. You should consider what you really want in a marriage.
Goodluck
P/s,there may still be ones whom you can strongly connect with and with good family values too

Just said my mind. Wise talk!

The love of green card is the root of all evil.

missvera:
It depends on what you want in life. But don't marry her bcs of the benefits you are going to get if you don't love her.

well... are you a nice girl?

Qualer:
well... are you a nice girl?

I can't say, it depends on your definition of who a nice girl is.

missvera:
I can't say, it depends on your definition of who a nice girl is.

i think you should be, you look like one... but then....

bros, some of us over here are victims of such scam, pls let it go, you can still(if need be out of naija)find a simple loveable true citizen to marry over there,but you should call it off, o, they are mostly trouble sir, you are gonna get in to big one, you will be tied by so many rules, and regulations, but if she is really cool headed... then you might be able to love her as the relationship progresses.but if na the regular BAR AND JOINT kinda person....(you know the dig),pls let her be.

Yea. Ignore the fact that guy is a user who's marrying someone he feels nothing for just to get papers and become a citizen himself.

If he gets there, cheats on her tomorrow and she files for a divorce, you'll claim you were right. But you conveniently forgot that it takes two people who really want to be together for the marriage to work.

eyeview:
I feel for you.
You're walking into trouble. You've got to understand that the value system women hold in the Us is entirely different from that of ladies obtainable here. Women from there are so empowered by law over the men. Though you'll be the husband,get ready to be thrown out of the house,to be arrested by the cops,etc if she you two have a misunderstanding.
I was besieged with such 'introductions' about ten years ago by aunties in the Us who had 'nice girls' over there they wanted me to meet and marry. First of all,their concept of 'nice girls' are way off the mark by our nigerian standards. For eg,you will run a profile on this 'nice girl' and you will find out that she has a boyfriend whom she spends weekends with,drinks(but occassionally),wears some tattoos in some hidden parts of her body,has smoked. You and I know that by our traditional value system,such doesn't fit the bill of a nice girl,talkless of my christian values.
I know some guys who got married under such arrangements. Today,they are either divorced over there(and the courts always will everything to the lady,leaving the guys to start afresh) or they are constantly being walked out of their own house by the cops because their wives called the cops on them. Some of them now call me to express their regrets and wish to even walk out of the marriage and return to Nigeria.
Most times,your interests are never the same but for the temptation to get 'papers',guys jump in. You should consider what you really want in a marriage.
Goodluck

P/s,there may still be ones whom you can strongly connect with and with good family values too

eyeview:
I feel for you.
You're walking into trouble. You've got to understand that the value system women hold in the Us is entirely different from that of ladies obtainable here. Women from there are so empowered by law over the men. Though you'll be the husband,get ready to be thrown out of the house,to be arrested by the cops,etc if she you two have a misunderstanding.
I was besieged with such 'introductions' about ten years ago by aunties in the Us who had 'nice girls' over there they wanted me to meet and marry. First of all,their concept of 'nice girls' are way off the mark by our nigerian standards. For eg,you will run a profile on this 'nice girl' and you will find out that she has a boyfriend whom she spends weekends with,drinks(but occassionally),wears some tattoos in some hidden parts of her body,has smoked. You and I know that by our traditional value system,such doesn't fit the bill of a nice girl,talkless of my christian values.
I know some guys who got married under such arrangements. Today,they are either divorced over there(and the courts always will everything to the lady,leaving the guys to start afresh) or they are constantly being walked out of their own house by the cops because their wives called the cops on them. Some of them now call me to express their regrets and wish to even walk out of the marriage and return to Nigeria.
Most times,your interests are never the same but for the temptation to get 'papers',guys jump in. You should consider what you really want in a marriage.
Goodluck

P/s,there may still be ones whom you can strongly connect with and with good family values too

Of course,

Because they are not inclined to fast and pray for cheating wives like the Naija sistas here, they are evil.

News flash: Women are beginning to wake up here and strangely, you did not condemn a man who wants to marry a woman for papers aka Paper/Gold digger.

@Bold: Nigerian girls in Nigeria don't do this?

It is well.

Don't mind him. He has nothing to say about his obviously greedy brother who wants to marry arrangee wife for his own benefit.

Instead what he saw was an opportunity to paint a group of women black. Mtchew.

bukatyne:
Of course,

Because they are not inclined to fast and pray for cheating wives like the Naija sistas here, they are evil.

News flash: Women are beginning to wake up here and strangely, you did not condemn a man who wants to marry a woman for papers aka Paper/Gold digger.

@Bold: Nigerian girls in Nigeria don't do this?

It is well.

cococandy:
Don't mind him. He has nothing to say about his obviously greedy brother who wants to marry arrangee wife for his own benefit.

Instead what he saw was an opportunity to paint a group of women black. Mtchew.

My sister, it is very tiresome.

Like you opined, women never seem to win for some people.

If this guy marries her and they have problems in future, it is still the wife ; If he even marries a saintly Naija woman in Nigeria and issues still surface, the saintly wife will become demonic!

How are you and family? I saw the peek of omomo and she is beautiful

Tell me about it.

We are good: thanks

bukatyne:
My sister, it is very tiresome.

Like you opined, women never seem to win for some people.

If this guy marries her and they have problems in future, it is still the wife ; If he even marries a saintly Naija woman in Nigeria and issues still surface, the saintly wife will become demonic!

How are you and family? I saw the peek of omomo and she is beautiful

okgerald:
Hello,

I am getting married to an American citizen of Nigerian parent. I have a lot to benefit like becoming a citizen myself, leaving Nigeria for good, papers . The thing is i don't feel a thing for her. We were introduced to each other and am not feeling a thing. Is it a good idea to go into this and feign happiness for the rest of my life.

