₦airaland Forum

Babztemmy:
I have being married for 5years and sadly I still dont feel so close to my husband. I got the bible says when two come together they become one. That is that become friends, right? But sadly it doesn't feel like it. My hubby is the kind that likes FULL time respect; greet me when you wake up in the morning, great me when I come back from work, (yes wives please greet your hubbys oo) am heading somewhere with this please dont judge me yet, don't go out without telling me, don't put your hands in my pocket, what are you looking for, don't talk
while am talking (that is even understandable tho) many more I can't mention. Don't tap me on my shoulders of you want to talk to me, don't,don't,don't. He also isnt romantic, he hates me bin romantic around him, it gets him upset. Its bin 4years plus and we still argue ALOT. I thought they said the first 3years is the time of misunderstandings but its 4years now and still nothing has really changed. Sometimes i try to make him talk maybe am not doing something right, and he just always seems to find a fault. Either I don't have respect or I don't have respect or I don't obey him everything calls to respect. Well it's not like I don't respect him or I just wake up in the morning and start disrespecting him. No, it's always in the cause of an argument so while am trying to justify myself or win the case, the disrespect sorts of crops it's way in, but fews hours later you will see me back all over him, trying to make peace but by then I have lost all my worth. he is way closer to his mum and sister than even to me.he prefers to shares all his secrets with them then with me. Last two weeks was like the saddest day of my life in this marriage journey. He bought a car for his mum,he didn't tell me,the car slept in the house over night I didn't know, on my way back from my outing I saw my hubby in a new car driving down with his mum, In amazement I came down to ask whose car it was and howcome I was kept in the dark, then his mum said "it's my car didn't you know?" I felt like a stranger all over again. I called his mum on the phone few mins after I left the embarrasing scene to ask why her son didn't share the good news to me knowing fully well an not against him buying her a car. And she said my husband said i didn't greet my hubby the night before and also that morning. Yes I remeber not greeting him the night vefore cause we had little ish and i just tot to do small shakara, then my not greeting him that morning wasn't intentional, I even apologised immediately my husband cautioned me and I thought we were fine. But I guess we weren't. This is where friendship comes in marriage. No matter what you patner does( as long as it's not adultery or some other serious things I know some women can do.) I feel you should still be able to still give her the respect due. Abi I really wish out vind could grow stronger, it's bin 4years andmy hubby doenst know my dress size, or shoe size or favorite artist or favourite food, my choice of music, my choice of anything, he hardly laughs at my joke, I can't tickle him or throw a pillow at him he will term it as lack of repect, I can't call him "ode"while joking he will say am rude, Its plenty ooo. I tot marriage was more you both becoming friends. Don't you think life is too short to be rigid ALL the time. My husband is very rigid it scares me alot if I would be able to go on for long.. I love him very much than anything in the world but he doesn't feel that way or that much for me. Not like he doesn't love me. But I think I love him more. So we are probably not on the same page. i want to be the one he can run to anyday anytine, share his secrets with, want to be the one that has the power to put the best smile on his face, but each time i try, i fail. WHY?? Is there still hope. Anyone in the house who has testimonies of marriage getting better after 4years. Cause i feel if you fail the first 3years you may never get it right. Mhen ladies you got to get it RIGHT from the beginning to avoid stories..

OP DID YOU SEE ALL THIS SIGNS BEFORE THE MARRIAGE AND IGNORED THEM OR DID HE CHANGED OVER NIGHT?

DO YOU GUYS HAVE KIDS, CUS I FEEL THAT SHOULD CALM HIM DOWN...

You dated for only two months and you were already pregnant when you married.Is this how young people live nowadays?

Well,what I will tell you is to try and find other things to make you happy.Occupy yourself with your job and hobbies.Your husband is formed the way he is- some men are not romantic no matter how hard you try and can be very old school.Just give your husband what he wants for peace.

Lol @ ode... Seriously i think this is a minor issue, your hubby's emotional love tank has been empty for years and it's resultant effect was a break in communication so talk, talk, talk and don't get tired of talking to him.

I can deduce from your narrative that his love language is respect and words of affirmation that explains why he loves being worshipped. I still don't understand why you won't greet your hubby even if you guys fought at wrestlemania, it's bad. Please respect and appreciate him verbally. Also commend the little things he does to keep the family going no matter how small.

On the issue of him not keying in into all these "touchy touchy", it's because he's still not comfortable around you. You need to work on regaining his trust and how can you do this? By loving him in his love language which i stated above.

