₦airaland Forum

Mom007:
You made some sense but the way you put it makes it easy for the man to feel resentful of your suggestions and the woman to feel entitled. The times have changed too much for you to say it's the man's job to do this and the woman's to do that. After all the women didn't get degrees and certification to come and hang on the husband's wall. What you should rather emphasize is love, humility and understanding between the two spouses. If you love your wife for instance, and see her being crushed under the weight of certain chores, nothing stops you from helping her out. If you love your husband and for a time he is incapable of meeting financial needs of the family, and you have the means to assist, do so without thinking too much of it. That is what being a family is all about after all.

Josephamstrong1:
Truth be told Oga Toks.
Nada like syndrome abt African mentality on d'syd of d'man and of d' wife bcomn a bread winner. Both parties build d' ship b4 sailing, one captain1, d' oda assistant captain to take ova wen captain1 gets tired. Responsibility shud b shared 50:50. Wen d' man ain't buoyant enuf to take up a responsibility doesn't make him less a man. Truth is, Pride and ego sets in wen reverse is d' case on d syd of d' woman.
For instance, thr r duties meant for a wife in d' house weda u're d' bread winner or not. And thr r duties a man shud do and ones dat breaks a man's ego. And wen lost, can't regain again. Breadwinner isn't all abt bringing money home for d' family?. Abi na for diff purse? So I don't see much ado in it. Do ya normal duties as a wife while providing for d' family wen d' man ain't buoyant enuf maybe coz job laid off... U kw. A man shud alwz learn to b a man despite wat. If nt, women hv dz natural traits of brking a man's ego in one way or d' oda...yes!
This controversial ish I must say. buh..boils down to wisdom and undastandin of both parties.

Toks2008:
[b]

Now it is important to note that no two marriages are the same and what works for you may not work for the other person and the fact that a man provides all the needs of the family does not mean that he can't assist the wife to do some of her primary duties if needs be and a wife who has become the breadwinner may also not mind playing her primary duties without any support from the husband .

Savigne:
As a woman I have no issue with doing all the house work as long as you're ready to play your role as a man and provide all the kids and I need.... But then again that doesn't stop me from helping out financially when you're low on cash and nothing should stop you also from helping out with chores.... Let's leave culture and religion out of this and use our conscience... If you claim you love someone you would help out when the need arises.

wrongnumber:
Hog wash.

A wife must still play her full role even if she is the full breadwinner.

If I like I help and if I like I won't .

Oga toks I be your fan but i don't agree with this one.

Toks2008:
Apparently you all skiped this part




Lets be frank with ourselves..is it not the man's responsibility to take care of the lady regardless of whatever she earns as income?

So what is the hullabaloo about sharing her responsibilities if she can be magnanimous enough to share yours?

Toks2008:
Is it not even naturally foolish for a man to claim alpha male when he can not provide for his family as he should?

I really don't understand why some men can't grasp this fact. A lady who plays the role of the husband or shares his role must be encouraged morally,physically and emotionally.

mbhs139:
My wife is not the co-bread winner in the house or of the family and yet I assist in doing household chores becuase, for me, i believe it's a form of exercise. Besides, by doing so, I'm also saving myself some cost and frustration. It allows me to know when certain things are not available or when they are likely not going to be available and I prepare in advance.

Like I wake up before anybody, boil water for the baby's flask and the one mother and child will use to take their bath. I'm even the one that goes to bed last. Once I'm back to the house my wife practically shot down; she knows I will take charge, and I have to if I want things to be done well. I go to bed last because I want to make sure all lights are put off; there's no water on the floor, no running tap and things like that. Yet, I'm the bread winner. Though, my wife, in her magnanimity, do get some things for the house, and for which I thank her. For instance, she will cook fresh fish when I've actually given her money for 'ponmo'

doveda:
So if I pay MY children school fees and feed MY family, I become the husband of the home....seriously toks, can we get dvmber than this
My husband is no less of a man or a father or a husband if he does the chunk of house chores. Unless of course, you are insinuating that house chores are for slaves and subhumans.





@Jarizgod, when men who earn higher than their wives disrespect their wives and treat them like trash, we don't attribute it to their earning power or gender. Neither do morons say it derogates femininity. However when it involves stvpid women treating their spouses like trash you conveniently blame it on her earning power and the how the feminine gender is prone to bad behaviour and the audacity to tell us how it makes a their spouses less of a man.



Your logic....you are indeed very smart..

Toks2008:
Is it not even naturally foolish for a man to claim alpha male when he can not provide for his family as he should?

