₦airaland Forum

ViktorMartins:
Easy for ladies? Tell me another story!
See, the girls dress provocatively to sexuually seduce us; how easy is it for you to blame guys when you don't know what we go through daily in the hands of you ladies!

yinkhar:
I'm sorry sirrrrrrrr, i will tell dem to stop seduction u
bt on a serious note, its easy for greater percentage of ladies dan guys

OLAADEGBU:
Suggested answer:

http://www.gotquestions.org/abstinence-before-marriage.html

Question: "Is abstinence before marriage a realistic message?"

Answer: Many in the modern culture have declared that sexual morality is dead, that abstinence isn't realistic, but it is instead old-fashioned and outdated. Is abstinence before marriage even reasonable in today's "hook-up culture"?

God designed sex to be enjoyed within a committed marital relationship. When God brought Adam and Eve together in marriage, He established the "one flesh" relationship. Genesis 2:24 tells us that a man will leave his family, join to his wife, and become "one flesh" with her. There are numerous verses that declare sex before marriage to be sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible commands complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4).

God’s truth is eternal—not old-fashioned or unrealistic. However, God’s truth isn’t always easy! Sexual abstinence before marriage is often difficult and requires commitment, self-control, and some strategy. In a sense, it requires a person to be a rebel in a "sexually enlightened" culture.

In reality, the sexual enlightenment philosophy has brought our culture a lot of negative things—porn addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, emotional damage, and abortion on demand. Many in today's culture say that a "hook-up" is the goal of the night. Singles bounce from club to club looking to hook up with a stranger for casual sex. But that's not how God designed sex to work.

Blogger Matt Walsh describes this well: "Describing sex as 'casual' is like describing the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel as a 'nice little doodle.' . . . The people who diminish and cheapen sex are the ones who get to pass themselves off as 'sexually enlightened.'"

Perhaps you are in a committed relationship, maybe even engaged to be married. For you, sex would not be "casual"; even so, God wants you to wait for the marriage relationship before you have sex. Saving this special, God-given intimacy until marriage will deepen your relationship and prevent future regrets.

Many see abstinence as unrealistic because no one has shown them how to live it out. If someone just shakes a finger and says, "Don't have sex before marriage," but doesn't give the tools to live that message, abstinence becomes a lot more difficult. Here are some tips from those who have faced the temptations and walked the path of abstinence:

• Understand that you can be a rebel in the culture. No one should force you to have sex before marriage. If you want to honour God by saving sex for a marriage relationship, then you can do it!

• Keep your eye on the prize. That prize isn't your future spouse. It isn't your wedding night. Your end goal is becoming more like Christ. That's God's plan for you.

• Don't put yourself in situations where you'll be tempted to compromise your values—or your sexual purity. This may mean not being alone together. You know what those situations are, so avoid them.

• [s]Date people who are like-minded. When both of you are on board with abstinence, you can help each other keep the commitment of abstinence[/s].

• Set boundaries. Ask a good friend or mentor to keep you accountable.

Abstinence is more than not having sex before marriage. Strive for sexual purity in all areas of your life—in thoughts, in words, in actions. If you think about or talk about sex a lot, you're going to have a lot harder time not doing it.

Whether the culture says abstinence is realistic or not doesn't change God's truth. He has established sex to be limited to marriage, and He will equip you to honour Him through abstinence. First Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

Is abstinence realistic? Yes. Is abstinence always easy? No, but, with God, it is possible.

Note: Perhaps you've already lost your virginity. Please know that God is in the business of second chances. He wants you to come to Him in repentance, and He will forgive your sins and heal your heart. It's not too late to make the choice to live righteously and in ways that are pleasing to Him.

Jesuobu:
It's not easy to keep sexual urge at bay but it can be controlled by two things.
1. Focusing on something that occupies the mind like reading.
2. Having the fear of God. This is the most effective.

The fear of sexual transmitted disease can never save you. When it's time, you won't remember HIV or syphilis. I have overcome one or two sexual temptations. I don't really know how but I just overcome it.

I'm not a saint. I have feelings too but all the same, Kongi nah bad thing

Laredojohn:
I have always thought of this too,but to be sincere its realistic for those who have the grace too,i know some peeps will come and quote scriptures etc, but to be realistic even those who preach it must have fallen before(though not all) ,but whosoever has kissed, had lust by mere looking at a woman , masturbated , or done any sexual act thats not even penetration is a good as having sex , we truly have those who can abstain and i salute them because it takes the grace of God too, i once spoke with a lady friend, she told me she was abstaining from sex till marriage , but when we spoke further she said she only kisses , i was like , u fink a guy will just always be interested in kissing u always and will not wanna go further someday ..anyways it takes the grace of God .

atirolu:
No test market
Will lead to fight btw seller and buyer

chukz999:
[color=#990000][/color]

Though In Our Modern Society Sexulal Immorality Is The Order Of The Day.... But I Still Believe That Abstenance Is A Realistic Message

DTRUMPER:
SAME advantages LESBIANS have for going into the devilish act

DTRUMPER:
ONE MILLION DOLLARS FOR THAT GOOD COMMENT

miketayo:
first 2 r correct but the last isnt

LaExpert:
Virtually everything in the quoted post has a solution, from low libido to weak erektion to quick expulsion.

