sisisioge:


Jimmy, why would say this? The lady just wrote that her husband,who is supposed to be her best friend and confidant ,would rather play the role of her fore-ancestor. How's she supposed to find happiness with him? Happiness is waking up in the morning, looking at the person sleeping beside you, planting a long kiss on his lips and saying 'hallos' sleepy head. Not the good morning daddy shiit! I kinda have an idea of what she's going thru cos I once dated a guy almost 8yrs older. Guy was happy to be my 'baby' when it pleases him but my daddy most of the time. We couldn't make it of course, it was a century too late for that.


By the way OP, thank you for taking him off the shelf. May God help you.

Babztemmy:
My husband is 31, am 28.

EternalBeing:

What happened to for better for worse? GOD hates divorce! The guy is not womanizing, he's not Poor, not even that he's a wife-beater or trying to use her for money rituals. Why on GOD's green Earth would you advise her to divorce. Watch your soul before you find yourself in hellfire. Even if you are hell-bent on going to hell, don't take her with you....

AuroraB:
You lots sha War Room applies in every marriage ni

Babztemmy:

@freshraymond. Thank you. We dated for only two months. But we knew we liked eachother. The mistake we made was we had no clue it doesn't and by liking. Okay now we both now actually realise we don't understand each other AT ALL. When we argue he reminds me that it was his mum who begged him to stay cause I was pregnant for him but planned pregnancy we both planned it. When we argue he also reminds me of how he wished he never settled down with me. When he is angry like this am his greatest night mare. Sometimes I just want to run away as in far away from him. He HATES me sooo much when he is angry. What keeps me going is he is really nice. He is a very nice guy and that's my encouragement he gives me everything I ask for, interms of finances, and then our sexual life is perfect. BUT the understanding each other aspect is not working. I don't know what else to do

Babztemmy:
I have being married for 5years and sadly I still dont feel so close to my husband. I got the bible says when two come together they become one. That is that become friends, right? But sadly it doesn't feel like it. My hubby is the kind that likes FULL time respect; greet me when you wake up in the morning, great me when I come back from work, (yes wives please greet your hubbys oo) am heading somewhere with this please dont judge me yet, don't go out without telling me, don't put your hands in my pocket, what are you looking for, don't talk .

While am talking (that is even understandable tho) many more I can't mention. Don't tap me on my shoulders if you want to talk to me, don't, don't, don't.

He also isn't romantic, he hates me been romantic around him, it gets him upset. Its been 4years plus and we still argue ALOT. I thought they said the first 3years is the time of misunderstandings but its 4years now and still nothing has really changed.

Sometimes i try to make him talk maybe am not doing something right, and he just always seems to find a fault. Either I don't have respect or I don't have respect or I don't obey him everything calls to respect. Well it's not like I don't respect him or I just wake up in the morning and start disrespecting him. No, it's always in the cause of an argument so while am trying to justify myself or win the case, the disrespect sorts of crops it's way in, but fews hours later you will see me back all over him, trying to make peace but by then I have lost all my worth. He is way closer to his mum and sister than even to me. He prefers to Share all his secrets with them than with me.

Last two weeks was like the saddest day of my life in this marriage journey. He bought a car for his mum, he didn't tell me, the car slept in the house over night I didn't know, on my way back from my outing I saw my hubby in a new car driving down with his mum, In amazement I came down to ask whose car it was and how come I was kept in the dark, then his mum said "it's my car didn't you know?" I felt like a stranger all over again. I called his mum on the phone few mins after I left the embarrasing scene to ask why her son didn't share the good news to me knowing fully well i'm not against him buying her a car. And she said my husband said i didn't greet my hubby the night before and also that morning. Yes I remeber not greeting him the night before cause we had little issue and i just thought to do small shakara, then my not greeting him that morning wasn't intentional, I even apologised immediately my husband cautioned me and I thought we were fine. But I guess we weren't. This is where friendship comes in marriage. No matter what your partner does( as long as it's not adultery or some other serious things I know some women can do.) I feel you should still be able to still give her the respect due. Abi I really wish out vind could grow stronger, it's bin 4years and my hubby doenst know my dress size, or shoe size or favorite artist or favourite food, my choice of music, my choice of anything, he hardly laughs at my joke, I can't tickle him or throw a pillow at him he will term it as lack of repect, I can't call him "ode"while joking he will say am rude, It's plenty ooo. I thought marriage was more you both becoming friends. Don't you think life is too short to be rigid ALL the time. My husband is very rigid it scares me alot if I would be able to go on for long.. I love him very much than anything in the world but he doesn't feel that way or that much for me. Not like he doesn't love me. But I think I love him more. So we are probably not on the same page. i want to be the one he can run to anyday anytime, share his secrets with, want to be the one that has the power to put the best smile on his face, but each time i try, i fail. WHY?? Is there still hope.

