₦airaland Forum

Shym3xx:
Lol. So, it happened in this section where you've got loads of bitter village pseudo-feminists and the poster is a guy. Perhaps he thinks you're one of the clowns in the this section. And he probably didn't mean that way.

Before I do anything, you've to tell me what actually happened. I'm too tired to start reading all the posts from the first page.

freecocoa:
For those people saying she was influenced and blah blah blah.

Y'all fail to realise that some people go into marriages with a mindset, that's exactly what seems to be the case here.

While in school, I've heard ladies talk about how they'll hide money from their hubby, do so so and so stuff to protect themselves, they even talk about women who they personally know involved in such and how they'll have nothing to lose in the end.

The OP's wife is overly well aware of what she did, like it's not people that plan murders on daily basis.

OP, if you like stay there and be forming one thing one thing, I just hope you don't write the next update from a coffin.

How you can even look at such a person, let alone eat from the same plate, days or so after this discovery beats me, actually makes me think this story is fake.

Wonder007:
women-- most wicked, yet the most gullible. i hope she is not the mastermind behind your lost testicle . Her sisters or friend could have adviced her to damage one of your testicle and how to do it for what reason they have, maybe to have upper hand in leaving you or cheating or use it to blackmail you .
tell your parent and let them listen to the recorded conversations, analyse their advice, but the final decision is yours to make, because being parents or older does not mean more wisdom. pray to God and he will guide you. If you are able, try to investigate if any of her sister's husband has same problem with their testicle . I must tell you if this woman have a slight suspicion that you have another woman, or that you plan to leave her, she will make move to destroy the other testicle, blackmail or arm you. but you need to act fast and and without her knowing, you are living with a deadly woman . [color=#990000]

AlienStar:
I can never advise you to divorce her esp since she is not infidel... This generation forgot that marriage must have it's ups & down, it ain't a bed of roses. And you should know that she knew her siblings b4 you (I'm ain't justifying her o, buh it's the reality) so it may be easy for them to manipulate her esp as she's the last born! So now copy does recordings to your phone (as proof) and ask her about it, tell that this is her home that she shouldn't allow her siblings to run it for her to avoid expensive mistake. I think you shouldn't invite a 3rd party and always pray together ("cause the family that prays together, stays 2geda".)

chronique:
It's funny how you're asking someone to reason with her head,wth all the dumb,fooliish advices you've been giving here. God forbd I have a brother or friend like you.

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

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vicchi12:
Like.... I feel so pitiful towards him. Like I'm very worried for him.

marvelous000:
[size=13pt]
Damn! woman, you're wise.

[/size]

glogirlie:
u haven't told us real ish here.. u have rily painted ur wife as d devil n u d saint and every1 is acting base on dat cos i cant see y ur wife n sister ll start to plan coup of there is not more to it.. my advise is to pray n seek God cos divorce is not an option cos of ur dota n dnt handle dis ish alone.. tell ur dad or mum d person u kñw can handle d ish well before involving oda members of dia family.....most important tin pray for guidance so u wont loose ur family

friendl:
It doesn't make sense ,what will she gain?

miky:
Divorce!!! There are more honest women around!! Take your so called daughter for a DNA test

vicchi12:
So his wife is a psychotic bitch, with a crazy family.

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

MrMcJay:
OP, keep her in your house very well you hear? Wetin dey worry u sef?
E dey do me like say make I use slap jump-start ur brain.

The day her sisters advise her to kill you, you are a dead man. Rat poison is very cheap, 3 for N50. You'll just start getting dry and die behind the fridge. Alternatively, when she disconnects the brake of your car and you dance under Dangote trailer, we'll read it here on NL.

By the way, tell your wife's sister's husbands o what their wives are up to. At least if you guys want to buy your coffins in bulk, it should be cheaper.

Even if you don't value your life, pity your mother and daughter and kick out that devil even if it's a temporary separation.

Flee from temptation... and don't leave a forwarding address.

Shym3xx:
Lol.

Anyway, I think you and the guy you have a tiff with need to sheathe ya swords and let the OP handle his business. I'll never understand why folks always feel the need to bring private issues to public sphere for advice. Only the OP and his partner understands what's wrong with their relationship and they're the only two who know what's best for them. They just need to put their egos and differences aside and have a heart to heart conversation. And if they can't find a solution - they can always seek professional help. That's the only third party that should be allowed to deliberate on private relationship matters between two people.

Most of the people who give advice on here don't know what they're talking about and they'll never apply the same advice to their own relationships. So, why even come here for advice? Some people are just stupid. I learnt that time ago and it's always better to deal with private issues privately.

Just stay away from topics like this one and focus on yourself. Nothing good comes out of these types of topics cos you've got tons of chics who can't even keep/get a man acting like they have all the answers; bitter women who have been hurt by different men giving advice based on their own bitter experience; and men who have been victims of crazy women trying to chip in as well. So, there will always be mudslinging from all sides. And if you don't wanna be caught in the crossfire - just stay away from these topics.

Iriruaga100:
Devguru, after reading ur update, i concluded that you are too good for ur wife. 90 percent of cases like this will end up as divorce. To me, i will feel little or no love n trust for her anymore. I wish u well sir.

vicchi12:
But cmon! I genuinely fear for his life. Like I am really concerned!

freecocoa:
For those people saying she was influenced and blah blah blah.

Y'all fail to realise that some people go into marriages with a mindset, that's exactly what seems to be the case here.

While in school, I've heard ladies talk about how they'll hide money from their hubby, do so so and so stuff to protect themselves, they even talk about women who they personally know involved in such and how they'll have nothing to lose in the end.

The OP's wife is overly well aware of what she did, like it's not people that plan murders on daily basis.

OP, if you like stay there and be forming one thing one thing, I just hope you don't write the next update from a coffin.

How you can even look at such a person, let alone eat from the same plate, days or so after this discovery beats me, actually makes me think this story is fake.

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

Shym3xx:
He's a grown arse man and if his life is at risk, he should know that himself and make his decision based on that. At the end of the day, folks will always sensationalise things to portray themselves as victims: that's the natural human instinct. However, that doesn't negate the fact that there are always three sides to every story and it's always better to deal with private issues privately. Two grown people can always have a conversation without the need to get all kinds of people involved.

That's my own opinion and how I deal with relationships.