Low libido is more of a psychological issue besides, there are ways to increase libido.

If I hit the gym with a first time gym user, I won't enjoy my workout session simply because I'll need to teach the newbie how to use the equipments... and he'll get better with time.
If we're both newbies, we'll enjoy the session as our trainer will easily put us through.

clogogo:
Disadvantages

No sexual experience

No Sexual awareness of your partner that leads to infidelity most time. Aka Sexual lapido

E.t.c

kennydotkom:
Yes it is possible , only if the lady in question refuse the guy that has consecience wit joint agreement never to engage in premrital sex. But it will take a self control people to obey. This. because its not easy. We hv to face reality.

Anjelus:
First, let me correct this erroneous notion, sex is the least reason for marriage, is just the icing of the cake, the primary reason for marriage is companionship and it is because of the misplaced priority that we now have marriages fallen apart without remorse. Any marriage built on sex is already standing on a faulty foundation hence the reason for extra marital affairs. With abstinence, you are in a good frame of mind to start a relationship with your head rather than your emotions. You able to look at the pros and cons of your partner and decide whether it aligns with your goals and values, otherwise, you are at liberty to move on without any emotional attachments that come with a sexual relationship. This apart, the most important reason is that ITS A SIN BEFORE GOD!!!

kennydotkom:
Yes it is possible , only if the lady in question refuse the guy that has consecience wit joint agreement never to engage in premrital sex. But it will take a self control people to obey. This. because its not easy. We hv to face reality.

eph12:
They do so knowing fully well the repercussion. And they have most likely made their peace with it.
Do you know there is difference between saying you believe something and actually acting like you really believe.

goldeno10boy:
and zero number of children born out of wedlock (bastards)
There is no body that will be happy with his/her parents for making him/her a bastard

solasoulmusic:
Honestly it's really between you and the God you serve. I have found that keeping yourself for that one person really helps build a sexual bond.

Occasionally temptation seeps in but it's best to wait because men start to treat you differently once sex is involved and the center of the relationship

yes he can get it anywhere but everyone has a unique touch a unique way in which they make love like a fingerprint once you have a match if you like turn to rabbit you won't be able to deny it.

Isaacmacdon:


I see a deluded atheist talking trash. Abstinence is key. Your saying that "nobody practices abstinence" shows how disintegrated your mind is. This thread is dead on arrival. I just hope the populace can decide what's best for them. In this current time where formication is in our faces; Abstinence is key.

delighteddell:
I'll say it's an individual thing

If you can abstain from it, Great..you'll enjoy the rewards. If you can't, the good news is you'll also get the rewards...

1. Analyse the health and religious implications of either of them (Abstaining or not)
2. Make a list of some possible reactions u'll get from your peers if accidentally they get to know youre abstaining or not.
3. Weigh your results in 1 and 2.
4. EMPLOY THE SERVICE OF YOUR INSTINCT.

OLAADEGBU:
Does that mean that they think it is not a realistic message?

doublefreez:
Thing is that It is widely practiced. I have a whole lot of first have experience on this. The only thing these guys dont do is penetrate. Only a few , really few do total abstenance.
A lot of us still advocate abstenance, even though we cant practice it.

PresVA:
Op, whether realistic or not, the right and correct message has to be passed, those who want to abide by it will. ..

Eg, Should we now stop preaching against lies because almost everyone tells one form of lie or the other.. then adopt lying as a norm?

rosy1992:
There is always an exception out of every regularities.
Abstinence is the key.

cliquevibes:
Dats y it good 2 use condom

newnigerian:
Gerara of here! I never touch my wife till we married and I know many others who have done so also.
The moral failure of the world cannot rewrite the Word.

Besides you save your self many troubles and reap peace and blessing if you abstain before marriage.

Nobleking2000:
Stories we get from "Abstinence teachings" on social Media.
1. Help!!! My husband has a small ddick. What should I do?
2. Help!!! My Husband is a 1 minute man. He cannot satisfy me in bed. What should I do?
3. Help!!! My Wife does not like sex, I am tempted to go outside. What should I do?
4. Help!!! My Husband touches me once in 6 months since after our marriage. What should I do?
5. Help!!! My wife cries each time we make love. I am even afraid to touch her. What should I do?
6. Help!!! My husband has a weak eerection. I don't feel his ddick inside me. What should I do?
7. Help My wife is not Good in bed. She lies like a lug of wood. I don't enjoy sex with her . What should I do?
When you refused to check what your buying before you pay, please don't come to me for any silly advice. I have stopped contributing on threads on such topics for a very long time now.
Sexual compatibility is key to a successful marriage.
Be wise + Be smart

eph12:
And what do you think should be the right message?

happney65:
Nonesense..Me wey i go still have Sex this evening..If you dont want to fuckkkk,dont have a Boyfriend..Sogboo.... omolola15 how far that babe jare..I even forget to ask you,any update?

OLAADEGBU:
Teaching them the 'know how', not just wringing the finger of abstinence at folks.

joseph1832:
There's a time for everything.