₦airaland Forum

NothingLikeLove:
Hello fam, I need advice please. I met this man two yrs ago and we got married last year January. During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out. It's been one problem or the other. He nags a lot, he doesn't forgive even when I plead for forgiveness if I offend him. It was a month after our marriage, he started revealing shocking things about himself, how he was told by a doc that he can never father a child, tho it could be cured, and many others. I got tired of the marriage because of his ill attitude towards me plus these shocking revelation, but because my faith kicks against divorce except on the ground of adultery, I try all I can to save my marriage. He's very jealous to the extent that he suspects every call I receive. He feels I'm cheating on him because according to him, his previous experience made him not to trust any female.

There was a day he beat me because he was suspecting that the phone call I had was from a man, yet that day it was my mum who called, but because I was pissed by his distrust, I refused to tell him who I was talking with on phone. He even threatened to shoot me if he had a gun.

That apart, he refused to go for treatment to cure his impotency, despite the pressure I mount on him. He keeps blaming it on lack of fund, so I had to give him money, since I'm a salary earner, he used the money for something else instead.

To cut the story short, the last straw, was when he converted to a Muslim and has been pressuring me to do same. And this is highly against my religious belief and I will never do it. He's been threatening fire and brimstone since then. I reported all that has been going on to his people and then mine, so they can help us. He denied all. Even denied that he's impotent and that I never gave him money to go for cure.

I had to leave my matrimonial home because I was scared. Right now am considering filling for divorce, since his attitude is very bad, he cannot impregnate me and has refused to seek help, he cannot take care of my needs financially because of his poor status and worse off, has joined a faith I will never be part of no matter his pressure. I don't know if divorce is the right action to take or I should give him time to change. Am confused please.

Mods please put this on front page so many will see it.

Is that why ur moniker reads "nothinglikelove"?

As for religious aspect, pls don't ever convert to any other. This is your challenging moment and God implores us to be steadfast in a time like this. Hold unto God and the storm shall be over.

STFUareyouG0d:
Bros you didn't read the part op said "During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out."

It's not about not listening or consulting God before marriage. It's about being able to stand temptations. We've seen many men of God with marital problems that's led many of them to divorce. We are not infallible. We are humans

Men are dangerous. The can pretend for as long as possible just to get what they want.

From op's post, she sounds like someone who is closed to God and must have prayed over it before getting married to him. But now that things aren't working fine, are we gonna blame God?

It's true that you can't know everything about someone even while dating but if you seek God's face and you are smart enough,you will see the 'skeleton' of who that person is.Character is like smoke,there's just so much you can do to cover it up.You can't hang around me for long and I won't be able to tell to a great extent what you can do or not do.

Hiding an issue as serious as low sperm count is another big issue.

Dafuq did I just read Op abeg zomana, is the post about you or a third party?

There is nothing God can't do sis. firstly, I applaud u for running for ur life dats d smartest fin to do, secondly, there's no divorce in God's dictionary u've got to b determine to fight for ur marriage take his picture and go to MFM prayer city for deliverance... Tell God to change his hrt Ezekiel 36 v 26 and deliver him from every form of impotency, pray on ur marriage dat God should intervene and fight for u. I believe u shall laugh last sis, dnt give up. It's well.

OP I want to hear the other side of this issue, I mean your husband's side. Also how fertile are you? Have you been pregnant before you met this man?

this why i fvck my babes alot while we are dating so dat them go no say i b confirm man ..so no story when i mary u because i go use fvck tire u.......

thorpido:
It's true that you can know everything about a someone even while dating but if you seek God's face and you are smart enough,you will see the 'skeleton' of who that person is.Character is like smoke,there's just so much you can to to cover it up. You can hang around me for long and I won't be able to tell to a great extent what you can do or not do.

Hiding an issue as serious as. Low sperm count is another big issue.