All the best

obiorathesubtle:
I'd rather suck my own dick than read that entire poppycock story.

Swiss Army knife

First of all, did you guys have courtship? Courtship gives you the opportunity to know each other to some extent, and not a period of having sex as many do.
Secondly, you don't have to change your husband, in fact you can't change him. You need to follow him gradually; fighting and arguments will not solve the problem. Your husband is romantic in his own way but you have not discovered it.
Thirdly, your husband doesn't understand fully what marriage is, that he should leave his father and mother and cling unto you. Since you didn't discover that on time, you have to fix it. Find out how to get him to be romantically all over you

I perfectly understand what it means to feel lonely when your partner is around, although I am not married but I will suggests u discuss how u feel with him when he is happy...

His problem is pride and selfishness.


marriage is kind of scary.....living with a man all the days of your life .
God pls bless me with d best o

This is were courtships and dating comes in handy.

Always date ur partner for at least 1 year b4 marriage, by doing so, even if he was pretending on being nice guy, he couldn't do that for a whole year, by that u will know what u are settling for, to know if u can handle it or manage it.

Babztemmy:
I have being married for 5years and sadly I still dont feel so close to my husband. I got the bible says when two come together they become one. That is that become friends, right? But sadly it doesn't feel like it. My hubby is the kind that likes FULL time respect; greet me when you wake up in the morning, great me when I come back from work, (yes wives please greet your hubbys oo) am heading somewhere with this please dont judge me yet, don't go out without telling me, don't put your hands in my pocket, what are you looking for, don't talk
while am talking (that is even understandable tho) many more I can't mention. Don't tap me on my shoulders of you want to talk to me, don't,don't,don't. He also isnt romantic, he hates me bin romantic around him, it gets him upset. Its bin 4years plus and we still argue ALOT. I thought they said the first 3years is the time of misunderstandings but its 4years now and still nothing has really changed. Sometimes i try to make him talk maybe am not doing something right, and he just always seems to find a fault. Either I don't have respect or I don't have respect or I don't obey him everything calls to respect. Well it's not like I don't respect him or I just wake up in the morning and start disrespecting him. No, it's always in the cause of an argument so while am trying to justify myself or win the case, the disrespect sorts of crops it's way in, but fews hours later you will see me back all over him, trying to make peace but by then I have lost all my worth. he is way closer to his mum and sister than even to me.he prefers to shares all his secrets with them then with me. Last two weeks was like the saddest day of my life in this marriage journey. He bought a car for his mum,he didn't tell me,the car slept in the house over night I didn't know, on my way back from my outing I saw my hubby in a new car driving down with his mum, In amazement I came down to ask whose car it was and howcome I was kept in the dark, then his mum said "it's my car didn't you know?" I felt like a stranger all over again. I called his mum on the phone few mins after I left the embarrasing scene to ask why her son didn't share the good news to me knowing fully well an not against him buying her a car. And she said my husband said i didn't greet my hubby the night before and also that morning. Yes I remeber not greeting him the night vefore cause we had little ish and i just tot to do small shakara, then my not greeting him that morning wasn't intentional, I even apologised immediately my husband cautioned me and I thought we were fine. But I guess we weren't. This is where friendship comes in marriage. No matter what you patner does( as long as it's not adultery or some other serious things I know some women can do.) I feel you should still be able to still give her the respect due. Abi I really wish out vind could grow stronger, it's bin 4years andmy hubby doenst know my dress size, or shoe size or favorite artist or favourite food, my choice of music, my choice of anything, he hardly laughs at my joke, I can't tickle him or throw a pillow at him he will term it as lack of repect, I can't call him "ode"while joking he will say am rude, Its plenty ooo. I tot marriage was more you both becoming friends. Don't you think life is too short to be rigid ALL the time. My husband is very rigid it scares me alot if I would be able to go on for long.. I love him very much than anything in the world but he doesn't feel that way or that much for me. Not like he doesn't love me. But I think I love him more. So we are probably not on the same page. i want to be the one he can run to anyday anytine, share his secrets with, want to be the one that has the power to put the best smile on his face, but each time i try, i fail. WHY?? Is there still hope. Anyone in the house who has testimonies of marriage getting better after 4years. Cause i feel if you fail the first 3years you may never get it right. Mhen ladies you got to get it RIGHT from the beginning to avoid stories..

