₦airaland Forum

uplawal:
I will advise you not to listen to some fake women advising you here to give her silence,call her,sit her down rubbish and nonsense,it does not work,and am sure it will get worse if you continue putting up with her madness,she not only call your parents names,but spat at you?this is the most despicable thing,in Africa it is very wrong in all manner for an adult to spit on someone,particularly the husband,she has cross the boundary,what she has done is an abomination,if you like let western life makes you think all is well with that evil act,my brother,that act can make people dishonour you for life,spitting on someone particularly on spouse may aothomatically makes wear a dishonour spiritually for life,even without you knowing them before,its as bad as that,let me say you woint be honoured by anyone except you do serious prayer about it,its very dangerous act shes done,and mind you since you have decided to take her back after an affair,all i can say you finished yourself already,the fact is that she does not love you,and would niot be bothered to live you anytime,i will advise you to just let her be,as in divorse her and remarry,or else ehn,you will will find yourself to blame,is either she kills you Godforbid or you mistakenly kill her or near it when you cannot handle your agrression anymore,no matter how cool you are she will get on your nerve one day and it may ccost you alot.And again i dnt really believe you are really that cool,its cos of the fake mumu nonsense love you have for her thats why you are taking the shits,if it were to be a girl you love less,you would have beaten her to stupor,thats what am reading exactly from your thread,you just taking shit that you wont have taken from another you care less,that means you dnt regard yourself or parents,but shitty woman.

FYI am a married woman who also support no aggression and disrespect to married men,She wont change and she wont love you more,its either she takes in and your real trouble will start which will finish everything,you will only live misreable cos she wont evr change,cos she does not love you but another.

sllay:
Dude, just because you grew up watching your temperamental dad knock out your mum's teeth every Christmas while she spent every alternate weekend recuperating in a hospital bed after he beat her to a coma doesn't mean that's the way women, worse still married women should be treated.

Some of us were raised in homely environments.

Don't end up like your dad, boy. Rise above female brutality!

baddestchic:
stay away from her while this unwelcome atmosphere is between both of you

when its all over.... you have to sit her down and talk to her... ask what you did that got her angry and also tell her what she did that got you really mad... tell her very gently you dont like how she reacted... communication is key especially in marriage


respect is both ways there should be no spitting on anyone.... telling her to leave wont make things better only worse

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

malachytochukwu:
Pardon me but I would say that you are completely wrong.... Obviously, you intentionally didn't want to follow her for shopping. You came home and all you could do was to go and play fifa game. She asked for your router and you kept mute as if to say that it was a mad woman that stood before you. She managed to make you talk by seizing your remote and all you could say was that you forgot the router in your office. Who could have believed you? Maybe what's making you angry is because she dated another man when you left for Saudi. ( who she left to marry you). You better calm down or you get yourself into a full time deep shit! Don't listen to these children saying "send her home". You are married means that you are married. Stop acting like a child, be the man that you are. Some men get slapped by their girl friends and hell doesn't "break open". That useless fifa is taking you away from your family, better keep it for the kids and take care of your home. I rest my case.

Martinsedward:
I have been a friend to this website for some years now but I just want you to know that your post made me to fully registered into the website so I can have the opportunity to advice you.
I carefully read between the line your worries and trust me I've had something similar to your experience in the past so I totally imagine what you are going through. Forget about immature advice here online. Not until people experience bad marriage , they won't know how damaging it can be for career, emotion and your state of mind. You are lucky they don't sell alcohol where you are, when I was dealing with mine, I turned into a strong addict and started doing things I don't do before.
Here is my advice for you, you need to do the needful to avoid her by all means not by sending her back to Nigeria. I live in North America and it got to a point when my ex started acting up by disrespecting me . She did to the point that she stood to my face that I should touch her then see what's gonna happen to me. I immediately got her message that she is setting me up to jail so I avoided that. I left home and rented a basement , after few months , she came back to her senses by realizing the important of husband in a home. With all due respect ladies, you need to be humble in marriage and that's the key.
Your happiness is the key and better avoid her now before she will send you to an early grave. Vacate the house for her now and make yourself happy again. Mine wouldn't even cook for me for months despite she doesn't work and I took care of all bills in the house .