You don't have something doing that brings you enough money, that's the only reason you're even contemplating this crap.

crackhaus:
You don't have something doing that brings you enough money, that's the only reason you're even contemplating this crap.

I earn a decent income. I am able to buy myself a decent car, rent a decent apartment, I have investment in treasury bill that also brings something to the table. It's not as if I am wretched. I know it's not enough money but not doing badly. This marriage is like a torture to me even though she has done nothing bad. No matter how she try to impress me with gifts I just don't feel that fire, that spark. Nothing at all.

I don't know what kind of trauma it will cause her if I end it right now cos she is crazy in love. She isn't just my type.

simple, give me her number and watch what happens .. u will be free..

okgerald:
I earn a decent income. I am able to buy myself a decent car, rent a decent apartment, I have investment in treasury bill that also brings something to the table. It's not as if I am wretched. I know it's not enough money but not doing badly. This marriage is like a torture to me even though she has done nothing bad. No matter how she try to impress me with gifts I just don't feel that fire, that spark. Nothing at all.

I don't know what kind of trauma it will cause her if I end it right now cos she is crazy in love. She isn't just my type.

sorry bro. give me her number,and you will be happy forever.. lol

Op, how far?

okgerald:
Hello,
I am getting married to an American citizen of Nigerian parent. I have a lot to benefit like becoming a citizen myself, leaving Nigeria for good, papers . The thing is i don't feel a thing for her. We were introduced to each other and am not feeling a thing. Is it a good idea to go into this and feign happiness for the rest of my life.

I wonder of the OP is still alive to tell us how it turned out for him.

OP how long have you both seriously been in a relationship, or you both were introduced by a mutual friend and you’re getting married already? Since you don’t feel a thing for her yet, slow down and get to know each other first… do your values align? Have you had difficult conversations about culture, lifestyle, marriage expectations, family and finances?

OP I am in a situation similar to yours, just that I live abroad now. I have a lot of options from these abroad girls to marry but they are not just my type .
Cultural compatibility is key in marriage, I have decided to travel back to find wife in Nigeria next year.

eyeview:
I feel for you.
You're walking into trouble. You've got to understand that the value system women hold in the Us is entirely different from that of ladies obtainable here. Women from there are so empowered by law over the men. Though you'll be the husband,get ready to be thrown out of the house,to be arrested by the cops,etc if she you two have a misunderstanding.
I was besieged with such 'introductions' about ten years ago by aunties in the Us who had 'nice girls' over there they wanted me to meet and marry. First of all,their concept of 'nice girls' are way off the mark by our nigerian standards. For eg,you will run a profile on this 'nice girl' and you will find out that she has a boyfriend whom she spends weekends with,drinks(but occassionally),wears some tattoos in some hidden parts of her body,has smoked. You and I know that by our traditional value system,such doesn't fit the bill of a nice girl,talkless of my christian values.
I know some guys who got married under such arrangements. Today,they are either divorced over there(and the courts always will everything to the lady,leaving the guys to start afresh) or they are constantly being walked out of their own house by the cops because their wives called the cops on them. Some of them now call me to express their regrets and wish to even walk out of the marriage and return to Nigeria.
Most times,your interests are never the same but for the temptation to get 'papers',guys jump in. You should consider what you really want in a marriage.
Goodluck

P/s,there may still be ones whom you can strongly connect with and with good family values too

You said it all

oldienavie:
OP I am in a situation similar to yours, just that I live abroad now. I have a lot of options from these abroad girls to marry but they are not just my type .
Cultural compatibility is key in marriage, I have decided to travel back to find wife in Nigeria next year.

Abroad is littered with so many of such former marriages that started out "culturally compatible" and ended up not so much.

What you call "Cultural compatibility" does not make a marriage. It only gives the illusion of one.

And using a woman for papers, not a marriage either.

@Op;

So upon all what you were told of this proposed marriage arrangement being a bad idea; you still went ahead and married the lady?

When the heat started in the marriage, you were complaining according to your post in this thread below?

https://www.nairaland.com/3940588/marry-grow-love-marry-person/5#64462006

Why would you even marry someone you don't like/love in the first place?

REALLY RIDICULOUS

TheeDetective:
@Op;

So upon all what you were told of this proposed marriage arrangement being a bad idea; you still went ahead and married the lady?

When the heat started in the marriage, you were complaining according to your post in this thread below?

https://www.nairaland.com/3940588/marry-grow-love-marry-person/5#64462006

Why would you even marry someone you don't like/love in the first place?

REALLY RIDICULOUS

Thank you for satisfying my curiosity.
You’re indeed a detective.

TheeDetective:
@Op;

So upon all what you were told of this proposed marriage arrangement being a bad idea; you still went ahead and married the lady?

When the heat started in the marriage, you were complaining according to your post in this thread below?

https://www.nairaland.com/3940588/marry-grow-love-marry-person/5#64462006

Why would you even marry someone you don't like/love in the first place?

REALLY RIDICULOUS

You searched the Op out.
ROFLMAO

okgerald:
I earn a decent income. I am able to buy myself a decent car, rent a decent apartment, I have investment in treasury bill that also brings something to the table. It's not as if I am wretched. I know it's not enough money but not doing badly. This marriage is like a torture to me even though she has done nothing bad. No matter how she try to impress me with gifts I just don't feel that fire, that spark. Nothing at all.

I don't know what kind of trauma it will cause her if I end it right now cos she is crazy in love. She isn't just my type.

Last last money and citizenship is not everything.

Enjoy your blissful marriage