Well some men are like that... very authoritative. Past experiences etc. You don't have to feel bad about it. You just have to be used it. Know that u can't force him to change.. with time he will change by himself. Stop trying to change him because the more u try the harder he becomes.
Just let him be do as he says... be close to the people that he is close to.

Once u stop trying to change him and or complain.. he will gradually change. Be used to it and flow with it..

Create a strategy to adjust ,adapt.build happiness n God.get a life outside marriage

@Op... while reading your troubled marriage epistle I was just going 'hmmmm', na wa o!..but my question is this...: What was the real reason you got married to him? Was it security? I bet that's why but you did ignore the other red-flags that was flashing right to your face when you were courting him.....
Another question is..: how did you meet him? Were you match-made to him (if that sentence is correct)?, Was he acting all nice and loving while you were 'courting' him?
From all that you complained about I presumed he is way older than you... that's another reason.

Well, I may not be an expert on marital issues but if you must know there are men who are naturally wired like that. The are referred to "ALPHA MALES" and always want to be accorded respect in all of their dealings even where they work. It transcends to all of the way they relate to people. This trait is what has been embeded in him from his youthful age and I bet that was how he was brought up by his parents... (things he'd seen it done in his family, how his father related to his mom and how his mom submissively 'respected' his father.)
The solution: Wait for one the days he's always happy especially the night of your romp and stylishly talk about your concern, that is while he's getting to high heavens. Trust me, men are conquered while making love, there and then he (may) open up on why he's stuck to his guns... just try it and both of you can resolve your ish!



My 2cents sha...

Babztemmy:
I have being married for 5years and sadly I still dont feel so close to my husband. I got the bible says when two come together they become one. That is that become friends, right? But sadly it doesn't feel like it. My hubby is the kind that likes FULL time respect; greet me when you wake up in the morning, great me when I come back from work, (yes wives please greet your hubbys oo) am heading somewhere with this please dont judge me yet, don't go out without telling me, don't put your hands in my pocket, what are you looking for, don't talk
while am talking (that is even understandable tho) many more I can't mention. Don't tap me on my shoulders of you want to talk to me, don't,don't,don't. He also isnt romantic, he hates me bin romantic around him, it gets him upset. Its bin 4years plus and we still argue ALOT. I thought they said the first 3years is the time of misunderstandings but its 4years now and still nothing has really changed. Sometimes i try to make him talk maybe am not doing something right, and he just always seems to find a fault. Either I don't have respect or I don't have respect or I don't obey him everything calls to respect. Well it's not like I don't respect him or I just wake up in the morning and start disrespecting him. No, it's always in the cause of an argument so while am trying to justify myself or win the case, the disrespect sorts of crops it's way in, but fews hours later you will see me back all over him, trying to make peace but by then I have lost all my worth. he is way closer to his mum and sister than even to me.he prefers to shares all his secrets with them then with me. Last two weeks was like the saddest day of my life in this marriage journey. He bought a car for his mum,he didn't tell me,the car slept in the house over night I didn't know, on my way back from my outing I saw my hubby in a new car driving down with his mum, In amazement I came down to ask whose car it was and howcome I was kept in the dark, then his mum said "it's my car didn't you know?" I felt like a stranger all over again. I called his mum on the phone few mins after I left the embarrasing scene to ask why her son didn't share the good news to me knowing fully well an not against him buying her a car. And she said my husband said i didn't greet my hubby the night before and also that morning. Yes I remeber not greeting him the night vefore cause we had little ish and i just tot to do small shakara, then my not greeting him that morning wasn't intentional, I even apologised immediately my husband cautioned me and I thought we were fine. But I guess we weren't. This is where friendship comes in marriage. No matter what you patner does( as long as it's not adultery or some other serious things I know some women can do.) I feel you should still be able to still give her the respect due. Abi I really wish out vind could grow stronger, it's bin 4years andmy hubby doenst know my dress size, or shoe size or favorite artist or favourite food, my choice of music, my choice of anything, he hardly laughs at my joke, I can't tickle him or throw a pillow at him he will term it as lack of repect, I can't call him "ode"while joking he will say am rude, Its plenty ooo. I tot marriage was more you both becoming friends. Don't you think life is too short to be rigid ALL the time. My husband is very rigid it scares me alot if I would be able to go on for long.. I love him very much than anything in the world but he doesn't feel that way or that much for me. Not like he doesn't love me. But I think I love him more. So we are probably not on the same page. i want to be the one he can run to anyday anytine, share his secrets with, want to be the one that has the power to put the best smile on his face, but each time i try, i fail. WHY?? Is there still hope. Anyone in the house who has testimonies of marriage getting better after 4years. Cause i feel if you fail the first 3years you may never get it right. Mhen ladies you got to get it RIGHT from the beginning to avoid stories..