I think I agree with you on this. There'll always be traces of the real him no matter how well he tries to hide the real him. But then, most of these ladies are too carried away by the prospect of getting married that they ignore signs. Most of them even go as low as believing a bad man will change after getting married. Funny

God help us chose right

Even if you meet a marriage councillor, the final decision is yours to make but being able to find answers to the following questions will help you arrive at convincing decision.
1. will I be able to live with his new found faith or join his new faith?
2. Will I be able live without a child of my own if he refuse to seek medical solution to his ailment?
3. Will I be able to endure his bad attitude the rest of my life if he refuses to change?

If your answers to this questions are positive-stay if not-log out.

I don't av time for long stories.divorce nd go ur way

NothingLikeLove:
Hello fam, I need advice please. I met this man two yrs ago and we got married last year January. During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out. It's been one problem or the other. He nags a lot, he doesn't forgive even when I plead for forgiveness if I offend him. It was a month after our marriage, he started revealing shocking things about himself, how he was told by a doc that he can never father a child, tho it could be cured, and many others. I got tired of the marriage because of his ill attitude towards me plus these shocking revelation, but because my faith kicks against divorce except on the ground of adultery, I try all I can to save my marriage. He's very jealous to the extent that he suspects every call I receive. He feels I'm cheating on him because according to him, his previous experience made him not to trust any female.

There was a day he beat me because he was suspecting that the phone call I had was from a man, yet that day it was my mum who called, but because I was pissed by his distrust, I refused to tell him who I was talking with on phone. He even threatened to shoot me if he had a gun.

That apart, he refused to go for treatment to cure his impotency, despite the pressure I mount on him. He keeps blaming it on lack of fund, so I had to give him money, since I'm a salary earner, he used the money for something else instead.

To cut the story short, the last straw, was when he converted to a Muslim and has been pressuring me to do same. And this is highly against my religious belief and I will never do it. He's been threatening fire and brimstone since then. I reported all that has been going on to his people and then mine, so they can help us. He denied all. Even denied that he's impotent and that I never gave him money to go for cure.

I had to leave my matrimonial home because I was scared. Right now am considering filling for divorce, since his attitude is very bad, he cannot impregnate me and has refused to seek help, he cannot take care of my needs financially because of his poor status and worse off, has joined a faith I will never be part of no matter his pressure. I don't know if divorce is the right action to take or I should give him time to change. Am confused please.

Mods please put this on front page so many will see it.

This is a one sided Story.

Op,you have started seeing someone else already

AngelAhnie:
Hahahaha...you guys started it all

Change yours lemme crush my you, my gf

done! Oya let the crushing start.

Make I do you shakara small as una dey carry us do shakara too

wailing:
This is a one sided Story.

Op,you have started seeing someone else already

and how did you arrive at that ridiculous conclusion??

My dear, I feel for you. I had an Aunty with similar story. She died in the marriage. I guess you did not date for a long time before entering into Marriage. I think you should pray on your own for God's directives. Retrospectively, it's better to quit than end up in the process. May God help you.

NothingLikeLove:
Hello fam, I need advice please. I met this man two yrs ago and we got married last year January. During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out. It's been one problem or the other. He nags a lot, he doesn't forgive even when I plead for forgiveness if I offend him. It was a month after our marriage, he started revealing shocking things about himself, how he was told by a doc that he can never father a child, tho it could be cured, and many others. I got tired of the marriage because of his ill attitude towards me plus these shocking revelation, but because my faith kicks against divorce except on the ground of adultery, I try all I can to save my marriage. He's very jealous to the extent that he suspects every call I receive. He feels I'm cheating on him because according to him, his previous experience made him not to trust any female.

There was a day he beat me because he was suspecting that the phone call I had was from a man, yet that day it was my mum who called, but because I was pissed by his distrust, I refused to tell him who I was talking with on phone. He even threatened to shoot me if he had a gun.

That apart, he refused to go for treatment to cure his impotency, despite the pressure I mount on him. He keeps blaming it on lack of fund, so I had to give him money, since I'm a salary earner, he used the money for something else instead.