Anyone in the house who has testimonies of marriage getting better after 4years. Cause i feel if you fail the first 3years you may never get it right. Mhen ladies you got to get it RIGHT from the beginning to avoid stories..

LordaGuru:

His Money entered into her eyes and head u mean to say?! Birds of a feather. Just like you, this lady is covetousness personified! She married the guy because of his money. Now she's looking for justification to do the next wickedness on her mind; using the guys money to lure a supposed good-listener guy into infidelity she craves for. She probably already has one of her numerous old boyfriends on mind. This wonderful husband works his arse out daily to provide all your lazy-lousy butts' needs and still manage to fvck you so hard at nights instead of sleeping and resting as deserved. YET you still come here ranting?! You want a perfect man; a man that has EVERYTHING. You refused to accept and love him with his imperfections like you don't know that NoBoDY is perfect. Women!!! Most are simply insatiable! I feel so sorry for your wonderful husband. Truth be told; he deserves a much better wife than you heartless bbitch!

AntiWailer:
Why did u marry him ?

Peer pressure ?

Money ?

He was nice ?


Answer that question in ur heart first.


mumu! 'ode' means I love You. even 'big head' get e own romantic mening.
He knows you very well and knows throwing Pillow and tickling will lead to other stupeed things like you calling him "Ode".

So y want to call ur hubby "Ode" ?

u get problem ooo.

AntiWailer:
Why did u marry him ?

Peer pressure ?

Money ?

He was nice ?


Answer that question in ur heart first.


He knows you very well and knows throwing Pillow and tickling will lead to other stupeed things like you calling him "Ode".

So y want to call ur hubby "Ode" ?

u get problem ooo.

frudum:

mumu! 'ode' means I love You. even 'big head' get e own romantic meaning.

Babztemmy:
I have being married for 5years and sadly I still dont feel so close to my husband. I got the bible says when two come together they become one. That is that become friends, right? But sadly it doesn't feel like it. My hubby is the kind that likes FULL time respect; greet me when you wake up in the morning, great me when I come back from work, (yes wives please greet your hubbys oo) am heading somewhere with this please dont judge me yet, don't go out without telling me, don't put your hands in my pocket, what are you looking for, don't talk .

While am talking (that is even understandable tho) many more I can't mention. Don't tap me on my shoulders if you want to talk to me, don't, don't, don't.

He also isn't romantic, he hates me been romantic around him, it gets him upset. Its been 4years plus and we still argue ALOT. I thought they said the first 3years is the time of misunderstandings but its 4years now and still nothing has really changed.

Sometimes i try to make him talk maybe am not doing something right, and he just always seems to find a fault. Either I don't have respect or I don't have respect or I don't obey him everything calls to respect. Well it's not like I don't respect him or I just wake up in the morning and start disrespecting him. No, it's always in the cause of an argument so while am trying to justify myself or win the case, the disrespect sorts of crops it's way in, but fews hours later you will see me back all over him, trying to make peace but by then I have lost all my worth. He is way closer to his mum and sister than even to me. He prefers to Share all his secrets with them than with me.

Last two weeks was like the saddest day of my life in this marriage journey. He bought a car for his mum, he didn't tell me, the car slept in the house over night I didn't know, on my way back from my outing I saw my hubby in a new car driving down with his mum, In amazement I came down to ask whose car it was and how come I was kept in the dark, then his mum said "it's my car didn't you know?" I felt like a stranger all over again. I called his mum on the phone few mins after I left the embarrasing scene to ask why her son didn't share the good news to me knowing fully well i'm not against him buying her a car. And she said my husband said i didn't greet my hubby the night before and also that morning. Yes I remeber not greeting him the night before cause we had little issue and i just thought to do small shakara, then my not greeting him that morning wasn't intentional, I even apologised immediately my husband cautioned me and I thought we were fine. But I guess we weren't. This is where friendship comes in marriage. No matter what your partner does( as long as it's not adultery or some other serious things I know some women can do.) I feel you should still be able to still give her the respect due. Abi I really wish out vind could grow stronger, it's bin 4years and my hubby doenst know my dress size, or shoe size or favorite artist or favourite food, my choice of music, my choice of anything, he hardly laughs at my joke, I can't tickle him or throw a pillow at him he will term it as lack of repect, I can't call him "ode"while joking he will say am rude, It's plenty ooo. I thought marriage was more you both becoming friends. Don't you think life is too short to be rigid ALL the time. My husband is very rigid it scares me alot if I would be able to go on for long.. I love him very much than anything in the world but he doesn't feel that way or that much for me. Not like he doesn't love me. But I think I love him more. So we are probably not on the same page. i want to be the one he can run to anyday anytime, share his secrets with, want to be the one that has the power to put the best smile on his face, but each time i try, i fail. WHY?? Is there still hope.