Ur husband is a traditional African man and wants traditional African marriage. Y shld greeting ur husband always even when u have issues be a problem? U want to call him ode jokingly when playing dts a no no for him. Pls adjust to ur husband's personality and stop trying to change him. 4yrs is sufficient to kw him n wat works with him. This is marriage not a nollywood love scene

This is serious . Courtship is not just about romance and sex plus saying I love you, I love you as people make it seem . But I learn its a time to understand each other well

@ op , as advised already .. Give him Everything, Respect , no touching since he doesn't want that and moreover try to earn his Trust so that he will stop confiding in his Mum and sister. I really pray things work out

ogawisdom:
Ur husband is a traditional African man and wants traditional African marriage. Y shld greeting ur husband always even when u have issues be a problem? U want to call him ode jokingly when playing dts a no no for him. Pls adjust to ur husband's personality and stop trying to change him. 4yrs is sufficient to kw him n wat works with him. This is marriage not a nollywood love scene

You get it , he is a traditional African man. Some of What she called romantic is total crap to him .

They have a lot to do , well I believe understanding this about him will go a long way solving their issues

Why did u marry him ?

Peer pressure ?

Money ?

He was nice ?


Answer that question in ur heart first.

I can't tickle him or throw a pillow at him he will term it as lack of repect, I can't call him "ode"while joking he will say am rude, It's plenty ooo

He knows you very well and knows throwing Pillow and tickling will lead to other stupeed things like you calling him "Ode".

So y want to call ur hubby "Ode" ?

u get problem ooo.

Hi, just want to say I'm new here.......

see how bible is deceiving this one

Babztemmy:
@freshraymond. Thank you. We dated for only two months. But we knew we liked eachother. The mistake we made was we had no clue it doesn't and by liking. Okay now we both now actually realise we don't understand each other AT ALL. [b]When we argue he reminds me that it was his mum who begged him to stay cause I was pregnant for him but planned pregnancy we both planned it. When we argue he also reminds me of how he wished he never settled down with me. [/b]When he is angry like this am his greatest night mare. Sometimes I just want to run away as in far away from him. He HATES me sooo much when he is angry. What keeps me going is he is really nice. He is a very nice guy and that's my encouragement he gives me everything I ask for, interms of finances, and then our sexual life is perfect. BUT the understanding each other aspect is not working. I don't know what else to do

The good thing about your marriage is you see him as nice man. The attraction is still there, the sex is good but you want romance and connection so lets assume he is unaware of your needs and does not know how to meet them not that he is deliberately being mean.

I would take it personal if my spouse calls me "ode" then says its a joke. He does not like the joke stop. Teasing someone excessively can be a turn off.

Stop arguing. Just stop next time an issue comes up and you see yourself about to argue do something different. I understand you want to feel heard and got by him but your arguing to drive home your point is not working for your relationship so just drop it and talk when you can see he is receptive to whatever you have to say since he feels disrespected find a way to communicate that feels respectful to him. You can ask him if its a good time to talk before you start talking about the issues burning in your heart.

You've pinpointed two things that makes your marriage hard - arguing and calling him "ode" so stop. see? you understand him some.

I am sure you don't like being told that he wished he never settled with you let him know its not ok to tell you that and you don't have to shout or quarrel to let him know.

If he hates you being romantic maybe the things you think are romantic annoy him I am sure you've noticed a few so stop trying to romance him and romance yourself. I don't know what romance looks like to you but whatever it is do it for yourself.

The car issue would feel bad to anyone. I guess he was trying to "show" you since you were doing shakara. Lol tit for tat is a hard way to live.

As for his being rigid better inject some fun into your own life maybe he will join you in your party and even if he doesn't at least you have your fun life so its a win-win for you with or without him you enjoy your life.

If you guys don't have kids at all, pack your bags and leave Mr Respect Me! Sooner than you know it, you'll become a punching bag! No be talk say I no tell you o!