To cut the story short, the last straw, was when he converted to a Muslim and has been pressuring me to do same. And this is highly against my religious belief and I will never do it. He's been threatening fire and brimstone since then. I reported all that has been going on to his people and then mine, so they can help us. He denied all. Even denied that he's impotent and that I never gave him money to go for cure.

I had to leave my matrimonial home because I was scared. Right now am considering filling for divorce, since his attitude is very bad, he cannot impregnate me and has refused to seek help, he cannot take care of my needs financially because of his poor status and worse off, has joined a faith I will never be part of no matter his pressure. I don't know if divorce is the right action to take or I should give him time to change. Am confused please.

Mods please put this on front page so many will see it.

first are a believer? am sorry madam I mean genuine born again christian oooo b4 I can give u right ans,tank u madam.

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NothingLikeLove:
Hello fam, I need advice please. I met this man two yrs ago and we got married last year January. During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out. It's been one problem or the other. He nags a lot, he doesn't forgive even when I plead for forgiveness if I offend him. It was a month after our marriage, he started revealing shocking things about himself, how he was told by a doc that he can never father a child, tho it could be cured, and many others. I got tired of the marriage because of his ill attitude towards me plus these shocking revelation, but because my faith kicks against divorce except on the ground of adultery, I try all I can to save my marriage. He's very jealous to the extent that he suspects every call I receive. He feels I'm cheating on him because according to him, his previous experience made him not to trust any female.

There was a day he beat me because he was suspecting that the phone call I had was from a man, yet that day it was my mum who called, but because I was pissed by his distrust, I refused to tell him who I was talking with on phone. He even threatened to shoot me if he had a gun.

That apart, he refused to go for treatment to cure his impotency, despite the pressure I mount on him. He keeps blaming it on lack of fund, so I had to give him money, since I'm a salary earner, he used the money for something else instead.

To cut the story short, the last straw, was when he converted to a Muslim and has been pressuring me to do same. And this is highly against my religious belief and I will never do it. He's been threatening fire and brimstone since then. I reported all that has been going on to his people and then mine, so they can help us. He denied all. Even denied that he's impotent and that I never gave him money to go for cure.

I had to leave my matrimonial home because I was scared. Right now am considering filling for divorce, since his attitude is very bad, he cannot impregnate me and has refused to seek help, he cannot take care of my needs financially because of his poor status and worse off, has joined a faith I will never be part of no matter his pressure. I don't know if divorce is the right action to take or I should give him time to change. Am confused please.

Mods please put this on front page so many will see it.

the earlier you leave this miserable Union the better for you. You're obviously married to a bully who will carry out his frustrations on you. He doesn't even attempt to solve your issues together. Better you leave now that it's early.

He can't impregnate you or seek for help,he's a liar and a very violent person;he always suspects you and has finally become a Muslim (boko haram).
If all you said about him is true,that means you were actually blind not to have noticed his character before saying "I do".

Meanwhile,if you try your best and he doesn't seem to change,divorce the nigger.Since you have no kids with him,you can still re marry and start a new life.

This man will never change.And going by his behaviors and his new faith;you are no more secured.If he doesnt kill you,he will harm you irreversibly,physically or spiritually.Therefore,ur action must be prompt and immediate.Run away from him and sued for divorce.Pls dont let him know ur movement or where u live.Deny him all acess;telephone, visit,envoy, message ,etc.Waste no more time.THE FIRE ON D MOUNTAIN IS TOO CONSPICUOUS. Never mind what people might say~its ur life !

Ishilove:
I don't understand. Is it that people don't seek to know the will of God again before marrying?

Obviously they don't but place God before their affairs but having said that the grounds for divorce are pretty light.

For starters there are countless couples who get married without knowing that either party is incapable of making babies. Even the menfolk who are traditionally hostile towards their partner's incapacity are turning around. These days we hear more and more stories of couples making babies after ten, twenty even thirty years of matrimony.

Same with the jealous thing. It happens in every relationship thoughtless of between couples. Give it five years and he will be fed up of your face. The two concerns are the potential for violence and religious angles because these are issues of pure passion. I suggest you exercise maximum restraint and wait for a set time of change as regarding the former and reach out to him in love concerning the latter.