I really don't understand why some men can't grasp this fact. A lady who plays the role of the husband or shares his role must be encouraged morally,physically and emotionally.

ghostmist:
I see your point...

but, it's still at his discretion. They could get a maid at the very least. at least it solves two problems , and it's like killing two birds with a stone. she isn't stressed after work and the man's pride isn't crushed in the guise of doing domestic chores. Besides, he would also have the time to look for something economically tangible to engage himself with.

elektra:
A man's pride? Should it not be a man's pride to do everything he can to ensure that his home runs smoothly? If they cannot afford a maid nko? Here in the states maid services cost an arm and a leg. It is 100% fine if he chooses to sit down, cross leg and be forming pride then later expect maximum respect from wife and children by virtue of his pr!ck abi?
Things are no longer the way they were during our mothers' time when most women did not work, now most families need the double income. Most women have no issue with doing all the domestic chores while the man provides, sadly this kind of arrangement is getting less feasible because of the economy.
Domestic chores are no longer as hard as they used to be too, the man could vacuum the living room, load the laundry and keep rice on fire. When wife returns she makes stew and fold the clothes, puts the kids to sleep. I promise you your pr!ck will not disappear if you contribute to your family in doing chores if your wife is contributing financially. Your wife will appreciate it and your kids are watching. They will respect you for it.

elektra:
A man's pride? Should it not be a man's pride to do everything he can to ensure that his home runs smoothly? If they cannot afford a maid nko? Here in the states maid services cost an arm and a leg. It is 100% fine if he chooses to sit down, cross leg and be forming pride then later expect maximum respect from wife and children by virtue of his pr!ck abi?
Things are no longer the way they were during our mothers' time when most women did not work, now most families need the double income. Most women have no issue with doing all the domestic chores while the man provides, sadly this kind of arrangement is getting less feasible because of the economy.
Domestic chores are no longer as hard as they used to be too, the man could vacuum the living room, load the laundry and keep rice on fire. When wife returns she makes stew and fold the clothes, puts the kids to sleep. I promise you your pr!ck will not disappear if you contribute to your family in doing chores if your wife is contributing financially. Your wife will appreciate it and your kids are watching. They will respect you for it.

ghostmist:


I swear if most women argued their case this way, they would rarely have issues with men. but they tend to throw logic out the window thereby causing the men to go defensive.


if you were my wife and you put your points across to me this way, the very next morning, I would have concluded all the necessary domestic chores before you'd have opened your eyes for the day.

it's the woman's attitude that is everything... there's a way you talk to a man that would have him washing your undies and bringing you breakfast in bed with joy. ladies these days are ignorant of this. they talk down on the man, leaving his ego in tatters and yet, they expect him to be reasonable....

kudos to you.... I completely get your point and I concur.

ghostmist:


I swear if most women argued their case this way, they would rarely have issues with men. but they tend to throw logic out the window thereby causing the men to go defensive.


if you were my wife and you put your points across to me this way, the very next morning, I would have concluded all the necessary domestic chores before you'd have opened your eyes for the day.

it's the woman's attitude that is everything... there's a way you talk to a man that would have him washing your undies and bringing you breakfast in bed with joy. ladies these days are ignorant of this. they talk down on the man, leaving his ego in tatters and yet, they expect him to be reasonable....

kudos to you.... I completely get your point and I concur.

KingCheezyPuff:
[color=#2ecc71]in Nigeria while i am in the US[/color]

metallisc:
....

like what? i am American ,here is home

Toks2008:
The primary duty of the man in marriage is to provide the basic needs of his family talking about the wife and the children while the primary role of the wife is to nurture the husband and the children which is the perfect definition of help mate.

Now it is important to note that no two marriages are the same and what works for you may not work for the other person and the fact that a man provides all the needs of the family does not mean that he can't assist the wife to do some of her primary duties if needs be and a wife who has become the breadwinner may also not mind playing her primary duties without any support from the husband .

But nevertheless i sincerely believe that every man whose wife have become the main bread winner or a co-bread winner to realize that it is very expedient for him to be ready to also be a co-nurturer of the family and also perform the primary duties of the woman such as cleaning the house,cooking,taking care of the children and helping the wife to do things that will ease off the stress from her.

I have heard of several cases where a man who is fully financially dependent on the wife still expects her to do all the domestic activities and prepares all three course meals and some men even get so angry with the wife because she complains of tiredness.

It is very wicked and uncaring for a man whose wife is also a partaker of his primary duties to still expect the lady to fully take care of the home front and this does not make you less a man but will rather encourage the woman and not make her look like a slave in the house.

I know some men will say it is not in our tradition as Africans to do domestic chores and I sincerely agree but we must also understand that it is also not an Africa tradition for a woman to be a breadwinner.

I don't know if this makes sense.

Savigne:
As a woman I have no issue with doing all the house work as long as you're ready to play your role as a man and provide all the kids and I need.... But then again that doesn't stop me from helping out financially when you're low on cash and nothing should stop you also from helping out with chores.... Let's leave culture and religion out of this and use our conscience... If you claim you love someone you would help out when the need arises.

mikolo80:
why you will quickly see husband and happy marriage
Beht you see all these feminazis
Their own don done
Husband go scarce ehn and wen dem manage deceive one maga na suffer then go just de cry for the marriage cos of foolish Oyinbo thinking

Savigne:
Hah hahaha... Leave oooo, some people here just dey blow hot air we all know the reality is quite different....How many feminists you don see for Nigeria?... Not online ooo in real life.