Iphesure212:
This is hurting. You should try seeing a therapist and have someone close to talk it out with. To unburden your heart and improve your relationship with ur husband

Do you actually think that such a man will agree to seeing a therapist

eeewise:
pls wether they dated is inconsequential what's appropriate for now is counsel on solutions,the way forward.

It is very consequential. If it started before marriage that means that is his kind of person and she knew that and still went ahead hoping to 'change' him. You really can't change someone if he doesn't agree to change. If it started after marriage then there is still much hope

I feel so sorry for you OP especially from the fact that you are facing emotional trauma in your marriage.

Blaming you for not watching his behaviour during courtship cannot solve this situation as it seems obvious that the foundation of your marriage is shaky but then so many unanswered questions about your union. How long did u know your husband before getting married to him? Were u pressurised to get married to him because of your age? Etc.

To fix this issue, pray to God first and seek the counsel of an elderly person in the family that won't take side with any of you or perhaps discuss with your counsellor to advice u and husband.

thorpido:
You dated for only two months and you were already pregnant when you married.Is this how young people live nowadays?

Well,what I will tell you is to try and find other things to make you happy.Occupy yourself with your job and hobbies.Your husband is formed the way he is- some men are not romantic no matter how hard you try and can be very old school.Just give your husband what he wants for peace.

Yes ooo ..

Date 2 months and hope to know evrything about him including Dancing when she calls him Ode.

She better be careful before things go violent.

The book of Amos 3:3 says can two walk together except they agree. It is obvious u guys don't agree with each other. Were u married in a church and are u still a Christian if yes u can go to the marriage committee and report your case to them. I surely know they will help u

So?
How did you marry Him?
Did you forget your Senses in the Market when you said i do?
When you guys were smiling and dancing at the wedding ceremony was he not close to you enough?
How comes now?
I don't believe you the Op tho, it sounds fictional.

Babztemmy:
I have being married for 5years and sadly I still dont feel so close to my husband. I got the bible says when two come together they become one. That is that become friends, right? But sadly it doesn't feel like it. My hubby is the kind that likes FULL time respect; greet me when you wake up in the morning, great me when I come back from work, (yes wives please greet your hubbys oo) am heading somewhere with this please dont judge me yet, don't go out without telling me, don't put your hands in my pocket, what are you looking for, don't talk .

While am talking (that is even understandable tho) many more I can't mention. Don't tap me on my shoulders if you want to talk to me, don't, don't, don't.

He also isn't romantic, he hates me been romantic around him, it gets him upset. Its been 4years plus and we still argue ALOT. I thought they said the first 3years is the time of misunderstandings but its 4years now and still nothing has really changed.

Sometimes i try to make him talk maybe am not doing something right, and he just always seems to find a fault. Either I don't have respect or I don't have respect or I don't obey him everything calls to respect. Well it's not like I don't respect him or I just wake up in the morning and start disrespecting him. No, it's always in the cause of an argument so while am trying to justify myself or win the case, the disrespect sorts of crops it's way in, but fews hours later you will see me back all over him, trying to make peace but by then I have lost all my worth. He is way closer to his mum and sister than even to me. He prefers to Share all his secrets with them than with me.

Last two weeks was like the saddest day of my life in this marriage journey. He bought a car for his mum, he didn't tell me, the car slept in the house over night I didn't know, on my way back from my outing I saw my hubby in a new car driving down with his mum, In amazement I came down to ask whose car it was and how come I was kept in the dark, then his mum said "it's my car didn't you know?" I felt like a stranger all over again. I called his mum on the phone few mins after I left the embarrasing scene to ask why her son didn't share the good news to me knowing fully well i'm not against him buying her a car. And she said my husband said i didn't greet my hubby the night before and also that morning. Yes I remeber not greeting him the night before cause we had little issue and i just thought to do small shakara, then my not greeting him that morning wasn't intentional, I even apologised immediately my husband cautioned me and I thought we were fine. But I guess we weren't. This is where friendship comes in marriage. No matter what your partner does( as long as it's not adultery or some other serious things I know some women can do.) I feel you should still be able to still give her the respect due. Abi I really wish out vind could grow stronger, it's bin 4years and my hubby doenst know my dress size, or shoe size or favorite artist or favourite food, my choice of music, my choice of anything, he hardly laughs at my joke, I can't tickle him or throw a pillow at him he will term it as lack of repect, I can't call him "ode"while joking he will say am rude, It's plenty ooo. I thought marriage was more you both becoming friends. Don't you think life is too short to be rigid ALL the time. My husband is very rigid it scares me alot if I would be able to go on for long.. I love him very much than anything in the world but he doesn't feel that way or that much for me. Not like he doesn't love me. But I think I love him more. So we are probably not on the same page. i want to be the one he can run to anyday anytime, share his secrets with, want to be the one that has the power to put the best smile on his face, but each time i try, i fail. WHY?? Is there still hope.