I also have this feeling you are not giving enough to make this marraige work because all you have related here concerns what you want, what you desire and you cannot get. That is not the basis of the marraige institution or any relationship whatsoever. Even with God you will not get all you want thoughtless of man and you will surprised that no family has it all. It is with certainty that the man who you leave him for will have a deficiency.
And that is why most who divorce hardly ever stop at one incident and those who are polygamous hardly end with just two wives.

FlawlesRebirth02:
lalasticlala we know this is not abouh snake. but no worry I get snake pisshur

Bae yhu funny die

No brainer here


Divorce his behind


Muslim ke....... Abeg leave am....... Him no follow hat hall

NothingLikeLove:
Hello fam, I need advice please. I met this man two yrs ago and we got married last year January. During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out. It's been one problem or the other. He nags a lot, he doesn't forgive even when I plead for forgiveness if I offend him. It was a month after our marriage, he started revealing shocking things about himself, how he was told by a doc that he can never father a child, tho it could be cured, and many others. I got tired of the marriage because of his ill attitude towards me plus these shocking revelation, but because my faith kicks against divorce except on the ground of adultery, I try all I can to save my marriage. He's very jealous to the extent that he suspects every call I receive. He feels I'm cheating on him because according to him, his previous experience made him not to trust any female.

There was a day he beat me because he was suspecting that the phone call I had was from a man, yet that day it was my mum who called, but because I was pissed by his distrust, I refused to tell him who I was talking with on phone. He even threatened to shoot me if he had a gun.

That apart, he refused to go for treatment to cure his impotency, despite the pressure I mount on him. He keeps blaming it on lack of fund, so I had to give him money, since I'm a salary earner, he used the money for something else instead.

To cut the story short, the last straw, was when he converted to a Muslim and has been pressuring me to do same. And this is highly against my religious belief and I will never do it. He's been threatening fire and brimstone since then. I reported all that has been going on to his people and then mine, so they can help us. He denied all. Even denied that he's impotent and that I never gave him money to go for cure.

I had to leave my matrimonial home because I was scared. Right now am considering filling for divorce, since his attitude is very bad, he cannot impregnate me and has refused to seek help, he cannot take care of my needs financially because of his poor status and worse off, has joined a faith I will never be part of no matter his pressure. I don't know if divorce is the right action to take or I should give him time to change. Am confused please.

Mods please put this on front page so many will see it.

My sister, you must not compromise your faith, marriage or no marriage, I will advice that you seek the advice of your spiritual father or mother ( Pastor )

Sorry to dabble into your affairs is it that his sperm can not bring about pregnancy or he can not perform on bed at all. If it is the former you can't divorce him because it's God that gives pregnancy but it is the latter you can divorce him base on the fact that he deceived you it's allowed in Islam

My dear,prayer is the key,d master key that opens all doors,with God in your marriage all things are possible,he can change the stony heart of your husband,there is no more going back on how you got to where you are now,just pray and you will see what God will do.Goodluck

Gamusgamus:
My sister, you must not compromise your faith, marriage or no marriage, I will advice that you seek the advice of your spiritual father or mother ( Pastor )

He deceived you into marriage and you are still hanging on in the name of FAITH?

NothingLikeLove:
Hello fam, I need advice please. I met this man two yrs ago and we got married last year January. During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out. It's been one problem or the other. He nags a lot, he doesn't forgive even when I plead for forgiveness if I offend him. It was a month after our marriage, he started revealing shocking things about himself, how he was told by a doc that he can never father a child, tho it could be cured, and many others. I got tired of the marriage because of his ill attitude towards me plus these shocking revelation, but because my faith kicks against divorce except on the ground of adultery, I try all I can to save my marriage. He's very jealous to the extent that he suspects every call I receive. He feels I'm cheating on him because according to him, his previous experience made him not to trust any female.