IYANGBALI:
Oga na you I blame o,koboko no dey for Saudi ni abi you no get belt to teach an sense? No be every woman man dey pamper o. If you let am know sey you get craze for head she go gentle and dey fear you. My own advice be sey make you give am second chance but try buy koboko keep for us and make you try to dey pretend to be mad man for am. Naija babe no dey respect gentle man o. Thank God sey you be Muslim, I go help you arrange another woman for here in case you go throway am come back to naija.

Rokiatu ajepako abimbawealth Juliaann VickyRotex Aminat508 Osusumustflow Edwife Mukina2 and notoriousbabe abeg make una be on standby. Horseband have come for Saudi God have answer your prayer,you are about to become Alhaja

Decryptor:
I want to ask you a question and i need a honest answer from you....

Would you have given the same advise of "talking things over" if it was the other way round?

============================================

Back to the topic...@nameerfhtennek, you are suffering what is called emotional abuse! Nobody...i repeat NOBODY should be in an abusive relationship! Many women behave like this to their spouse and when the man loses it, they raise the "Domestic Violence" card against the men and everyone sympathizes with them and calls the man a devil!

My advice: Quietly bundle her smelly a*se and give her marital deportation back to Nigeria so she can go to her father's house and continue to look for trouble!

Mayflowa:
Lol. Rokiatu Don marry am abi abi she leave horseband

99foxxy:
I don't know what to type, Give her belle na...

uplawal:
I will advise you not to listen to some fake women advising you here to give her silence,call her,sit her down rubbish and nonsense,it does not work,and am sure it will get worse if you continue putting up with her madness,she not only call your parents names,but spat at you?this is the most despicable thing,in Africa it is very wrong in all manner for an adult to spit on someone,particularly the husband,she has cross the boundary,what she has done is an abomination,if you like let western life makes you think all is well with that evil act,my brother,that act can make people dishonour you for life,spitting on someone particularly on spouse may aothomatically makes wear a dishonour spiritually for life,even without you knowing them before,its as bad as that,let me say you woint be honoured by anyone except you do serious prayer about it,its very dangerous act shes done,and mind you since you have decided to take her back after an affair,all i can say you finished yourself already,the fact is that she does not love you,and would niot be bothered to live you anytime,i will advise you to just let her be,as in divorse her and remarry,or else ehn,you will will find yourself to blame,is either she kills you Godforbid or you mistakenly kill her or near it when you cannot handle your agrression anymore,no matter how cool you are she will get on your nerve one day and it may ccost you alot.And again i dnt really believe you are really that cool,its cos of the fake mumu nonsense love you have for her thats why you are taking the shits,if it were to be a girl you love less,you would have beaten her to stupor,thats what am reading exactly from your thread,you just taking shit that you wont have taken from another you care less,that means you dnt regard yourself or parents,but shitty woman.

FYI am a married woman who also support no aggression and disrespect to married men,She wont change and she wont love you more,its either she takes in and your real trouble will start which will finish everything,you will only live misreable cos she wont evr change,cos she does not love you but another.

GoodSide:
bros send her packing.they are useless.
i had a gal i loved so much.she take me for granted.doesnt call or show care only wen she needs money or sex.
nigha is no fool.
i blocked her ass on all social media apps.
women are nothing but a bunch of stress and so useless.

IYANGBALI:
Rokiatu is SS. Single and searching but she go dey pretend sey she be big girl for you,no mind am o she is not

IYANGBALI:
correct guy. Chop knuckle jo

Mayflowa:
IYANGBALI true? You know we Don tey for here o so I gats trust you on this. I mean the Virgin sexy Rokiatu who opened a thread about getting married and also talks about marriage life in many thread.

So say the truth

baddestchic:
stay away from her while this unwelcome atmosphere is between both of you

when its all over.... you have to sit her down and talk to her... ask what you did that got her angry and also tell her what she did that got you really mad... tell her very gently you dont like how she reacted... communication is key especially in marriage


respect is both ways there should be no spitting on anyone.... telling her to leave wont make things better only worse

Miladi:
Spot-on.

IYANGBALI:
that thread wey she write na packaging and notice me she take am do o,na to sell her her market on nairaland to people like you. Rokiatu is single and searching

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Mayflowa:
So much for a married woman! You are not nice at all. Do you know how many women accept men back after straying? You should hear from the woman first. By the way, he started the trouble