Anyone in the house who has testimonies of marriage getting better after 4years. Cause i feel if you fail the first 3years you may never get it right. Mhen ladies you got to get it RIGHT from the beginning to avoid stories..

Well, I'm not married yet but I think you women do yourselves a great bit of disservice by not knowing the man you wanna settle with. Once back then, a woman was complaining of how much of a drunk her husband of 2 years is and I kept wondering, didn't she even for once notice he was a drunk after dating him for like 3-4 years? Well, I'm not a councillor nor married man but I'd advise you to sit your hubby down and bare your mind to him. He's like someone I know that just keeps another person in the dark without even speaking out. He's more of an oldie kind of person....

this post is in-complete, it begs many questions. We need to know the pre-marriage history before we can make a prognosis.

Babzilla:
These days when people say they are courting they just fùck, give gifts, go on outings and little else.
No trying to understand one's partner
No communicating
nothing

this is the comment i was looking for.

When he was taking you out, buying you gifts and giving you mind blowing sex, you never care to become friends. Your mind was "just cool down and enjoy".

The one that would have treated you with respect was not rich enough abi?

Bitterleafsoup:
My Dear all that glitter is not gold. He spends money on you that is why you married him in the first place. You thought he was so nice cause of the trinkets and money he spends. That is why you married him, just be satisfied.

You'll live long... You dey mind all these women? I just dey read her story dey shake my head. Her story clearly depicts a woman who married him cos of his money

Babztemmy:
@freshraymond. Thank you. We dated for only two months. But we knew we liked eachother. The mistake we made was we had no clue it doesn't and by liking. Okay now we both now actually realise we don't understand each other AT ALL. When we argue he reminds me that it was his mum who begged him to stay cause I was pregnant for him but planned pregnancy we both planned it. When we argue he also reminds me of how he wished he never settled down with me. When he is angry like this am his greatest night mare. Sometimes I just want to run away as in far away from him. He HATES me sooo much when he is angry. What keeps me going is he is really nice. He is a very nice guy and that's my encouragement he gives me everything I ask for, interms of finances, and then our sexual life is perfect. BUT the understanding each other aspect is not working. I don't know what else to do

Oh dear.

No more crying over spilt milk. I have so many questions for you and some suggestions but I don't know if you are ready to answer them publicly. What do you say?

well I guess you married a man like my dad,the only time I saw my dad smile was when his friends came over , whenever he is around, it's everybody to your tent, the house is as quiet as a grave yard. I would want to tell you he will change, but I doubt he will, live your life and try to be happy with him around, play your favorite music when he is around and sing along, be happy and listen to comedy or hilarious movies when he is around, laugh hard and loud, don't let his sadistic nature suck out your happiness,laughter is contagious so is sadness , that is the only way to help your self

AfroKnight:
Why would it be an issue for you to show respect? Did we Nigerians not grow up respecting our older family members? It should not be difficult to show such respect to your husband who is not your mate.

From all you have written, it is obvious that you want a husband whom you can jokingly "yab" or play roughly with. But this man is not ready for such "games". Give him what he wants. Some people cannot stand little games like rubbing their heads or beating them on the shoulder or calling them goat or refusing to greet in the morning. To them, it is just too childish and disrespectful.

Such people don't start acting hard suddenly. You must have overlooked this during courtship. Better adjust. This is not relationship. This is marriage we are talking about.

Right here is a perfect description of the op's husband (ladies beware). If I can't play with my husband then who? Marriage isn't a slave trade affair. My husband should be my brother, friend, father, etc.
@ op don't call ur husband names. Calling him 'ode' no be joke o

FxDuke:
So?
How did you marry Him?
Did you forget your Senses in the Market when you said i do?
When you guys were smiling and dancing at the wedding ceremony was he not close to you enough?
How comes now?
I don't believe you the Op tho, it sounds fictional.

Your words are harsh but there's sense in them. It's possible that someone with good intentions might have wanted to marry her but she wouldn't have him. She chose this one. We're all responsible for our actions, including OP..