There was a day he beat me because he was suspecting that the phone call I had was from a man, yet that day it was my mum who called, but because I was pissed by his distrust, I refused to tell him who I was talking with on phone. He even threatened to shoot me if he had a gun.

That apart, he refused to go for treatment to cure his impotency, despite the pressure I mount on him. He keeps blaming it on lack of fund, so I had to give him money, since I'm a salary earner, he used the money for something else instead.

To cut the story short, the last straw, was when he converted to a Muslim and has been pressuring me to do same. And this is highly against my religious belief and I will never do it. He's been threatening fire and brimstone since then. I reported all that has been going on to his people and then mine, so they can help us. He denied all. Even denied that he's impotent and that I never gave him money to go for cure.

I had to leave my matrimonial home because I was scared. Right now am considering filling for divorce, since his attitude is very bad, he cannot impregnate me and has refused to seek help, he cannot take care of my needs financially because of his poor status and worse off, has joined a faith I will never be part of no matter his pressure. I don't know if divorce is the right action to take or I should give him time to change. Am confused please.

Mods please put this on front page so many will see it.

Divorce isnt the solution remember at the altar you said for better for worse till death do apart. So you have to gain his trust by applying wisdom. Try to please your husband by doing those things he likes but not at the detriment of your belief. With this you easily convince him for impotency test if at all it exist because there might be something he's hidding from you that is yet to be revealed. Perhaps he might be watching to see how you will react if he drops the bombshell so you have to win him over to get to the root. There's nothing prayers can't do in this kind of situation

Filing for a divorce is best. A man who won't tell you his predicaments before marriage, who will beat you, who will refuse to get a cure for low sperm, who isn't interested in vin a child, who will deny your help n who will convert to islam. Run for your dear life. Its hard yes and nobody wants a broken marriage just after a year or two but its better you quit now.

NothingLikeLove:
Hello fam, I need advice please. I met this man two yrs ago and we got married last year January. During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out. It's been one problem or the other. He nags a lot, he doesn't forgive even when I plead for forgiveness if I offend him. It was a month after our marriage, he started revealing shocking things about himself, how he was told by a doc that he can never father a child, tho it could be cured, and many others. I got tired of the marriage because of his ill attitude towards me plus these shocking revelation, but because my faith kicks against divorce except on the ground of adultery, I try all I can to save my marriage. He's very jealous to the extent that he suspects every call I receive. He feels I'm cheating on him because according to him, his previous experience made him not to trust any female.

If your story is 100% true, you have to be careful with the next step you take. It's all about self preservation now, as your life may be in danger. Breaking up with an emotionally imbalanced person like that usually breed a level of violence, especially when he is financially dependent on you and is unable to father a child.

Physically removing yourself from that environment may be key, either separation or divorce (which ever rocks your boat). It's better you enjoy your life in peace and good health, single, than live in hell under the guise of one yeye marriage.

Finally, what ever you decide on doing, let it be your own decision, but personally, I would care about my life now than my marriage.

@ Op you sure you didn't see any of these traits before getting married? In all u do now ur life first my dear, when there is life there is hope. Make sure u are in a safe place then pray for wisdom, stay glued to the word of God and start/continue fulfilling ur God given purpose here on earth.

STFUareyouG0d:
Bros you didn't read the part op said "During our courtship, he portrayed himself in a good light. A week after our marriage, his true colors started coming out."

It's not about not listening or consulting God before marriage. It's about being able to stand temptations. We've seen many men of God with marital problems that's led many of them to divorce. We are not infallible. We are humans

Men are dangerous. The can pretend for as long as possible just to get what they want.

From op's post, she sounds like someone who is closed to God and must have prayed over it before getting married to him. But now that things aren't working fine, are we gonna blame God?

My dear, i still want you to believe she never heard anything from God, she was just being careless, carried away by her physical thing, and therefore assumed it was God... There is a kind of relationship you will have with your creator, that kind of man will never come your way...

Ishilove:
I don't understand. Is it that people don't seek to know the will of God again before marrying?

Even pastors have marital problems and some get divorced.
Marriage is a huge gamble.