Anyone in the house who has testimonies of marriage getting better after 4years. Cause i feel if you fail the first 3years you may never get it right. Mhen ladies you got to get it RIGHT from the beginning to avoid stories..

ogawisdom:


Ur husband is a traditional African man and wants traditional African marriage. Y shld greeting ur husband always even when u have issues be a problem? U want to call him ode jokingly when playing dts a no no for him. Pls adjust to ur husband's personality and stop trying to change him. 4yrs is sufficient to kw him n wat works with him. This is marriage not a nollywood love scene

lady25:

Right here is a perfect description of the op's husband (ladies beware). If I can't play with my husband then who? Marriage isn't a slave trade affair. My husband should be my brother, friend, father, etc.
@ op don't call ur husband names. Calling him 'ode' no be joke o

sexymoma:
Ignore him for awhile... Greet him every morning and do your things on your own...aint talking about personal needs ooo
As in put him in his place... Fine he doesn't want you to joke around with him leave him... Play with your kids
He keeps things away from you... Do the same.. Keep things away from him.. Don't tell him what you gonna do next... If he sits, sits nd Jos ignore him... Don't get me wrong ain't saying you should keep malice with him ooo... Buh i bet you he is doing all these becos you are giving him too much attention..

Florena:
I so much feel your plight and I understand how you are feeling. I don't know why people are blaming you though, it's very obvious your husband is a typical traditional, ego-driven, proud man. He wants all the kneeling down to greet me stuff. Then I ask myself what is marriage without romance and there can never be romance where ur husband sees you as a lower breed, I mean why can't I greet my husband in d morning with a kiss?
My advice is if u want to keep this marriage so badly then u Ave to act like he's nt always around, fall in love with something else nt someone (do not cheat) get busy cos believe me, he's nt going to change, NEVER!!!

carmag:


then what is essence of marriage if not to
have a good companion

shey na by fire or force to stay married when
there's no happiness, mutual understanding

badboy92:
How do you dress at home? hope you don't wear those long mary amaka gowns at home while some other bitch is dressing to kill?
well, find out those attributes that made him fall in love with you, ignite it.
Am suspecting his an introvert, so you gatta try to understand him too...
most importantly, sit him down and discuss this issue with him, tell him how much you
love him and how much your hurt by his actions...

jaydee87:
sis try and understand him first, know him well. what are the tins he like and dont like. if u done with this then work on them..

carmag:


you don't know why people are blaming her?
you better take a lesson from her,
discover your man the person you want to
spend your entire life with during cuts hip

she was blinded by material gift and ignoring
their compatibility

carmag:


what's 'ode'

wadetaw202:


You just nailed it; it was a marriage of convenience. You married him because he gave you everything you asked for. That,my lady, is a myopic reason to gfet married. unfortunately, you will have to live with it. 2 months of dating? Hmmmmm.

carmag:


my findings, especially the ladies found it
difficult to tell her the truth...someone
you want to spend the rest of your life and
you claim you dated for only 2 months which
also is a lie

the 2 months she claimed was probably during the
marriage preparations so she never dated
but she don't want to admit that

carmag:


if you read her second part of the story, her
hubby married her to appease his mother
it's not about dressing, my uncle is in a similar
case like that, no dating hence he has turned
his wife to a punching bag even in the public

mean while there was a lady he dated for
good five years and I hardly had any
disagreement btw them bcs we stayed under
one roof

Ujoan:


But from what you are saying, he's not nice at all. If he's nice to outsiders and not to you, then it doesn't count. Charity begins at home.

I understand you really want to make your marriage work, but there is nothing much you can do when your husband is clearly being cooperative.

I don't think divorce is the way to go sha, but I think you need to let him be. Stop expecting ANYTHING from him. Live your life fully aware of the fact that he's just a spouse, and not a friend or lover . . . It will definitely hurt, but it will save you from any future disappointment and heartache.

For example, my husband has always being bad at communication. If I traveled, he would not call or care . . . when we got married and had kids, he changed a bit, but still he wasn't as caring as I wanted him to be when I'm out of town. Infact, he often acted like out of sight is out of mind . . . . and it really hurt. After a while, it looked like he had changed and would call/text/PM whenever I traveled and I was happy. Then I was transferred to another state. Of course knowing how he was before and how he has progressed, I knew us being almost permanently apart will cause him to regress to his incommunicado mode. But this time, I stopped caring. If he calls, fine . . . . if he doesn't, also fine!

Now I really don't care as much as I used to. In-fact I don't call or try to communicate with him until he initiates it . . . . . Obviously it's putting a strain in our relationship as we don't get to talk as often as we should, but there's nothing I can do about it. I cannot go through the whole process again . . . . . if he wants it this way, it's fine by me.

AlPeter:
that's the kinda guys you ladies like, the ones that make you cry and treat you like poo.good you are learning to live with it.